


No More Freedom

by Infinite_Octopaw



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Abuse, Adorable, Angst, Autobots win, Drama, First Person, Friendship, Jazz x Optimus kinda..., M/M, Master/Pet, Master/Slave, Masturbation in Shower, PTSD, Paranoia, Post War, Prisoner of War, Psychological Torture, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Redemption, Romance, Sadism, Slow Build, Sticky, Survivors Guilt, Tags to be added, Toxic Relationship, Trauma, Violence, cute fluff, frendship, jazz has some serious issues, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-06-11 15:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 41
Words: 105,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15318978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinite_Octopaw/pseuds/Infinite_Octopaw
Summary: The war is over and the Decepticons lost now their being handed out as slaves. A small Con by the name of Closelens was given to Autobot Jazz. Jazz doesn’t intend to hurt him, so long as the little Con behaves...





	1. Ch 1: Hell Scape

No more Freedom

Chapter 1

Hell Scape

The war was over to much of the Decepticon’s horror and dismay, myself including. I hadn’t been there to see it personally, but from what I herd; Megatron died on Earths moon. The battle had been in our favour, however the Prime had stormed through and slain him. And like that everything had fallen apart turned The tides, the Decepticon army crumbled under the weight of defeat. Soon it became a race too run for our lives 

The Autobots hunted down every last one of us and put is in chains. Frightened, we all were. Completely at the mercy of our enemy’s.

The anticipation grew the less we herd from the Autobots about there internet.

While some were to tuff to admit it but we were scared for our life’s, my mind plugged with thoughts of us being killed off in lines. Or would they even waste the bullets? Or perhaps they would just starve us to death.

Until one say we were all gathered in the mess hall when we heard the news...

The Prime- thankful, told us that we wouldn’t be execute. That had been my biggest fear because I had seen the Autobots hatred, some of the guards would allow “visitors” to horribly beat us. Thankfully I stayed clear on that, most of them were Autobots with grudges or unfinished rivalries. Me? I was nothing important, I was a scientist. Pits my alt mode was a  
Microscope, not exactly a lot of room for career options...

Thankfully no one hurt me, I’m not exactly what you’d call a fighter. Sure I know how to shoot a blaster but who didn’t? I was always far away and safe. When the Autobot crashed my lab I knew better then to try being some dumb action hero. I had stand down and let them take me, I sincerely hoped the Autobot wouldn’t consider me a threat. I didn’t want the attention.

The cells were really small, most mechs wouldn’t be able to lay down normally. But I’m small. I’m no Mini-Con but I’m no where near average height. Which, again was fine by me. They wouldn’t get satisfied beating some little Decepticon. The cells also had blankets in them for comfort, I had made a habit of hiding in them from the guards had I ever herd pledes. The  
warden would often change hand but for this time it was Fortress Maximus.

He was, without fail the scariest mech I had ever seen. He’d often make examples of misbehaved prisoners and make us watch.

Horrific beatings the likes of which I’d most often close my optics and try not to listen. He was clearly not mentally all there, his time with Overlord was... damaging. Not in front of him of corse.

That kind of stupidity would get you dead. You could tell He already had little patients for us again I know who not to mess with. If a prisoner wasn’t good, you could end up on death row they had here. The triple tap, T-cog brain module then spark.

But above my cell was a green light, that meant I was a good prisoner. I kept quiet, did what I was ordered and made sure I worked diligently at any task I was given. I was a Survivor. I kept telling myself I wasn’t going to die in here. Green was good Yellow was if you were difficult and red was one push away from Primus’s loving embrace.

We were to be trapped in here until the Prime and counsel knew what to do with us.  
And when that day came we were horrified...

The counsel had declared giving us to the Autobot as some sort of reward for there efforts.  
Slaves.

Optimus was fighting the best he could but until he could win, we became fare game. Those same angry Autobots who visited now had a right to take a mech of they’re choice home. Those few weeks were absolutely frightening, I simply pretended to be recharging and hoped I’d disappear. And with the blankets I did.

The tension was so thick you could cut it. The thought of being dragged off as someones property to be plunged into a hole new nightmare. I was horrified someone would come after me a some sort of cathartic beating pillow, it’s all I’d be good for now. I did my best not to cry but the fear was debilitating.

Thankfully there were some hope Autobot who were there to rescue there rivals or some other  
Decepticons until things blew over.

Primus I hope someone like that would come to me.

And that day came, this time I was actually asleep when I heard the cell open. I didn’t move, I  
was frozen. Practical playing dead so they might be unimpressed.

“He might be what your looking for, he’s been absolutely no trouble at all. A model prisoner, his name is Closelens. He’s a mighty small guy but he’s easy to handle. Timid, clearly,” Fortress maximums said before giving the blanket a nudge. “Get up.”

I took a moment to collect myself, I wasn’t going to disobey the warden, I knew better. But I was scared. Who would want a tiny nothing Con. Who actually looked at a pile of trembling blankets and said, “yep I want that”. 

I slowly lifted up the blanket.

 

And found myself staring into a glowing blue visor that made my energon go cold. My joints all locked in place, too scared to gasp but enough to make me want too scream.

But nothing came out.

My tank turned, I felt faint I felt sick..

Jazz...

Second in command to the Prime himself...

This mech had a reputation... and not a nice one. This mech had every job you could think of, leader of espionage, first Lieutenant, head of special OPS, head of Intelligence and a interrogate/torturer. He’s the guy that gets called if Prowl can’t make a person talk. And behind enemy lines he heard that prisoners would try to offline themselves before they’d let him get his hands on them. The thought made me want to start to cry. To be at the mercy of such a powerful mech, one which could disassemble me without a thought...

This was... my master...

That matter-of-fact thought... I felt a wave wash me over in hopelessness...

I turned my frightened expression to the ground not hoping to challenge him. My mind went dark, what if he missed his job. That thought alone made him want to crawl back into the blankets and die.

“Stand. up,” Fortress Maximus ordered again more aggressive, I followed through no hesitation. I barely came up to about Jazz’s shoulder. Funny, I had always heard that he was short he looked down at me and shot me a smile. I looked back down again biting one of my digits to hold back a whimper. Unable to stop myself from shivering.

I’m dead, I’m sooooooo dead, dead mech walking. Jazz was going to take me to his butcher shop and... and...

I felt lubricants in my optics... 

My end... 

Did I upset Primus this much?

“Like I said he knows his position, he knows the consequences, he shouldn’t be a problem.” Fort max said downloading all the stuff to Jazz that would control my collar. Likely, for tracking shocking and exploding in necessary.

“Thanks for keeping him saved for me,” Jazz said friendly, I looked up to that. What dose he mean by that, had he want a smaller mech or did he want... me. Not likely, he probably wanted a smaller mech too torture.

“No problem, now get out of here,” Fortress Maximus said letting us out.

I followed Jazz timidity, I can’t even describe how much I don’t want to fallow this mech. But he turned around and waved me forwards. I picked up the pace, the last thing I wanted was to make this mech mad. His friendly exterior wasn’t fooling me, but Primus it was unsettling.

I fallowed him all the way back to his place in dead silence, it felt like walking to death row.

I was Oblivious to the world around me, it was of no consequence.

We made our way too a large sky scraper. One of the biggest buildings in Iacon. 

Jazz and I got too the elevator. I hesitated briefly but pushed on.

I was forced to stand next to Autobot Jazz...

I don’t even hide my field nor my shivering frame. He was likely well aware of my fears.

Each floor we passed brought on more dread. The build up, anticipation. My master could do whatever he chooses to me. No matter how I scream or cry he won’t be obligated too stop or be reprimanded for it.

I was going to purge...

The elevator stoped at the top floor.

When the door opened he gladly let himself off first, I timidity fallowed. He punched in the code and opened the door to let me in first.

His place was very nice, no smelting pit or melting cambers, torcher devices weren’t hanging by the sealing and most importantly there were no past victims hung up like a trophy. No,  
instead the place... looked like him, if that made sense. Nice, organized, clean but had a sense of stile. The entertainment Stand was the most decked out thing I’d ever seen and in almost all corners of every room had speakers on them. Jazz liked music, that much was well known. Pits, he went and named roughly translates into a style of human music. If there was any sort of torture chamber it was well hidden away from sight.

“Closelens, right?” Jazz finally said taking himself out of his daze. I glanced up at him, unable to find my voice I just nodded slightly.

“Lovely name, my names Jazz. But by the expression of cosmic horror you keep giving me, I assume you know who I am,” he smiled smooth plopping himself on his couch kicking his feet up. I turned my gaze down sharply again.

“S-sorry sir,” I said quietly. Jazz gave a rude laugh.

Please don’t be offended, please don’t be offered, I prayed.

“Don’t be a grovelling mess, you won’t find nothing that annoys me more. And call me Jazz unless I ask otherwise,” he said very flatly. I tried to making me try to make myself stop shivering which just brought more shivers. Jazz noticed.

“Easy kid, I was just playing. I know I’m scary, in fact I find it a bit of a honour to be your boogieman. You’ll find I’m a far mech who will treat you right so long as you behave yourself. Cool?” He said genuine

“Yes, Jazz,” I still said nervously still not buying it. Jazz could peel the armour off my protoform in seconds, he can literally do whatever he pleases with me and no one will care. I must not annoy him or anything that might make him decide to make sport out of me.

“Are you hungry?” He asked...

I looked at him dumbly for a embarrassingly long time, was it a trick question? It felt like a trick question, but I didn’t want to be wrong. If I said yes would he feed me? If I said no would he be upset for refusing him? Would he force feed me if I said no? I became frustrated with myself, I was stumped the the tortures first question. And it wasn’t to hard to answer! It truth was no, but should I say yes in case he plans to starve me? Hopeless, completely hopeless.

“I- don’t... I mean-...” I stammered I put my face in my hands. What a mess... was I having a panic attack, or anxiety fit of whatever it is when you feel like you need to find a blanket and hide.

My chest tightened up and it became hard to vent...

“Mech, you alright?” Jazz asked looking consider.

“Jazz, what... what is the right answer?” I said timidity.

“What?” He asked with a confused laugh. 

I know how stupid that sounds, I know. But I can’t afford to be wrong. Jazz... this was the second in bloody command of my enemy’s. He is- I mean he can do absolutely anything to me absolutely anything he pleases. 

I felt sick and dizzy...

“I... didn’t know what an answer would please you, please help me...” I said lost.

“I’d value honesty, calm down. Your look like your about to having a spark attack. Easy,” Jazz said grabbing my shoulder and letting him sink down to the ground. The world spun as I looked back up to the mech.

This... powerful mech...

Something in me broke like a twig under all the weight of my fears and Anxiety.

“I-I-I’m so so so sorry sir, I... I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” I said Jazz rubbed my back plating to help calm me down. “Please don’t hurt me! I know you- you told me not to be a mess, I’m so so sorry!” I said and he continued

I’d already failed, I already broke! I couldn’t vent!

I was going too get punished, I was already going to die!

“Shhhh, it’s ok. I’m not going to punish you today... you just had your rights revoked and are nothing but my toy unless said otherwise. I’ll let have this,” He said smoothly, he clearly meant what he said. Or at least he was a good actor.

“Thank you sir, I promise. I’ll be whatever you want, I’ll do anything you ask, Just tell me what I need to do to make you happy,” I sobbed uncontrollably

Jazz’s P.O.V

He was right, he a mess. I was a monster when I’m at working, but he was a tiny harmless mech. If I was real honest I do like having mechs cower beneath me, it was a sick sadistic feeling I couldn’t stop. But it also leads to me wanting to protect this mech from the world. He’s mine. I was frightening and intimidating but I’d never go as far as some mechs might. Closelens was sobbing his optics out, frightened out of his frame and simply asking not to be hurt for it. Which is something only I can provide him with.  
That sick sensation made me smile and stroke the side of his helm gently.

“I’m giving you this, I know you’ll be good for me,” I said “You’ll obey me, All you need to do is watch, listen and obey me.”

“I promise I will,” he sobbed looking up too me with his frightened optics.

“I wouldn’t let you fail me, I’ll train you right and help best a master can,” I held him in my arms. He continued to tremble but made no effort to fight. I was his only hope at happiness and he knew it... he needed to submit to me and he’d be ok. That will be the fun part, but for now I’d let him brake himself down.

“Thank you sir,” he said hugging back. He was desperate for comfort... he came to me... he knows I’m now the god of his world, I couldn’t help but smile at that. The fear and relief off his  
frame was intoxicating. Better then the best high grade.

Yes I’m sick, I’m sicker then people comprehend but if Optimus taught me anything, mercy could be a weapon. The last thing I wanted was for my little Closelens to do something stupid, the last thing I wanted was for him to get himself killed in this free for all. I’d be happy to Gide him throw this, and when he comes out the other end never hear the end of his gratitude.  
Slowly he composed himself, he dried his optics and relaxed himself against me.

“Alright, are we feeling better?” I asked letting him sit up, I took his chin and raised it. Again with no abjections. He nodded feeling his vents cool down after his episode.  
“Good, now lets start this again. Remember I like honesty, are you hungry?” I said

“Yes sir,” he said softly

“Ah, you can call me Jazz remember,” I said gently

“R-right, sorry,” he said adorably embarrassed making me chuckle

“Right then, let’s get some fuel in ya tank,” I said as he smiled slightly, this would be fine. This would work. My little Closelens, I’d take good care of him. I won’t let anyone hurt him.

He’s mine...


	2. Ch 2: Training isn’t in a Montage

Chapter 2

Good Training isn’t in a Montage

Jazz’s P.O.V

I gently took my pet by the hand and gilded Closelens over to my fuelling area and see how well he lived up to his growling promises, I had faith.

“Come on darling,” I said pulling him closer and like a good mech he didn’t try to shake me off or anything stupid of the sort. “Now, I want you on your knees hands in your lap.”

Closelens Looked at me dumbly confusion but was distorted with embarrassment, only for a split second I spied a little hint rebelliousness in his optics. But the moment was gone just as fast as it started bringing himself to his knees. I smiled at his defeat, I revelled in it for a moment longer before getting a cube of energon. He looked up at me for direction, oh he was adorable.

“Now let’s put your words to a little test, i don’t mind your little brake down but I hope you won’t make a habit out of it. ‘Sides you’ll fine I value action more then words.” I said stroking the side of his helm.

“Anything you want Jazz,” Closelens said giving me a small worried look.

Closelen’s P.O.V

I had a idea what he wanted, probably to hand feed me or something like that. It’s meant to degrade me into something less, like a Mechanimal But... I didn’t care if it’s degrading, he could do so much worse. I just needed to behave, give Jazz no reason to peal my protoform alive or whatever he’d constitute as a worthy punishment for resisting. No, I needed to make it through this. If I thought I was useless before how much more would I be dead. He wants to help if I prove I’m willing to play along for now at least until I think of some master plan, outside of being pathetic and just taking it. After all he let me cry...  
How sick is that, I joined the Decepticons to be more then what I transformed into and now I must become less then who I was out of the vain hope my greatest enemies leader might save me.

I’m so week, I always have been. I was only ever respected for my intelligence but now what good is it? I will never be able to out fight Jazz. Pits just thinking about it made me nervous, like he could just read my thoughts a beat those ideas out of me. Like I said not a fighter. I’d have to be blessed by Primus’s kiss to made it to the front door in one whole.

I just need to do everything he wants until I get out. I wasn’t lying when I said I’d do anything.

“Good mech, I want you to hold your head back and let me feed you.” He said with his smooth voice, he stroked the side of my helm and gently petted my head fins. I tensed again but didn’t pull away, Primus knows what he’d do to me. I closed my eyes... as I obeyed him keeping my head back as he brought the cube to my mouth and with the tender slowness of a medic slowly let me drink it.

“Shhhhhh.” He said letting his free hand continue to stroke his fin.

Let him do what he wants, let him do what he wants, let him do what he wants...

His touch was still gentle, but a bad twist of his hands could brake them easily and it would be horrifically painful plus I’d choke. I was trapped, I could feel myself start to panic I just looked up at Jazz desperate for help. His smile flashed into something seen only as cruel for a moment before it became genuine. He was clearly loving this, I just kept screaming in my head to let him do what he want. He was having fun and enjoying himself that meant I was doing my job right. I’m fine I’m fine, he won’t hurt me if he’s happy. Jazz is happy I am safe.

“Good,” Jazz hummed, I was doing good. I could relax slightly.  
The energon was sweet, most people liked sweet energon I being one of the odd ones who didn’t really like it but it was better then what was feed at the prison, being a higher grade. Pits, it was better then being starved or being forced to drink crude energon or other nasty things like lubricants or water. Some of the Bot’s at the prison would do that, maybe not like this but I was forced to drink water on more then one occasion. 

It was horrible.

So for sweet Energon, I’ll be grateful, even if the sweetness was starting to burn my throat I’d take it. I won’t complain about like being feed good grade energon while Primus knows what my fellow soldiers likely going through at this very moment. 

I’m fine, this is fine.

Jazz is happy, and if Jazz is happy so can I. I finished it off and only move slightly to get more comfortable. Jazz was Pleased... I kept my hands firmly in my lap watching for feather instructors. I’d just let him tell me what I need to do.

“Fantastic, you can get up Closelens.” I couldn’t help but smile at his praise, his tone was to pleasing. “Now I want you to get to The wash rack and get yourself cleaned and polished, think you can handle that?”

Oh I’d kill for a warm shower, heck yah.

“Of corse, Thank you Jazz,” I said politely bowing my helm.

“No issues, it’s just up the stairs down the hall across from the second room to the left,” Jazz said walking to his couch and crashed.

“Uh, Thank you sir- Jazz,” I repeated dumbly shuffling off to the wash racks.

That was a habit I needed to brake, I’d never been high in the chain of command. A secret I never told anyone was I had never actually bothered to learn my superiors names as they’d just end up being shipped out or die so I’d just call them all ‘sir’.

I really had no excuse here as I clearly know who my new... master, was.

That word burned more bitter then the energon, but I need to get used to it. For my sake I needed to get used to it.

I made a surprised squeak noise as I tripped over my own feet.

Jazz’s P.O.V

Jazz watched him as he tripped going up the stairs and disappeared into the higher levels. Adorable he will make the perfect pet, anyone else would have destroyed him. But I, I’m better then that.

Closelens...

Hopefully Prime can beat the new head honchos, I don’t what him to suffer like this forever. But I will enjoy spooking him, he’s so cute. The pleading look in his optics when I had his audio fin was perfect. The ‘what must I do to stop you from hurting me’, it prevented any sort of rebellious thoughts. I’d have hated to damage him so soon, just as he was getting himself back together.

But no, not now, not today.

He’d slip up sooner then later once he gets more confident and I can’t have him trying something stupid in front of someone like Springer or Primus forbid Ultra Magnus. So I can take him anywhere in public like the shopping district but I think. I know a place I can take him, no meeting with Prime or anyone else. I’ll wait until he slips up at least once bad enough to need punishment. I’d be horrified if he embarrassed me in front of anybody important, but most of all was I wanted to help prove the counsel wrong about the Cons. There can be pease But let’s hope he won’t try nothing to stupid-

I need to stop doing that. The mech might be a adorable little thing yes but he was also a scientist, he is not stupid. I can’t let my guard down enough to let him poison my energon or if he’s really to afraid to try and kill me, kill himself. I don’t think I could forgive myself if I pushed him to far.

It’s a delicate thing that requires careful planning and care. Unlike what Springer thinks...

No I take care of my things, why would I want to keep something that was otherwise broken.

Speaking of, He was grimy looking and I couldn’t have my dear Closelens unkept especially after he’s spent Primus how long rapped up is a prison cell. But no matter I’ll keep him in the best shape I can. I’m sure Closelens will appreciate it.

Closelens’s P.O.V

The water felt amazing, I could feel the grime side off my body. Everything just washed away...

Jazz hasn’t hurt me yet,

I was expecting a true living nightmare but I’m hole. My plating is still on, my optics work fine I would even go as far to say... felt hope, for the first time in a long while I felt strong.

I didn’t want to take to long so Jazz wouldn’t think I was abusing his kindness so far. So I cleaned myself up quickly dried myself off, just before I left leaned towards a mirror to give a once over. Making sure I was all cleaned up for my grand entrance.

But I got distracted.

A horrible thought got into my head, a horrible, very bad, no good thought.

What is he was lying... what if this is some sick game to him where the moment I start getting comfortable he... dose his torcher thing. Or what if he has no plans to hurt me and this is all some mind game. The point is, what if this is some messed up form of physiological torcher. One where it ends with my armour getting pealed off.

And yes I do have a reason I’m not one for amour pealing. To me it one of the least... good way to torcher me.

I know I’m weak, but to have amour ripped off not only hurts something awful but it leaves the delicate protoform fresh for the real agony. My armour is my first and last line of defence. If he goes for my armour I will fight him and find the quickest way to...

I don’t like that option.

I can’t think like that.

I won’t let him do that to me.

I’m week but I’m no cowered, well not like that.

I’ve been belittled by every, Everyone in my life. My fellow cons made some hurtful things and hurtful pranks but I’ve considered myself to smart to do something so selfish. Death is not the only way out. That only what closed minded people think when they don’t have it in them to think harder.

I will get throw this, nothing last forever.

I can be what Jazz wants and I can get throw this. The game was really on this time and I can play along, this is far from finished.

The grime is off and I’m all ready to start this again, with clean body and a motivational umph.


	3. Ch 3: Rules of the House

Chapter 3

Rules of the house

After a my quiet reflection I had to think carefully, I don’t believe Jazz would tolerate such a brake down. Not at a price, then again what was getting on my knees and being hand fed meant to be.

Likely a little power play.

That’s fine I guess but what use dose he have for me I dough he got me for my brains so what exactly was he going to do to me. In the prison there had been some talk about the guards... forcing themselves on the prisoners.

My power of ‘hiding under blankets and pretending I’m not there’ technique. Unfortunately I doubt Jazz will find that amusing and the idea of him grabbing me by my ankles to pull me out seemed monstrous. But so far this have been fine, so I keep telling myself. But what good I’m I if I just give up and let him take me. Primus help me if he wants me to...

My vents wheezed hot air, I knew I couldn’t hide in here forever. The last thing I need it for him to-

Knock Knock

“Closelens is everything alright in there?” Jazz asked through the door causing me to panic a bit.

“Yes s-Jazz everything is fine, s-sorry I’ll be out in a nanosecond.” I bit my lower lip and hurried it up I made use I had put everything in its proper place and as neatly as I could. When I was about to touch the door handle I froze again.

No

Now is not the time, Jazz was right there and if I didn’t get out soon he’d drag me out. I took one last exhale before just doing it. And with a sudden thump I had ran into his chest seemingly he had been going in at the same time to fetch me. I looked up him more embarrassed then anything, this could have been avoided but no I had to get all scared now I have now indirectly hit the second in command of the Autobots only single step down from Prime himself and he was staring at me. But with a amused smile.

“Hello there,” he said sweetly with a slight chuckle, I just put hands over my face all flushed. Jazz laughed again but not in a mocking way. “Aww don’t be so shy pet, your fine.” He gently grabbed my chin and forced me to look up. He could see Lubricants forming at my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I squeaked pathetically, like that my confidence broke into little bits. He slowly grabbed my hands.

“I’m not going to hurt you yet little Closelens, and it won’t be for no reason or without warning.” His smirked turned sinister “I don’t brake my shiny new things.”

This wasn’t helping in fact I think it’s not meant to, that enjoyment watching me nearly brake down again in front of him was giving him some sort of sadistic buzz. But Primus it made me tremble. He had so much control and he had captured my hands trapping me practically against his chest. I couldn’t look at him anymore, his Visor made impossible to read his optics. Worst off was I could feel the pleasure he took from doing this to me off his frame.

My suffering makes him happy... how hopeless fails to describe how I feel. Something akin to empty loss or absolute crushing defeat. No digital no straight nothing but trying not to cry again.

“Closelens,” He said smoothly I made myself look up again. This time I had a look of defeat that he I’m sure could feel.

“Yes Jazz,” I asked

“Has anyone ever said you look pretty,” he hummed over me, this time I felt obligated to keep my head up.

“W-what?” I asked I felt myself heat up slightly

“Yeah, when your all shiny and clean like this, I bet you hand Mechs and Femmes climbing over each other to get the chance to ask you out,” He whispered in my audio receptors and pilling my hands to his sides so we were touching again. I was to frightened to fight him to try and pull away. My component started to glitch.

“I-I never... really. A-a-a mech my size, it’s just that I-“ I tried to tell him I never been with someone. I was always a subject to ridicule never EVER of envy.

“It doesn’t matter, your mine now. Mine to play with, to touch to taste to feel. And I will take care of you, tell you how keep me satisfied and hurt you when you fail. But your smart, you’ll learn,” He got dangerous close to my face.

“Please, Don’t hurt me,” I whimpered.

“No, not yet. I only hurt those who defy me, like take to long in the shower,” Jazz whispered making me violently flinch expecting something horrible my optics went wide.

“But I forgive you, you gave me this wonderful moment,” Jazz gently slid his units between my own opening my hand up. A just went along with it. Jazz chuckled slightly under his breath.

“You’re smart Closelens, that’s why you’ll make it,” he whispered making me tremble again. Jazz pulled away leaving me there all confused to what to feel. He said such nice things but said them so threateningly he threatens to hurt me and I’m frozen to feeling anything other then what he wants me to feel. He’s ice cold yet warm. He’s cruel but he hasn’t hurt me in any way.

Jazz turned and walked away back to the living room. He snapped his units and pointed forward telling me to follow.

Jazz’s P.O.V

If laughing wouldn’t brake the illusion I would have been on the floor. Adding the slag about taking to long in the shower was up there in his evilest master plans ever. His optics his frame everything was perfect. They didn’t make Circuit boosters that could make me this high. He was perfect the right mix of longing for protection and being frightened. Of corse I wasn’t going to hurt him bumping in to him or not. He was to cute. The way Closelens squeaks when startled the way he just stands there hopeless confused looking to me for guidance.

When he bumped into me and he looked up at me with his shy little expression.

His pretty frame looked fantastic all cleaned up, at first I thought he was a black but it turned out he had a dark Burgundy colour with yellow highlights. His borderline now useless alternative mode made it tragic. I mean I see others take the seekers out to fly and it’s not like I can take him outside for a...

I suddenly had a idea. But I’ll wait for tomorrow. For now I need to give a house tour and make it more home for him. Who knows how long until Prime convinces the consul that slavery is bad and I’ll have to let my Closelens go. I got a ping of sadness at the thought.

No one has ever lived with me or so much as cared. And no I mean more The in a BFF way. But I don’t plan on hurting the kid especially in that way, I’ll tease him. Hell I can’t wait for.

Speaking of I love that he’s here I like to be needed, this mech needs me. Yes I’m mean and absolutely cruel, my Closelens will come to no real harm I know what I’m doing. I could here his pleads lightly thump behind me not wanting to get to close but not far enough to be encouraged along.

“Alright, this is your new home. I throw a lot of parties so it will be nice to have someone help with set up. Fortunately clean up won’t be needed, Everyone know that I get... upset if I find so much a energon candy rapper I’d hunt them down and make them eat it.” I joked but he looked at me in horror, I chuckled slightly.

“That’s why I have you to keep me happy, right?” I said letting my tone dip lower making him shiver again but he nodded quickly.

“Y-yes Jazz,” he trembled I already got my fix for now so I wont scare him now. But he needs to know his place.

“I’m having a party in a few days, think of it as a test. Things go well then that will be that. But make me have to send my friends home early to deal with you and you’ll find me also... upset.” I said making it clear I’d put up with none of it, Closelens nodded diligently. I smiled again wanted to give him some faith “But sincerely don’t think you’ll be much trouble, won’t you?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it sir- Jazz,” he corrected himself faster then I could reacted.

“That’s the spirit, stay on top of yourself. It’s better you correct yourself then me,” I said playfully he jumped back at the idea of punishment, he was to cute.

Closelens’s P.O.V

He showed me the around the house in all its rooms, no torcher room to my surprise. But the hour was late and I wanted to pass out. The guest bedroom is where I assumed is be sleeping but Jazz instead pulled me into his room. Oh slag oh slag oh slag.

I can’t, if this is going where I think it is there going to be a lot of problems...

I followed him into his room regardless, he closed the door and locked it behind us. My expression as you could imagine was horrified.

Jazz shot me a devil smile that sent ice energon throw me.

“I’m impress by you Closelens, you did really good today. You Pleased me, And good pets get to sleep in there masters berth,” Jazz snaked up behind me and rapped his arms around me. I couldn’t stop myself this time I panicked I pulled a fought.

“No no no no no no no no-“ I cried over and over. Not like this I can’t no. I take back what I said he can do whatever to me, except that!

“Closelens?” He said pulling me tighter. Not enough to hurt but enough to stop me from getting away.

“MASTER PLEASE!” I sobbed desperately “no no no no you said I Pleased you? Why?” I asked to no one in particular, just to the universe. Just a honest to goodness ‘Why?’

“Closelens, easy Mech, easy...” Jazz used a soft gently voice, I collapsed into tears.

“Brake my armour, peal it off. Take out my optics you like to watch me be clumsy. Brake me in ways I haven’t thought of, just not this sir, please, not this...” I sobbed loudly, the sound echoed off the walls for a while, Jazz made no move on me. He set me back down so my pleads touched to floor very gently.

“Primus Closelens...” he whispered spark broken. It was then I noticed he wasn’t getting any sort of thrill out of this. No laughter or amused purrs nothing. “Please look at me.”

I slowly turned to facing and taking longer then normal to look up at the black and wight mech.

“Closelens baby, treat this conversation like the most serious conversation you’ve ever had in your life because it’s seriously to me. I will never ever hurt you like that. I’m here to help you not destroy you,” Jazz said in his most sincere voice he had. I couldn’t help but have a head full of doubt he knew the rumours about... what some Autobots do for... entertainment. My optics fell but Jazz quickly made me look back up at him again.

“The word ‘No’ is and that’s a word I have ever respect for especially in the berth... I’m a monster, I know what I am and how you see me. But my berth, no, our berth is safe.” He grabbed my hands and put his units between mine again. “Please, I would never harm anyone with it, it’s called self control and if there isn’t completely consent it’s not happening. I know how helpless your position feels, Believe me I know. I’d never hurt you like that, you’ll believe me won’t you?”

He sounded sad that I ever thought he’d... he’d hurt me. And what did he mean he’s been here? What is he talking about.

“Swear to me,” I suddenly demanded without hesitation or scolding for demanding something from my master he swore.

“I swear on my still beating spark and to Primus himself I will never take you or anyone by force,” Jazz made himself as clear as possible. “This bed is safe, you are safe. And so help the any mech that so much as thinks of lays a hand on you.”

I looked up at him again confused

“I will always protect you, your mine, no one else,” he whispered

“Why me?” I asked genuinely as he pulled his arms around me

“Because I wanted you,” he said almost aggressively

“That’s no what I meant,” I asked choosing to push

“No more questions, you need recharge,” Jazz stoped to conversation dead in its tracks and I thought it best to stop. Jazz and I climbed into the berth and I get comfortable in the sheets. They were a million times more softer and warmer then the ones at the prison. I felt Jazz grabbed my wast from behind and dragged me to his chest. I looked up at him before he smiled back down.

“I not going to hurt you, not here. Ever...” He whispered. There was something he wasn’t telling me. There had to be a reason a mech like Jazz never let his torcher go to the berth. Why I had been chosen over everyone else. I was a non essential part of a nothing teem of scientist. Jazz was the second in command of the Autobot army. Heck if he had asked for two no one would be stupid enough to try and stop him. So why me? I herd Jazz move again.

“Relax, tomorrow I don’t want you to fuel yourself. When you get up you clean what you can. I’ll get a chore list ready for the next day. When you here me get up I want no surprise. I’m special Ops trained I will hurt you. I want you on your knees in the middle of the living room not a word unless I tell you. Don’t you dare wake me up.” Jazz said sternly

“Yes Jazz,” I said nervously “G-good night.”

Jazz smiled

“Good night Closelens,” He said nicely “And please, never address me as ‘Master’ again”

I slowly nodded my head, needing sleep I couldn’t be bothered to care anymore. Today really zapped my energy.

“Good mech.”


	4. Ch 4: Day 2

Chapter 4

Day 2

I slowly woke from recharge finding myself remembering where I was. I was not at home, not at prison but the second in command of the Autobot’s berth. His arms rapped lovingly around my body. I, to nervous to move, how would he react if he woke up. He said he wasn’t a fan of sudden movement and it’s not like I’m THAT small that I could escape... I come up to Jazz, shoulder. I tried to reassure myself through my vertically challengedness. But if I’m honest I’m just stalling my attempt to move from him. Like if I try to move he might think I’m trying to escape or something stupid my tired mornings thought up. But here I was being hugged by the most dangerous mech alive. Even if he woke up and decided I no longer need my fuel pump, Primus help me, I wouldn’t have one. It’s not like anyone would help if I screamed.

What if I stayed here instead? I was comfortable I didn’t- under the right conditions, hate snuggling like this. It felt, oddly safe and that was a rare thing for me to emit. Everywhere was hostile againsts me, war, no war, Jazz, no Jazz.

I don’t know, perhaps I’m just looking for silver lining in this scary place. But who did I have left really. Jazz was the only one who... wants anything to do with me.

Nope.

Nope nope.

That is a ten tuns of nope.

I’m not getting Stockholm syndrome. Not now and serenely not a bot that get some sort of exotic thrill ever time he sees me...

Uncomfortable

A shiver went slightly up my frame, Not the right word for it.

I deeply exhaled and ever so gently pealed Jazz hands free from my frame rolling of the berth to the other side. Jazz stirred slightly but I was in the clear. I didn’t want him thinking I was lazy and give me a workload I couldn’t handle. I shuffled off to the living room giving the Energon refinery a passing glance/glare. I was running low but wouldn’t die or without it but the evil thought danced across my mind. No. I like my hands where they are. Now would be better spent planning a exit strategy.

I grabbed the clean supplies from the closet and started cleaned around the room, Jazz probably has the hole place bugged so I can’t make it look obvious. It gave me a chance to get up close and personal with the windows vents and doors. We were in the pent house on top of a huge apartment building it’s. The windows could all open but were locked. Jazz didn’t want me getting any cowardly ideas. The front door was locked both ways clearly with only a key pad with a 4 digit code. I could hack it, I could get in get the code and get out easy. I got a better look at the devices pretending to dust it.

But I If I hack it a alarm will go off, Jazz will know and who knows what his punishment for trying to escape. Then it hit me, I also wearing a big ugly collar around my neck. I’ve had it on so long I forgot. I’d never be able to get it off. At the front the collar had smaller rings that attached to my energon neck cables. I have no idea of how to get it off, if I tried pulling it off the damage could offline me.

Not to mention the functions that came with it, it had a Electric shock option a tracking device and a quick explosion device sitting at the back of my neck. If I was to run Jazz has hub control over the collar no remote he with a simple command could just blow my head off.

A overwhelming feeling of hopelessness washed over me. I looked over at the vents but just decided they weren’t worth checking. The worst part is if I did run he probably wouldn’t kill me, he’s a speedster. Most Autobot are, he’d catch up to me in seconds and drag me back here. All the more reason to do what he says and keep him happy. He must like me, Pits he said so yesterday he found me pretty.

But I still don’t know why Jazz wants me, he completely voided the question. No there is a answer, if I’m gonna be trapped here might as well figure out some mysteries.

Suddenly I herd movement from Jazz bedroom, my spark started to really pulse in my chest. I dropped what I was doing and ran into the middle of the living room and got on my knees like he told me two last night. My body started to shiver as I waited for him. No, I shouldn’t be scared, he asked me to do this. I’ve done nothing he didn’t wish me to, he won’t hurt me. Jazz won’t hurt me. Maybe it’s all these rebellious thought that we’re making me nervous. Jazz was no mind reader but he could read people... that’s just silly. I’m making myself more scared for no reason. I’ve been good, I’ve listened. Jazz won’t hurt me if I obey.

Jazz’s P.O.V

I woke up with a big stretch, I found my arms looking for my pet. I was hit with a ping of sadness when I realized he was probably already awake. It had felt nice to have someone sleeping next to me for once. Especially after he got nice and relaxed on me. I didn’t like him beings afraid of the recharging with me. I was insulted when he thought I’d-

I didn’t even want to finish that sentence. He’s mine without forcing myself on him. I will never make another living being ever go through that, NEVER.

I clenched my digits into a fist and brought them close to my chest, Letting myself exhale before getting up. I needed to get out of this headspace. Speaking of Closelens, I wonder how well he was listening. I walked slowly out of my room and made my way down the hallway and down a flight of stairs. I peered down into the living room when I saw my little pet on his knees wanting quietly for me to address him. His was looking up at me with a innocent expression but quickly looked down. I smiled at his submissive, a thing of beauty. I slowly descended downward making the tension build making Closelens uncontrollably with anticipation. A wave for uncertainty rolled off his frame as my optics traced over him, not once did I take my look away from his body. And like a good mech he didn’t say a word.

He would get comfortable with this latter on but for now I wanted to make him squirm. I moved beside him and traced the side of his helm with my digits gently. I slowly circled him, I wanted to admire this wonderful sight. He was nursing, good, I want him to be. I started to play with his audio fin, letting it slide throw my digits slowly.

I leaned closer from behind behind him and whisper in his audio

“‘Morning pet,” I purred, Now the day could really begin. He shivered slightly as I stud back over me, drinking it all in the fruits of my labour. His pretty red optics darted away from me again, I was much to intimidating to attempt to stair down. There was no challenge there, while some stupid mechs might say it wasn’t worth it. I’d say they didn’t know how good it feels to have absolute control. Few mechs can have this much true power over someone and it was simply breathtaking. I know how twisted this all is but I also made peace with it. I know I’m in control not it.

He was mine and I simply want him to know it and when I was sure he know it, I can start bringing him into the public eye. I just needed him to slip up once, Give him a punishment he won’t forget so he’ll try his hardest to never displease me again. But maybe I won’t have to, perhaps he’ll be good despite the lack of violence. Lean to appreciate the kindness I do offer him. I never want to hurt Closelens for the sake of hurting him. Only real monster can do that. I simply want what’s best, and I know what I’m doing. Controlling people’s emotions was part of the trade I’ve mastered to perfection. Speaking of here he was, obediently waiting. Letting touch him in anyway I’d like, That was something I’d happily rewarded.

“Closelens, Feel like wishing me a good morning?” I said teasingly he froze for a second looking surprised by the sudden spotlight.

“Y-yes, Good morning Jazz.”

He was to cute. My hands brushed under his chin as I let out a purr.

“Did you sleep well?” I asked him

“Yes, I-it was nice to be in a bed again. Thank you,” he bowed his helm very politely. A chuckle passed my lips. His frame didn’t suggest genuine gratitude, he was just saying that to be politely.

It irked at my spark.

The thought of him being happier on the floor then with me. I took my hand away, not wanting to touch him, my smile had vanished. ‘Liar’ I wanted to call him but I thought about it more...

He probably never slept next to someone before in his life and just before that he thought I’d... rape him.

The words were bitter in my head. And made me more upset that he thought I’d do that to him. My little Closelens... the thought made me sick But like before I needed to let this go... he was just being polite, just let this one go.

However perhaps a warning was needed... no, he was harmless and just being polite.

He noticed the shift in my mood and looked up at me deeply considered. I smiled at him again, he was adorable.

“Sweet spark, how would you like to go outside today?” I asked him, it was beautiful out there. He nodded his helm.

“I know we haven’t fuelled yet so what say we have a morning picnic, I know this wonderful park close by here.”

Closelens’s P.O.V

It has been forever since I’ve been outside. Property, not counting coming here yesterday. My cell had no window or anything. He brushed my audio fin again with a purr but I didn’t tense up this time. I decided to relax into his hold. If he wanted to hurt me it’s not like I could stop him.

“Um, Jazz, I was kinda wondering if-“ I tried to talk but he gripped my fin tighter making me silent again. I nervously looked up at him.

“No talking, we’ll save that for outside. But I would like for you to go get some polish from the wash rack and come back here, please.” Jazz said without losing his friendly tone.

I just managed to stop myself from saying “Yes Jazz” before getting myself up and running off to the wash rack again. The wash rack was neat like the rest of the place so it easy to find-

There it was, I grabbed the polish with a rag and ran back. I could tell Jazz was please with my pace just by his expression. His smiles still sent shivers down my frame. I think because I couldn’t read his optics I had no idea if it was real or not.

“On your knees again, you missed some places on your back yesterday.” Jazz hummed taking it from my hands.

“Sor-“ I stoped myself from talking, Jazz shot me a warning look before I got to my knees again. Jazz went behind me and began cleaning of the the spots I missed. I was embarrassed, that someone sparklings do not full grown mechs like me. But a thought came to mind.

Jazz is lying, I know how to clean myself perfectly fine. I was about to say something when I remember I wasn’t supposed to talk. He planned this didn’t he, he just wanted to polish me.

I didn’t know how to feel about this, I-I mean it’s... flattering i think but there was this certain era of creepiness to it. His hands did feel good, I felt warm again. Jazz must have felt my temperature change because of his little laugh making me even more embarrassed.

“Aww, I’m glad you like it. I think I’ll do this more often,” he said... Jokingly? I can’t tell if he’s serious or not. Probably if he did this on purpose. I don’t know why? I mean couldn’t he just demanded me to let him polish me. No,

Most likely he thought of this as a game. It didn’t matter, he was already hand feeding me so why let me keep all my dignity when he could hold it. But I didn’t fight.

Once Jazz finished he gave me a good once over.

“Perfect, I cant have you looking unclean. Now I’ll grab the energon cubes and we can go. Alright?” Jazz said moving on to the energon refinery, I nodded. “It’s fine you can talk, honestly your doing grate so far. In fact I think a treat is in order...”

Jazz came back with a bag of energon goodies he held one in his hand. I reached for it like anyone would but Jazz pulled away. Jazz gave me a stern look that frighten me. I gasp flinching slightly as he cupped my face. He shook his head...

“Do pets take food from there masters?” Jazz asked sternly

“N-no,” I whispered frightened

“Did I ask you to take it from me?” He asked again in the same tone

“No, I’m-“ I Tried to say

“And did I ask for apologizes?” He added making me flinch again but didn’t pull away. I wouldn’t dream of it, I rapped my hand around his arm fearfully.

“No,” I whimpered shutting my optics

“Then don’t, I’ll let it slide this once. But don’t do it again am I clear?” He said

“Yes Jazz,” I said

“Good, not say aww.”

I obeyed. I had no choice but to obey. I was looking over a edge of endlessly possibilities for pain. My head hurt. Jazz shattered any comfort I had held on to. He let me off this time? What would he have done to me if I didn’t. My mind turned inside out trapping myself in a dark place.

Jazz gently placed the glowing green treat in my mouth without further protest. I shut my optics harder and unplugged myself from reality for my sanity’s sake I needed to focus on the here and now.

The treat was sour but in that delicious way. It tasted amazing.

“Don’t chew, let it sit in your mouth,” I heard Jazz order nice and smooth like, I opening my optics. He has on a his cruel smile and just watched me. Taking in every expression on my face like a treat of his own.

The candy melted in my mouth and across my glossa and moved through my mouth. It tasted delicious, absolutely divine. I wasn’t sure about swallowing, if Jazz didn’t order it then it stands to reason I shouldn’t do it. I didn’t want to take my chances and make him make me purge only to Primus forbid ‘try again’. My optics looked back up to his blue visor for further instructions. He tilted his helm slightly caressing my jaw line.

“Good ant they swallow,” he said in a way that made me feel sick. I listened, Primus I listened. I started up at him still frozen in fear...

“Now, what do we say,” he let me go and stood himself up.

“T-t-thank you Jazz, it... it was delicious,” My voice quake. I felt small, I felt violated and stepped on. My hole being wanted to purge itself to death. He really made me thank him for this. Jazz... torcher extraordinaire made me thank him for making me feel like... this. I was disgusted with him I was disgusted with myself, I let this monster do this to me. And why? He only does this for kicks. My misery his twisted game a source for entertainment.

The reason I joined the Cons was to free myself from the shackles my transformation cog. Now look at me, I only managed to get myself into tighter ones.

Next thing I know I was fighting off tears, no, not again not in front of him again... I’m stronger than that. I believe I’m stronger than that. No I’m not. I’m weak and broken, I always been. Now what am I? I was thinking someone for bringing me such agony. Without even needing to raise servo I was broken staring up into optics that saw me as a prize he had won.

Why me?

Someone like him should have been given Soundwave o-or one of the other heads of the Cons not some nothing some-some broken garbage like me.

“Here we go again” I thought to myself as Jazz’s evil face began to blur.

Doing the one thing I was good at,

crying.


	5. Ch: Good Morning

Chapter 5

Good Morning 

Jazz’s P.O.V

And just like that he started crying again. His Field was a static mess of hopeless and true despair. Lost in his own mind to hear my voice as I called to him, audios must be glitching. Perhaps I should have ask Ratchet for a earlier appointment. I got down on one knee and took his helm in my two servos.

“Closelens?” I said again but instead he just fell against me sobbing harder. It broke my spark to see him like this. But I enjoyed his helm against me. I don’t want him to be a grovelling mess.

He’s no fun like this.

Did I push to hard? He freaked out like this last night when I fuelled him. No cuz he panicked in the my bedroom.

“I can’t take it anymore, why did you choose me? Why not some other mech, why did it have to be me!” He sobbed into my chest. “ I’m a good for nothing scientist, I’m not smart or pretty or worth any of your attention. A-and i keep messing up. I can’t do this I-I can’t... I can’t.”

His fans buzzed fast and he was clearly in need of some confidence. I need to keep tearing him down and building him back up again, it’s the best way to get used to me. He needed to trust and rely on me for strength, faith I’d take care of him. I’d be happy to give to him.. pulled him away from me so I could get a closer better look at my mech.

“Is that all this is about?” I teasingly chuckled Closelens looked at me longingly as he adorably nodded in my hands. I used my left hand to clear tears away from his beautiful face. He let me but unlike the other times I’ve touched him this felt needed.

“Firstly, I got you because I wanted you. Nun of the other mechs would have pleaded me like you have. Secondly you are smart and you are pretty.” I said without a word of a lie it may not be the hole truth but he needed to here this... “I don’t keep stupid or ugly things.”

I stopped for a second... I really wanted what I was saying to sink in...he looked at me with thoughtful optics. I didn’t want to let anything slip.

“Lastly and most importantly... I would never set someone like you, in your position up for failure. Sweet thing that not how I roll. I want you to please me, I won’t let you fail, shhhhhh...” I said helping him to relax, perhaps getting him to stop crying. There was more... but it’s not relevant. Not now at least.

Yes I like scaring the hell out of him but I know what to far looks like. Blind fear wasn’t enough. I wanted him submissive but not brake, I wanted him obedient but not just out of fear. It wasn’t enough. He needs to want to make me happy. If I can do that he’ll have a easier time of it and I can still scare him got kicks.

Closelens will get accustomed to my touch and know when to bend to me. It will take time but it will work. He just needs to trust me. But I’ll give him plenty of time. I know what it’s like to be hopeless lost and utterly shattered. I didn’t have so much luck.

“S-swear to me, please...” he said hopelessly his Field was desperate to grab hold of me. He wanted to trust me, he wanted everything I said to be the truth.

“I... really wanted to take you to the park to discuss all this, in a less... claustrophobic place. But if you want it here then absolutely. I swear I won’t give up on you Closelens...”

“I care... But you need to keep your promise to me,” I wanted to say.

“I need obedience from you.” I said petting him gently.

Closelens’s P.O.V

I was frightened, I wanted to run but I wanted a hug. But I was powerless to do anything. Jazz wasn’t holding all the card no he had the hole game. I could trust nothing he said but hand no one to trust but him. My body hurt from the pulling in my mind.

I just wanted to live.

I wanted him to stop looking at me like that.

I wanted to cry again, I wanted for him to say he wouldn’t hurt me and I was safe but I’d never be safe. He is a stranger who I need to pin all my hopes on, I’d just nodded because that’s what he wanted to hear. If he wanted obedience I’ll try. Primus I’m trying. If that’s what gives me value then so be it

No one has ever respected me in my life. I was a scientist before the war, I had more money then I knew what to do with. But I never wanted to be a scientist, I wanted more but I couldn’t. The Cons wanted freedom, liberation. Wealth would never make me a slave. Nor would my T-cog.

But that’s not what I found. When I joined there ranks. People like me were the ones we were at war with. Why would they fight along side some little billionaire microscope. Megatron’s writings were meant to inspire people who had nothing and had no other opinions. But I was just inspired me to rise to be more not worth more. I fought for my right for a job I wanted. Being good at something is different from liking it.

But what did they stick me as... a scientist. I made the nasty chemical weapons that slaughtered thousands. Yeah I never dropped the bombs but My servos weren’t any cleaner, still I was picked on for my altmode, my weath, my hight, That just because I was rich made me any less suppressed. And I was willing to sacrifice for that caws just like any other. Now we all share chains...

There was a sickening madness in Jazz that was both mesmerizing but to frightening to look at. It hurt to imagine how far he’d go before he sold me to the highest bidder. Or decided to torture me until I finally begged, screaming for Primus to take me from my living being. To simply let me die. There was something wrong with Jazz,

What the in the pits happened to this mech...

Would I obey him? Yes. But I’d never trust him? No, never.

But to Jazz, I had no answer and he had already moved on. He grabbed my hands gently brought me close. I flinched but didn’t try to escape. His Field rapped around mine, ebbing And flowing lovingly, moving to soothe me. consoled me. Jazz’s sporadic off and on affection was concerning to say the least. Everything about his was... but I was to emotional to care. I needed this. I needed his singe of approval to keep going, his affection made me feel wanted. For the first time in my life.

Jazz maybe no mind reader but he was doing something to me. Weather it was good or bad I wanted- no. needed to get lost in it. I’m a blubbering softy, you won’t find me denying it.

If this is still just a game to Jazz then He wants me happy now, wanted to be happy.

Jazz interrupted my thoughts.

“I feel your answer pet... but for now I’d really like to take you outside. The apartment is killing me,” he said rubbing his own faceplate standing up. “And I’m sure hungry, you?”

I just nodded, I was running low. And... the park sounded nice I guess.

“Right then, I assume you won’t need a leash I’d hope.” He hummed I nodded

“I’m not... I wouldn’t run or anything,” I spoke softly joining him on my feet. He put the small bag of goodie he had dropped onto the floor, into his sub space.

“Good, I’ll trust you, Just a second I’ll be right back.” Jazz said going back up the stairs humming as he went. Likely some organic music... made me wonder,

If Jazz want some sort of thrill with being feared why didn’t he have some organic to terrorize? They were small and some found them cute. He likes there culture so why not have a one of them to amuse him.

No the reason it was me was because he wanted me. I’ve never been wanted... my fuel tank turned, I felt sick. No I didn’t know what to feel I would be flattered it it didn’t scare me so much.

I- I wanted Jazz to protect me, but I wanted protection.

I hated being reduced to a plaything, I hated being degraded and feeling like a Meahanimal.

I needed to get over it, Jazz Field- his love and care felt real. Like he meant everything, wanted me to be happy and feel l soooo badly wanted to trust him. Believe he got me to protect, wants to get me out of here. But some still feels... wrong. It’s a trap, I’m being manipulated but can I afford to not believe. I just...

I don’t want to get hurt.

Was that so wrong? everything he said felt dangerous.

I exhaled my vents. I needed to get out of my thoughts. I herd Jazz’s humming get louder as he got closer, I looked to him.

He had a blanket with him.

“Hey, Closelens. Would you mine tucking this in your sub space, I’m kinda out of room.”

Jazz’s had a relaxed tone, like that conversation didn’t just happen and-

He gave me the blue blanket so I tucked it away. I am surprised how much he really wanted this picnic...

“Good mech, lets go!” He sang moving his way to the front door. He stopped for a second and looked back to me.

“If your ever in any trouble and for some reason I’m not here, the pin to get out is 5942. Ironhide is on the first floor down, Alright?” Jazz said with a gentle tone. My spark froze. Did he just... did he just tell me how to get out. Or was this some sort of test.

And really? Like I’d be stupid to knock on Ironhide’s door. That mech could brake me in half like a glow stick. Jazz noticed me tense.

“Relax my mech, he’s big, mean and good at killing Cons. abut he’s got a crippling weakness to being a big ‘old softy for little bots that need help. Plus he already knows your here I asked him to house sit to watch you tomorrow. It’s why I needed to spend a little quality time with my favourite pet.” He said giving me a pet on the head. My fans kicked in as I embarrassedly heated up.

No

Let him call you whatever he want.

But sweet Solus Prime The Third in command of the Autobot was in this building two? And he was coming over to babysit me? It’s nice to know he likes small bots like me otherwise the brutal Con killer part might have made me nervous... OH WAIT!

I was ticked off and frightened, I couldn’t keep it out of my Field. Jazz gave me a cautious look but I tightened my field closer. Jazz decided to ignore it and hold out his hand warmly.

“Alrighty then, let go.” He said nicely with a genuine smile. My hand trembled a bit but I took his hand, it not being the first time I had to. He entered the code and we went on the way.

It’s funny, if you’d have told me two days ago that I’d be going on a picnic holding hands with Autobot Jazz. I’d say it they were mad.


	6. Ch 6: This is no Game

Chapter 6

This is No Game

Jazz hand a gently grip on my hand as we walked down the street together. it was still underpopulated but some neutrals have been returning so At least it wouldn’t look so empty, like when I was dragged to prison. Plus construction was already going on so that’s nice.

I smiled, I always wanted to go to Iacon but the war broke and... yeah. No way I was traveling to the Autobot home city. I let myself just soak in the view when when I heard Jazz start to whistle a toon none that I didn’t recognized. It sounded nice and up beat, even if it as likely a organic toon.

It wasn’t until l went outside did I release just how trapped I really felt in the pent house. Speaking of we walked past a construction sight and I saw Astrotrain carrying a bunch of supplies when the big lug went and tripped. He fell so hard the ground shook and the skeletal framed building came crumbling down back to the bace.

We pause for second to watch commotion when I herd the triple changer whisper under his breath,

“Opps...”

“Astrotrain you idiot!” I flinched when a voice started yelling but I stepped back when I saw it the green mech yelling... Springer, leader of the Wreckers he stomped past me making me grab on to Jazz’s arm as a fright response. I looked up to see him looking at Springer he had completely ignored me.

“Can’t you do anything right! For Primus sake, I was gone for what? 2 nanosecond!” He charged through in front of the big purple mech. Astrotrain got up to his knees and looked down at the green mech with pleading optics and a frightened look on his face.

“I-I’m so sorry, I tripped t-that’s all, I didn’t mean no harm!” Astrotrain voice glitched

“How many warnings Con?!” Springer demands, there was a sudden buzz noises in the air. My optics widened recognizing the sound from the prison. After a long loud charge Astrotrain started to panic.

“MASTER NO, WAI-“ He begun to plea before a horrible shock was sent through the collar making the mech scream in bloody horror. His optics flickered, his armour cracked and smoke pouring from between the plating. He crashed to the ground again. Astrotrain’s Vents huffing for cold air started crying about how sorry he was.

My tank turned and I felt sick, like really sick. But I couldn’t look away, I wished I had it in me to tell off Springer. But I can’t imagine what that heroic nonsense would land me with. I laughed at myself for the day dream. Jazz could do the same without as so much a warning.

No. That won’t happen, Jazz said he wouldn’t. All I needed to do was obey and I’d be fine. Like I said I can do it. First I have to drown my pride in spark wrenching terror and just remember this moment. Watching Springer shout his disgust at a helplessly crying mech.

Jazz never did anything like this to me so far. Pits he didn’t want me calling him so much as master. Then it occurred to me... I hadn’t even realize how tight I was hugging Jazz’s arm until he gripped my hand tighter and we started to walk away. I noticed for a split second Springer’s eye darted to me. The ice blew optics were filled with sworn hate and pure hatred.

I could have just as easily ended up in his hands hadn’t been for Jazz.

Jazz’s P.O.V

I hated how Springer gave such a public show, a little ego boosting pat on the back.

“Look at me, aren't I the best built shit cuz I can make a big boy like Astrotrain cry?”

I hate his training method most of all, poor Astrotrain has to suffer because his master wanted attention. Springer didn’t do it because he tripped that’s for sure...

I was gently reminded of Closelens’s trembling body hugging my arm for comfort. And like that I couldn’t stay mad... my pet holding on to me to protect him from the big bad wrecker, absolutely adorable.

His field was frightened and desperately clinging to me fearfully, I wanted to chuckle but didn’t want to scare him off. This meant wether he knew it or not, my training was working. He was prepared to lean on me for protection.

In this case literally.

He was released when I started to walk away he saw what I needed him to see. What others do to there slaves. Now he can be grateful about how I treat him, even if it was at poor Astrotrains expense. Closelens will get better, it’s only the second day.

By the time we got to the Park he was in a better state of mind I had set up the blanket of the ground and marvelled at Cyberton’s nature beauty, the rocks the foliage the natural oil fountains... But I needed to turn my attention back to my pet who was probably really running low. I slowly brushed his arm as delicately as I could.

“Closelens, are you ok?” I asked him, he was still thinking about Springer. I huffed grabbing his hands. “Look at me pet, I won’t hurt you for making mistakes like falling over I don’t expect you to be perfect.”

I hugged him close and brought him to my chest, he gave me a worried look. I smiled gently started stroking the side of his helm again. His red sang to me, they were beautiful. I think I know why.

There mine...

Helm to pled he belonged with me, there was just... something attractive about that, beautiful. He was solely mine and mine alone. And like that I was in the mood to play with him again. Springer would know what this feeling felt like because he didn’t care for Astrotrain unlike me.

“Jazz, I- uh I have a question,” he asked timidity

“Why don’t I do stuff like that to you.” I guessed it was about Astrotrain, Springer was pretty ruthless. Then the image of doing that to Closelens popped into my head.

His screaming for it to stop, the crying, the apology for whatever he did. It amused me, the idea of hurting him gave me a sudden rush of pleasure.

No I can’t.

“Not unless he does something to go against my wishes.” I told myself

I Play with him all I want but I refused to physically hurt him to get my buzz.

“I don’t want to hurt him” I lied to myself. I do want to hurt him. I wanted to make him drop to my pleads beg for mercy.

I’m sick. What’s wrong with me?

No, I’m in control. No one else just me. His life is in my hands I can’t, I’d never forgive myself if I lost him.

“No, it’s about last night actually...” he said taking me by surprise. My smile dropped my chest tightened in concerned. I vented slowly to prepare myself for what he may ask... I...

Oh no, Oh no, Oh no-

I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it. I brought him out he to talk about it but...

heh

I don’t know if I can do it. Why is this sooo hard, I cringed at myself. Pull yourself together mech! I yelled at myself and kept my voice In a calm tone.

“Go ahead,” I said praying to Primus he wasn’t going to ask-

“You told me not to call you Master last night. But you referred to yourself as such this morning, why?” He asked looking up at me

Oh.

Thank Primus, this ones easy. Good, I didn’t want to talk about-

Closelens’s P.O.V

Jazz’s Field was going crazy with hate, discus, self dough, fear and raw hatred. But it quickly calmed down.

“That’s a silly question, why is that.” He said as calmly as ever, but his face shifted and looked apologetic. “So sorry there Closelens, know you asked first-“

“No no, that’s fine. It’s just that... all the other cons we past on the street. And the street from that street... all over the city in fact. They all call there Autobot’s ‘Master’. And same with Astrotrain and Springer,” I said explained in full. I do have fantastic hearing, it’s how I was able to here him moving around in his room this morning despite it being very far away from the living room. And I had been wondering how other Cons spoke to there masters after everything that went on with the purple triple changer. The building could bounce sound around so I could hear better then in the pent house. All of them were dead quiet being yelled at or ridiculed. I knew Jazz liked me holding him so why would I let go. Besides it take a hole other level concentration to expand my hearing. That way I won’t have to focus on where I was walking.

Jazz was right this morning. I’m not stupid, I do have skills and it’s about time I put them to work. I can’t just turn off my brain and blindly obey without thoughts. Jazz keeps calling me pet because that’s what he wants, Not a drone. I really got to stop resisting him so much. He isn’t going to hurt me. I need to REALLY start playing and not just assume a losing position because it’s Jazz’s.

“Oh my, you must have good hearing,” he chuckled not just amused, but curiously. There is a bit of sour to it made obvious by his next words. “What other tricks can you do?”

He was trying to belittle me for knowing stuff he didn’t, even if it was about me. I needed to tread carefully so I just laughed as if he wasn’t half serious about it.

And like that he plopped out a energon cube from sub space.

“How’s your tank?” He asked voiding my question again. He wanted to degrade me if I wasn’t going to bend to him. I just looked at him, his smile never looked more fake.

“But I asked-“ I started with caution before Jazz just slammed the door.

“After I’m done feeding you pet,” He said slightly more hostile gripping my audio fin a bit to tight as my first and last warning. I froze.

No stop,

Stop everything.

Stop trying to play his sick game. It’s not a game, I could die. My life is literally at risk. He could do what The wrecker did to Astrotrain and soooooo much more. There’s a reason he was reason mechs would offline themselves rather then end up in my position. I’m a slave no player. No power, I was stupid stupid stupid-

But thank Primus Jazz just left it at that, his touch became gently again. I missed it for the .5 nanosecond it was replaced with some hurtful. He pulled my back against his chest one arm around my waist and the energon cube to my lips. I was trapped against him, his knees shifted around me with no way of escaping. My vents huffed as I leaned back into his chest, giving up entirely. I drank from his hand like a good pet, he said nothing but I could feel his optics on me. His smile real and cruel, I don’t see it but I could feel it He made a suddenly started humming slowly in my audio. My energon turned to ice...

The mech was evil.

No I couldn’t escape to another company, having a conversation down the way. No my audios would pick up his humming first and foremost. I was completely trapped with him, in this reality. Forced to drink too sweet energon that burned the back of my intake. Speaking of...

I should have kept my mouth shut.

I tried to play no look what happened.

I can’t outsmart him, now he was upset and making me pay dearly for it. Primus I wanted to tell him I was sorry. I knew my place and won’t challenge him ever again. He pushed me back under his heel, now he was just grinding it in place. And I only had myself to blame...

When I was done he didn’t need to say anything. I knew what he wanted. I felt his order, I felt his demands. And like a “good mech” I’d obey. I shifted slightly in his embrace as he took the empty cube down. Rapping both arms around me, placing his head on my shoulder. He continued to slowly hum with a smile.

He wins.

“Thank you Jazz, it was delicious.” I folded


	7. Ch 7: And I’m feeling good

Chapter 7

And I’m feeling good

Jazz’s P.O.V

My spark ache in un-refine joy. This submissiveness of his stance and frame the surrender in his voice. This is why I do what I do. He was smart to recognize his mistake and made dame sure to correct it before I had to. His effort to please me would not go unnoticed and over time, that will become reward enough but for now-

I grabbed a treat from the bag at random and held it out in front of him. I don’t say a word I just kept humming in his ear. Keeping him here, I didn’t want my pet’s mind wondering off on me.

This time Closelens knew not to take it, see and he said he wasn’t smart. He parted his lips for me and let me put the treat in his mouth. He didn’t chew it like I told him last time. I was happy with how well he was learning. I smiled putting him close with both arms and letting myself lean on a tree behind me and rested my head at the bace of his neck cables. I decided to run my dentals across one with a nibble. Closelens panicked, frightened I’d really bite, he tried to weakly pull away slightly. But I had him and he wasn’t going nowhere. Once he relaxed himself again as I decided to sing for him.

“Birds flying high, you know how I feel-“ I sang to I’m softly tapping my plead to make sure I kept it at a slow pace. “Sun in the sky, you know how I feel. Breeze driftin’ on by, you know how I feel.”

He serenaded himself into my field letting me taking away his fright, letting me take away everything. I’ve been told my voice is really nice to listen too.

Heh, funny.

If people knew half the truth. My voice could condemn a person to death, not because it’s so good, no...

“It’s a new dawn, It’s a new day, it’s a new life-“ it’s because I can kill people with it. “For me, and I’m feeling good.”

I’ve only known about one other person with this... ability. He’s a Deception named Tarn, the leader of the DJD. He’s and I are a lot alike, We’re both highly respected by our leaders. We enjoy torturing others in horrible ways, we are both considered highly dangerous killers, we love music... The only big difference aside from badges and one is currently without a voice box and is to be executed for war crimes. No

I don’t use it. This gift is too powerful. I don’t show it off, EVER.

I could kill anyone I’d like, just convince the spark to give up. For anyone to simply stop living.

I stroked Closelens neck and face. He was so cute all relaxed like this, I could barley hear his vents going.

Music is meant to do this, it’s meant to be a source of joy and comfort.

Music wasn’t me to be weapon, Not in my optics at least.

“Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don’t you know.”

Actually there’s another really big difference. Everyone know Tarn is crazy sick in the head. No one but my victims Ratchet and Prime know about me. Maybe Prowl but I’m not convinced he know how I feel. Hell even I’m not 100% sure. Knowing I’m messed in the head doesn’t actually help, and yes I have been in therapy but I couldn’t tell them how I really felt either. I don’t want to get locked up or my voice removed. I love singing to much to ever give that up.

“Sleeping in peace when the day is done, that’s what I mean-“

Everything changes with time, I don’t think the war would ever end. And I feel awful about missing it. Everyday was the same and I had felt like I no purpose anymore. I wasn’t alone in this, Everyone was feeling it.

That at made me secretly grateful for getting Closelens, he gave me something to focus on and forget the war. I had issues thinking of him a just another Con we needed to string up. It’s why I think I can forgive him, he’s not a bad mech. He just chose the wrong side.

I leaned my head into him more. Taking in his peace, it was a nice change of pace. Kinda like what earth was.

I only now realize how much I miss earth, it truly was my home away from home. The unappreciated classic among Cybertronians. They only ever saw it as a mud ball shaped battle field that we were trying not to ruin. Covered in life forms they didn’t bother to try to understand like I did.

“Stars when you shine, you know how I feel-“

I was on earth half a century longer then anyone else, I saw them at there best and worst. They weren’t no different then us. It’s why I’ll never forgive the Cons for trying to hurt my little mud ball.

I felt a sudden angry as the battle of New York pinged in my head, the aftermath the devastation. The true fear in the humans eyes, it hurt. To be looked at like that. Like real monsters. But who was I to blame them, we destroyed there homes there lives nothing will ever be the same.

“Oh Freedom is mine and I know how I feel,” I sang “it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life—“

I failed to feel Closelens’s hand fall at my inner thigh.

How could they hurt them, these helpless beautiful creature that we trampled on and I hated the Cons for it. The war should have stayed in Cybertron.

“it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life,” I took a pause. “And I’m feeling good.”

I looked down at Closelens resting in my arms, his looked completely at peace. He looked like he fell into recharge. I smiled down at him.

He served Megatron. He wanted the humans dead just like the rest of the Cons did.

Could I forgive him...

Suddenly I noticed something was off, His Field. He was in recharge. I snickered to myself, I actually sung he to sleep. I continue to pet him as his fans were set to a low hum. Looking down on him I still couldn’t bring myself to hate him. Maybe because he wasn’t there or cuz I could only imagine what Springer was doing to Astrotrain.

Making a show out of him...

And it wouldn’t be just a beating, it never was. It’s why I got him out of there. He didn’t need to see it...

My tank tumbled and I grabbed Closelens for support. This moment, right now made me grateful for him. He was my perfect distraction, I felt needed. That without me his little world would have been destroyed by people like Springer who don’t see the responsibility to having someone under there care. And for that I’d never forgive them. We should be better then this.

Optimus couldn’t get these guys out of are hands fast enough.

But selfishly I didn’t want to let him go. Closelens was mine. He brought me more joy in the first day and a half then the last 15 months. I couldn’t be more grateful.

So I continued to sing for him.

I sat there for hours, I drank my energon cube and just enjoyed the company. I Went through some of my favourite songs with him and just let the two of us be at peace.

That’s When a familiar face noticed us.

“Jazz?” I looked up to see Ratchet. “ I thought I heard you, what are you doing out here?”

“I’m just here for some quality time with my little pet,” I said brushing my hand along his arm. He was still happily in ignorant recharge, his Field even suggested he might be dreaming.

“Oh?” He gave me a accusing look. I couldn’t blame him, we were in a mighty romantic position. Him lying on my chest between my knees. Me holding him from behind. “Couldn’t Do it in the privacy of your own home?”

“Get your processor out of the gutter, I’m not Springer. I assume that’s why you’re here?” I guessed, the wrecker wasn’t exactly gentle. My mine pinged with anger.

“Yep, we needed help getting him to the hospital, Firstaid is with him now. We needed to put him under force recharge just to get him to stop screaming. He’s fine now, I just needed a brake...” The doctor said, Ratchet had to heal everyone’s problems but I never really thought about how much this was affecting him. All these good mechs being able to vent of 4 million years of pure hell out on the losers. Ratchet being forced to clean up afterwards. It really wasn’t fare. He kept all our aft’s alive, he should be being treated like a king. Not be given more work.

I have always respected Ratchet. He didn’t hurt people but he also took no scrap either. He was solid like that.

Heh

He was such a saint he took in Soundwave and all his brats and put them in honest payed work in his hospital.

“So you came out here eh?” Is hummed

“Yeah and when I saw you here I thought I’d swing bye.” The doctor said he looked at Closelens resting “Is he ok?”

“Yeah, I just can’t bring myself to wake him.” I said looking back down at him as he shifted slightly.

“Careful with him, his... his model doesn’t have much in the way of armour,” Ratchet said nicely clearly concerned for him. Like I said before Ratchet knows what I’m like. He had to clean up prisoners after going rounds with me. He knows what happens when I’m at work, he was the one who convinced me to start talking to a therapist named Rung. But it I stopped going 6 weeks in.

“This isn’t like the war Ratchet, besides, I like him,” I said in my sadistic tone that even make Ratchet uncomfortably, but The doc bot just glared. He had every right to be sceptical. “Relax, I know what I’m doing.”

“I know you do,” the red and white bot said with a nod. Ratchet looked exhausted, like he hadn’t had recharge in a while. Stress. But I had a thought.

“Hey Rach, tomorrows your off right? Why don’t you stop by my place and we’ll make a night out of it,” I offered with a smile.

“I-“ He started. Primus I knew what he was going to say “I can’t cuz (insert excuses here)”

“Before you say no, let me just say that we don’t need to drink or anything. I’m just saying you look like you need to wind down, that all.”

“But Firstaid-“

“Can hold the fort himself, Ratchet your killing yourself...” I said thoughtfully. He just shifted his gaze more towards the ground. He slowly exhaled rubbing his optics. Clearly having himself a reflection.

“Fine, nothing two crazy alright,” He said with a warning point. I held up my hands showing I’m unarmed with a innocent smile

“Just the two of us,” I said when I’d just remember the mech against me. “And Closelens.”

“Fine, when should I swing over.” Ratchet asked

“When ever you want,” I said

“Right, I should go back before Astrotrain wakes up again, oh and thanks Jazz.” He said with a thoughtful smile. I simply gave him a thoughtful nod before he left.

I decided it was best me and Closelens were off. I put the empty cubes and treats in my sub space, Popping one in my mouth before so. Gently rapped up Closelens before I scooped him up bride style in my arms and started to make for home.


	8. Ch 8: Small Talk

Chapter 8

Small talk

Closelens’s P.O.V

I was embarrassed.

Not only did I fall into recharge but I also needed to be carried back to Jazz’s place. I had woken up on the couch while Jazz writing a list of chores for me to do. He said I looked cute when I slept.

In this place really couldn’t have shame. At the moment I was just starting at Jazz awkwardly as he continued typing on his datapad.

I looked over at the door

5942... that was the code to get out of here...

It was tempting but I couldn’t just run without a plan I needed the collar off. Don’t know who else lives in building? All I know is that is a possibility to get caught by someone like Ironhide.

I repeat

Ironhide.

I came back to reality when I herd Jazz get up and come towards me. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. If this was back at my lab I would have ran for my life, I would have done everything to get way. But that wouldn’t be acceptable here. He very casually leaned on the side of the couch putting his hand on my shoulder.

I starred dumbly up at him,

“Yes, Jazz?” I asked he chuckled before stroking my audio fin again.

“I want to prepare you for something,” he said calmly

Well, if that that not vaguely ominous.

“A dear friend of mine will be coming over soon, I know you haven’t really bin around other Autobots but I still expect you to be your best behaviour...” he said still friendly. I simply nodded

“Of corse,” I said nervously playing with my servos. His touch stayed gently.

I... I think I can handle it. I mean he told me that I’d need to be good for guests before. Telling me if I misbehaved and made him kick out all his friends just to deal with me, he’d be vary unhappy.

That unsettled me a lot. A Jazz with no smile but a livid face, still I’d be unable to read his optics because of the visor. I’d think I’d just die on the spot.

I didn’t want to think of it.

What he might do to me.

I always imagined him to be a hand on sort of mech.

Pits he already is. He loved to touch me and hold me, as violated as I felt I was grateful for nothing painful as of yet. He always said that too... not today or not yet.

I even bet he was excited about it.

His touch was always so gently, those black servos tearing my armour off ripping through cables going for my optics. Tearing out my vocals components so my screaming or bagging wouldn’t annoy him. Hurting my protoform. Starve me into stasis. I’d think he’d enjoy the creative freedom rather then using some shocking divisive.

I’d listen Primus above I don’t want any of that.

“Good mech, think of this like review before my party at the end of this week.” Jazz said “I want you to offer him energon if he’s out, you sit on the floor next to or in front of me. Be friendly but not annoying or intrusive. If he engages you in conversation don’t be shy, And please don’t start crying or grovelling. Ok,” Jazz explained. “Nothing would be more humiliating.”

Oh really?

I bet I could name a few...

No, don’t be difficult. Jazz’s is nice enough to give you instructions before instead of him just excepting me to know and hurt me as some power show like what the Wrecker did.

I sighed to myself.

It not worth it. Especially cuz Jazz was already hand fuelling me, and especially with what happened at the park. I’m not in the mood for that again. Obedience was simpler. But to make sure he knew I was paying attention I decided to ask a simple question. He’d probably like the participation.

“Ok I got it but is there anything you want me to call you in public?” I asked innocently

“Well aren’t you a smart one,” He said with a amused smile stroking the side of my face. “No your still to call me Jazz but you call anyone else Sir or Ma’am. When I start taking you to meetings then you call me Master, just to get that out of the way. You got me?”

I just nodded.

“Nice, well he won’t be here for some time. And I don’t really feel like writing that list anymore... and a good pet like you deserve another treat,” he said making me freeze up. He leaned over me grabbing my shoulders and pinned me down to the couch. Making me squeak in surprise, he laughed.

“Your so cute Closelens,” he purred before straddling me. I felt my temper rise, I still had no clue how to respond to this? What can I say?

“I-I-I thought I needed to be on my knees for this?” I said confused. He just evilly smiled down with a dark chuckle and put his finger to my lips the same one holding the energon candy. The other holding me down.

“Shhh, I make the rules pet now say aww for me.”

I hated this so much. I hated how trapped I felt and like before I hated how I had no way to combat this would it ending horrible. I was paralyzed to stop him and it hurt my spark to obey. Just letting him do as he pleased with me hurt...

I know he won’t do nothing ‘inappropriate’ cuz he promised. But I felt comfortable being like this, it still felt inappropriate. I felt dirty and used. And I know he loved every nanosecond of it. And it killed me instead that he did.

Jazz only did this because he wanted to see my reaction, see what my Field would do.

I hated being a game but dame it what else was I good for now. I opened my mouth making that ‘stupid’ Aww noise like he said and he put it in.

Ya know what?

I even debated chewing it just to see how HE’D react.

But I remembered

Through my anger I remembered. I know his reaction would not be good. He’d not be happy. And there would be hell to pay and in such a compromising position. I had no place to risk it. I had to be smart, I can’t take any chance.

Cuz ‘that’ would be actively disobeying, he would punish me.

He’d be happy to do so as well. I let my frame relax against the couch and my shivering frame slowed. Once it had melted he gave me the clear to swallow, I just closed my optics and let go.

“You know pet, this... this is my favourite part,” Jazz whispered

“Why?” I whispered back

“Your field, it fight it kicks it struggles. Then you submit, it’s my favourite part,” he brushed past my audios.

“Why?” I asked out loud

“Because, it’s fun,” Jazz said. He leaned in and whispered “don’t forget you manners.”

“Thank you Jazz, it was delicious.” I said robotically I had no energy left.

Suddenly I herd a knock at the door.

“Go get it,” Jazz said letting me out from under him. And I ran, not to get the door so much as to simply get away from him. I punched in the code and opened the door for...

Oh Primus

It was Autobot Ratchet... he-he...

Ratchet’s P.O.V

The kid looked ready to pass out. The kid practically had a spark attack the moment he saw me. He looked like he wanted to brake out into tears at the sight of me alone.

He bowed his head as to not challenge my optics.

I’d seen this before.

Every time I needed to patch up some poor broken slave. It’s why I was grateful for Soundwave. He had a natural gift for soothing the hurt. It helped while being intimating he was easy to listen to.

If a frightened Con was told by Soundwave that everything was fine, Of corse they’d believe him. No one question Soundwave.

I hated being looked like this, it was fine in battle. No one challenged me, I knew I could work in peace but in peace times.

It hurt.

Years of helping People still saw me as a warrior vs a medic. It was akin to seeing frightened humans, or my more traumatized cases. No one should be scared of a doctor, least of all in peace times.

The mech kept his field so close I’d almost be convinced he didn’t have one. But I herd his frightened small voice.

“P-please come in sir,”

Primus Jazz, what did you do to him?

“Hey Rach, I’m glad you could make it!” Jazz said all excited. I watched the little decepticon walk off to Jazz’s energon refinery to grab some cubes. I just decided to ignore him. I made my way to a chair on the other side of Jazz. Assuming the bot would prefer being closer to his master for protection and what not. When I heard a sudden crash...

The little boy had tripped and fallen face first into the ground. The cubes had rolled from each hand. He looked up looking now embarrassed and sacred. I got up to help the bot up, when I reached my hand out he flinched but saw I was only trying to help him up.

“Th-thank you sir,” He bowed his helm again but took my hand and the two cubes. I had on a sympathetic expression with a week smile.

“No problem kid,” He said nicely feeling no hate in my field making him more relaxed. He set the cubes down only then to sit on the floor next to Jazz lags. There was plenty of room still on the couch for at least 2 more bigger people but I wasn’t going to argue.

He clearly wanted to show him off as his pet, made clear by his next actions.

Jazz hand stroking the kids helm, like full petting making me shift uncomfortably.

The hole pet situation made me feel uncomfortably but the smaller bots field did relax a grate deal more. Perhaps seeing it as a reward or grateful it wasn’t painful.

I treated a lot of the prisoners Jazz would deal with after Prowl had failed to get information out of them. Jazz was very easy going for the most part and from all outwards appearances.

I was worried for this Con. Even if Jazz did get better.

Ratchet took a drink of the energon and looked back at Jazz.

“Don’t be rude pet, introduce yourself,” Jazz said “Sorry he hasn’t had a chance to be around other Autobots.”

“So sorry Jazz. Hello sir, my name is Closelens. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” the microscope said with a glitchy voice.

“Likewise, I’m Ratchet.” He said before it got uncomfortably quiet...

Jazz’s P.O.V

I think it was archived hurting me to watch Closelens make small talk.

But Primus he was trying.

Soon I saved him the trouble and let him just stay quiet.

Me and Ratchet talked about what was going on at the hospital, his work was chaotic but still he loves his Job. I’m not sure who has the more toxic relationship Ratchet and the hospital or me and Closelens.

He spoke of Soundwave with so much pride in how well he was doing. How his brats were making themselves as useful as possible. And I couldn’t help but feel guilty.

Here was a mech who had seen more gore then any cybertronian alive or dead making the world safer for such a scary mech and his kids. Just cuz he could.

Me? Sure I’m a better master then most but I was still using Closelens for my own amusement.

I’m selfish...

I wish I had the strength to be a good person and do the right thing but I don’t. I’m not going to change because I’m a horrible.

I felt Closelens lean againsts me still shivering, he wasn’t scare so much as nervous. His field clung to me. He was at a lost and it only got worse as Ratchet kept bringing my pet back into the spotlight. In a well meaning attempt to normalize him in our conversation.

“What kind a things did you work on during the war?” Ratchet ask making my pet field panic like nothing else. It was cute how shy he was.

Closelens P.O.V

Primus hates me.

If the doctor knows what I did he’s going to find a hole knew way to peel my T-cog like a banana. I was one of those dirty no good scientist who made those disgusting chemical weapons.

Maybe this was all just to punish me for it.

I deserve ever shredded of bad coming my way. I didn’t want Jazz to find me rude.

“I-I made genetic modifications to things like... sicknesses and made them into weapons,” I said just closing my optics. I killed millions... literally millions. I was only able to avoid it for so long because of how unassuming I was. I should be with someone like Tarn on death row. The only reason I’m not Is cuz my senior officer is there instead. But I’m the one who built them. I don’t even think about how awful it was as I made these plagues untreatable unless you were a Con.

Like that Jazz stoped petting my helm...


	9. Ch 9: Run

Chapter 9

Run

The conversation didn’t go back to normal for a while and Jazz didn’t touch me until it was time for Ratchet to head home, I was not spoken to and I felt no need to get involved in any more conversations.

Jazz wasn’t happy with me.

I could feel it in his field his posture and expression. He and I needed a talk, a real talk. For the very first time since I broke down when I first got here. No more games...

I hade a lot to say and less and less time to really think about how I’d say it.

Oddly I wanted to talk to Jazz, I wanted to tell him the things I did and how they affected me. I wanted to explain the guilt about... not feeling guilty over the horrible crimes I’ve committed in the war. All behind others, I never so much as saw the victims less drop the bombs. Yet I felt nothing all that bad about it. And I hate it...

But Jazz won’t want to listen to me.

To him I’m not even Cybertronian...

I watched his friendly tone stay on Ratchet as he waved good night as I closed the door. Slowly as if to keep from facing Jazz for at least a nanosecond longer. When I closed the door I heard Jazz move, not forward or anything just shifting his position.

His arms crossed and non smiling face told me to get over there. Without words I didn’t hesitate, I kept my helm down. Not cuz I wanted to show him some submissions in a last ditch effort to please him no...

I honestly don’t think I could.

“Closelens,” Jazz said with no emotion making it arguably worse. I can’t read him, I don’t know how bad I messed up this time. Or wether or not I should be bagging or something. Jazz was a terrifying mech when he was happy. This, this as not happy Jazz. I was frozen.

I was hopeless lost.

And like that I dropped to my knees and broke again.

If Jazz was going to punish me for my part in the war I don’t think I should fight him. I’ve actually thought about this a lot. What would I do if Jazz went through with hurting me?

Run or Fight.

I thought those were my only options. But I had discovered 2 more...

Bag or take it.

I made my choice, I just chose to sob at my masters feet. I chose to use no words and let my field speak for me. It ripped and warped out of control. My emotions sharing a brake down. I hated myself. I’m useless scrap, I’ve always been. I’ve only been ever good at science because I was told to. I love art, I’m bad at it. But that’s what I wanted to do.

But I was never gifted with a normal Alt mode, no. Scientist was forced on me wether I liked it or not. And just cuz all I ever wanted was Freedom I’m now a slave. And unlike back then I didn’t have a drive to fight back against my oppressors. No this wasn’t any faceless entity.

Now, it was Autobot Jazz and he was going to hurt me...

Not just hurt me but brake me in ways beyond my wildest imagination. All I could do about it was nothing. I wish I had gone through with putting myself offline back two weeks after the Decepticons rises to power. Back when I was put back into being a scientist vs a real soldier.

But like now I didn’t fight for myself.

No I went back into my lab crying, hiding from the scary big bots who came from construction, mining, gladiators, sweepers and millions more. All thinking I should be happy cuz I had money. They made me a cowered and the worst part is, I let them.

I made awful weapons and had them deployed on people. They took my chance to fight for myself and made me the thing I was trying to escape.

Now I was going to pay for my sins. Primus I wanted to look up at my Master and beg. Show him my side. But what good would that do? He’d only brake me harder if he had a grudge to hold on me later. I wanted to die.

“I was just following orders” I wanted to cry.

“I’d never do it if I could go back in time” I wanted to lie.

“I didn’t think of the devastation I’d caws” I wanted to explain.

“I-I’m different, I just want to make you happy” I wanted to tell the truth.

What good would that do? I deserve whatever he dishes out. A spineless cowered like me deserves everything coming. Jazz was just here to deliver, did I deserve any less?

Jazz was pissed with good reason but he didn’t flow from him. No he kept his field tight.

“Stand up,” he ordered coldly I looked up him in horror.

“Jazz?” I said in a pleading voice

“I said stand up!” He said harsher making me flinch.

Oh my god I’m dead. He’s going to kill me.

My mind raced with prayers with through of how this might play out Jazz’s visor was dark. I shivered looking up at him like my judge jury and executioner.

“Run to Ironhide.” He said coldly not angry I blinked confused “Run out the door, run to the elevator, go down one floor and run to Ironhide.”

“Jazz?” I asked getting up all confused and scared. The black and wight mech said nothing, he starred at the ground holding back whatever pain and anger he’d love to unleash.

I took the silent hint and ran, my shaky hands punched in the code wrong twice. But I got the door open and I ran...

I felt panicked even if Jazz didn’t follow me but I wanted to be sure. The idea of Jazz chasing me was a horrible thought. I got the the elevator pressing the button multiple times for the floor under us.

How was this going to work, what did it mean? Was Ironhide going to hurt me? I’d honestly rather be torn limb from limb then whatever Jazz was going to do. Or worried he was planning to do.

The real question is why let me run? Did he really think he was going to hurt me that badly? or did he just need space to think. No matter now. The elevator stopped. I opened the door to see another door. Coming up to it timidly I reached out, my hands shaking as I did. I pulled my hand back close to my chest tears came from my optics.

Why?

I ask that question a lot I’ve noticed but sometimes that’s to only logical thing to ask. Everything was a mess and all I could ask was why. But I didn’t deserve better... I didn’t want to talk to some stranger Autobot. I sure as hell didn’t want to go in his home unsupervised. I had no rights other then my obligation to serve Jazz. What if he just drags me back, then what?

Like with Jazz and Ratchet I know what they look like, same with Ironhide. He was a big dude. And frighteningly strong.

I knocked on the door.

I found myself in instant regret, I was scared stiff. On of the strongest Autobot was coming. I shivered and jumped when the door opened. I took a step back frightened, I didn’t bother to hide it. It was already sending off a crazy field it didn’t matter, I’m just glad Jazz wasn’t going to be the one to Kill me.

The large red mech looked down on me and looked around for anyone else.

“Please H-help, me,” I whispered. To who? I don’t know, anyone who could hear me.

“Hello,” Ironhide said I just bowed my helm respectfully.

“M-my ma-master told me to come here, I’m so s-s-sorry sir. I-I-I’m not sure why,” I said trying to explain myself to the large Autobot.

“Don’t be, I don’t be come in,” he said in a friendly voice he waved me on in his place. It was enormous. He had the hole floor to himself and he kept guns everywhere. Probably no rounds but it’s not like I could lift half of these big guns. Or have half the bearings or the stupidity to try. Primus knows who he knows. The place was a mess, but not in a dirty way, just in a disorganized.

“Hey FT! I found a straggler!” Ironhide called out making me squeak.

“That’s nice- hide, we don’t have any more sodium zinc rods!” A female voice shouted back from a long way off.

“But... how I just got some?” He asked confused

“I don’t know how, but perhaps my new spark heat generator and armour might know a thing or two,” she sang

“I’m sure I’d be excited if it made sense, but come on out here and see our guest,” He said in a very casual way that made me feel non threatened.

“Fine,” she grumbled

Then a the femme came into view. Not only was She was smaller then me, she was a no joke Mini-Con. She still had on her M and everything, grated next to it was a Decepticon logoand she had a collar to match mine.

However I’d think she’d appreciate that I know that a Mini-Con is short for Miniature Convoy not Mini Decepticon. As Mini-Cons are a separate faction based on race. You’d be hard pressed to find someone who did know that however...

“Hello,” she said pulling up her knight like face guard. She was a forest green brown and yellow colour. Her arms were huge, she was likely a phase sixer class construction Mini-Con. Strongest her kind can offer. Meaning she likely a heavy hitter in the war. Or someone’s powerful weapon.

Funny thing is, the Autobot fought along side the Mini-Cons for civil rights. They had been considered disposables. But if she was a Con then it’s tragic she ended back up in slavery. She kept her bro ish stance.

“Fullthrotle, meet Closelens... right?” Ironhide asked

I gave a still frightened nod,

“Have you fuelled yet?” The big red mech asked handing me a cube. I don’t want to be hand feed by Ironhide or anything like that so I said yes. I heard him sit on his couch and drinking his energon cube.

“Wana fetch me another one Con,” he asked Fullthrotle just walked pass him.

“Frag off,” she said to my shock.

How was she not frightened? This mech was third in command of the Autobot! He could destroy a tiny mech like her without a thought. But he watched her swing one of the large gun around over her shoulder to bring to her table.

Dame she’s strong.

“Why are you so mean to me?” He asked hurt

“I don’t know, why are you so lazy?” She shot back

“Slob!” He shouted back

“Thick hide!”

I was in Aww of this femme... she was insulting the mech to his face. Without so much as a second glance. I didn’t even want to think of what Jazz would do if I’d ever said anything resembling her remarks.

Yes, yes I do.

I’d just not be living simple as that... I’d hope.

“Glitch,” he shouted in protest. She just laughed at him.

Jazz would never let that sort of behaviour fly, I’d hate to think what he’d do to her.

“Hey, sit down.” He said to me patting the seat next to him. I rushed to meet him. Sitting down he have me a concerned look. “You wana talk about anything, or ever need a place just to get away from Jazz for a while, my door is always open. Ok kid.”

Why would he offer a place to hide. Nothing here made sense here, why was he sooo lenient? We Cons are just toys now...

“Yes sir, t-thank you,” I said quietly

And with that I had watch there playfully back and forth of colourful... terms of endearment, I think. Me, I was trying to pick myself back up again. Mentally...

I was going to fix this, I had to. I never want to come here again. If I’m here that means I screwed up because -don’t get me wrong, they were nice but... I need to make Jazz happy and I’ll be fine. Even if I haven’t disobeyed him I need to make him not regret getting me...

My mind went a hole other shade of frightened.

What if he doesn’t want me anymore? Will he sell me away? Can you even do that?

I felt sick, even as Ironhide gave me a place to sleep, he cleaned of the couch upon discovering the guests room was on fire. I couldn’t even bring myself to laugh... there was nothing funny at all.

It felt wrong. I was being crushed by the anticipation for seeing him again. What he might say or do, it was cruel... it was a kin to being on death row...

Even if the two were sickeningly sweet.

This was hell...


	10. Ch 10: How to forgive -short

Chapter 10 -short

How to Forgive

Jazz’s P.O.V

I watched Closelens run away, I felt his panic in his frame as if his life depended on it for straight in a hour of need.

Was I angry?

I don’t know.

I felt betrayed. I thought he was my perfect little pet but I stupidly never considered what his role was a Decepticon scientist. Really I was the fool for not thinking...

But I know the weapons he made, I saw the rust eat my fellow Autobot alive setting in so fast they were still alive, mouths open in silent scream. Optics starring into the face of oblivion, You can’t unsee that!

The sentries of horrors caused by mechs like him, to small or weak to make into soldier.

No there was real energon on Closelens’s hands, he deserves whatever I do to him and he knows it! Or else why keep it hidden.

But I remember his optics... his red beautiful optics. They looked up to me for support protection, giddiness all the things I can do to make his life just a little bit easier he looks at like gifts from Primus. Any misery he felt was my doing not that of others.

But I watched Him as he thought himself at my pleads expecting a execution. Millions of lives worth of revenge, he May or may not believe in Hell but he believes that why I’m here. To bring him the judgment day he feel he deserves. And you know what... maybe he doses

But... what would Optimus do...

Whenever I’m confused I always ask myself that. The mech has never did me wrong. I my not believe in Primus but I believe OP is special. No one could replace him no matter how much Hotrod wants to be.

I sighed to myself. It’s no reason I’m not Prime. I’m selfish... I’d be hurting this mech for no reason. Because revenge was never a reason to hurt someone. The war is over, he’s clearly no threat. And he...

He needs me to be the bigger person...

He needs me to tell him he can do this...

Closelens isn’t no killer... Primus knows I’ve made my tainted marks. I’d be a hypocrite if I’d hurt him but gave myself no shade.

This is why I always left the tuff choices to people I trusted and right now...

I’m the hole world to that little bot. The war is over, I’ll let him calm down at Ironhide’s for the night, give me more time to think of a proper way to react tomorrow.

Closelens never disobeyed me, I promised I wouldn’t hurt him otherwise. I’m no Springer and I’m no liar and I have nothing to prove. But me and him need to have a real mech to mech conversation. But that will wait for tomorrow...


	11. Ch 11: The Worst Person

Chapter 11

The Worst Person

Closelens’s P.O.V

I onlined when I heard a knocking at the front door, in a daze and without much thinking I got up but Suddenly Ironhide pulled me back and behind him. The intimidating mech was in a very protective stance, he opened to door with me peeking around his sides.

“Hello?” He said optics on the linear hallway to see Jazz. My entire frame was awoken by the fear I had last night. He came to take me back...

“Hey Hide, thanks for takin’ him in for me. But I’d like him back please,” Jazz said in a calm voice giving me a glance. I wanted to big con to tell him no and slam the door on his face. I have the audacity to daydream about that. But I couldn’t just hide behind my protector...

He made that clear.

“Alright, But are you ok Jazz? Like really ok?” He asked concerned. I guess they had some sort of deal where if Jazz thinks he’s going to hurt me he sends me down here. I mean Jazz is a expert fighter but againsts Ironhide and a Phase sixer Mini-Con... I don’t think so.

“I’m fine Big Red, I just... I got angry last night and... I think we have a lot to talk about,” Jazz said and like that my metal wall of protection was gone. My last defence against the monster, just moved aside as it dragged me back to it’s layer.

Jazz held out his hand,

“Closelens, lets go,” he said

The part of it that was crazy was, i wanted to go back. I wanted to explain myself I wanted his approval. I never wanted to make him mad or upset with me.

Was I terrified but I still, my spark was tugging and pulling in all ways. I wanted nothing to do with this mech but I know I can’t get away. I doubt Ironhide would challenge his superior for a stupid little microscope like me. I’m not worth that much. I wouldn’t even be worth much if he were to sell me to someone like the Wreckers as some toy to do as they please. That was a scary thought. Scarier yet...

I need Jazz

If he doesn’t like me anymore, I’ll know what the pits will be like before I go there. No more complaining about hand feeding. Jazz could really hurt me and Primus he really could start everywhere and make it awful.

I need to make him forgive me, I need to find a to make me useful.

I ran past his hand and rapped my arms around his waist and gave him a hug, he liked hugs! Right? I clearly startled him slightly. He seemed not sure what it do his field wasn’t sure how to handle this.

He patted me on the helm with a uneasy laugh.

It wasn’t real.

It scared me but I didn’t care, I need to please Jazz. simple as that. And Jazz seemed like a physical person. H-he should like my ideas!

And I had a plan now,

“Right, well see ya Hide,” Jazz said letting me hang off him. Ironhide waved us of. I grabbed his arm and hugged it like when we went to the park.

He liked it last time.

Jazz’s field was pretty much unreadable it made me very nervous bit

“I had a plan, he won’t be able to get rid of me!” I kept telling myself very pathetically.

But there were good signs, He didn’t push me away. He let me just hold him as we walked home, a sort distance of corse but it felt forever. The hole time I desperately picked at his field, face and posture for signs.

When we got home he had already left a cube lying out in the open, likely for me. If so I’m grateful he might not be starving me.

I gave him a look, but the non in response. Then I started to worry...

“Knees please,” he said calmly but I wasn’t stupid, he had his field so close to his frame. Likely some anger but I don’t know I can’t read it. But regardless I obeyed, I needed to.

“I must be good, he won’t get ride of me if good.” I said in my head as I started to fall apart on the inside. I started to feel sick. Primus help me...

He grabbed the cube and fed it to me without a word. He didn’t draw it out or touch me, which made me more alarmed. When he was done I sat there making a plan of attack.

“Pet, we need to talk...” he said making my tank turn.

Oh Primus it was worse... so much worse then I thought my plan needed to get into gear NOW.

“You see I-“ he stoped

I stoped him.

I had gotten up.

I rushed him.

I kissed him.

I kissed Autobot Jazz...

He froze for a moment as I planted a kiss as if my life depended on it, good chance it did. Jazz was startled and broke it by pushed me back. I looked at him with big scared eyes. He had been over turned by anger and before I could reached he back-handed me.

The sound echoed and It hit so hard it sent me back to the floor. It hurt like hell. But I was to scared to think about it as I looked back at Jazz... this could only be the start.

Jazz looked horrified, he shook his head rapidly.

“No, don’t do that! You never do that! Do you understand!” Jazz growled tightening his fists making me flinch heavily. I grabbed my other hand sending a quick prayer. My fingers locked tightly and froze as his visor bore down on me. My energon was ice and I felt gross, likely Jazz did too I’m sure.

Primus what have I done, He was soooo upset.

I just... I thought he’d like it. I started to cry again. I brought my head into a deep bow putting my helm to the floor. I vents panned as my anxiety took over. I messed up this time, I really REALLY messed up.

“I’m sorry Jazz I’m so so so sorry Jazz, I-i-I’m... I just... p-please I-“ my voice glitched out of control. Jazz suddenly grabbed both my hands and pulled me off the ground ruthlessly. He pulled me to his chest with no way out. I can’t fight him... I never could whatever he planned to do to me would not be avoided. And he made that as clear to me as it could get. I couldn’t even brace myself for the worst.

“Never again,” he said in a more... sad voice. “I’d never use you like that, I’d never take advantage of your position, you hear. Never.”

I was at a lost.

That was my only idea left, I had nothing else to use. Nothing of value, my worthless . Now my inner cracks made there way to the surface...

I shattered.

“Please don’t hate me,” I sobbed “I know what I did in the war, I’m a horrible person who doesn’t deserve any mercy. Least of all yours, you should string me up and... do whatever with me. I keep making mistakes and you keep giving me chances a-and I’m trying, Primus I’m trying,”

I know what I did was horrible, chemical warfare is the lowest of the low. And me dodging kept making it worse, I could only get lucky so many times. I’m a war criminal not just a prisoner. They don’t send prisoners of war to a place ran by Fortress Maximus, the only reason I’m not dead is because getting off on a technicality. Primus knows how I didn’t get beaten back there, I know the blanket wouldn’t protect me forever. And like that Bad karma had found me in the form of the scariest Autobot alive or dead. I’d be his Toy for the rest of time.

I compromised my morales because I was to frighten to stand against my own mistakes. I really came at Jazz as a peace of shareware. Hoping to sell myself out for mercy, now Jazz had to ware that sad, dirty kiss of shame forever, I’m a coward. I deserve everything I get...

I wish I would have lied, I should have said that I was a weapons engineer’s assistant. It would have sounded nicer...

No

Jazz is a interrogator, he would have called me out. Besides all he’d have to do is look me up to find my case. If he found out I was hiding it from him...

No, it’s best he knows.

This... this was going to get out regardless.

I’m not smart, good at science is not the same as being smart. I’m a idiot.

Suddenly Jazz hugged me. His strong arms around my arms and on my back he held me close against him as I cried and I cried hard.

“I’m the worst person in this room,” I sobbed he rubbed his hand against my back. When he started humming. I quieted down to hear him better but it didn’t stop the water works. “I couldn’t blame you if you sold me off,”

“It’s ok. It’s ok... I... it’s over now, you make me happy Closelens. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past it’s not my place to judge. I’m no Prime, and I don’t expect you to be perfect. Just be here. And No, I don’t hate you.” Jazz said slowly, thinking about his words. “I’d never hate you.” He knew what to tell me. But I didn’t feel any better. I still did all those horrible things. And I only now feel guilty! How? How could I ever be forgiven. He SHOULD hate me.

I do.

“I’ve always said that I won’t hurt you unless you disobey me, you told me the truth when lying would have been easier. I told you day one, when you asked me how to answer me. I value honesty. Your still mine and I promised I’d take care of you, regardless.” He said gently without a purr or a laugh. It was real...

“Thank you,” I whispered clinging to him, my frame was in shock but I felt a little more comfortable.

Jazz has never hurt me, he’s abusive but I think he really cares to.

“This isn’t forever, you hear.” Jazz said grabbing my helm making me look up at him. With his thumbs he brushed off the tears. His sweet smile tugged at my spark, he brought me against his chest again.

Jazz’s P.O.V

I wasn’t mad at him, let alone bring myself to hate him. Closelens was still innocent. And I don’t just think that because he’s small and cute. But the way he carried himself the way he handled his own guilt. His incredibly desperate attempt to appeal to me. I’d have laughed if I had been alone at the moment. But that would ruin it... my little Closelens was coming to trust me And after such short time.

Any good interrogator knows to let the victim dig there own grave. And that he did... Of corse I didn’t ask Fortress Maximus to look for a small feeble mech by accident. I knew he’d have dirt and I knew it be juicy. But I’ll say I didn’t expect it to be this bad.

Fortress Maximus asked if I wanted his files and of corse I said no. I may be a professional but where’s the fun in that.

Now that there was a status quo with me now he’d do everything to get back to it. The light touches the complements the occasional test treat he’d bed over backwards to avoid. He longed for that again. And now my happiness was his number one priority. Day one he was freaking out about the aspect of sleeping in my berth now he’d do it just to keep me happy.

I’d never, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t... flattered.

That kiss, as pathetic as it was and as horrified as I found it. In hindsight it was adorable. Same with me hugging his frightened frame, His self doubt, his paranoia I couldn’t help but be in love with this sensation. This moment right here his field wanting to be as close to me as physically possible, this made me feel...

He really wasn’t the worst one in this room,

no it’s still me...


	12. Ch 12: Sized Up

Chapter 12

Sized up

Jazz’s P.O.V

I wanted to take him to the Mall, it’s been a while and each month a shipment of earth music comes in and I need my fix. Plus having scared little Closelens cuddling me for protection against the big bad Autobot is just to precious to resist. So long as he doesn’t go around telling people that he made Cosmic Rust into the shape of bombs and has someone else throw them at us, we shouldn’t be fine.

Plus I don’t like being trapped in here for so long, I needed to stretch.

He could likely use it to, I mean yesterday was a little intense.

No point in getting angry at it. Plus this will be a experience for Closelens. Yes he’s been outside and I know he can behave himself with guest even if it was uncomfortable. but he’s never had to do both at the same time.

That will be fun.

Speaking of my pet, at the moment he was doing some cleaning chores. Dusting at the moment. It was cute watching him struggle to get the higher places. I did have cleaning drones for all the chores but I liked watching Closelens work for his keep. Pits, he was trying a lot harder then the cleaning drones do.

It helped that for the most part I liked to keep things organized so there was never that much to clean in the first place.

Between watching him I was working on my dada pad for Prime. He needed some information, and less to say I know how to dig dirt a lot better then most. Like how One of the reason why the Cons were slaves was because the state couldn’t support that many prisoners. They compared it to “handing out free energon.”

Honestly politics gave me a headache.

Just let them go was Primes big argument. That they deserved a right to live as they choose and other Primie stuff like that. I’m just here to help him build his case. I was always good at talking to people but not so much so that I’d feel comfortable making THE big speeches, Normal I was the one next to the big guy as he made the speeches, I adore OP.

I looked back over at Closelens Who was now standing on a short plead stool to reach a high shelf where he could only just reach it. I decided he deserved a brake and I was in a playful mood again.

“Closelens, I think that’s enough for now,” I said leaning back on the couch, he got down right away and moved quickly to put back his little array of cleaning supplies and come back. His field was more relaxed then normal which was good to see. But it was still the morning, he took some time to boot up all the way. He was still kinda dopey.

I pointed the ground in front of me he looked embarrassed but obeyed, it’s okay he’ll soon happily get on his knees for me.

He looked up at me with his adorable optics as I brought out a treat bag from my sub space. He’s been doing good all morning and I live for the little moments like this.

And to my surprise without even asking, he opened his mouth and made the ‘Aww’ noise.

Closelens P.O.V

Jazz was happy... oh he was sooo happy. He slipped the treat in my mouth with a big goofy Jazz grin. It still felt degrading I don’t think it ever won’t but needed to push off my pride. I can’t keep fighting him or feel sorry for myself, that won’t make things better. Jazz won’t hurt me, if I can be trained to be a pet in trade off for a easy go of it, than I... I think I do that. And the way his frame sent wave and wave again of unfiltered joy made me feel good. Giving that to him,

Jazz was pleased then I was safe. I can be good, but I really need to try.

Which is still Millions of miles away from yesterday’s disaster. But this really was the best case scenario, I mean I thought I was dead for sure. I thought I’d die, but he spared me. I can do this for him.

I don’t have to like it, but I can pretend.

I let the energon candy sit I’m my mouth and focused on enjoying it until Jazz gave me the next instruction.

”Obedience is easy” I told myself “this is simple and he is happy”

“Hey Closelens, were going out today. I’m taking you to the mall, .” He stroking the side of my face.

Now I was nervous. But it was fine, I want to get outside again. I haven’t seen regular daily life in a long time. Well over 4 million years.

“Swallow,” Jazz said in his smooth voice bringing me back into reality, I listened and followed his instruction. And unlike last time the candy didn’t taste so bitter.

“Thank you Jazz, it was delicious,” I said afterward, that on the other hand still did taste bitter. I don’t know how to make it feel any less degrading even if I was just going to roll with it. Speaking of rolling...

“Is it close, sorry I don’t have a good alt mode,” I said shyly trying to hide my shame in my field by pretending it was because I don’t turn into a mode of transportation. He bought it...

“Don’t be sorry, ever shape serves a purpose. And no it’s not to far,” he said giving me a small pat on the helm making me a little tense.

“No, let him. don’t difficult” I scolded myself. Jazz lent me a hand to get up. He made sure to tell me to stick with him and not wonder so I won’t get lost. We made our way down the elevator me hugging his arm.

Jazz was merciful, he let me live he could have gotten a kick from torturing me but no. He clearly thought ahead otherwise he wouldn’t have tolerated, well anything I did. From my futile resistances at the park or my past or that awful kiss. My mind cruelly reminded me of that kiss I gave him, and I felt angry at myself again. I felt embarrassed. I vented myself to let it go and just focus on the now.

I have to be good.

Jazz was right it wasn’t far at all, a bit farther then the park but considering that was only a few streets away the walk was still nothing.

Most of the mall was full of neutral shops, plenty of bots I didn’t recognize. When I saw Ratchet from last night, Jazz must have saw him to as we made a beeline to him. Ratchet wasn’t alone ether, he was holding Rumble and Frenzy’s leashes in one servo and a list he was looking at in the other. The twins were fighting like they normally were known for while the doctor didn’t look like he could remotely care.

Got to give him credit, the twins had a reputation for being highly annoying.

“Ratchet! Long time no see,” Jazz joked. Making Ratchet look up, I made sure to keep close. He seemed nice but that was before he knew my... previous Job. Jazz must have felt my uneasy and gave me a small pat for reassurance.

“Hello Jazz,” The Doctor said looking down at me making me unsettled. “What have you two been up too.”

“Just here to pick up some stuff and look around, You?” Jazz said and only then did Rumble and Frenzy noticed us.

“What’s it to you short stacks?” Frenzy said with his New York accent.

I actively gasped in shock. Call me short all you want but Jazz? They knew dame well who he was. They must have a death wish or really trust Ratchet to fend Jazz off.

Rumble swiftly smacked him upside the head.

“Stop being such pease of slag,” Rumble scolded

“Kiss aft,”

“Idiot,”

“Stupid mechanimal,” Frenzy shouted pulling Rumble’s leash.

“Who got us on these leashes, huh? Who’s the stupid mechanimal?” Rumble retorted

“Ok, so I switched out the hospitals medical grade for alcohol grade. But really, I like to think of it as a ‘social experiment’.” Frenzy said with a mischievous grin.

“Yeah, if by ‘social experiment’ you mean, excuse to be a giant-“ Rumble started to say but Ratchet tugged sharply on the leashes to silence them.

“Quiet, both of you,” He said aggressively making me flinch closer to Jazz. They needed to be careful, Ratchet could surgically remove there voices if he wanted too. The last thing any Con should want is to find themselves at the end of There Master’s scalpel.

“Booooo,” the twins protested in unison. Ratchet just shook his helm.

“Spoiled Brats,” he murmured to himself, Jazz found it amusing more then anything and was laughing. I noticed Ratchet shoot his gaze over to me again. This time looking up and down me in deep though making me uncomfortable. Then back to Jazz.

“Jazz, there’s a virus going around. You should bring him in for a check up.” Ratchet said making me flinch.

Is that why he was looking at me like that?

No, no that doesn’t make sense.

I know that look, I’ve been subject to it countless times. Wether it be by my fellow scientist, soldier, Fortress Maximus, other Autobot or, hell even Jazz.

No,

That look was whenever someone was ‘sizing me up’.

I didn’t want to go to the doctors I feel fine! And serenely with a mech with a reputation like Ratchet. He was the chief medical officer why in Vector Sigma name would he do a basic check up on some peace of scrap nothing like me.

Unless this is some revenge plan...

unless he plans on separating me from Jazz for some sort revenge.

Then it hit me.

Ratchet would have seen the worst of the worst my weapons caused. He would have tended to thousands of untreatable diseased ridden patients and forced to watch helplessly as they offlined. I shut off my vents.

This was for revenge.

And why the hell wouldn’t it be? I made a small glitch noise as I decided to let go of Jazz entirely and hide behind him.

Jazz chuckled amused.

“Aww doesn’t be so shy pet.” He looked back over to the white and red Mech, “Sure Ratch when do you want me to swing over.”

“Well I’m got what I needed, if you want I could take him and you can just come by later,” he said with a mildly serious tone of voice. I looked horrified, could he really not stand to wait to deal with me? Jazz would never-

“Can do,” he said in a cheery voice. Making my spark sink.

This was happening.

I was actually being handed over from the Scariest Autobot soldier/higher up to the scariest Medic/higher up. I was just starting to appreciate Jazz for being nice to me but now-

“You going to be ok?” He turned around grabbing ahold of my shoulder. I was trembling like mad my voice was failing to form words to express the sheer amount of ‘nope’ I feel. I grabbed his wrist with both hands and started to panic.

“Jazz,” I said quietly in a pleading voice. He tried to pull away, but my grip tightened.

“Go with him,” he said in fake happy voice. I don’t care how frightening I fond the black and white mech, I was more scared of Ratchet.

“N-No,” I said softly locking on to him. He continued to try and pry me off himself.

“Let go,” he said seriously but I still didn’t listen. Ratchet was a doctor! A doctor! They know everything about the Cybertronian body and all its functions. If this medic wanted revenge I’d die before I let him take me.

No I’ll fight.

“Closelens, final warning,”

“No, Don’t let him take me,” I panicked as my vents turned on desperate for cold air. “Please don’t let him-“

I heard a small charged, and before I could put two and two together I felt a small jolt of electricity pulse through my neck causing me to yelp in pain. I took two steps back and fell on my backside.

I was not looking in the face of a happy Jazz. My vents gasped in fear when I realized something horrible.

I... I actively disobeyed Jazz...

I disobeyed

He had to shock me.

I’m going to get punished.

I looked up at him frightened reminded of the pecking order, He towered over me. Making sure I knew of the real mech I needed to worry about. I was instilled with a new sense of horror as he looked down with no smile on his faceplate, unreadable optics and a frighteningly cold field like ice that froze my spark. My body stiff and Unmoveable, my voice was gone I shuttered my optics in feeble hopes that it wasn’t real. Oh I wanted to beg but that would just annoy him here and now. I didn’t care about Ratchet, he could have me for all I was worth.

Jazz...

My master pulled me off the ground and pulled me close and got something from his sub space. I needed to try something. With big optics I found my voice again, glitchy and staticky.

“Jazz I-“ I tried to say but he interrupted

“We’ll deal with this later.”

Oh Primus.

He put a leash on me and aggressive tugged me to Ratchet, finding no resistance on my part. He leaned close.

“Bad pets get put on leashes,” he whispered into my audio receptor. I whimpered fearfully not wanting to say anything that would make the situation worse. If it was possible... handed the medic the other end of the leach.

I was embarrassed. I was scared. I was stupid.

He called me a ‘bad pet’. I had one job and that was to just do whatever he ask.

“WHY IS THAT SO HARD!” I screamed in my head.

Now I’m in the servos of a medic who had a beef with me and a angry master who now had a excuse to hurt me. And this time he will hurt me. I disobeyed him.

Ratchet led me away from Jazz with no fight from me. The twins were eagerly singing.

“Somebody got in trouble, Somebody got in trouble.” Over and over again. My headspace had drowned there voices out as I thought of the future hell I had left to go through.

Indeed

Somebody did get in trouble...


	13. Ch 13: Calm before the Storm

Chapter 13

Calm before the Storm

The twins got bored from my lack of reaction, my field was tight around me. Jazz was angry because I failed to do my one job.

Obey.

He never asked anything impossible from me, he never punished me for simple mistakes. I had it a hell of a lot better then most. Sure I had my pride beaten into the ground and smashed into goo, but it’s a lot better then a lot of slave Cons out there. Jazz had been merciful and I was stupid.

I looked up at ratchet who was a lot taller.

Maybe he’ll brake me so bad Jazz might forgo a awful punishment.  
I started to cry silently, had my life really come to this? Hoping someone hurts me so someone else might not. Primus, I’m pathetic. Jazz can do whatever he pleases with me. No matter how much I plead or beg someone to help me, no one will care.

“Bad pet,” his words rang in my head. Taunting me, telling me I failed.

Ratchet noticed me when a whimper escaped my lips. My optics were big and fearful looking up at the towering mech. I couldn’t run, I was trapped there by the tight leash. It actually hurt a lot to be tugged on it, because the collar had those loops around individual neck cables. Thankfully the large medic kept a easy pace for me and the twins.

It was a good far walk to get to the hospital.

I clenched my fists nervous, my spark ached. The place was huge with a lot of people rushing around. The place smelled like spilled energon and rust.

Ratchet tugged the twins closer lightly unlock there leashes.

“Freedom!” Frenzy cried out, Rumble grabbed him and started running off, probably to find Soundwave. Leaving me alone with Autobot Ratchet. I nervous looked up at the mech who pulled me to a examination room. He pushed me in hard when I was starting to slow my pace to stall for time.

But he pushed me into someone by mistake.

I looked up to see the green Wrecker leader, Springer. And he didn’t look happy.

“Watch it Con!” He growled

“S-so sorry sir,” I said quite bowing my helm stepping back, my back bumped into Ratchet.

“Springer, for the last time get out of my ER!” Ratchet growled ignoring me. I got the the side out of the line of fire from there death glares.

“No I want to take Astrotrain home,” Springer said crossing his arm.

“And I’ve told you he’s not fully recovered, your sick idea of a punishment did serious damage to his protoform. It will take weeks to heal,” The medic didn’t back down.

“Ratchet I know what your doing, but I have a right to take him. He’s my reward for millions of years of fighting. Millions of years of watching the ones I care about die, every horror I’ve gone through... I can do whatever I want to him, and that’s what I dame well plan to do,” The Wrecker said making my tank turn.

Primus, I wanted to pray for the big guy as soon as I can.

Ratchet was really serious with this sort of thing was he. I felt myself worry less. But Springer turned to me suddenly making me flinch. He snorted and look back at Ratchet.

“Do I need to get Soundwave to escort you out.” Ratchet said not budging a single millimetre, Springer huffed his vents.

“Your right, I’m sorry Ratchet. I’ll let you get back to work.” Springer said walking past us dispersing around the corner.

I was a bit surprised the medic did that.

I mean I’m not sure who’d win in a fight, Everyone knows how dangerous Ratchet was but no one messed with Wreckers. That was like, rule number 1 on the do not list. But all that was left was the leftovers tension.

“Come on kid,” Ratchet said getting my attention and holding the door open for me.

“Right,” I said hurrying in as to not keep him waiting any longer then he had been.

The examination room was sketchy as all get out. There was a large berth with several bindings on it. My energon went cold as the door shut and locked behind me. I spun around to see the doctor looking at me with a serious look. I stepped back frightened as he walk towards me.

Run.

I made a yelp noise before running behind the large berth. This mech was definitely going to do some awful things to me... why on earth would he choose a room like this? One with no windows or exits.

“Kid?” He said stepping after me. I ran around the berth accidentally running over a tray with tools on it. I ended up falling on them and slitting a wast cable. I cried out in pain but got up fast and ran over to the cabinets knocking stuff out of the way as I crawled into its depths fleeing for my life. I clenched my wound as energon bled from the gash in a attempt to stop it or slow it down. But at the moment that was serenely no my priority.

“Kid!?”

No, this medic was Ratchet for Primus’s sake! He knows how to make me redefine the meaning of pain. And I already have a scheduled unholy threshold of pain when Jazz comes to get me.

I should have grabbed one of those tools as a weapon, little good it would do for me now but he might have killed me by proxy.

I’m a idiot. I’m a sorry idiot that has nothing but pain ahead of me, I closed my optics as Ratchet knelt down in front of the cabinet looking in. There was no way he could fit to get me. He’d have to get REALLY hands on and I’d fight.

No doctor was going to kill me.

I know I probably deserve it by dame it I’m trying to be better, I just want to serve out my slavery punishment in peace.

But he didn’t look angry. That still didn’t stop me from crying again.

“Easy kid-“

“I just want to live! That’s all I want, I never wanted to hurt no one! It was war I had no choice! Do you know what they do to little mechs like me if I disobeyed? We be sent to Shockwave to be fixed, he would make us a lifeless drone. Toy to the whims of whoever called dibs, I couldn’t leave even if I had wanted to!” I sobbed

“I’ve never been free! Sir please, forgive me! Forgive this stupid stupid cowered... Primus knows I’m trying. I’m... I’m just a stupid microscope who only believes in Primus so maybe some day when I go to the Well maybe some will. I know I can’t...” I cried “I’m a horrible dirty killer who will never be worthy of little more then a revenge kill. Pits know I deserve it, I deserve whatever you do to me in that berth!”

Ratchet’s P.O.V

The small bot continued sob his optics out, vents at full charge his field eating him alive with guilt. I was as hard to watch as it was to listen too.

What the hell did he think I planed to to do to him?

I just wanted to make sure Jazz didn’t hurt him last night. He kinda unveiled a pretty awful thing...

I treated millions of diseases but nothing like the weaponize illness genetically modified to be incurable. The shear amount of mercy kill I had to preform...

He trapped himself in a cabinet in a attempt to escape long enough to plea for forgiveness. I had to approach this carefully. I’ve had to deal this sort of trauma before, It’s a form of survivors guilt.

“Easy kid, what’s your name again?” I said gently but dark red mech was lost to his own misery to answer. I may not be Rung but I know a thing or two about dealing with this level of hysteria

“Listen to me, the war is over soldier.”

He looked up slightly

“I was scared for your safety, I only brought you here for a checkup to make sure Jazz didn’t do something stupid like bust you up and not bring you to me. He thinks I over work myself. Regardless I should be the one apologizing to you. Your reaction in the mall got you in more trouble then you were in didn’t I?” When he didn’t respond a ping of guilt hit my hub.

“I’ll talk to him about it not going crazy, I’m so sorry. I know he’s a relentless mech and I promise I’ll talk him down from doing something actually stupid. Alright?” I said his sobbing lessened

“I disobeyed him,” he whispered his next words broke my spark...

“He’ll brake me...”

“No he won’t, I’ll hunt him down if he dose. I’ll make sure he knows it too,” I said wanting to call him up this second. I wish I could just take all the poor Cons in the world stuck like this. Prime could get the bill to free them passed fast enough. I don’t want to write Prime anymore abuse reports to straighten his case. Astrotrain’s was unbearably hard but it’s just one of many. I hated watching people I would have proudly call my brother become some dark twisted version of themselves. Or worse yet in cases like Jazz let’s his freak flag fly.

Thankfully he hadn’t done anything like I thought he might do. He’s... he’s gotten better from back then...

How on earth anyone could want to hurt this little microscope is beyond me. I slowly brought out my hand for the mech like I did when I helped him up at Jazz’s.

“Please don’t hide, I’m not going to hurt you. I just wanted to talk, the berth is only here because this was Astrotrain old room I have hidden away. I didn’t want Springer springing him free from recovery.” I joked giving him a thoughtful look. A small smile crept up his face plate for a moment before disappearing. He let me help him out of the cabinets. The Con looked at me for a moment before dropping his helm keeping his hand on his cut.

He was was so small...

“I’m sorry sir,” he said quietly. I held his shoulder gently

“No more apologies, here sit on the berth and let me look at that cut.” From that point on he’s field was much calmer.

“What’s your name?” I said getting my tools ready, I felt bad for not remembering. But I get dozens of mechs a day, I can’t be expect to remember all of them. It’s ok, I never forget a face.

“Closelens, sir,” the Con said calmly, now I can work peacefully. At least until Jazz gets here...


	14. Ch 14: Anticipation

Chapter 14

Anticipation

Closelens P.O.V

Ratchet was gentle, he placed a simple weld on the cut that should heal by the end of the day. Afterward he pulled up a stool and sat close to me and carefully put his hand on my shoulder.

“Jazz just commed me, he’ll be here in a short while.” Ratchet said making my tank sink. I put my helm in my hands and just focus on venting.

Jazz was coming for me...

I erupted in tears again Ratchet petted my shoulder soothingly, he pulled something out of a nearby drawer.

It was a peace of energon candy.

Primus, the irony.

“These are normally for sparklings, but I think you need one,” he said giving me a thoughtful look, With a shaky servo I plucked it from him.

“C-can I eat it by my self?” I asked not know the procedure here, Ratchet looked confused.

“Knock yourself out,” he said watching me unwrap the wired gelatin orange treat. I was free to eat it however I wanted. The very concept made feel a rush of excitement. I plopped it in and chewed it, as a sort to “Frag you Jazz!” Not that I’d ever tell him. Just the idea made me happy.

But I was reminded of my sadness but didn’t want to cry again. I wiped the tears from my optics and vented slowly.

“Thank you sir, it was delicious,” I said not wanting to forget my manners.

“It’s ok kid,” he pause for a moment to consider what to say next. “Closelens, I want to help you but I didn’t know if I can stop him. I know what he’s like... but I can prepare you at least what to expect.”

I looked up at him scared

“I don’t want him to hurt me,” I said almost in pain

“I know kid, but this might help make it less... intense. You ran away from me when you thought I’d hurt you. You can not do that with him, you need to let him get what he wants. He’s a master torcher, if he get what he want he’ll be inclined to be less... forceful. He won’t tell you what he’s going to do to you until he’s moments away from doing it. That how he’ll keep tension high. But you can’t fight him, it’ll just frustrate him. Jazz likes bagging, but remember that he probably heard it all so you need to be creative. Don’t promise him stuff, tell him everything you’ve done. Remind him how good you have been.” Ratchet said serious, my mind was having issues keeping track. The tears came back as I just thought of all the horrible things that could happen.

“I’m trying,” I sobbed feeling myself panic. “I’m trying sooo hard to be what he wants me to be. I can’t let him take me,”

“No, he won’t let you run. You need to do what he says, he needs to see it. You can do this,” Ratchet said “I’ve tried sitting in on his sessions more then once and I know what he’s like. I promise you’ll survive, he’ll get nothing from killing you.”

I felt my spark flicker violently, I needed to here this but I didn’t want to listen to it. I wanted Ratchet to fight for me like he did against Springer, I wanted to hide wherever he hid Astrotrain.

And that when I heard a knock on the door.

I froze.

Ratchet looked at me.

“Please sir, don’t open it for Primus’s sake, p-please I’m... I-I not really,” I begged softly optics full of terror. He looked at me and whispered...

“I’ll talk to him for a moment. Just... just try to calm yourself.”

He got up and went to the door. I clenched the rapper in my hand choosing to hide it in my substance to play with later. He opened it and I saw my Master there standing casually.

My mind went dark, my body stiff and cold not wanting to be here.

They left the room to talk

Ratchet’s P.O.V

“What’s up doc, is he ok?” Jazz joked I openly groaned.

“Jazz, he’s not sick. But I need you to know what you plan to do to him,” I said firmly

“Oh no, Ratchet. Did he convince you to come out her and- I’m sorry I’ll-“ Jazz said making for the door. I pushed him lightly back.

“No He didn’t convince me to be his champion or anything. But I don’t want you to hurt him like did the others... do I make myself clear.”

Jazz’s visor went a shade darker.

“Ratchet-“ he started to say almost hurt.

“You promised me it would never happen again, do you hear... you swore on your life that you’d never-“ I started but he interrupted

“And I meant it,” he said without hiding any of the emotion in his voice. “Ratchet I swear I’d never, never again. I’m better now, I know I’m still... I’m still a messed up, I know how horrible I still am. I literally came crawling to you for help and I’d never betray you. Pits Ratch, I even came clean to Prime. I even promised Closelens the first day he got here I wouldn’t. Never again...” Jazz said on the verge of tears. But he quickly composed himself. With his visor it was always hard to read him.

“I want him back, please.” Jazz said in a more Jazzish tone. I vented...

“Alright... I trust you,” I said

“I can’t stop you from hurting him... But if ANYTHING happens to that Mech... anything remotely like before and I will hunt you down,” I said slowly so he got me loud and clear.

“I’d hope you would.” He said opining the door seeing Closelens down on his knees with his helm bowed.

“And please...” I said sadly “go easy on him, he’s scared...”

“Good, he should be,”

Jazz put him on a leash letting him get up and walk pass me. His trembling frame looked up at me for a moment...

The fear was never more real. I tightened my fist so I wouldn’t reach for him. I offline my optics and said to myself...

I helped him the best I could, I told him everything I know.

The kid was in Jazz’s hands...


	15. Ch 15: Punishment

Chapter 15

Punishment

Closelens's P.O.V

I stayed close to Jazz, I noticed that he was walking slower then usual... he was building anticipation. And Primus it was working...

I kept my helm in a low bow and said nothing. I don't want to annoy him... I was holding the rapper in my hand as a good luck charm. I shivered as I walked, Jazz was keeping his field tight and hasn't said a word to me. Any time I tried to reach out with mine his would react violently and push me away. Jazz was angry at me... angry and oddly emotional... every once in a while since we left the hospital Jazz's field occasionally erupt into a mess of self loathing depression and hatred. I audibly squeaked the first time as it came from nowhere.

If that's the Jazz I'd have to face when we get back...

No I can't fight him... I can't make him more upset with me...

I fought off tears, more the less to save them for later. Jazz had me beside him as we continued to walk. I really felt like a death row inmates being marched to get triple tapped...

Spark, Brain module, T-Cog...

Simple clean execution that one that can be plan for. But I hadn't the slightest clue what he'd chose for me...

A looooong walk later we had arrived. I thought of fighting, of pulling the lease has hard as I could. Maybe snapping my neck cables in the process. But no... my best shot was to just quietly obey and except whatever he planed to do to me. My spark pulsed relentless my hands slipped the wrapper into sub space again for safety. I vented slowly remembering ratchets advice... simple do what he wants so He will feel obliged to be gentler. 

I didn't slow Jazz pace in the slightest as we made it to the elevator and every agonizing second as each floor past us.

The next and the next each one getting closer to my fate.

To my first punishment.

I thought now to Pray while I had a few floors left.

I shut my optics and prayed for forgiveness for my stupidity, I prayed for Primus to grant me mercy throw Jazz or to give me the strength I needed to... deal with this. A thank you to Ratchet for his kindness I'd be forever grateful for. And if jazz hurts me so bad... I'd hope to be in his company for healing. And that-

The elevator stoped.

My vents hummed louder as I failed to catch cold air, my frame froze like ice but I felt over heated, my body went on autopilot. As I stepped off with him.  
He stoped in his tracks tugging lightly on the leash, I slowly turn to Jazz slowly raising my helm.

"I'm going to take the leash off, if you run... I'll manually remove your knee joints." Jazz said with no emotion. I bowed my helm again giving him my full submission.

In Decepticon culture it I consider rude to challenge someone by to stare into there optics. Especially during shows of power like this. Perhaps a old habit but there is a chance it was something shared with Autobots as well. I don't remember if it existed before the war or not.

Jazz freed me from the leash and as promised I didn't run off. I'd have to be really stupid to try something like that.

He took my hand and pulled me closer to the door as he unlocked it with the  
code. Just in case I broke for the elevator.

His hand had no love in its grasp or the gentleness like before. I still failed to  
feel his field, like radio silence and it frightened me.

Jazz pulled me through the open door to his home and let the door close behind us. I struggled to keep my field from going crazy or mad with fear. I kept my vents going...

The moment was quiet and in slow motion. He let go of my had making me nervous...

It was his move.

"Centre of the room, on your knees, servos in your lap." He said emotionless.

I ran into position the moment he said it, I wasted no time. I'd had hoped the kind medics warning would save me or at least help somewhat.

Jazz approached me like a predator stalking it pray he approached slowly...  
I bowed my helm for him I flinched from his touch slightly with a gasp as his knuckles stroked the side of my face. I let out a small whimper, the fear got the better of me as I vented harder for air. He slowly circled me... with each step feeling louder then the last in my audios. A illusion I'm sure caused by my survival instincts thinking I needed to listen closely. but it made it borderline unbearable to sit patiently for Jazz's next move.

"Do know why I'm doing this Closelens?" Jazz said coldly.

"..." I couldn't find my voice so I just nodded. Jazz's field sparked to life with a flash of anger he walked around to my front and lifted my chin too his visor sharply. I yelped out of surprise, expecting the first blow.

"No, I don't think ya do, because if you did, we wouldn't be here," Jazz said "I gave you one rule, that rule was simply to obey me. I kept you well rested you had good energon, simple work. So tell me pet, I want to hear you grand o' explanation before I make my final decision."

I cringed sharply venting

Jazz voice went soft as I bowed my helm again.

"I-I-I'm so sorry," it's not what he asked but it was all I could force myself to say. Speaking hurt to much. If he forced me to start I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop. I’d annoy him and only make things worse, if possible.

"Closelens, I'm serious. I'm no mech to mess around with,"

Needed to obey, I took a deep vent before I was ready to talk. 

"I- I- I wa-was scared... I... I thought Ratchet would hurt me, h-he knew what I did in the past. He was looking at me funny, I thought-" I stammered for my words.

Jazz sneered, he violently grabbed onto my audio fin. Not enough to hurt it or damage it but I was dangerously close to make me I cried out.

"Your blaming Ratchet?" He asked

"No no no I- I'd never-" I tried to call out

"You disobeyed me, you were given multiple warnings. I had to shock you, I needed to hurt you to make you listen to me. But if that's what it takes, so be it," he said making my spark stop. He started crushing my fin.

"No, Jazz! I'm sorry! I fraged up I know I did! STOP STOP PLEASE STOP!" I cried harder not being able to keep my hands in my lap I grabbed his arm holding my fin. My audio screamed a horribly trying to interrupt the pain into sound making me nearly deaf. Thankfully he let go before he did anything permanent. I held the side of my helm with my free hand, crying.

I looked up to see him with the cruelest smirk I'd ever seen on him yet. With the dark expression he looked like he was...

enjoying this...

I cried harder,

"I-I never meant to fail you, or challenge your a-authority... I'm so sorry-" I bowed my helm to the ground. "I-I forgot my place, I forgot who I was and I forgot who you were-"

"And we will fix that, No more talking," Jazz said stopping me, I slammed my mouth shut, "Sit up, hands in your lap, last time I'll tell you."

I obeyed, Primus I obeyed.

My vents blared.

I sat up bowed my helm again fearfully of his next move.

This was Autobot Jazz...

The torturer of Prime and second in command of the Prime him. Ironically, Fear was the only this keeping me from panicking. Jazz's black servos have been loving for so long. The thought of him turning violent and... Primus, I wasn't even sure where'd he'd start.

The anticipation made my tank turn.

He put his hand on my other audio fin, gently this time. He petted it soothingly. The worst part was how good it felt, making me want to purge. I needed to do something to stop him to please him. I'd let him have me... anything he wanted.

I herd him purr with that evil expression. My surrender... he said it was his favourite part.

"I can be generous, I can be gently..." he said calmly pulling something out. 

"Look at me."

I slowly brought my red optics to face him again, unfortunately the lubricants made my vision blurry. I opened and closed my optics a few times. Jazz was holding a flog of some sort making me gasp in horror looking at him with wide optics. I couldn't vent, there was no cold air to be had, my frame was overheating. I wanted to talk, no I wanted to run. A sure death sentence if there ever was one.

It took everything not to scream. Almost thankful I had no voice...

"I'm going to hurt you," Jazz stated making the tears fall. A slew of sounds came from my glitched voice, non of it was real words. But still my point getting across nicely.

He knelt down putting his hand on the side of my faceplate. I practically dove into it with affectionate nuzzles. My field begged for the support and love I had felt from him before. It didn't mater if it was degrading, the pits with my pride. I don't need it here, it won't save me.

I honestly didn't mean to disrespect him, I never wanted to make him mad. Upsetting Jazz was never once on my to do list. I looked up him for one last try... his frame was absorbing my field, he loved ever second of my mulling weakness.

"Mercy Autobot Jazz, it was a mistake... It will never happen again...I'll do anything," I whispered softly, all my hopes now rested in those words and in Jazz's hand. He looked less darkly and he had on a more thought expression.

"I know, it was a mistake," He said pulling away. My field desperately clinging to him. "But if I let this one slide what would you learn? How would I be sure I won't happen again? You had mercy before but now... things will be different. No, you will need to earn my mercy this time."

"Forgive me," I wimped just bowing my helm to the ground again. I just decided to wait for the blows to come.

"Nuh uh, sit up and look at me Closelens. I'm not done yet! Treat this like the Second most important conversation we ever had." Jazz ordered I had no choice but to listen.

"Do you know why I'm using this instead of the collar?" He asked putting the electric flog under his arm.

"no... because I'm a slave," I said quietly expecting him to strike at any moment. I wanted to say because it's fun for you but that was a bad idea if there ever was one.

"No, because I want you to fear me instead of the collar, belonging to me shouldn't be a punishment. I don't want it to be... I want to pet you, take care of you but I can't spoil you. Closelens, you bring me joy... and these few days mean something to me. So I'm going to reduce your punishment. I'm only going to strike you 5 time instead of 15." He said softly  
I was frightened but I nodded, I was grateful for his leniency at the very least.

"Thank you," I said still shaking, Jazz hummed softly.

"You've handled all this very well, but thing are still going to change. Everything from energon and sleeping. And if you EVER disobey me again I'm going to double the strikes. Do you understand." He made sure he was very clear.

"Yes Jazz," I said clenched my hands into fists. I needed to stop myself from saying anything else.

I'm lucky, this is good, I said on repeat over and over... trying to convince myself to not go hysterical. He tuned the flog on, oh the electric sounds it was making were terrible. Discharge strikes between each of the deadly wires.

My Vents are on full blast, As Jazz made his way behind me.  
Oh Primus I can't do this, this can't be real. I felt Jazz pet my helm lovingly, making me look at him upside down.

"I'm going to explain what will happen, I will strike you back and sides. It will hurt a lot so your free to scream as much as you need. Do not attempt to block a strike with your hands, it will hurt you a hell of a lot more and I wouldn't cont it. Place your hands on your helm and don't move them," Jazz explained slowly making sure I understood. I did as instructed and braced myself.

"Jazz," I said breathlessly as a final plea, Closing my eyes for the first hit...  
The first hit burned so hot it registered as cold, the electric stabbed throw my armour and hit my protoform. He was right, it hurt. It hurt so much I had aftershocks in my hole frame. I screamed out the name of my god, I shivered so had I was frightened I'd fall over. I couldn't vent my frame felt like it was melting. My audio took in feedback and like that I was deaf again.  
Jazz calmly waited until I was done recovering from the first hit...

He wanted to hit me 15 times? I hardly live past one it felt like. The hysterical sobbing returned with a vengeance... I gripped my helm tighter.

Jazz had to have kept the thing in sup space when he reviled it. Did he have it on hand the entire time I've been here?

That made my tank want to purge, just the idea that someone I clung to had such a devastating torture tool on him at all times.

A moment when by, and the second hit had me seeing stars. It felt like I needed to close my optics to keep the feedback from blowing them out. I let out illegible words in a glitchy mess.

"Stop, it hurts it hUrTs!" I cried before he struck again

"No talking," he said making me cry out in shear anticipation.  
Each strike was just as devastating as the last, I felt the flog leave scorch marks making me scream to the heavens again for help. Again and again. He said 5 but I lost count...

Jazz was ruthless with his hits.

This, this couldn't be only 5? No it wasn't, Jazz was never going to stop hitting me, he was going to flog me to death sending me running to Primus. 

When he stepped out in front of me he said something.

I couldn't hear it.

I need to here it, it was important. I needed to obey, I needed to please Jazz. I needed his good graces or I'd die.

He looked at me confused as my messy optics looked at him lost, in need of giddiness.

He knelt down touching my helm for a moment when I faintly heard his voice.

"-lens Can you here me now," I couldn't use words. I nodded I sobbed. I hugged him, I don't care anymore I needed a hug... I continued to cry on him. Startled at first but he petted my helm gently. I looked up at him crushed.

"P-pleA-sE D-d-d-don't k-ilL m-me,"

"Shhhh, it's over pet... it's over..." Jazz said holding me gently against him. I hugged him tightly unable to comprehend that idea. No more pain... it felt too much like a lie. Regardless I was now crying for joy. My body trembled against him as I held him tighter. He made damn sure not to touch my now doubt destroyed back.

Jazz started humming a toon on my good audio side. I let myself close my optics and just lay there in my cruel masters arms. My hole body hurt if I tried to move, it wasn't worth it. I don't mind Jazz hugging me for support even if he's just here to take joy out of my suffering... I just wanted to be at peace.

He was right however, I never wanted to disobey him ever again... I'd do anything to earn his mercy... anything...

Jazz's P.O.V

My little Closelens was perfect, today he preformed beautifully... sang perfectly. I was luck to have such a eager pet bend and brake on simple command. Though I did lie to him. wasn't ever planning on hitting him 15 times, I told him that so he'd be more grateful. His frame type would be able to handle it. But I do plan on doubling it if he dose find it in him to ever disobey again.

But I know he won't...

I smiled as I hummed to him a soothing earthy melody. It's meant for little kids but...

He was so cute...

I frowned at myself, I shouldn't have done this... I shouldn't have let myself enjoy it. It's a punishment where he was getting hurt.

What is wrong with me...

What if I hit him to hard and broke his armour or did serious damage to the protoform. My hand clutched Closelens's now unconscious frame.

Why did I enjoy hurting people? Why dose it give me so much pleasure to watch them squirm and beg for me to stop.

I am better because I can control my needs now.

But that still made me sick in the helm. I picked Closelens up with ease and brought him to our berth and put him on his front so his new wounds could heal in the open air.

Poor pet...

I wasn't even going to let him recharge in the berth because "only good pets recharge with there masters" I was going to say to him.

But that’s not happening, his poor beaten frame deserves better.  
In every way.

He should be with Whealjack, he'd love him... they could do mad science stuff together. Ratchet would give him the world, or pits, Prime would help his guilt. I think Closelens's religious. Or at the very least agnostic.

The point is, he deserves better then me but I'm far to selfish to let him go.  
He's mine. I want him, and if I could have him forever I would.

I offlined my optics too vent.

He's so helpless and alone, I can't be tuff on him. It was a mistake. He was scared of a doctor on the enemies side who knew his dirty secret... I should have left him off with a warning or something.

No...

Nothing I say should be empty, I gave him one rule and he broke it.  
I'm getting blinded by my guilt of enjoying it. He needed this. That little mech needed this to remind him of his position. Who know what I'd do if he REALLY messed up in a situation I'd actually be mad at.

This will keep him in line and hopefully keep from doing something like this, big or small- in prospective.

It's just, he looked so hurt. He looked at me with nothing but pure horror. Like back on the day we first met... it hurt my spark but in a way that felt amazing. Why was I like this?

For now I needed to think of a approach. How should I reached when he gets up? I need to roll with it. I need to make sure he's know to never let me indulge myself ever again...


	16. Ch 16: Unloading

Chapter 16

Unloading

Closelens needed to recharge as his body recovered, this wouldn’t be a overnight thing. No this would take weeks easily. His face looked like he was having a nightmare, poor thing...

My spark surged with sympathy. I held his hand as he trembled slightly. His body would be turning off all other expendable functions to focus on his wounds. I left him alone with some slow classic music hopefully to aiding affect.

I went to my comm link to talk with Ratchet. He’s probably worried sick about my little pet.

His comm nick name I gave him never stoped being funny to me.

Hatchet link:

“How bad is he?” He said annoyed

“Hello to you too,” I snickered getting comfy on the couch kicking my feet back.

“You only contact me when you brake something so who is it this time,” Ratchet said, not gonna lie, it kinda hurt. I always talked to him, plaything or not.

“He’s fine, he’ll be feeling it when he wakes up not going to lie,” I said smoothly but I could feel Ratchets scowl.

“So why are you comming me?” He asked sceptical I let out a vented sigh. Primus there was a lot I wanted to say...

“I... I knew you’d worry,” I said not letting anything leave my voice. I was still troubled by the way we left things in the hospital. I could talk to Ratchet better then any specialist out there.

“So what did you do, Flog him into recharge?” He sarcastically as a joke.

Oh boy...

“Yes?” I said knowing he wouldn’t like to hear that. It’s sad that that was the worst he could think of was correct.

“What! Why! He didn’t do anything outside of be frightened, I don’t get people like you! I never will!” He yelled over the line making me flinch but I felt the need to defend myself. What did he mean by that?

“People like me?” I asked crossing my arms, hoping he could hear the my angry tone in my voice. I was appalled, I knew exactly what he was comparing me to and I was not happy...

“Yes you, Kup, Sunstreaker, Fort Max, Prowl, Huffer, Springer-“

I blew.

“Don’t compare me to them!” I said these were cruel, cruel people.

“Well-“

“No, Closelens will recover from this, do you think Sunspot will recover? Kup ripped off his wings for a escape attempt! Or how about Starscream? He’s dead now, think he’ll wake up eh ok?”

“Jazz-“ he said still I didn’t stop.

“Astrotrain? Did you see what-“ Ratchet cut in.

“YES JAZZ I DID! I had to tend to each and ever one of them. Starscream died on my table! He didn’t make it throw the night because his spark just gave up! I’m sick of watching my friends because monster, I hate there hopeless faces looking at me! Begging me to save them, protect them! But I can’t!” He Shouted before going quiet. “Astrotrain begged me to kill him, he grabbed my servo and said... he wanted to see Blitswing again... That Blitzwing promised to wait for him at the edge of The Well so they can fly into the afterspark together...”

I went quiet, what could I say to him.

“But no, it physically hurts me to do this but I have to legally discharge him tomorrow to Springer. Jazz... I never want to see that become your little mech. You hear. Don’t make me hate you.” Ratchet yelled emotionally. I hated hearing him talk like this, I wish I can help. And I can...

“Ratchet, I adore him. I’ve never been needed, never. Working with OP is one thing but he needs me. And I need to be needed. I’ll never hurt him bad enough to really hurt him, he’s stronger then he credits himself for.” I stopped “He’ll make it out alright, I’m better now and... he makes me... happy. I haven’t felt so happy in months, with the war over I’ve just felt numb. He saved me. I promise, I promise I’ll keep him safe. You have my word.”

Ratchet went quiet...

“Good,” Ratchet said in a gruff voice, he sounded tired. “I’m going to hold you to that, Jazz. I mean it! But if he is hurt, don’t not see me because you don’t want me to see. Your not a selfish mech, I know your not.”

He has no idea... I didn’t have to be so cruel to Closelens but I can’t help it. I want him to need me for everything, I want him to see me as his saviour, his conquer everything.

I’m sick and the worst part is... I wouldn’t know where to stop. My hunger to be in absolute control ironically prevents me from limited myself, being in control. And he’d completely helpless to stop me, he took his Punishment with no use. No fight and I loved everything second of it.

What’s wrong with me?

“No sir,” I said respectfully,

no, there’s nothing respectfully about lying.

“Good, so tell me... is he really ok,” he said gently

“I-I’ll swing by in a few days to get him looked at,” I promise, it’s for the best really. I don’t want him to suffer more then he already has. “It’s not that bad honest.”

“Good I’m glad to hear, but make sure to him clean, Prevents infection,” he said. “What’s he doing now?”

“Recharging, I sang him to sleep.” I said honestly

“Oh,” I could here the slightly worry in his voice.

He knew good and well what my voice could do...

“Not like that! I’d never,” I said before he could say anything. I’m no Tarn that’s for sure. The dud was a monster, and not one with a sense of right and wrong. Then again he was overly emotionally attached to someone for meaning too...

Don’t over think it, the guys a aft with no redeeming quality’s. I’m... I’m trying a hell of a lot more then he ever did.

“I know I was just making sure,” he said nicely

“Thanks for talking Rach, it really makes me feel better talking to you...”I said with a small smile.

“Yeah same, s-sorry I... unloaded all that on you, it’s really not your problem.” He apologize sounding a little shyly. Oh he has no idea, I’m basically unloading all my frustration on Closelens. He thinks he can’t so much as complain about anything without something unspeakable evil happening.

Maybe I am no better then Springer...

No he’ll make it through this. I wouldn’t lose control of myself, I know what I’m doing.

“Please, You never apologize for anything, no one works harder then you,”I said, I can’t imagine how he’s still functioning after all the horror’s he’s seen. Yet still one of the grumpiest nice guys I’ve ever meant. I wish he wasn’t trying to save everyone.“So go take a nap old mech, you sound like you need it.”

I smiled to myself What he REALLY need to do is to tell Drift how he feels and do some real unloading... If you catch my... Drift?

“No bad Jazz,” scolded myself. But I couldn’t help but smile at my own pun.

“No there still so much I have to-“

“I’m sure Drift, the cassette, Soundwave, Firstaid and all your hole staff can handle the place without setting the place on fire,” I said Jokingly

“Yooooou’d be surprise,” he said chuckled

“Tell me again why you saved the little brats?” I asked knowing the good source of his stresses.

“Goodbye Jazz,” he said but I could here a smile in his voice

“Bye Rach, and I mean it!” I said as I left the comm. I can’t help but look up to him. I swear, If he applied half the effort he did in the Medbey as to the battle field, the war would have been over before Orion knew what the matrix was.

I pressed a button to let the classical music from the berth room, spread to the hole place. I had speakers of every corner of the house. I leaned back and just let it all wash over me. I still need a strategy for when Closelens wakes up, he’s going to be in pain and probably a grovelling mess. I need to approach this calmly and gently, I know I said I’d be harder on him now but I can’t. At least not while his basics functions are shot and he has no confidence. I need to give him time to recover before I go harder on him.

For example I was going to half his energon rations but that’s really no a good idea wile healing. When he’s more stable I’ll talk with him about what needs to happen. But for now I think I just need to listen to Mozart do his thing...


	17. Ch 17: After-Care

Chapter 16

After-care

Closelens P.O.V

I onlined my optics safely in Jazz’s bed, I checked to see if all my dentals were still in place with my glossa. In my dream they were falling out for no reason. Funny, I went from one nightmare to the next. I vented slowly to compose myself.

I tried to move only for my frame to be struck with a stab of pain from every part of my body. It shot through me I cried out and started rapping my arms around my face meekly to hide from the agony. I was flat on my front. I was reminded of everything that happened before and continued to cry. My body echoed in shrilled voices retelling ever hit ever line on my back.

Jazz hurt me, Jazz is mad at me, I need to find him I need to tell him how sorry I was. I just needed to fix what happened. Tell him That I’ll do anything for him anything to please him. I wouldn’t make that mistake again.

I here’d the doom open and I froze, I wanted to play dead and hope he went away.

No, he probably heard me cry out.

My body felt numb, what was I supposed to do? Do I just start begging or do I work my way up to it? I felt sick. Thankfully his voice interrupted my train of thought.

“Hey there sleepy pet,” he whispered softly, no. I knew better then to trust his voice, it was a trap. This manic who only wanted me to hurt for him.

No I must please him! If he’s happy I won’t suffer anymore.

The hopeless collapsed around my intake. I couldn’t make words I was hysterical. But I couldn’t keep quiet, Primus save me if he thought I was ignoring him. My mind raced with stupid things to tell him. My mouth stared moving without ordered,

“Jazz, I’d do better I’d be better, I promise I promise I promise I promise,” I said into my arms covering my face. My voice was small and tired, pathetic in comparison to his. Strong, and silky smooth.

“Shhh, I know.” He said sitting on the edge of the berth, making me cringe with anticipation. What was he here for? Was he mad I passed out?

“You did magnificently,”

I was confused, how could I have made him happ-

Oh...

Jazz had fun whipping me... I-I see. But I should make sure he meant it, I don’t want to risk it being sarcasm.

“Did I Please you?” I asked child like, I just don’t want him to do it again. I need figure out what he wanted. My field was a mess and in this state I just couldn’t get a comfortable read on him. I was lost in a forest of my own anxiety.

“Yes you did, you took your punishment like a good pet. Not difficult in the least.” He said making me sob with pure joy. Oh he called me a good pet, that’s soooo good to hear. Never in my life would I would be so grateful.

“Oh thank Primus,” I sent my praises above gratefully. He was happy with me, not just the prospect of beating me but I did well during the beating. I don’t know I could be “good” during.

He chuckled and petted the non damaged audio fin I flinched but his touch reminded smooth and soothing.

Something broke in me, I wanted this... I wanted him pet me, I couldn’t be bothered to care. I just wanted to be good. I just wanted him to never need to hurt me again. I vented slowly letting him take whatever he wanted.

This was safer.

And if this was the best I could ask for... I’d take it...

I give up...

My tears never faltered.

“But I need you to get up for me,” he said making me cringe, how could he expect me to get up? I can’t... I can’t but I know I couldn’t not as well. I slowly forced my arms underneath me and pushed myself. I growled in pain as I forced myself up. Jazz looked considered and garbed hold of my arm.

“Easy mech, slowly,” he said said helping me. When I sat up I just held his hand holding me. I just wanted comfort. Jazz made no attempt to pull away he let me have this.

I was broken

I was hurt

Jazz got closer and stroked the side of my helm with a purr. I couldn’t help lean into it, I wanted security.

I wanted safety again, I’ll be good.

I just wanted him to hold me and tell me I was safe, needed comfort.

Jazz’s P.O.V

I held Closelens perfectly as he worshipped my hand. Meaning it worked, the pain he went through will pay off in the long run. And like that, I regretted it all a little less.

His back looked awful. Horrific burn marks were all over his back it had scored the metal and burned the pant off. Old energon from the open wounds. No doubt burned through to his protoform. He was in pain but I knew he could soldiers on, I’d let him take all the time in the world if he needed too recover.

For now my goal was simply to get him to the washrask and help get the burned dry paint out of his deep gashes that decorated his little frame. Clean off the energon, I didn’t want him to get a infection. I waited for his crying slowly became quite.

“Can you stand?” I asked hoping now would be a good time to push him a little more. He nodded, trying to clime to his feet the hole time I supported Closelens trembling frame. He slumped against me unable to hold himself. He let out a quiet painful whimper.

“You’re fine, it alright...” I said as he put his servos against me to try and balance, I had my arms ready to grab him if he fell away from me, I held his hands until he let go. Closelens stumbled slightly but was fine.

“Good mech,” I said as he looked up at me for more instruction with his cute big red optics. “Listen, I’m gonna walk you to the washrack. We need to get you nice and cleaned up alright?”

I felt him tense up frightened, in spite of his lack of words I knew he was scared the water will hurt. He didn’t fight as I slowly started to walk him down the hall.

He didn’t breath a word, I led him in and made sure the water wasn’t to hot and the pressure was low as to be sure it wouldn’t hurt as bad.

I felt Closelens’s grip tighten slightly making me look and the nerves mech. He was looking at the washrack as if it was a scary monster.

“Closelens it’s alright, it will hurt a bit at first but your back needs to be cleaned alright.” so I looked back at him with a small smile. He looked so nervous, absolutely precious.

“Please... I don’t... want to... I’ll fall or run...” I heard him shiver as the tears came back. His field flared up with sudden fright expecting the worst of the worst. But I bent down slightly to reassure him.

“I’ll be with you the whole time, I’ll have you and I promise I won’t let you go.” Started to hum softly, he seems to like my voice. I eased him in, the two of us locked in a embrace. His back to the water wile I held him. Closelens started crying harder as the water hit his back making him press against me more.

“Shhhh I got you,” I said between his sobs. I continued to hum in his good audio fin and let him calm himself down. His frame rattled like something else, after the gashes heal I’ll take him to Sunny’s place and get his armour tightened. His back plate will need new paint too. Just before the party he should be ready now that I got a better look at the wounds without the energon and scorched paint it wouldn’t take more then a few days for the lines will be gone. But still very sensitive...

The smaller mech rested himself against me, letting the water take the worst of it away. He kept his hands locked with mine, to make sure I kept my promise.

At the moment I just enjoyed the company. I love it so much, his field was the perfect blend of pain fear and rest. This was what I wanted, he doesn’t want to be anywhere else but here. I could taste it in the air.

At this very moment in time he was mine.

And he likes it...

Closelens’s P.O.V

My back hurt but the pain did stop, Jazz’s from was warm. His field never so inviting. I need this, his protection I also needed to keep Jazz like this some how. He liked me in this state as messed up as it is, I could feel it.

What am I doing? This mech thinks he owns me, he’s only holding me like this to get off on his sick idea of a fantasy rush. He’ll simply hurt me until he get it. I’m just a means to a end, a toy for his delusions. he doesn’t care. What does he know about me? Why the hell am I hear in this fraged up world of his.

I want out

I want to be free.

But all I could do was take whatever he gave me and be grateful it’s not his dirty flog. He was getting exactly what he wanted from me and there wasn’t a thing I could do to fend him off.

And Primus whatever he was doing, the mind games the abuse was all paying off in his sick processor. I may have him against the wall but I was the one who was cornered. The worst part is someone who’s cornered usually fights harder then ever before. No he has me under his heel ready to crush me into place if I set out of line.

What did I feeling about this? Why don’t the water hurt anymore, why did I enjoy his field? why is Jazz so okay with taking care of me? Don’t normal master ship there slaves off to Ratchet to fix when there in conditions like mine.

I was so confused, my mind being torn from peace too dread. I’ve never been in such a complacent dance before, fitting as it was Jazz.

This scary mech who could kill me at any moment, taking the time and care to make sure the water wouldn’t hurt me, That only he could. The true authority of my peace and misery.

And that’s what he wants from me, he wants to be my god.

Why was this so complicated?

Jazz is truly the most evilest mech to ever live.

My punishment, sent with love and care by Unicron himself.


	18. Ch 18: Not Over

Chapter 18

Not Over

Warning: suicide talk

Closelens’s P.O.V

Jazz took care of me, we’ll that’s what he called it. He was enjoying it to much for him to really be worried about my own well being. He’d let me cry on him when the pain flared up and I needed someone to comfort me. Jazz said that I had to go in the washrack every day so it doesn’t get infected how sad was it that I hope it did. It would hurt a lot more, no it would burned like the Pits itself, but it was worth it. In the end he’ll have to take me to see Ratchet.

I still had the candy wrapper, If Jazz did notice it he didn’t say anything about me keeping garbage. To me, it wasn’t.

My one taste of Freedom.

I smiled at my joke. But in all seriousness I couldn’t be more grateful for it. A moment of genuine kindness in the nightmare. The doctor looked at me as a person not... whatever Jazz saw me as. It made me feel dirty a used. I felt hopeless lost in a dark tunnel already caught and help by the mercy of the monsters inside it.

Speaking of, at the moment I was in the berth with him. Jazz didn’t snuggle with me like usual he gave me plenty of room. He didn’t move to much during recharge but it was nice of him regardless. My back was vulnerable I didn’t have much in the way of armour or kibble. Just a few high powered lenses.

Thankfully none of them got hit, Jazz must have made sure of that because I would have REALLY felt that...

But Jazz wasn’t merciful, he never needed to go as far as he did. He knows I’m not a trouble maker or I didn’t already fear him. Just like how him taking care of me isn’t mercy. He’s having fun doing whatever phycological scrap to me without any regards to how I really feel.

Why did I feel so lost?

Alone, even though thousands of Decepticon were probably going through worse tonight. I should feel proud or united. But I’ve always been standing alone, but really I’d even argue that is NOTHING compared to before the war really started.

Two weeks into it I had my hands on a hand blaster a true moment of despair.

I had it to my spark chamber.

It had been the worst day of my life... I was forced to be a scientist rather then a soldier. My logic that if I were a soldier I would at least die fighting for what I believed. Dying for my freedom, for the freedom of all suppressed by the senate.

Something that I’d call the perfect death. Because death without meaning serves no meaning thus is wasted. That’s what I’ve always believed. Even if I was killed instantly it would be worth it all.

But no.

My alt mode was seen as better used instead. I was insulted, denied my right to fight and put back to my old job. What I was forge to do.

And all the others big bots, the road sweepers the gladiators all wished they could have been ‘privileged’ like me. They told me to be grateful Megatron didn’t slaughter me. That I was rich so how could I want to fight the System that put mechs like me on top. Swollen with jealousy they tore me down day after day.

Until I put the blaster to my spark chamber wanting to die when I was denied everything, I felt a slave then with no where to run. But I couldn’t do it.

I reminded myself that death without meaning serves no meaning and this was the most cowardlyist thing I could or have ever done.

Life isn’t fare it never has been and never will be making it so when I did get my moment to fade it would mean something more.

I’ve never thought of doing it ever again.

That some day I’d be worth more then my T-cog that open more doors then I could imagine but denied me everything.

I wouldn’t let it trap me.

I wouldn’t let it define me.

Being a Decepticon gave me the strangest to push back against everything. This is no different, Jazz promised that I’d get throw this. That I’d come out the other side.

I’m scared but I can make it... I’ll convince him I’m worth it.

I’ll be better.

Primus help me I know it will be painful, I hurt down to my core but I can do this. Give him everything he want prove to him I’m worth his time. I’ll survive.

I promise myself 4 million years ago I would push myself to live.

To keep living, to keep fighting until I could be more the just... who I was.

The person I hate the most. The person I hate more then Jazz was the mech I was forced to look at the mirror at. These, heh they were just scratches. Very deep very painful scratch but over the mountains of misery and self doubt I made it. I can’t let Jazz brake me, really and truly brake me.

If nothing else has then he won’t.

I’m a smart guy, I can figure him out. I can play his game. I don’t need to win or challenge him but I can play along.

I can make it...

I looked in between my fingers and looked at the Candy wrapper in my digits. I gave it a thoughtful smile.

I guess it is my good luck charm, a reminder that there is hope. Good in the world outside of this apartment.

That’s all I needed really, was something, literally anything to inspire me.

I looked over at Jazz across from me, he looked so peaceful, his visor was dark and I could make out his closed optics. He looked happy, that’s all I needed.

I needed to keep him happy and make my own. I deserved it, I’ve Payed my price. I’m serving my sentence Ratchet was my sign I needed.

I had my confidence back, now was the time for me too real start fighting my war.

Jazz’s P.O.V

Call me paranoid but I never liked falling asleep first in a group, especially with little Decepticons who could try slicing my neck cables. And that would only be the 4 worst thing I’ve woken up too. Plus I liked to see what sort of mindset he was in before lights out, it’s important that I know so I can plan my next move. As much as I loved today, he’ll get better and I wouldn’t keep him in a broken up state just to take care of him. Even I’m not that cruel. ‘Sides it’s not my end goal.

I’m good at controlling my field, it’s what certainty making him think I was in recharge. I heard a crinkle crinkle noise, I’ve noticed he found a peace of trash he likes to play with. Maybe next time we’re out I’ll find him a toy to play with. Actually maybe a few puzzle games too, oh and I know a grate data scroll stores he seems like a book guy. We’ll make a day of it when he goes for a pant job. Primus know I have plenty of time and credits to burn now the war is over. Plus I bet he’d like something to call his own. Though I doubt as much as me. But More then some wrapper I probably dropped.

He was miserable all day, getting him in public again might give him more confidence.

Thought it seemed the wrapper made him happy. His field was exuding hope and bright thoughts.

I was taken aback, I’m... I’m really glad! See! I knew he wasn’t weak, fragile but not weak.

See that’s something I can work off of, tomorrow I’ll start small by asking him to pick a movie to watch. Something from earth maybe educate him a little too.

Closelens was still not quite where I want him to be. But if I’ll be honest I’m not so sure where that is exactly. I’ll know when I get there, I want to get my fix but I also don’t want to... I don’t want to go too far.

He’s in a sensitive spot in his training so I needed to tread lightly.

I have a obligation to him, Ratchet and myself to uphold. I’d hate to lose him because I suddenly got careless and did something stupid.

Speaking of, Closelens’s frame was at ease, not because he was resting but he felt better, composed. He vented slower he felt ponds less tense. There was a sense ease to the air as he adoringly fell into recharge.

He was so cute, he looked so calm.

Even with my eyes closed I could see my pet’s eased face, optics closed, mouth opened slightly.

I really meant it when I told Ratchet I adored him, my little Closelens. But I remember I almost broke his audio fin... like that came the waves of guilt.

I never told him I’d do that did I...

My rules are basic off some good torcher tactics. Granted not all of them because there’s no question answer or need to intimidate. He was quiet scared all on his own.

1: Make sure they understand there situation.

I made that clear by having him on his knees and asked him if he knew why he was there. Then I had explained it again. Making sure he knew the contacts of everything that was and will happen.

2: give them the chance to explain themselves.

I gave him a chance to put his actions into perspective, He said he was scared of Ratchet. Then I hurt him... I should’ve have. That goes along with rule number 3.

3: Make the consequences clearly defined.

Simply letting him know he would be whipped by showing him the Flog and telling him how many times and he was aloud to scream.

That last one is important because it sets the tone and atmosphere. Now he knew the consequences of his actions. But for him I did some fibbing and said I had planned 15 to ease him slightly. A tense body doesn’t react well with pain. Plus it gave him a sense that I can be reasoned with. I told him he could scream to make him think there would be a time I wouldn’t allow it. It’s more of a mood setter and a warning for next time. But again I do plan to strike him 10 time if he disobeys again.

I can’t let him think my words are hollow. Then he wouldn’t know when he could trust.

But I broke one of my own rules by hurting his fin. That was unacceptable, and a show of random act of cruelty. I’ll need to get that trust back. But how...

Firstly I needed to apologize, I can’t let him think that was ok on my behalf. This wasn’t a game to me, not anymore. Not when his life rests in my hands.

I want him to trust me, that I wouldn’t just hurt him if I got angry. I’d simply send him down to Hide’s place.

I’ll work on that tomorrow, with Closelens in recharge I was now free to recharge in peace.


	19. Ch 19: You’ Sorry?

Chapter 19

You’re sorry?

It was storming acid outside, the dark green clouds casted a level of gloom across all of Iacon. The weather was to dangerous for anyone to go out there, So the streets and stores were rendered empty. Everyone would be in house for the storm to pass. Shame to It looks like I won’t be see Ratchet today I said holding the Wrapper.

Jazz was in the Washrack, he was outside when it stated to rain, delivering some Datapads or something like that. He wasn’t burned too bad but he still needed to clean off.

It was kinda nice to see my Master wasn’t completely invisible.

I smiled, I had a good charge from last nights self pep talk. Seeing Jazz’s attitude as more his stile and less of lie or his actions more playful then sparkles. It didn’t help much but it’s a start.

I still couldn’t help but feel trapped and his still smirk makes me sick.

My back was feeling better too, I wouldn’t be leaning on it soon but it was healing. But I found my body to feel constantly drained the medical grade Jazz gave me made me all dopey. But I wouldn’t be caught dead complaining I’m lucky he hasn’t stopped fuelling me.

Jazz was also nice enough to give me simple chores like washing cubes, polishing up weapons or spare amour. Nothing that required lifting or bending down. It took no time so I took to the wall length window watching the rain.

I hadn’t been on Cybertron since the start of the war when I was shipped off to the farthest corner of the galaxy to work in peace. I haven’t seen a Acid storm in millions of years, it’s the little things you miss the most.

While Jazz was gone he even said I could use his speakers to listened to whatever I wanted. But every time I turn it on this... this human song comes on by some man named Rick Astley. And no matter how much I tried I couldn’t change it. It was tolerable at first but then it started to loop.

So I just shut it off.

It was rare to get a moment alone, normally there was always a sense that he was always watching me no matter what room in the house when I was cleaning. But not now I was simply safe and alone.

Few times have I ever been at peace.

But I heard the washrack stop.

I vented. Jazz was coming, even with my resolve it was still uncomfortable the thought of him loose in the house coming to get me. The sickening idea that the second in command had me on the top his priority list made me cringe. I quickly got to one of the laid out polished armour and acted like I had worked on it the hole time.

I noticed my servos started to shake I vented slowly to try and calm myself.

This will be fine. He’s not mad at me anymore, I did what he told me to do.

After a few slow moments Jazz came down stairs with his terrifying smirk. I noticed he polished himself up nicely too, very shiny.

“Hello again pet,” Jazz said taking and invading my personal space. I didn’t back off or step down, I dough he’d like it if I ran. I bowed my helm still holding the peace of armour. Jazz brought the peace closer to himself and momentarily glanced at the rest of my work.

He didn’t get to see it when he first arrived, being covered in acid and all.

“Good Job Closelens, I’m pleased.” He said giving me a small ping of pride. He gently tilted my helm up again. “No no, don’t hide yourself. Also no music?”

“I was but it kept looping this one song I couldn’t stop it so I just switched it off before I broke something,” I said in all honesty, Jazz seemed very amused. But I didn’t get it.

That I think sums up my time here.

“Heh- Sorry bad joke you wouldn’t get. Here I’ll fix it.” Jazz said as he remotely changed the song to a slow paced human track with no words. I guess it sounded nice...

“Here,” he said taking the polished armour out of my hands and put it on the table where the reset was laid out. “Let me see your left servo,”

I obeyed he placed it on his shoulder making me flinch slightly.

What was he doing?

“Keep it there and you right goes in my other one.” He said as I held hands with the other confusing me further. He put his free hand on my waste carefully to avoid any of my injuries. But I couldn’t help be tense, I didn’t know what he was doing and his hand on my waist made me nervous. What if he ripped out my fuel pump? Or anything else, my armour wasn’t the strongest especially at the waist. But he started moving slowly, I was so confused.

He laughed.

“Easy, It’s not a trap, Humans call it a slow dance,” Jazz said bringing me closer, I wasn’t allowed to keep my distance. “I move a plead forward you move one back, step to the side with me and put your- there you go. And repeat.”

I was... I was dancing with him. His powerful frame was giddy with happiness as he led me throw the steps while counting.

“1234, 1234, 1234-“ he said as we moved in time with the music. I stared at our pleads when I heard him tell me to look up. “Optics on me, now there’s more steps but we’ll wait for you to recover more. Alright...” he said gently.

“Yes Jazz,” I said keeping his pace, He couldn’t help himself and hummed along.

When the song was over he didn’t let me go, I didn’t want to do it first without being promoted.

“You know there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” he said in a semi serious tone. That definitely made me nervous. “I-I made a huge mistake...”

My spark shrunk, my optics widened.

“M-mistake?” I asked. What have I done to upset him now? I panicked in my mind. What if I’m the mistake. Primus what if he sells me... My back is slowly me down but, I’ll get better. I-I just need more time that’s all!

My chest plates tightened and I couldn’t help but shivering.

Jazz sensed my panic and brought me into a hug.

I just froze.

“Easy pet... Closelens, I’m the one who messed up. I did something to you I really shouldn’t have.” He said making me more confused. But how could he mess up? Wasn’t I just some toy to him to brake as he pleased.

Jazz’s P.O.V

I vented, I held him close to my fame. He did nothing wrong and I needed to shed myself of my pride and apologize.

I don’t do the thing I do randomly. I hand feed him so he can get comfortable trusting me to take care of him. In berth I don’t want Closelens to feel any sense of danger that I can offer up a level of safety. a dance to show him I can lead. And a apology because I’m not above the rules.

“Closelens, during your punishment. I broke your fin, I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have hurt you outside of the flog. I was a bad Master who never shouldn’t have punished you for telling me the truth. I told you before I valued it... but I... I lost control and I’m sorry you had to suffer for it.” I bowed my helm respectfully as he stared up at me confused.

“W-what?” He asked blinking a few times in disbelief.

“Closelens, I don’t do anything completely randomly. I want your trust, I want to hold you and you not be frightened I might hurt you. I want you to sleep comfortably without fearing I might attack you at any moment. But me crushing your fin, that was random and cruel.” I said hoping I wouldn’t have to explain farther. I didn’t want to give him all the cards now.

Closelens’s P.O.V

I know the sort of fresh hell I’ve been through have is the fever dream of other unfortunate mechs. But Jazz was soooo powerful, his presence so crushing that it’s easy to forget he’s just a mech. But he was apologizing for braking his own rules? That was... huge.

This mech could redefine my world on a whim. Shatter me long past my braking point and then some but he never hurt me. Scare me, absolutely But I don’t think I’ll ever get over that. It was just...

Jazz didn’t need to do anything for me. Especially now that I’m rendered practically useless. He didn’t need to give me anything, No peace of mind, but he did and wether or not I wanted to be here I was grateful for his leniency. But Autobot Jazz had bowed his helm and apologized... this was... games changing.

“That’s... thank you...” he said genuinely tearing up, he never needed to be merciful but he was regardless. This mech could brake me in sooooo many ways but didn’t out of principle. I needed to be more grateful. I needed to show him...

Jazz pulled me in tighter against his frame, he field was calm and genuine.

“Your so merciful,” I found myself saying hugging back.

“I never expected to brake you Closelens...” he ended in a purr but It didn’t scare me like normal. “You’ve been adapting so we’ll here, and I don’t brake toys that I like. You’ll get throw this mech, you will.”

The moment lasted a while, ever since he hurt me I’ve been this needy mess. I wanted to feel comfortable again. Every others time his enjoyment distracted me. It wasn’t real comfort it lie This was really, Jazz wanted me to feel better he was giving honest safety.

The feeling that things would get better. Jazz will get me through this and I really can do this. But I needed to know more about him...

“Closelens, it’s a mess outside so why don’t we just crash on the couch and we can watch a human movie. You can pick, alright,” Jazz said smoothly stepping back holding both my hands.

I don’t real know any Human stuff but whatever, I don’t care. I was just... in a good mood, and from all outward appearances so was my master. This was good...

Now I could look a Jazz from a hole new light, he was kind... he was good.

Even if this is far from what I wanted I can be grateful. Jazz was a torcher fresh from the nightmare of Cons universe wide. This could have easily been one of those nightmares but no. Jazz took care of me. He had my safety in mind and that brought me soooooo much easy. Like he said in the beginning all I have to do is obey and I’ll be safe.

That’s more then any of us Cons could hope to ask for... a little bit of mercy.


	20. Ch 20: Our Mocking Jay

Chapter 20

Our Mocking Jay

Closelens’s P.O.V

I know nothing of earth culture film or otherwise. I do think we’re superior, but I’ve never really been on board with the whole, they should be eliminated or anything. More that they needed to be taught to obey us. But the small human like races didn’t deserve the unholy thrashing we gave them. They were to simple and weak to ever be a threat, we should have just took what we needed and left.

Nothing hard about it.

I’ve never even been to earth, but I knew people were addicted to there media wether it be movies, tv shows, cartoons, comics etc. I never thought anything of it other then it being a waste of time. But Jazz asked me to pick a movie to watch with him, what started as one became 4.

And they hit a little to close to home for my taste, but dammit I empathize...

That’s probably what surprised me most. I empathize with a organic, I didn’t think they could  
do or make anything as complex as this.

The story felt like our own.

A evil one present using horrible means to keep the masses to scared, when a person with a mining history rose with as little as one long range weapon and a symbol to inspire revolution. So many brave souls died to be free.

Except here, they won. Sure the ending was messy but they were free in the end.

No, my Mocking Jay was killed.

He was killed and our symbol became little more then a slave brand. The crushing atmosphere felt almost nostalgic.

I leaned on Jazz again for the most of it recalling the first time I read a miners essays calling into question the status quo. Filling my head with rebellious thoughts as the cruel governments pushed on us message saying we were happy. Telling us that our shape served a purpose. That those who denounced our T-cogs was denounces Primus himself and other little lies.  
Under our city’s were messed up facilities to destroy minds that question to much. The shadow play the corruption that poisoned our planet to the core long before there were Autobot and Decepticon.

I never met Megatron but I wish I did. He was the only person who ever told me I could be more then a microscope. And for that I’ll never be more grateful...

Jazz held my hand for the most of the experience. He probably notice my unease during multiple parts of the films plus because I couldn’t lean on the couch I probably looked on the edge of my seat.

At the end I just sat there taking everything in, new and old information. Jazz went to turn it off when it was over.

“So what did you think,” he said looking back over only to see my Optics forming lubricants to only send them streaming down my face plate. He looked confused at first but Jazz wasn’t a idiot. He he spent most his time watching me react. Jazz reached out with a sympathetic look and I ran to him And probably for the millionth time I cried on him.

This pain was elsewhere, my spark my tank everywhere except my back.

“What’s eating at ya Closelens?” He asked softly.

“I want my leader back,” I sobbed, I wanted someone to inspire me again, Really inspirer me. The War gave me hope that Megatron would make good on all the things he wrote about. All the hate and prejudice, the pain and suffering. That old world of lies and despair would burn and in a way he kept his promise to us. The Senate was no more, but it was reborn. This time I’m wearing the shackles placed apron us by them instead of figurative ones.

“Shhhhh it ok-“

“You killed our Mocking Jay,” I sobbed, but that wasn’t the part that hurt... “and I’m glad secretly glad you did.”

I felt Jazz stiffen, he was confused But I thought it would be clear why.

“Megatron died long before your leader killed him, he promised us sooo much but it was more then clear that he’d never deliver. It stoped being about our freedom a long time ago but I was to much of a cowered to run. I was scared of being sent to Shockwave or on the DJD’s list or anything like that. Even if I’m trapped and scared to be here I’m glad I lived to the end.” I poured my spark out. Jazz was confused but said nothing. It’s true here was scary but what was the alternative? Optimus will win over the consul and win our freedom. My hope rests with the Autobot now and...

“Closelens, I promise you This won’t be forever, soon you will be free. Please... just keep me happy and You’ll be safe.” He said in a weak voice making something hit me. Some curiosity...

“Jazz, why me?” I whispered in quiet in a quiet tones.

“Because... I wanted you.” Jazz purred darkly in a way that made me shiver.

“...”

What could I say in response? I was to frightened to say anything, my mind a blank. 

That was scrap. He was lying... where did that come from? But my mouth ran on autopilot.

“Who did this to you?” I asked simply Jazz went quiet... when suddenly Jazz pushed me against the nearest wall and had me by the throat just above the collar with a intensely dark field of rage self loathing and pure darkness. Jazz’s frame trapped me in a field of black making me realize I made a mistake. Jazz had no readable expression making it all the more horrifying I was frozen staring up at his cold expression. My frame was reminded of the pain in my back when he sent me into the wall but was ignored by more pressing concerns. I looked up at the mech grabbing his wrists gently with my shake servos.

“Jazz?” I said frightened. Just because Jazz had rules didn’t mean he had to fallow them. He could kill me anytime he wanted. But his wasn’t cutting off my vents or stoping my fuel lined. He was just holding me there with his rage.

And like that he stopped. He let go and backed off.

“Jazz?” I said again a little less hopelessly and more concerned. Jazz was having some sort of... what, PTSD episode.  
He started to vent rapidly.

“Get to Ironhide’s...” he said looking away from me. I didn’t mean to make him upset, but I didn’t know what to do. He didn’t hurt me but he looked like he was holding himself back. He had his servos in a fist.

“I’m sorry,” I said in my most softest, sincere voice I could.

“GO!” He shouted without another word I ran, I tried to remember the code. In a blind panic my mind scrambled for it.

594... something!

5947

Denied

5941

Denied

5944

Denied

I was at a lost frantically pushing number cursing myself for being stupid. My mind was blurred with blind panic. I pressed myself against the door struggling to open it. I sank to the ground looking up at Jazz in terror.

A long moment past of me sitting on the floor ignoring the pain in my back silently begging with big optics.

Jazz stud there in the middle of the room with his back still turned to me. Slowly venting... His field was full of sadness, loneliness, depression and despair. The wight and black mech shucks being overwhelmed in emotional distress. Before it calmed down...

But it did so to fast, it felt artificial and manipulated. He wasn’t fine... not even close. Not so quickly either, it was as smooth as glass...

He turned tears running down his faceplate.

“I’m sorry about that, I won’t hurt you... but I... I won’t be able to confirm your safety. Treat this like the third most important conversation we had. Don’t ask about my past, just... don’t.” He said in a happy Jazz voice but his smile looked more hurt then anything. To tone still carried a lot with it, it was shaky, unsure.

Primus what happened.

The mech wipes his face when I approach him with open arms. Just like he did for me.

“I’m sorry too, I promise I won’t,” I said, he slowly trusted himself to hug me for support. His field was still lying to me. But it didn’t matter. I felt a smile on my face plate.

Now this... this made Jazz happy.

It was nice to not be the only one who could be emotionally vulnerable.

But Jazz did let go with his cool revitalize.

“Thank you Closelens,” He said with a nod.

Jazz’s P.O.V

How stupid of me, I’m the master I shouldn’t show such weakness. I almost hurt him again, Pits he was so scared he couldn’t even use the code to get out. What if I did snap? Dame it! This is why I have this system in the first place.

I walked off to my berth, I needed to lay down a second and compose myself.

I looked outside to the rain, it’s been years since I’ve seen a storm this bad. I do hope it clears up by tomorrow, I’d like to have him to go see Ratchet and get him some new paint, I got everything I needed for the party. Lots of alcohol grade, even more music to choose from.

Tomorrow should be stressful, letting Closelens chose the movies was a bad idea. I hate those kinds of films. They clearly struck a cord with him that leading to this hole mess.

No, he didn’t know any better. He never wanted to pick in the first place.

Thought it’s interesting, Closelens saw Megatron as Katniss... The Mocking Jay.

I snickered

Dose that make Starscream Peeta and what, Tarn, Gail.

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Closelens, he joined the Cons for good reason but failed to leave when it started to be all about killing the organics. I want to ask him more questions but... 

I don’t want him to relive his memories if it’ll hurt him like me...

The truth was, no one did this to me... Sort of... I became this monster slowly over time during the was when...

I vented heavily.

I need him to understand that, I’m just... not ready to talk, I don’t know if I’ll ever be.


	21. Ch 21: Unease

Chapter 21

Unease

Closelens’s P.O.V

My back was mostly healed up on the surface but I was still very tender. Jazz yesterday had calm down a good deal, I wasn’t going to do anything stupid and ask question about anything other then if he’s alright. He gave me a winning smile that looked so face it hurt to pretend it was real.

Regardless there was no point not playing along.

Jazz said he had a treat for me, but I instantly recognized the path, we were off to go see Ratchet!

Oh I was excited.

I’m sure he’ll be glad to see I’m ok, relatively speaking. Jazz was happy too, he said after that we going to some place special. I didn’t know wether that was a good or bad thing but He didn’t make it sound ominous or anything so I trust it won’t hurt.

I held hands with Jazz so he’d trust I wouldn’t go running off, but I did find myself get closer to him if we pass any other Autobots. Jazz still found my fear in other Autobot adorable but I couldn’t be bothered to be bothered.

When we got to the hospital Firstaid went past us with a Con in recharge, looked like she just got out of surgery. That’s when I saw Ratchet talking to a mech I recognized as Ultra Magnus. I didn’t here what they were talking about but he walked past us giving me a look that had me hugging Jazz’s arm. He was a mech with a president like No other from the sheer size of him alone.

Ratchet approach us looking so tired he borderline looked ready to pass out. However Jazz looked taken aback by it to at least.

“Dame Ratch, what happened to you?” Jazz asked concerned grabbing Ratchet’s arm.

“18 hour spine surgery, she should be ok.” He said rubbing his face plate.

“Will you be ok?” Jazz asked aggressively. I continued to look up in shock, this mech was in no condition to continue working. There was doing late hours, then there was doing all the hours.

“I’m fine-“

“Don’t give me that, Closelens go follow Firstaid, let him point you in the right direction. Ratchet we need to talk, now.” Jazz said in a semi serious voice. I was hesitant but I didn’t want a repeat the last time I was to frightened to go with a medic so I chased off after Firstaid.

Jazz’s P.O.V

I was disappointed, as the kind of bot who always told us to not do stupid stuff how could he then turn around and do stupid stuff. No beating around the bush I wanted answers...

“Ratchet, why are you killing yourself? This isn’t healthy and I don’t need to be a doctor to know that.”

“It’s... It’s complicated,” the old medic whispered

“Is it Drift? Astrotrain? The twins? Optimus?” I asked

“Jazz don’t lecture me about this ok, it’s not as bad as it look. I didn’t get much rest on my last brake and she came in on the cusp of death. It was kinda nice to work on a real patient. Also I’m going home to sleep, I know I said I wanted to check up on your little mech but I’m in no condition to help him.” Ratchet said making me nod my helm.

“Good,” I said. Ratchet was a tuff cookie but it was nice to see he was getting better, gotta wonder what’s change. He looked at me with a soft smile. “I told Drift, heh, I didn’t think such a young mech would ever go for a dusty old relic like me...”

“He’s lucky to have you Ratch, we all are,” I said earnestly as Ratchet turned to leave. I’m glad he was able to tell Drift, it’s not like much will change. The two we’re pretty much inseparable to begin with. I just hope the speedster could convince him he needed to take better care of himself.

Now I needed to figure out were my Closelens went...

Closelens’s P.O.V

FirstAid set me up in a room to myself, at least tell one of the staff could come and find me or until Jazz tracked me down.

It’s a shame Ratchet was likely not going to take a look at me but it still shouldn’t have been bad. The door and a bot I definitely recognized came in.

I hopped to my feet and saluted.

“Good morning Soundwave sir!” I said like any good Decepticon would. The big mech just looked down at me. Likely trying to figure out who I was.

“There’s no need for that, Soundwave and Closelens equal rank now,” he said in his hollow voice. I did stand at easy as he gestured to sit on the berth.

He looked through a data pad, before looking back at me.

“Closelens: burned by a electric flog, damage: report,” Soundwave said as I turned around to show him my back.

“Scanning for improper healing, Request: Keep still.” He told me. Soundwave was one of the most scary mechs on my side. So this was kinda odd him playing nurse with Ratchet. I assume Ratchet taught him the ropes and gives him easy work like me.

 

But it was so difficult to imagine Ratchet as a slave owner.

“Soundwave sir, may I ask you something... a little personal,” I asked.

“Go ahead,” he said

“Is... is Ratchet good to you?” I asked timidly.

“Yes, Ratcht: is kind, merciful,” he said surprisingly sounding sincere. “Kept Soundwave and a  
Cassettes together. Gave all jobs and decent pay. Soundwave: doesn’t feel like slave and for that Soundwave: is grateful.”

“That’s good, he seems nice,” I nodded as he scanned.

“Damages: healing nicely, What weapon were you hit with?” He asked complaining the scan.  
“Some sort of electric flog,” I explained, I don’t know the name of it. Honestly I wish I didn’t have to remember it.

“I don’t see Closelens here often,” He said probably asking me the same question.

“My Master is Autobot Jazz, he’s-“

Just then Jazz opened the door.

“Closelens?” He asked peeking his head in. I gave him a small wave, but his optics were on Soundwave.

“Hey ‘Waves how are ya,” he asked in a really mean mocking tone.

“Soundwave: is... unharmed,” he answered but quickly moved on to me again. “Report: healing well. Closelens: will make full recovery.”

“That good to hear, and his audio fin?” Jazz asked

“Damage: non permanent, will likely take longer.” Soundwave said ignoring this odd tone Jazz was using. It was... odd. The fake friendliness was so unJazz, normal he just behaved like himself.

“Anything else you’d like to know,” Soundwave said

“No, but I’d like to know if it’s ok to paint it now,” Jazz asked i looked up at him and blinked.  
Paint?

“Yes: the surface is no longer open, paint can be applied,” Soundwave said very dryly. 

“Damaged fin: later date.”

“Hear that pet, we can make you all nice and shiny for my party tonight.” He said invading my personal space. Also oh I guess that party is today. I was wondering when that was happening. 

I gave a small nod but didn’t really have anything to add.

“My only recommendation is Closelens: stays off your back and apply little pressure to it,” Soundwave added to take Jazz’s attention off of me.

“Thanks Soundwave, will that be all?” Jazz asked, again I was surprised by the degree of rude tone Jazz had. Soundwave nodded no almost helplessly, it was hard to watch this dignified powerful mech being treated like this.

“Good, lets go Closelens,” Jazz said in his bitter tone grabbing my hand and almost hurrying me out of there. I was so confused, Soundwave was harmless now why was Jazz... running?

When we got out of the hospital I continued to look at him confused, he looked over to me.

“What?” He asked

“What just happened in there?” I asked confused, kinda upset by his actions. I’m used to him being cruel and controlling but not to other people. I may have came off a bit to demanding then he probably liked but he just ignored it.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“You were so... not you’re self,” I asked.

“Heh, well it just so happens Soundwave was a bit of my rival during the war. He hurt one of my underlying, Mirage. Hacked him for information in a way that deleted a lot of his core programming making him... messed up.” Jazz said, he smiled weekly. “He would tell them anything no mater how much pain they put him through. I trained him well...”

I blinked a few times, Jazz seemed to care about this game Mirage. His field was... sad. I held his arm again in a attempt to comfort him. Jazz still had a weak smile on his faceplate.

“Is he still alive?” I asked

“No, but in war sometimes you have to be the one who makes the hard choices,” Jazz said making me feel sorry for him. I understood what he meant, mercy kills...

I’ve been fortunate to never have anyone to lose. During was there were rivals, revenge and tragedy horrors some soldier that never really made it back. But I was luck enough to never have to see any of it. Jazz had to make life or death calls that wouldn’t have had the strength, I couldn’t pretend to muster.

“I was lucky I had Optimus to help me throw those sorts of things, to tell me I made the right call.” Jazz said as we continued talking.

This wasn’t his big secret but I was wearing at him.

“So have you thought of the colours you want?” He asked changing subjects. Dame it!

“Oh, I-I’d figured you’d pick for me,” I said a little embarrassed. I had that little faith he’d care about my opinion on that. He calls me demeaning names like pet or toy so I kinda figured-  
“I’m not that much of a control freak, unless you want me to pick,” he said with a evil smirk.

“No, I-I’m fine, but... I kinda like my colours, maybe a turquoise trim instead of yellow... and a more purple’y burgundy like a maroon or...” now I was trying to remember shade names.

Jazz chuckled “Well you don’t have to chose eminently, Sunstreaker will have plenty there to chose from.”

I was actually kinda excited now. I never had a paint job from a real professional, Pits I did most of this myself and... well it kinda showed. My only worry was going to Sunstreaker, he had a reputation for being a self worshipping all powerful aft kicker. Him and his brother being some of the Autobots finest examples of fighters. But rumours also said Sunstreaker had a bit of a temper, that makes me nervous for whoever the twin chose as slave.

But I know Jazz wasn’t going to let someone hurt me, Primus he got me away from Soundwave faster then I could remember they probably had history.

That tugged at me a little.

Aww Jazz did like me, I had my own big bad Autobot to protect me from other scary mechs like Soundwave. That was a nice thought I couldn’t help but smile at...

So I guess it was off to go get dolled up for a party. Oh boy how will that go, little me trapped in Jazz’s place with a hole bunch of the most powerful Autobots. If that doesn’t sound like a panic attack waiting too happen I’d be kidding myself.


	22. Ch 22: Every Colour

Chapter 22

Every Colour

Closelens’s P.O.V

We walked our way throw a lot of the lower part of Iacon it was still a messy war zone and same with the maintenance district. I felt bad that I was kinda making Jazz walk all this way for me. But he whistled as he walked and his field seemed calm, but... before... I know a trick when I see it. I mean I don’t think he’s bipolar or anything like that. But he was totally controlling his field.

A breeze went past me, it was nice outside. And I certainly didn’t mind stretching my lags. But Jazz was probably missing his altmode by now. Speaking of-

Plenty of people recognize Jazz and openly saluted him, some even came over to start small talk. I promptly hid when this would happen as not to come off as getting in there way, literal or not. Kind like how I bumped into Springer at the hospital.

Jazz liked how skittish I am so at least It won’t annoy him, I won’t forget who he is any time soon.

We did finally make it to this busted up shot at rusted looking garage with a chain linked fence with barbed wire at the tops. Everything had a ghetto paint job over it mixed with professional art that gave it a look, a flare of style.

You could smell paint fumes in the air and hear music playing form inside. Among all that you could also hear various yell too. I looked to Jazz curiosity but he didn’t seem all that fazed, the voices got more clearer as we got closer.

“-No, dose that looked like Egyptian blue to you? That’s there is Cobalt!” I heard a mech yell

“Hey hey! You are wrong supreme dictator, I used CaCuSi4O10 that’s more Egyptian then anything your stupid humans could make! Period,” a another voice said with a similar ascent to Rumble and Frenzy. Jazz halted me just outside the door looking straight ahead.

There was a dreaded sound of a distant charge from a collar as well as a cry out in pain and a heavy thud. I couldn’t help but flinched. I consider myself fortunate that no one ever needed to use my collar, at least with any sense that I needed a long charge. Jazz only charged it for a second before shocking me, and the was nothing.

In comparison.

“Don’t rase your voice to me slave, if don’t like your paint then you apologize and make it again. Am I clear,” the other voice said making me have a nervous feeling all throughout my gut. I heard a faint sigh.

“Yes Master,”

Just then Jazz opened one the door inside which was surprisingly real nice... maybe the outside is some sort of fancy artistic expression or whatever. Jazz waved over to this gorgeous yellow bot who waved back. I swiftly hid behind him in fear. I looked over to a green and purple giant mech on the floor... Mixmaster? Shouldn’t he be with the others rebuilding the city? He pulled himself up and looked directly at me. He looked so beat up and a mess, he was covered in different types of paint. He looked at me with a sympathetic look likely because he say me come in with Jazz. And gave me a small wave, I did the same in return.

Jazz was a frightening mech for sure but he never but I never... well I never tried to raise my voice above a audible tone.

I noticed Jazz had moved towards Sunstreaker so I quickly ran back to his side.

“-I can’t wait for your party tonight,” The Yellow mech said messing around with his tools. “So, the usual then.”

“Actually no, I was hoping to freshen up my pet I want him to look nice in front of my guests,” Jazz said making my temperature rise. I didn’t want to be here anymore, I didn’t want to be the centre of attention. But now thanks to Jazz I had to step up.

“Aww he’s so cute, yeh so colours are over there on the wall pick out what you want. I timidly did just that.

“Oh don’t bother picking Egyptian blue, we’re out of it,” he glared over at Mixmaster who frantically getting back to work.

Jazz’s P.O.V

Sunstreaker wasn’t the worst master out there to be sure but he’s is shock happy. I probably should have prepared Closelens before we got here. I didn’t think I’d have too. Sunstreaker disappeared in the back

I watched Closelens concentrate on his colour holding some shade of red slightly off from his normal one.

Sunstreaker meanwhile came back played with his tools.

“No Sideswipe eh,” I noticed during the war they where inseparable so it was kinda a unsettling to see one without the other.

“Yeah, probably pissing off Prowl or drag racing, Or some how both.” He said with a snickers

“Dose he take Spinister with him?” I asked, The Con did have a form of special needs and Sideswipe was nice to give him a home here.

“No, he’s wonders off to much and picks fights too easily, he’s in the back with a little task I gave him,” he said

“Yeah,” I said surprise. Sunstreaker wasn’t exactly known for his patients and I seriously doubt he’d tolerate a Con with special needs. I’d expect him to lock Spinister up while his twin is out so he wouldn’t have to deal with him.

“Yep, a simple art projects that’s all. If he’s going to stay I need a little more help then just clean up. And he can’t mix paint without making it wrong or a mess.”

I chose to leave it alone, but I did notice that along one of the walls there was what I can only describe as children like artwork. It was kinda cute, with crude stick figures and big blocky shapes. they were next to what I assume Sunstreakers Sideswipe and Mixmaster’s art. One was clearly not like the others.

“So, I didn’t expect you of all people to get yourselves a slave,” He said, which makes sense. I was on the hole Cons shouldn’t be slaves side. Clearly something has changed.

“Cutie isn’t he,” I said with a wide grin, no doubt.

“I don’t recognize him, What’s his altmod?” He asked

“Microscope,” I said

“Oh,”

I looked at him with a little of a glare.

“Pit’s dose that supposed to mean?” I asked a little offended

“Well you know, the little guys that just put on the badge more to avoid conflict then to join it,” he said but I know what he’s doing.

“He’s not a cowered, Primus that’s part of the reason I like him so much. I wouldn’t waste my time on him otherwise.”

“Look I’m sorry I didn’t mean anything by it, I just assumed that’s why he’s so timid,” Sunstreaker said holding up his servos. “You know I’d never disrespect you.”

“Yeah,” I said with a vent.

“So why did you get the pipsqueak,” he asked.

I’ve asked myself that a lot but, I did it because I wanted to say it was to protect some little Con who’d be eaten alive otherwise. Give them a fighting chance but there was a more... darker purpose. I wanted to own someone weaker then me, because I wanted to be needed. But it felt a little more then that now too.

I guess in a way I’ve changed, at least a little.

I adore Closelens, he’s taken everything so well and he’s so sweet. He has a unmistakable purity to him, even if he did some awful things in the past. There was always a real softness to him.

When I told him about Mirage he comforted me same with the night before. Probably stupid of me but I like to imagine that he... liked me. But how could I expect that after the hell and high water I put him throw. I need to be nicer I need to be more gentle. This will help, I know how I feel with a new paint job so this will give him more confidence but I need to make sure he holds onto it better.

I liked the idea of him liking me, whatever that meant.

My mind brought something up, He probably only did it because he doesn’t want me upset. His job is to keep me happy. He also tried to give himself to me with that fake kiss. He was only nice to me because he doesn’t want to die. Last night he couldn’t get the keypad to work, he was trapped and scared of me, of corse he’d try and calm me down. I torcher Closelens with mind games. He can’t fight back all, his only option he has it to is lay there and hope I don’t go to far.

That pinged guilt in me. I felt dirty...

But really what reason dose he have other then “ Welp, at least he’s not physically braking me to bad,”

As for Sunstreaker, I just decided to play it cool.

“I wanted him and like you said he’s cute so why not,” I said with a smirk leaning back against the counter.

Sunstreaker was about to say something but Closelens approached slowly unsure of himself. He had in his hands a few colours he picked out and didn’t know what to do next. But Sunstreaker held out his hand.

“Let’s see them,” he said as Closelens quietly handed to them to the yellow mech as if he was frightened he’d gab his servo if he was to slow. He then went back behind me. Sunstreaker looked them over and nodded. “I can work with this, Come with me.”

He disappeared behind the counter. He looked at me watching for a ok to follow, with a nod he ran to catch up. I looked over to Mixmaster cooking up some sort of mad science paint when he noticed me watching him.

“Uh, you want to sit down or something, sir?” He asked

I figured I would. Sunstreaker knows better then to hurt my pet. At least he better.

Closelens’s P.O.V

I really felt uncomfortable without Jazz, I felt unguarded. It made me feel sick and vulnerable. But I wasn’t going to let that scare me into disobedience like with Ratchet. I know to be more scared of Jazz than any other mech.

I really did have a good set up with Jazz, I’m lucky. I’d rather be with him then be Sunstreaker’s, even if I do like art. He took me into a large room with plastic rap and art supplies for normal painting and stencil work. I didn’t want nothing fancy like that, I was a microscope not a mode of transportation.

There was someone working in the back, A Decepticon I didn’t recognize. but they seemed to be working on a peace of art on a canvas. It was a small group of 6 and a large... was that Grimlock? It was hard to tell, they were all crude stick figures. He looked at me frightened, Sunstreaker noticed and came over to him.

“He’s not dangerous, no tackling!” He said before turning to me.

“You look like a aggressive shape to him,” he said flatly. I didn’t even know how to respond.

“O-oh, Sorry?” I said confused.

“Don’t be he’s a just a idiot, explains why my brother wanted him,” he chuckled

“Your brother, Sideswipe right?” I asked pretty sure of myself.

“Yeah,” he looked at the sample and rearguard them, “Theas won’t look to different from how you look down or do you want to invert the colures,” he asked, I shock my helm.

“No sir, I’d like to just slightly change them, o-or is there a paint problem?” I asked

“There’s always a paint problem. Pits we need to make it ourselves because no one else dose,” He said looking over his paints and grabbing the Maroon and other shades of it for the different layers of armour.

It didn’t take him long, I was a small mech. Something I wasn’t expecting was for the Maroon to sparkle and not a flat shine. It wasn’t normal for my model which made me worried Jazz wouldn’t like it. microscope don’t spark! But it would be a lie if I’d say I completely hated it. It was pretty...

Same with the Teal trim, it popped nicely same with the yellow highlights. It was nice. I hope Jazz is ok with it. Sunstreaker let me stand in front of a mirror to look at myself. I really liked it... even if I didn’t look to different.

“Well then, tell me how good I did,” he said knowing I looked nice.

“You did a amazing job, thank you sir,” I said politely bowing my helm in respect. After taking another look at myself he led me out to the waiting room where Jazz was reading a scroll.

“Ta da!” Sunstreaker said presenting me clearly in a better mood then at the start. That’s how you know you lover your job. Jazz looked really happy to see how I looked and asked me to twirl for him. He payed Sunstreaker what he owed and we were on our way.

I was a little nervous at first but I’m glad he liked it. But I did make me wonder, why? Why waste money on me, no one cared what I looked like. I couldn’t help but think that as we walked home. He noticed my confusion in my field.

“Hey, you ok?” He asked

“I’m better then fine actually I’m- it’s just... Why did you bother get me painted. N-Not that I’m not grateful I love it, it’s just... I’m just a toy,” I said.

“Heh, do think so little of me, why would I want a all scraped up pet to present to my friends. I want them to know I take good care of you. Your worth it because of how good you are and that worth rewarding. Sides I have a reputation to up hold, last thing I want them to think is that am a negligent master...” He said with a purr.

Oh

I see.

This was no different then getting on my knees for a treat. I’m just a doll for him to play dress up. Nothing has changed.

Well at least he’s happy.

My paint now felt uncomfortable now, wrong.

Jazz’s P.O.V

Why do I do that to him, why am I such a idiot. The hole point of this was to boost his self image not snuff it where it once stud.

I needed a recovery.

“Oh, don’t look so down, I’m kidding. Gosh you take me so serious.” I said with a smile while yelling at myself on the inside.

Of corse he takes this serious! He thinks one wrong move will trigger me and there’ll be hell to pay. I am the god of his world, slave to my whim. His judge jury and executioner. Just say something nice and honest for once and shut it.

“You look really nice Closelens, I... I wanted to see you happy,” I honestly and looked forward. I felt him look up at me confused. He couldn’t tell if I was serious or just another sarcastic dig.

Why do I over complicate things I need a new plan of atta-

“I actually wanted to be a artist,” I heard him say softly.

I looked down to see him playing with his hands nervous. Clearly unsure if it was okay to talk.

“I was never very good at it, everyone told me my shape served a purpose,” he said kindly.

“Yeah, do you still want to try it. I’m sure once you get your freedom I could convince Sunstreaker’s to apprentice you or something,” I said friendly. I’m sure he’d love the opportunity to show off to someone.

“You’d do that for me?” He asked

“Corse,” I said then it dawned on me. I-... I think this is our first real conversation. Let’s not stop now...

“Ware did you live before the war,” I asked.

“Helix, You,” he asked before giving me a frightened look bowing his helm. “N-no I-I’m sorry, p-please don’t answer that. I should have known better.”

I blinked when I remembered I asked him not to ask about my past. I closed my optics for a moment. It was a honest question, and before the war my life was good. Be it a bit lost... this was fine.

“It’s ok, just... no war stuff alright,” I asked nicely it was a honest innocent question no malice. I wasn’t going to punish him for that small of a misstep, one especially one he immediately corrected.

“Absolutely, again so sorry,” he said shivering. He was scared of me, good. I doubt I’ll have to punish him twice unless he dose something stupid.

“I came from Staniz, So music’s always been in my code so I that’s what I used to be, a musician.” I said he looked at me.

“Did you like it,” he asked

“Of corse I did, heck that’s when I changed my name,” I said with a chuckle. In human dialect it only roughly translated to Jazz.

“What about you?” I asked

“Scientist,” he said bitterly

“Didn’t like it?” I asked sarcastically.

He explained everything to me, And his past and why he joined the Cons.

“I never was able to be anything else, and when I tried well... the punch line is right in front of you,” he said sadly. I get it and I could empathize, the Cons did start from a Noble place. I just got bad later.

“Listen to me, I may have lucked out early but if life has taught me anything, it’s that nothing is forever. You will get your freedom you will be Sunstreaker’s apprentice and you will get ware you want to be. Promise.” I said and I said meaning it.

Closelens’s P.O.V

I looked up in aww, Jazz didn’t strike me as a liar. He’s kept his word on every account rather it be good or bad. He took care of me when I behaved and broke me when I was bad. This mech’s word was good for it. This scary powerful mech promised to help me get where I needed to go.

And Primus I believe him...


	23. Ch 23: The Dance and Fall (Part 1)

Chapter 23

The Dance and Fall (part 1)

Jazz was so excited, he was having issues finishing off his play list for the night with a max of 40 songs 2-5 minutes in length. It was kind sweet how he’d get lose because he got stuck on one soundtracks he liked.

He made sure to remind me how I was supposed to behave around guests. No sitting on furniture, no being rude, speak if talked to, smile and stay close to Jazz.

Simple enough.

I was responsible for welcoming at the door so whenever anybody buzzed, I had to get up and let them in. But I was always within sight of Jazz so I didn’t get as scared as I thought I would. Ratchet came with his conjunx endura? Who was nice enough to complement my paint and to offer me a... aura reading later. Ironhide was really jolly, likely had a few drinks before he came over. More and more showed up they all for the most part treated me nicely. But I’d be lying if I wasn’t screaming on the inside at some of them like Arcee and Whealjack.

I was shocked to see Springer...

Who invited him?

I doubt it was Jazz but I sure as pits not going to tell him to leave. The large wrecker leader loomed over me making me take a step back.

“Hello sir, welcome,” I said as friendly as I could.

“Hey, aren’t you from the hospital?” He asked clearly remembering me bumping into him.

“Yes sir, I’m sorry about that,” I said quietly but I know he could hear me.

“What’s that?” He said pretending he didn’t catch what I said moving closer. I was nervous, what do I do. I needed Jazz. No no, I can handle this.

“Yes sir, I’m sorry sir,” I repeated louder as he asked. He shot me a evil smirk before walking past me bumping into my shoulder. I wasn’t going to start something over this... I just kept quiet. I had to vent and reminded myself to remember what Jazz said about not wanting me to do something stupid in front of his friends.

Just let it go, for once I could be the bigger person, ‘side Jazz will see him here and probably kick him out.

I went back to sitting beside his pleds watching Jazz on the couch. He was just laughing with Bumblebee, Smokescreen and Sideswipe. he drinking a shot of alcohol grade when a new song started to play. His visor lit up with excitement. He practically ran off the couch and back on the dance floor where everyone made way.

He began showing off his incredible dancing, moving to the beat of the song and... I mean wow. He moved with grace looking as if he was in his own little world. I could only dream for self confidence like that, I couldn’t help but find that a little attractive. Speaking of... Damn that body, I know he was flexible but... I was mesmerized, I felt my temperature rise as His field was so big I could practically taste his happiness.

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me smile.

I’ve never really looked at Jazz like this. Pits I’ve never seen him like this! Everyone else was amazed as well with the constant cheering his name.

I was brought back to the real world when I heard the buzzer go off, a ping of sadness hit as I quickly got to the do to open it when...

I froze in my fresh horror before the giant, his brilliant blue optics looked down on me I dropped to my knees and bowed.

“T-thank you for coming Lord Prime,” I said making sure I was loud and clear enough. I mean wow I wasn’t ready for this. I don’t think someone as fantastical would grace visiting here. This was the Prime... even if Jazz was his Second in command I never thought...

I felt stupid, of corse this would happen. I mean why not!

Fresh memories of the round up day rolled back in my memory. Being apprehended by the Autobot guards and dragged back to Cybertron to face trial. Being found innocent of war crimes while my senior officer was to be put to death along with others who broke war laws.

The first few months communication across all of Cybertron were dark because of some Decepticon uprising. And Because of bad communication the Prime had went prison to prison to tell us we all wouldn’t be executed to save on fuel. But he had convinced the ones in charge to spare us, but at the cost of our freedom. Many of us actually did everything they could to get on the death row refusing to be slaves. Fort Max had the best set up the System of a behaviour check. I was always a green prisoner, so I was always safe. The news only made me feel, numb...

Now here I was, before the leader of the Autobots, chosen one of Primus. I couldn’t help but be fearful, this mech was strong enough to kill Megatron my chosen leader.

“Please, their is no need to bow to me. I’m looking for Jazz,” he said in his gently but powerful voice.

And his voice, Everyone talked about it. It was wisdom is strength how it could make the universe stop just to listen. It could easily trick me to lose my guard but I’d obeyed, Primus I’ll do whatever he asked. When I got to my feet before the frighteningly tall figure, my body trembled aggressively. I almost was ready to cry but... Jazz said not to be a mess.

“Yes Lord Prime, Please follow me.” I said with a slight glitch in my voice, A few heavy vents and I led him to the dance floor. Pits I didn’t even notice he was with Autobot Hound. It pained me to interrupt Jazz while he was having so much fun, thankfully the Prime did it for me.

“Jazz we need to talk,” Optimus said but Jazz didn’t stop immediately.

“Hey O.P I didn’t expect you to come over,” he smiled.

“We need to talk in private,” he said making me nervous.

The four of us made our was to Jazz’s study which was normally off limits to the party guests as what’s his berth room. Hound gave me a nasty look,

“You, what are you doing go.” He said pointing to the door. I wasn’t sure what to do so I just looked at Jazz nervously.

“No no, it’s fine,” Jazz said defensively as I felt his arms pull me to him. I had my back against him and his hands on my chest, holding me from behind. “He can hear this.”

Hound just glared.

“As I said I’d prefer this be a private matter,” Optimus said asking me to leave. I looked back to Jazz who... I think had the final word.

“Closelens, go outside and wait for me,” he said letting me go. I ran out as to not waist the mechs time and stood outside across from the close door. The music and the people was plenty loud to drown them out making it impossible to ease drop on...

Jazz’s P.O.V

“I again ask that you join us on the second console,” Optimus said “I am sorely in need of someone if someone who can read these people. Writing you notes is ineffective.”

It hadn’t been the first but he’d ask.

“I already told you the answer is no. I’m sorry, I can’t stand politics,”I said to no ones surprise. “If you need a recommendation, ask Prowl. He’d love this sort of stuff.” Hound rolled his optic, I shot him a glare. If he knows better he’ll keep his mouth shut. I wasn’t interested in hearing his stupid nonsense guilt tripping.

“Like I said sir, it’s to hard for Jazz. Anything that might damage his reputation is,” Hound said knowing vary well he was going to start something.

“Maybe I’m just sick of cleaning up your messes,” Jazz hissed back gently reminding who his superior officer was.

“Oh is that what you call killing Mirage? Cleaning a mess?” Hound corrected making me flinch. Oh he was going there was he... now let see if he had the bearings to mention-

“Enough, Hound you said you could handle this professionally,” Optimus said Hound glared at me in anger, there was more to this. But he was done.

“Fine, maybe I can’t,” He said stepping off. “Nice party Jazz, I hope you and your shine new frag toy have fun, it wouldn’t be the first.”

He is luck O.P was here before I lost my cool. My servos balled into first. Hound better leave before he really makes me upset, and that he did. I looked up at Optimus who looked mildly disappointed.

I hated that look, especially on him.

“Optimus I’d be happy to serve on your consul,” I said bitterly unable to hide my field as it flared up in anger, I wanted Hound to stick it.

“I know you two have your differences but please remember humility, don’t join a caws out of spite. Don’t hesitate to call me when you’ve made up your mind. We’re all worried about you Jazz... all of us.” Optimus said as he moved to leave.

“Aren’t you going to stay?” I asked with a sad voice, my field for a moment reached out for my Prime. I-I didn’t expect him to show up in the first place but I always sent him a invite just in case.

I’d be a big fat liar if I said I wasn’t missing him, Primus I worked with the mech nearly every day with undying love and loyalty but ever since... I messed up.

He hasn’t looked at me the same. A lot of mechs had a crush on him and I could see why but...

I don’t know I thought we had a connection of some sort, I thought I was over it but. Optimus inspired the best of me, helped me while hurt be it physical or emotional. But, he’d do the same for anyone. I wasn’t anything special, Primus knows I don’t deserve a mech so... wonderful.

I respected him like Ratchet but loved him like few others.

No Jazz, you got past this a long time ago. What are you doing mech?

I was over it for the most part but he came closer to me. My feeling couldn’t help but resurface all over again.

“Are you alright Jazz?” He asked I couldn’t help but smile sadly. How long have I wanted for him to hold me, how long did I want him to sooth away my fears. But... he never saw me like that, the crazy part is I’d still die for this mech. I’d tare out my own spark if he asked...

He and Ratchet were the only ones I told the rest just became a nasty rumour.

“No sir,” I said in a small voice. He blinked a few times, he held my shoulder making me look back up to him. My temper rose slightly in the bigger mechs shadow.

“I’m always here for you if there is anything you ever need,” he said in his to sweet voice. I wish I could say something, but I... I know he couldn’t look at me the same so I wouldn’t waste his time.

“I know O.P thank you,” I said

“I’m sorry but I have some work to do else where,” Optimus said with a small smile. “thank you for hearing me out, please enjoy your party.”

Optimus knew not to talk about it, he was the most kindest mech I ever met. No one who deserved the matrix more. Even if I don’t believe in Primus I knew He was special. It hurt to watch him go even if he’d never admit it.

He probably hates me... I do.

Closelens’s P.O.V

Optimus stepped out making me flinch slightly and so did a Jazz with a fake happy field. We showed the Prime out and I had this feeling the hole time.

Something was wrong with Jazz.

It was dangerous, something told me to go run but I haven’t been told too. Jazz walked over to gab a hole cube of alcohol grade and down it.

I would have been impressed if it didn’t also scare me. I simply watched on at a distance, as he had one after the other as fast as he could it seemed. All I could do was watch in confusion. During the rest of the night he had up to 4 cubes, beginning to grow weary I slowly came up to him and cautiously pulled his hand down gently.

“H-hey has Jazz, do you want to go dancing,” I said wanting to tell him to stop but that was to harsh. He just shot me a glare telling me to back off before drinking another one. I did just that bowing my helm, now... I needed to be carful. After he was done his field became a erratic mess he had a fake smile and not so gracefully fell back on the couch wrong. I quickly helped him sit up now his equilibrium was messed up. I was going to sit back down at his pleds when he suddenly dragged me on his lap. I gave a surprised squeak. Jazz forgetting his strength squeezed me to tight making me struggle slightly before telling myself to just relax. He chuckled with a slur grabbing another alcohol grade from his sub space.

“Thirsty?” He said using a organic phrase.

“N-no I’m still full, I have a smaller tank then you remember?” I said softly really not interesting. “Maybe Ratchet will want it,” I tried to trick him.

“Na, he and Drift left when Drift passed out,” Jazz said adding with growl “So, you gonna drink it?”

I’ve never had alcohol before but I’ve heard the horror story’s.

“J-Jazz your Over energized, m-my tank is-“ I tried to say but He just squeezed me closer to his chest with his hand lightly holding my neck forcing me to look at him above me. He just smiled down at me with his usual evil smirk.

“Are you... disobeying me slave?” He asked with a slur making sure to run his hands over my waste, slowly over all my vital parts. I froze, n-no I wasn’t- I thought it was a offer not a order! Another huge red flag, he addressed me as ‘slave’. But... I was his pet I thought?

“No, your right I-I’ll drink it,” I freighted trying to correct myself.

“Now your demanding for my Energon?” He asked confused with hurt voice. Fallowed with a growl that sent a whole new wave of fear in me.

Primus, I was trapped, I couldn’t run even if I wanted too. He suddenly purred with a smile that got to me this time, he looked like he was ready to eat me whole. A hunter that had catching there pray. He wanted nothing more then to hurt me. I could feel his need, his impulses, His rage.

what the hell did Prime say?

“No, sir,” I said in soft pleading voice, “Please forgive me.”

He continued to play with my kibble between my armour.

Easily tearable...

Oh please don’t hurt me, I wanted to start to cry to him, I was so scared. A rush and blur of panic taking over I didn’t like this. I didn’t feel safe, the walls were closing in and I couldn’t vent. Oh I know he’d be mad if I became a grovelling mess but this was painful. I felt betrayed... if Jazz became my enemy here, Primus knows what he and his drunk friends would do to me. I looked up at him frightened, I needed to fix my error. I needed to win him back.

He slowly crest my waste, right where my T-Cog was.

I was going to be in a world of hurt if I didn’t do something now!

I needed to...

I needed to...

“I beg you, Don’t kill me Master,” I said releasing a stream of tears. I very gently grabbed his hand giving it a small kiss, I’d worship him if that’s what he wants. Primus spare me, I’d do anything he wants. I looked back up for my masters reaction when his smirk grew into a big smile.

I broke.

This is what the pit looked like... Jazz... over me... smiling like...like that. Jazz was Unicron, and I was more helpless then I’d ever been before in my life. I was to paralyze to scream but in my head nothing has ever been louder.

“Please... have Mercy,” I wimped quietly so only he could hear me. My field sank and held him desperately, my servos did the same, holding his arm with my shivering servos. And pleading optics.

“Oh, not today my sweet Closelens. But I think you need a drink,” he said holding his drink up. I wasn’t sure what he meant, was he talking about not killing me or not having mercy. It didn’t matter I had to please him. I wasn’t lying about my tank but I can afford the upset fuel chamber, or whatever the alcohol grade might caws. Jazz still had my chin looking up at him, he put the cube to my mouth and force fed me. It wasn’t slowly like the other times, it was fast and the odd angle made me chock slightly. It burned me on the inside, way more then sweet Energon. You could convince me it was fire I drank. But I needed take it, to obey, mercy might be grated if I just do whatever he asks. Afterwards I gagged and chocked, I shiver in his embrace bit it felt hollow. His frames Field was simply absorbing mine, indulging himself.

I felt his fields raw hate and darkness almost more the ever.

I shifted on his lap and Like that the world became a blur of colour. I felt awful, I wanted to sob but Jazz’s earlier statement pined me in place. I couldn’t to anything but just hope I’d make it.

Jazz had my waste and pulled me in, not lovingly but greedily. He nuzzled my neck, but I just closed my optics and let him. That’s when I felt his glossa run up one of my neck cables making a sob brake out for a moment but I chocked it back. He let out a mocking cruel chuckle nothing like his more playful ones. He was make fun of me.

He let go of my waste and lightly stroked between my thighs.

“Master?” I panicked, flinching and on the cusps of begging, my frame shaking something awful.

“Shhhhhhh, don’t talk. You’ll ruin it,” he purred. He got another drink of energon and just before he took a sip he got a idea, he put it to my lips. “Say aww for me.”

I opened my mouth and I make the sound with a shake to it. I was gonna be sick. He fed me one after the other after the other all well putting on a show for his friends. The room started to spin, a warning popped up in my hub telling me I was going to purge.

“Jazz, I’m gonna be sick,” I whispered frightened, the tears never stopped. If I purged here I’d die, simple as that. And to my surprise he let me go.

“Alright go, But hurry back when your done,” he said in a slur. “Tonight’s only just started...”

“Yes master, thank you,” I bowed, I fumbled my way through the crowd. It was the first time I ever ran from Jazz ran from everything. I was wrong I can’t trust him, Primus what was he going to do to me? My chest was tight and my stomach spinning more then the world was. I barged in the Washrack and purged in the sink. The first few times was from the alcohol the last one was from my own stress.

I can’t trust Jazz I was stupid for believing I could. He tricked me, now he was going to do...

I broke into tears.

I can’t trust Jazz I was stupid for believing I could.

This was the Jazz I was scared of when I first got here. I finally let myself start crying it was ok now, I was safe from view but I’d have to go back. But for the moment I could calm myself down. I washed off my face and just... I let myself drop to the ground scared. I couldn’t go back out there, but if Jazz came looking...

My vents were screaming in on high, I couldn’t find the cold air I needed. I started to pray, the vane hope that my god would finally start listening I had Ratchet wrapper out to help me. Give me the straight I needed to get throw this.

My spark was broken... he... he called me a slave... that’s all I was. A toy for him to play with... to brake.

I wasn’t a Cybertronian anymore.

When I felt really enough to except my fate and leave the washrack I bumped into someone, I looked up at a angry and drunk Springer...


	24. Ch 24: The Dance and Fall (part 2)

Chapter 24

The Dance and Fall (part 2)

(Warning this chapter contains Rape/ Non-Consensual, if you are sensitive to this issue please feel free to skip.)

I looked up at him with big optics, his scowl bore down almost as much as his field tried to pinned me.

“M-m-my apology’s sir,” I bowed my helm and tried to leave when his arm smashed the wall I was planing to walk past. I squeaked in fright looking up at the stupor mech who now had me with my back against the wall. He put his index finger on my chest as a silent way to say ‘stay there’.

He looked me up and down before giving me a big goofy grin.

“Look at you, pretty little paint job you got there all nice and- and- sparkly.” He said with snicker. I didn’t have time for this, If Jazz doesn’t see me back he’ll be furious.

“I-I have to go, my master, Jazz he-he told me to-“

Springer pushed all his body against me making me start to panic. I was helpless against the wrecker, even without the alcohol grade in me.

“You hit me twice now Con, in any other scenario I have taken out your spine and beat you to death,” He growled.

“I’m sorry!” I cried out this mech was much bigger then Jazz and more openly hostile. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. He grabbed my rest and started to pull me along. I had no clue why? What were other Autobot aloud to do, I don’t know the rules!

Then I noticed he was heading to Jazz’s berthroom and it all fell into place.

“It’s ok, you’ll make it up to me,” he said ominously. I started to fight him, I pulled with all my weight and punched his hand with all my strength. I was in a fury of panic my spark pulsed hard in my chest.

No

This wasn’t happening! How, I was... I was good, Primus damn it! I was happy! Me and Jazz were finally finding a way to talk to each other, he promised he wouldn’t hurt me if I listened. He promised to protect me!

Why?

What went so wrong tonight?

Why did I believe him, I’m so stupid. This was all a elaborate hoax to get me to lower my guard. A ploy to trick me so the pain of it all that was much worse. Nothing I did slowed down the large mech and I was to frightened to scream.

What would Jazz do to me if I ruined the party? Who should I be more scared of? My mind was a fog. Involving others could make this worse as I had no doubt now that Jazz was going to do this regardless.

Damn you.

I was to determined to start crying. I gave him everything I got I punched I kicked I did everything. Springer snapped and just throw me over his shoulder. I punched his back over and over.

This wasn’t real.

I couldn’t win like this. I stoped caring and in a desperate move I cried out for my master.

“JAZZ!” I tried to screamed over the music, hopeless praying he could hear me from across the house. Springer opened the door and launched me at the berth. I skimmed the top but fell on the other side. I looked across the room to see the wrecker lock the door.

This was happening...

He looked over at me, lustful blue optics looking to seek and destroy. My voice came out as a static scream as I retreated to the farthest corner of the room. I couldn’t beat him, I’d die if I tried.

My back was as far as it could to be in the corner. He approached fast and with heavy pleds my tank sank so did my frame. I sank to the floor to become smaller.

“Stop!” I cried out, he grabbed my lags with his huge servos and started to drag me closer. Grabbing me by my collar and for forcing me up. I hissed as the hooks of the collar pulled at my neck cables. He slammed me into the berth with a smash.

I made a failed attempt to escape, I struggled and kicked but he only grabbed my lags.

I made a mistake. He slid himself between my thighs and pinned me. His tenacious field suppressed mine which was was trying to fight. He went for my neck, playing with my neck cables between his dentals. I started to sob as the hopeless feeling crushed me.

I wanted to lock my knees together. I wanted out. But I can’t.

“Please stop,” I begged, I had nothing left. “I don’t want this, please-“

The green mech smashed his mouth into mine interrupting me. I tried to push him off with my servos against his chest plate but I didn’t have the strength. I was trapped... all I could do was cower in fear of this mech who had no sympathy in his spark.

“Stop talking, I figured you’d be used to this...” he whispered ripping off my interface making me cry out in pain. This made it impossible to protect my Spike and Valve. I weathered in a attempt to lock my knees together. 

I heard a click noise that made my spark sink like a rock in water. I felt his spike rubbing my folds. This... he can’t. I belong to Jazz... and Jazz said I had nothing to fear in this berth. He said he’d protect me. He said...

My optics began to leak lubricants as my body froze, I didn’t know what to do. How could I fight back. This mech, Springer is the leader of the Wreckers. Every Con knows not to frag with a wrecker, the best chance you have is to try and out run them and I was in no position for that.

The Autobot answer to our DJD. I pushed meekly against The unmovable huge green mech. Hefty armour crushed me and I helpless hit against his chest. I could feel his hot vents breathing on me making me shutter.

I shifted weakly under him but to no avail.

He was... so big, I-I won’t... he can’t.

I whimpered in fear taking deep and heavy vents.

His servo went to my interface systems and started to toy with my folds. I felt myself panic, I never interfacing before in my life. I’m untouched and Springer... this mech was huge.

I struggled to get way from him hopelessly. 

I can’t, my only option was to beg.

This... this can’t happen! This wasn’t real!

“No no no no no stop!” I cried as he slid a single digit into my Valve making me try and jerk back. I breathlessly moaned “Oh Please no!”

“So Jazz was waiting to crack your open, Wouldn’t he just hate to learn I beat him to it...” he let out a laugh that rumbled throw his body me vibrate. His digits moving in and out slowly I tried to pull away to no avail.

“P-please stop. I won’t tell anyone if you stop now-“

“Go ahead tell it to the world let them know who owns you now, in fact scream it for me,” he said darkly. His blue optics darker and daring me too.

He added another digit making me Squirm more but his hands only moved faster. I bit my lip holding back my crying.

“That’s it dirty Con,” Springer said setting more of his bodyweight on me. “Feels Good doesn’t it? Heh, It must because you’re all wet for me,” I couldn’t vent and my temperature sky rocketed, shame washed over me as I attended to cover my face with my hands. Primus please let it be over soon-

“Ahh!” I cried out as he scissored his fingers inside me. “No no no no no no no no no no-“

“Don’t be hiding, hands over your helm and look at me.” He ordered in a friendly voice. I shook my head rapidly.

No I refused to look at him, I didn’t want too. My vents gasped painfully as his fingers never slowed their assault.

“Do it now,” he said making me shake my head again I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want this... I won’t let him. I felt him stop... my optics opened and I looked at him between my digits. He took his out of me with a wet sound and grabbed my chin with the fingers that had just been in me. Smearing valve lubricants on my chin.

“Final warning Con,” he said making my mind go black with horrible, horrible scenarios of what those large hands could really do to me. I let out a sob and I slowly brought my hands above my helm as he instructed. I was so scared of what he might do if I don’t obey. Oh Primus, he was so big and strong. I was nothing. 

I hated how week I was. I hated how powerless I felt. All I could do was obey, it all I ever could do, let Springer get what he wanted... I had nothing left... I was just a Slave, no right to object my Autobot superiors.

“Mercy Springer,” I said looking at him throw tearful blurry optics. “I-I’m s-sorry, won’t fight, j-just Please don’t brake anything.”

And just like with Jazz, All he did was smile.

What was wrong with these people?

Why?

He held my arms to make sure I wouldn’t try and hide. I did as I said I would, proving I meant what I said. I kept my optics on him as he made his move. I went numb and just watched and waited... I felt his spike grind against my valve making me cringe but I needed to keep still.

“Look at you, all hot and bothered. Nice and wet for me... I’ll take my time with you microscope.” He said in a way that would turn any mech’s spark to ice. “See, you’re already made it easy for yourself Slave.” Before I could react the real Hell began.

He was a liar and It wasn’t gentle.

No I screamed, and unlike Springer pants there was no pleasure in it. He struck hard and fast into my core. Mercilessly he broke my seal and had been the worst pain only began. He was too big, his spike left nothing untouched filled me whole yet demanded more.

I wanted to stopped venting so I might pass out but that wasn’t happening if I kept calling out. I cried and broke my promise not to fight but his hands had mine on lock as he ravished me. The mech was to strong and I couldn’t move, forced to feel ever thrust. He grunted and panted loving every moment of my pain. His optics not even focused on me but the feeling of my walls. My attempted pleas fell on deaf ears.

I screamed for Jazz again in bloody murder, I don’t care what punishment he gives me. He can hit me with that Flog a million times if he wants. But this needed to stop, he tore me and it never stoped.

“Please stop please please!” I sobbed

Jazz never saved me, he lied to me turned me into some pampered lap dog and practically handed me to Springer.

The walls of my valve brought a wave of pain rival to none. The green mech would spit me in two, Primus! Why? Why? Why?

“JAZZZZZZ!” I cried in another static scream out. Why won’t he save me? Why can’t he hear me? What did I do, why won’t you come looking for me? I rarely get any privacy, no freedom no personal space. So where is he?

“Help,” I whispered as if... But no one would come for me.

Springer chuckled making me look at the dark mech.

“I see why Jazz did this for sport,” he said confusing me.

“W-w-what- ah!- what are you talking about,” I panted for cold air as he stopped for only a moment. His spike inside my stretched out valve down to his hilt.

“You know why Jazz was good at getting his prisoners to tell him whatever he wanted to know, right?” He asked, my optics widened in horror.

No... Jazz said... why? How? But When I got here he didn’t... More tears streamed down my face.

“Jazz, broke some laws and raped our prisoners, even after he got what he wanted. He said dirty Cons like you have it coming, hiding behind the real soldiers, You deserve this. Why do you think Jazz would want you, a tiny nothing Con,” he said thrusting again but somehow even harder leaving me with that.

Jazz... raped helpless prisoners.

No.

Jazz hadn’t done anything to me, he told me he’d never. I believed him, I believed him.

I cried at the unrelenting pain his friction never dying.

All I could do was cry...

After a eternity Springer finally overload, each strike took something away tearing me down little by little but no he still wasn’t satisfied... enough was never enough, he took me again and again never waning once.

I scream until my voice could barely function. I was torn form the inside all while the powerful green mech hurt me.

I was so broken the burning pain was nothing short of unbearable. Everything in me was dead.

But all at once his big hands tore open my spark chamber making me panic. I weakly throw my fists at him again and in a weaker tired voice I said with what felt like my dying breath. I had no doubt, I’d die here, I’d go to the Well tonight and be with my brothers and sisters. I’d stand and face judgment of Primus with a smile if it meant being taken away from this horrible place.

I wanted to live, but I... I can’t.

“Stop,” I cried “Please, no more,”

He opened his own spark chamber with the same tapped out look on his face. He didn’t care what he was doing to me... I was irrelevant in this affair.

His lustful optics looked past me. My pain, everything.

He was going to spark merge with me, he was going to take my life Essenes and violate it...

I fell limp, lifeless. I closed my eyes and just hope he’d just kill me when he was done.

He had my life, my soul... everything that was me, everything Primus had ever given to me- in his dirty disgusting cruel hands and he played with it like a berth toy... my audio cut in and out at random.

I was nothing.

A bond meant for trust and unconditional love was not being shared with this beast born from Unicron. I felt the static from his just before it touched, for the moment our field became one and my attempt to pull away only hurt and to submit only accentuated the pain. My audio cut in and out at random.

I cried out to my god for something anything to interrupt this. But he made it clear that he stopped caring for me long ago.

I had no savour no hero just Springers moans of pleasure. He overloaded again as we touched but i felt it, his heat inside me, spark and body and it drove me into a hard forceful overload. There was nothing to feel inside however, after my cry out was finished there was just nothing... And as my optics flicker Springer slid out of me. Making me grunt in pain and wish for relief but the pain... the hot pain like no other remained, The wrecker had rubbed me raw.

I was covered in discharge and laying in a pool of my own Energon. My spark sitting outside my chest. All my insides felt destroyed. He didn’t just shatter my seal but everything. My arms still above my helm to frightened to move.

Nothing was let untouched, nothing was sacred, I sobbed silently my voice to tired to be loud.

“Tell Jazz I had fun at his party,”

Like that it was over, but the pain... the feeling... I just laid there in a big broken mess on the birth frozen. I heard the door close and like that I was alone.

This was it for me, I was really truly broken.

My spark hurt, betrayed.

Jazz... why?


	25. Chapter 25 The Dance and Fall (Part 3)

Chapter 24

The Dance and Fall (Part 3)

Jazz’s P.O.V

I had my head in my hands, I had purged a good deal of alcohol grade from my system sobering me up a little bit. But the aftertaste burned pretty bad. I could knock em down good, it’s just keeping em down that’s issue.

I’m in the Washrack, originally came here looking for Closelens, I hadn’t seen him in a while. But I couldn’t find him, at the moment I had a ping of regret about making him over energize. Poor guy...

I clenched my servos, Primus I’m weak.

Frag, have I blown a processor? Just when I start to have a shot at Closelens seeing me a little less a horrific monster out for his sanity. Now I have to start back at stage one all over again.

No, I can still fix this, I need to stop thinking of Prime. It hurts but... He has made it perfectly clear I’m little more then a friend, I should be grateful he thinks that much of me. Even if it is out of pity. I need to move on, not just for my sake but for Closelens. I can’t risk hurting him while impaired, I’m grateful he ran off. This is why I can’t lose control, and thank Primus I purged to at least be a little level headed.

I promised to be better then this.

I wiped my face off with water and decided to go out looking for him. The world still wasn’t right as I still had alcohol grade in me. But I could stand walk and talk without to much difficulty.

The poor guy is probably scared to death hiding in the smallest place he could fine.

I started looked high and low for him but he was nowhere to be found, I started to panic. What if he ran off with someone? I couldn’t have been that bad, right?

No, I checked my tracker in the collar which showed me he was still in the apartment... That’s when I noticed Springer walk past me, he smiled and waved.

“Hey Jazz,” he said with a triumphant smirk.

“The hell are you doing here-“ I didn’t have time for him now he’s not worth it, I’ll kick him out after I find my pet. I blew past him makings sure to hit the side of him with my shoulder as I walked by. I’ll buff the scratches off later later.

I scoured the whole area but he just wasn’t there.

Then it hit me, he was probably in the berthroom. Guests weren’t allowed in there so it be nice and quiet for him. He’s such a smart mech.

I smiled to myself.

Why do I like him so much, was it just his subservience or more. I adored his cuteness, his clumsy walk his timid ness only made me want to protect him more. But... no matter how hard I push him. No mater how degrading or playful I get... there’s a sense that he wouldn’t just turn off and obey. He wants to get throw this, he wants me to help him. I never feared that he’d off himself like someone weaker would.

What I do isn’t easy on him.

I do play with him like a toy.

But... He squeaks when I frighten him, he’d do whatever it Please me. He wants to live. In this time I don’t think I’d be strong enough for that. And I find it all so, beautiful. I like being cruel for the sake of his reaction but I also liked talking to him too. I don’t want that to stop because I can’t handle being rejected.

He’s trying harder then I ever expected him too and if it took me getting hammered and borderline threaten his life to send him running.

Closelens was stronger then he thinks and Smarter then he know, I’ve always liked dorks like him.

I made my way to my room and lightly knocked on the door.

“Closelens, you there pet?” I ask in a soft voice. After a minute of silence I slowly opened the door. I likely spooked him back there I didn’t need to make it worse. The room was pitch black so I moved to turn up the lights when...

Oh Primus...

My body froze in time the sheer shock of the sight brought a whole new wave of horrified grief. The past muddled the present. I ran and Jumped on the berth next to him in a rush of panic washed over.

No this wasn’t really, it had to be some awful ptsd flash back or something. This wasn’t ever going to happen again I swore it. I...

“Closelens!” I said in a panic, looking down at his almost completely destroyed body. His armour was torn to the spark hanging over the edge of his gaping wound. His wrists were- were crushed by much larger hands that likely had pin him down. Scratches all over his body his thighs had no paint left. His interface equipment was left out with his poor valve destroyed torn and horribly bleeding. His was covered in overlode his lags still spread apart to accommodate his attacker, but likely was too painful to close. His vents sounded painful and caved in, his voice crackled in static likely a result of being blown out. Who could have done this!

He had a hurt expression that hurt my very spark to see. His optics not staring at me or anything. Looking up void and empty yet flickered as if struggling to keep them activated. His face covered with tears. His body was unsettlingly still, as if playing dead.

My body shook as I very carefully went to gently put his spark back into his chest. I felt tears well up in my optics and my spark now ebbed in guilt. My field desperately hugged his. His optics suddenly lit up bright and darted to me making me flinch. He tried to move but I desperately and lightly put my hands on him.

“N-no don’t move,” I pleaded unable to hide my emotion I didn’t care. He looked at me as if I was death itself, the fade of sparks, the end. A static weak cry came out as he moved his body slightly falling victim to the pain all over again.

“Closelens Stop, Your gonna hurt yourself, you shouldn’t move,” I said more desperately and to my shock he obeyed. He went perfectly still again.

“n0 sT0p” he cried in distorted static “no more pain.”

“No more pain, it’s over, it’s over.” I couldn’t help but brake at his words as he sobs erupted. Why, Closelens was harmless! “Who did this to you baby?”

“S-Sprin9er,” he whispered weakly his hole frame shaking. He didn’t move but he started to very quietly cry.

My mind snapped...

That smile he gave me...

My visor went red. No drought scaring Closelens into dead silence I stood back up off the berth.

I started to walk away when I herd Closelens small voice say something but there was something I needed to do...

I stormed my way to the front of the apartment comming Ironhide to guard my berthroom door so no one else could takes advantage of my Closelens but also to not go inside. Ironhide’s a softy But would no doubt intimidated him. I also ordered him to call Ratchet and get him over here now.

Anger didn’t even begin to describe how I felt, livid was a start and rage was a step closer but Bloodlust seemed just right.

I walked down the stairs to the main room where I saw that green frager sitting in my spot on the couch drinking my Energon laughing with my friend. Like he hadn’t just violated the one thing I currently hold dearest too me.

I gritted my dental.

If he wants my attention... oh you bet he’s going to get it.

“Springer, stand up now,” I ordered in my military tone. Everyone else saw the Red visor and knew to get out of my way, some even left.

“Alright Jazz, I’m leaving,” he said all friendly putting his drink down and standing up brushing himself off. I wasn’t letting this peace of scum go that easy.

“No, you think you can walk away from this after what you did to Closelens you peace of slag,” I hissed

“The Con? Oh, so you found him already? I was surprised to see him with a seal on, given you track record and all,” he said all confidence pretends he has a clew. Everyone stood up, Bumblebee grabbed Jazz while Sideswipe and Powerglide held Springer.

“Guys that enough,” Bumblebee said holding my arm reminding me briefly of how Closelens dose when he’s scared. No doubt he was now. but I ignored Bee, I ignored all of them.

“How dare you, Closelens is mine! He belongs to me and you raped him!” I yelled wanting to tare out the Wreckers optics.

“Don’t give me that slag, I was just giving him a lesson in manners, he’ll live.” He said with a shrug. “Not like you trained him well to being with.

Bumblebee bless his spark meant well but he was no match to me. I rushed Springer and punched him in the jaw and elbowed him in the left side of right knee tarring the joint but not enough for it to break. Won’t make that mistake twice. I went in when Warpath grabbed me.

“Swoosh! Easy Jazz sir,” Warpath said but that’s when I started yelling again.

“You wouldn’t know the first thing about the responsibly of ownership-“

“Don’t give me that you hypocrite! I’m the one who gave you your prisoners you play with, Magnus and I were the ones reading there Wrights as Autobot prisoner of war. Next thing I know I’m being pulled into Primes office being asked if I knew what you were doing you sick freak! I was sending up dozens of prisoners- that I was responsible for, to you interface dungeon! How many times did you drag our Autobot badge throw your own overlodes. So why is it so wrong that I extend the same currency. Braking one of your toys and don’t worry, he sang beautifully for me...” he smiled. That spawn of a glitch-

“Yes I screwed up royally but... Thats my sins to bare, he had nothing to do with this, I was the one you were after not Closelens. He’s innocent!”

“Not so much anymore-“ he pushed the others away, “forget it, I’m leaving.”

“I will hunt you down if you walk out of here, don’t think I won’t!” I shouted as he just waved himself off. I let my visor go back to Normal. I’ll deal with him later...

Everyone felt uncomfortable easy to say the party was over. Ironhide said he couldn’t stay out of the room and Ratchet said he’d be here in five minutes.

I ordered people to clear out and went back to Closelens who was now fully unconscious. I held his servo in both my hands I couldn’t help but brake down. I didn’t care that Ironhide was their, I just wanted my Closelens to be ok... why him? I’m the one who deserves to be punished not him...

I sat with him until Ratchet got here, he brought Rumble and FirstAid to help lode him up. Ratchet gave me a angry look before I could say anything he growled.

“We’re going to talk about this.”

I said nothing in response. He had better things to do, I knew he was pissed and rightfully so, but I wasn’t unimportant at the moment. Closelens was bleeding fast. Rumble and Aid got Closelens in Ratchet He being small enough to fit comfortably. Ratchet took off, sirens blared clearing the roads ahead as I fallowed in my Altmode. It was decently late at night so there wasn’t any traffic. We where they’re in minutes but it felt so much longer time felt slower in my head,

We pulled in and Soundwave was already waiting there with a gurney. Closelens was quickly transferred inside and... Primus his colours... I only saw him at a glance buy he looked like he was barley holding on to life. He was sooo pail looking, I hadn’t released how much damaged he sustained.

If he dies-

I couldn’t even finish that thought. It hurt to much to think about. He didn’t deserve this. I vented harder, I felt sick I turned back from my Altmode and chased in Ratchet and the others. He was rushed passed a lot of other people and into the ER. Then I was halted by Frenzy.

“Hey hey hey, that’s far enough, Let the dock bots do there thing.” He said nicer then I thought he would. My vocalizer was failing me at the moment.

“Closelens,” I said unable to form any other word in response. I couldn’t help it, I was scared for him. Why? Why did I let this happen why wasn’t I there when he needed me.

“Relax getting all stressed out about it won’t help out anyone alright, the waiting room is- Just fallow the signs,” he said pointing at a bunch of text with arrows pointing the way to various points in the hospital. “They got Energon cookies that taste like scrap but the chairs are comfy.”

I just nodded numbly.

I slowly walked my way to the lobby room floor of the hospital and just started to pace. I couldn’t sit down with my mind being a mess, my chest was tight and I was on the edge.

One simple fix and all this could have been avoided.

I should have given him a commlink.

He would have been able to tell me he was being attacked and- I would have gotten my ass kicked because of how wasted I was. Dammit it I shouldn’t have been drinking. The worst that should have happened tonight was I brake out the Karaoke Machine and embarrass him in front of everyone.

Not this.

Frag Springer

And frag me too.

I paste back and forth for hours, it felt like forever before I saw Ratchet watching. Likely just getting out of surgery. His Ratchetiest scowl said it all... he wanted to talk in private. He lumbered up off behind closed doors, I quickly ran after him as he turned into his front office space. I ran in to see his back to me and him hunched over slightly.

The place was a mess with files of datapads everywhere from the desk to the floor. He took a shot of low grade Alcohol, I stepped closer cautiously. his field was pulled tight to him and impossible to read. That made me nervous but I needed to explain myself.

“Ratchet this-“

In one sharp move Ratchet back handed me. I fumbled back slightly from the blow and the pain set in.

Rightfully deserved...

“What did I tell you, was it so much to ask that this not happen again. Or do you have so little respect for me!” He shouted making me flinch stepping back, A angry Ratchet was a scary ratchet... “You made a promise, do you remember that! You said I’d never see him in here in this condition. All that time ago you promised you’d never take advantage of another mech so long as you lived! Was that all just a lie!”

“Ratchet, I screwed up, but I didn’t do this to him. S-S-Springer snuck in, I got drunk, scared him a little but I wouldn’t ever do that. I’m not that mech, he’s dead after everything. He ran off and Springer did... this, Springer raped my Closelens. I wasn’t there to stop him and I- I...” I erupted in tears my field hugged itself in shame and guilt all at once a emotional rushed destroyed every pillar and wall in me. “I didn’t want this Primus, please believe me!”

I continued to cry, this was all my fault ever moment of this every choice ever Sorry moment of neglect was my fault. And Closelens had to pay for me being a poor master. I have a responsibility to make sure he’s not just properly trained but protected as well and I failed plain and simple.

I suddenly felt Ratchet pull me into a hug until I calmed myself down. His field was full of comfort and forgiveness. I looked up at him waiting to hear what he had to say but equally dreading it.

“I believe you Jazz, I believe you... This feel familiar tho doesn’t it... you were on your hands and knees begging for my forgiveness. This time... you should be asking a different mech,”

“Thank you Ratchet, is he ok?” I asked desperately.

“The surgery was a success, but His protoform’s core had been heavily damaged and his body needed some serious work done. You can take him home tomorrow but he is to do nothing but sleep and fuel in peace. Stress him out to much and it’ll take longer. And I mean that no more mind games nothing but peace,” He said Ratchet said sternly. I simply nodded, I could live without it for once, I’ll do whatever it takes to get him better.

“Jazz, he’s awake and stable now. Would you like to go see him?”

I couldn’t say yes fast enough. I needed to talk to him, there was a lot I had to explain for. Apologies to make and... he’s probably scared out of his mind I needed to fix this.

All of it.


	26. Ch 26: Spark Felt

Chapter 25

Spark Felt

 

When I woke up I don’t know ware I was and it hurt to move. But when I did try there was one place above all else. It all came back in a rush of information. The party, The Prime, Jazz, the high grade alcohol, Jazz again,-

Springer...

What Springer said

What Springer did.

I tried to pull my knees together but it hurt, pain spreading faster then wild fire straight to the spark. I was numb but I also felt everything. Phantom hands pinning me down making me helpless replaying in my mind my voice blowing out because I couldn’t scream loud enough for my master to hear or worse ,care. I felt hollow inside used and discarded. Given to Ratchet to clean up the pieces and try to put me back together so Jazz might still want me...

Then everything made a little more sense. Why was Jazz training me, why he bothered with a nothing Con.

Jazz was going to do this anyways it was clear to me. it’s why he trained me not fear his touch but to fear disobedience fear disappointing him or casing him to be unhappy. It’s why he fed me Energon, to build trust, a promise to provide.

... and why he made me all pretty... H-He was going to turn me into some disgusting berth toy.

Primus it’s why he didn’t want me to be scared of the Berth, the whole ‘I had nothing to fear’ slag was just a lie. Who knows maybe he was hoping to train me to like it.

Like that the tears started to roll. It hurt to move but it hurt just as bad to think. I looked at myself, I had a new unpainted, chest plating new wrist plating. I but I was still highly sensitive to touch.

Jazz doesn’t care about me. He never has, I’m just some sick game and nothing more. Just like the wrecker did, he was just honest about it...

I wasn’t even angry, I was to sad to be, I felt betrayed. My spark wanted me to claw it from my chest and tare it out so it would stop hurting. I felt sick and dirty, I needed to get clean but I was frozen to the berth. I felt like my body would crumble if I tried to stand.

Jazz lied to me... he promised I would make it he promised I’d be taken care of if I just obeyed. Primus I even believed he’d get me a apprenticeship with Sunstreaker. It was all just to hold over me.

My spark felt dirty, I felt disgusting. My seal was destroyed my life force violated. Something that was meant to be shared with someone I cared about and trusted was taken, harvested without care or love. After everything I’ve been through, I’m only what people take me for nothing more. Wether it be microscope or slave.

I slowly brought my shaky servos to my chest, I felt a light sting but I wanted to clean myself. I wanted to scrub by spark of Springers repulsive touch burning inside me more then the pain of anything else. But I couldn’t open up my chest until I was better.

I made a whining sound, I couldn’t wait that long! I need it now!

I started venting heavily as I started to sobbing like a sparkling. I couldn’t help it I just wanted to feel clean again I don’t think I could take it. Out of the few things I ask for in life can this, just once be one I get no strings attached.

I suddenly heard the door open making me freak I wanted to pull away I couldn’t face Jazz like this.

Oh no.

No no no no he told me to come back after I purged in the Washrack. Dose that count as disobedience?

I heard footsteps...

Will he punish me?

Primus if he only wanted me as a berth toy... would... would this decrease my value? Oh no what if he doesn’t want me anymore without a seal? My mind was a fog, how could I prove to him I was still useful? I don’t want to be sold off, but I can’t do this all over again. But I also don’t want him to sell me.

But I- but I don’t want him to try and entertain himself with me before I recover...

I felt like purging again.

Jazz’s P.O.V

He looked up to me with the same look as before. I wanted to hug him I wanted to drop and plead for his forgiveness. But this wasn’t about me and making it so would be selfish. Primus know I got that already covered...

He needed someone strong to lean on for protection and comfort not... not the mess back I was in Ratchets office. But he didn’t need no master either. I very slowly and very gently held his hand bringing it away from his chest and closer to me. He probably wanted to tare it out. Forced Spark merges were- on the victim- emotionally pain and energy zapping.

“Easy Closelens, easy.” I whispered he looked at me optics welling up all over again and he cracked.

“I’m sorry,” he said “I-I was going to come back, I didn’t mean to disobey master, I promise... please don’t hurt me.”

Hearing that made me want to huge him even more, here and now but I know he was in to much pain and irrefutably wants any physical contact. Holding his hand would be all not wanting to push him even slightly. He needed me, I wanted him to need me. But not like this. My stomach turned as dark memories flashed but I shoved it aside.

My Closelens was hurt... really hurt.

“No, don’t you apologize, not to anyone, None of this was your fault.” I said calmly stroking his hand. “It’s over, I won’t hurt you. I promise...”

It was hard not to get emotional, some of it slipped out throw my voice and mannerism.

“Jazz, where were you. I screamed for you, why didn’t you come?” He said weakly. Something in me broke and I couldn’t fight off the tears. Guilt flooded me, washed over and swept me up.

“I’m so so sorry, this wasn’t supposed to happen. I failed to be there when you needed me. I deserve no forgiveness for that and-and if you wish it, I will place you into another Masters hands one who will treat you better then I ever did.” I went to stroke his helm out of pure habit when he made a hard flinch back with a gasping sob. I got back a soon as I relied how I must have sounded to the frightened slave.

“Don’t sell me don’t sell me don’t sell me please!” He cried out “I’m so so so sorry Master I can make you happy I can, give me a chance please please please don’t sell me!”

“...” I just looked at the horror on his face trying to hold off my field. “Closelens, that’s not what I meant. You make me happy but if you don’t want to stay with me I can-“

“Don’t leave me again!” He sobbed “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-“ he started freaking out, his voice first each word with scratchy static. In any other scenario I’d probably find it cute or amusing but... this wasn’t fun anymore. He tried to come back to me and nuzzles my hand as a apology.

“Please listen to me, I know a mech by the name of Hotshot. He’s a activist like Ratchet... he’s all for equal rights he refuses to get a Decepticon out of principle. He would treat you as a equal. He’s not in Iacon at the moment but when he gets back you can meet him. And if you chose you can go with him if you no longer feel safe with me.” I made sure to explain it nice and slow so he understood. He went quietly...

“It’s okay pet,” I said as smoothly as I could. He’s field was a mess, he was flaring all the emotional trauma you could think of in random directions. He didn’t stop nuzzling my hand I thought to pull away but I didn’t want him to think I was mad. I just need to let him tire himself out so we could talk.

He settled down after a while. His sobbing got quieter.

“Please... I-I-If you’re going to get rid of me... Please just send me to The Well Autobot Jazz, I don’t want to play anymore,” he said softly. “I can’t do it, I’ll never win.”

“Shhhhh Closelens, your safe...” I said fighting everything in me to brake down again. This was all me... I did this. But chose to do the one thing I know I can do right.

I sang to him.

“Your not alone together we stand I’ll be by your side you know I’ll take your hand-“ he like every other times got quieter. I know he liked my voice, I know nothing I could ever say could ever make this better. Nothing I do could make him feel hole again.

Something was robbed and it wasn’t coming back.

“When it gets cold and it feels like the end, with you by my side I won’t give in,”

I have that gift to stop the spark with my voice but I had a gift to sooth it too. But that didn’t have to do with any gift but a talent. As a torcher you need to control everything. When I lose it people get hurt in unimaginable ways I-

I can’t even bring myself to say it, I’m that pathetic.

“Keep holding on, cuz I know we’ll make I throw, make it through,” I continue to sing gently.

I’m that horrible. I’m so fraged up that I’m seeking a middle ground with a mech who doesn’t even know against there will. All because I’m a selfish monster who doesn’t deserve a gift like Closelens.

“Just stay strong, cuz I’m here for you, here for you,”

He makes me happy, to find love in being wanted. I crave being needed but I’m to much of a cowered to attempt to form a meaning relationship. Primus I never even asked Prime. I just... I know he’s to good for me. I know Prime is emotionally tone deaf who doesn’t even know what a hint was but-

...Not now this isn’t about me feeling sorry for myself. And it seriously wasn’t OP fault.

“There’s nothing you you can say when it comes to the truth-“

No it was mine and I needed to make some real changes. I need to win him over before Hotshot come back at the end of the month. It’s the only chance I have of keeping him. I plan on honouring whatever he chooses but... Primus I wanted him to stay.

I’ll fix this, I do whatever it takes to keep him here.

He makes me happy.

It’s only fare I extend the favour, he need me more then ever now. And if I have to start over then so be it, I needed a new plan. I can do this... after all the horrible I’ve done I can do this.

Ratchet’s P.O.V

I wish I could trust him, I really wish I could... I had Rumble doing sweep up in that area just in case something bad happens. I don’t want the microscope getting hurt in any way, especially in my hospital.

I also had a live-feed system so I could look in on these personal talks, Hidden cameras. Of corse it was Soundwave’s idea. He knew I was paranoid about someones Master hurting my patients right out from under me. But the only thing I saw was Jazz singing to his slave.

“- comes to a end, with you by my side I’ll fight and defend-“

Poor kids, both of them. I know this hadn’t been easy for Jazz, he’s always had issues letting go. So him willing to give him up to Hotshot was kinda a big deal.

He wasn’t the same mech as before the war. I don’t know all the details but I knew some of the stuff he was going through. His missions always pushed him to more and more. On day he didn’t come back the same, he had to hack someone.

Then he had to kill a members of his garrison so they wouldn’t talk when they got captured once.

He became desperate to win the war never wanted to mercy kill ever again. I get it but... he went to far using unsanctioned torture methods. I knew he was... raping the prisoner but... Jazz was insisting that we were getting the intel that we needed to win. I couldn’t keep quiet He pulled rank and ordered me to keep prisoner health files private. Only I was aloud to see them.

What started with one became more... forced into silence only extended the guilt I felt. I’d be lying if I said I did hate him. I did, it though he was a monster. And he only proved me right over and over again.

But Jazz was the one to brake first, he came to me one day completely shattered, something happened. He was on his knees begging me for help, for forgiveness that he was scared of the person he is. He told me that he became a torture because he liked seeing others in pain. He was starting to get worse but didn’t go into detail...

I told him that he needed to go to Optimus if he ever wanted to start making things up to me. Tell Prime and seek his giddiness and come clean about everything and seek help.

The next day he wasn’t at the prisons.

He did everything I asked but I know few details about it, he started talking to me more. He was a emotional mess I don’t know if I forgive him for Silencing me but I feel sorry for him.

It considered me when all this happened , suddenly he was allowed to pick a slave to let loose with no repercussions. What’s in that room is the moment of truth, this would be his point of no return but he genuinely loved that little mech.

I watched Jazz sing to him slowly and softly some stupid pop song. But His slave seemed to like it. He stopped crying to listen, like a big sweet sparkling.

I was almost proud how nice Jazz was being, normally Jazz isn’t nice while ‘at work’ but this was sweet. Jazz really did want to protect this little guy. Wether it just him seeking redemption or otherwise was genuine spark felt remorse.

And it’s a tragedy it had to get this bad...

Poor kids.

Closelens P.O.V

“Here me when I say I believe, nothing gonna change nothing gonna change destiny-“

I never wanted to interrupt him, he had such a nice voice...

I felt grey on the inside. Pits this all felt like a horrible horrible dream. Such pain couldn’t be real no one could survive this Yet here I was.

I know his dirty little secrets...

I can’t let him know I know. If so he might... he might skip a few steps in his master plan. Whatever that means to me has yet to be seen but I can’t afford to take a risk.

“La da da da, la da da da, la da da da da da da da da da-“

Primus, I honestly don’t think I could survive this if I did.

His song was optimistic, I didn’t feel trapped like they usually make me feel.

What do I feel...

I don’t know what to think anymore. My mind was confused mess, a emotional blur. But numb all over, there was only pain and memory. Overlapping but still not completely coming over to reality. Jazz was gently, his field occasionally ebbed of guilt and anger. But nothing but soothing vibes to me directly. He wanted me to be ok...

Why?

I was nothing, I am nothing. Just something to play with so what did I matter. My sanity wasn’t a priority I’d think he’d care about. Just so long as he was amused I couldn’t be allowed to live.

My mind had a thought.

What if this amused him...

“Keeping holding on-“

I chocked back a audible sob at the idea he found any of this amusing. It sounded to likely for comfort. What dose it matter anymore, why fight. I’ll never be more then my body allows for. I’m a toy and nothing more.

This mech couldn’t feel anything for me. Now I’m rendered useless I don’t I’ll last much longer. He’ll get bored and I’ll die.

I’ll finally be free...

Jazz’s P.O.V

He hid nothing from me, he just wanted to giving up. I couldn’t stand to see him like this, he had no perseverance to live.

But still he just let himself relax on the med berth quietly. Even with everything. He didn’t need to be strong, he could fall apart he could hurl insults at me and I wouldn’t care. He was here, Springer didn’t kill him and he made it through all this. I’d be devised if it all ended here.

The joy he gives me... I wanted to be selfish and keep him but this different now. I owe it to Closelens. I need to be better.

I had a month to prove myself.

“Cuz I know we’ll make it through, make it through.”


	27. Ch 27: Needs

Chapter 27

Needs

Ratchet sent Laserbeak to help me walk him home after he was discharged. He would of driven himself but he’s a has pulled a all nighter and needed to rest. I had my arm under his shoulder and Laserbeak had his other shoulder.

“I appreciate the assistance,” I said, even if I could lift him on my own. She just gave me a look...

I could only assume she knew what happened. 

Closelens simply shut down, mentality. He listened and obeyed whenever I asked anything but he didn’t really talk or anything. His drone like behaviour frightened me...

I don’t want him like this. We slowly made our way back to my place where I brought him to the guest room. No way he’d sleep in my bed with me after... everything. I slowly helped him lay down when a whimper escape him, it hurt to hear. 

“Shhh it’s ok it’s ok, I’m going to leave you alone now ok. I wouldn’t bother you. But I’d like to give you something,” I pinged him my comm link. Unlimited access. He could even interrupt my calls. I wasn’t making that mistake again. “Anything you need, I’m just a call away.” 

I didn’t want to promise anything. I couldn’t be trusted yet... I also took out a Energon treat and gently put it to his mouth. He slowly opened and I dropped it in.

“Good mech,” I said with a small smile. He blanked looked up at me waited for further instructions. But I would not abuse my power. 

Not like Springer, never again...

The same could be accomplished but... I’d let him have this. My Closelens can recover from this. So help me I’ll make this work. 

Closelens finished his sweet and just looked into up blankly Optics not focused on anything. I came closer and held his hand, which slightly trembled. I gently place a kiss on his hand. Primus I wanted him to get better.

“Rest, please get better...” I said keeping to my word and letting him be alone. I took in a deep vent of cold air. He was to pure to be like this, I hate that I can’t do anything. I can’t even sit by his bed to make sure he doesn’t need anything. What did this mech do to me to make me feel... this. I need to protect him and this time I won’t fail.

“You looked worried,” the bird said, I looked up at her as she landed on one of the small tables beside the door as I closed it shut. I had flattened my field so I’d be unreadable so I was surprised the spy bird picked up on that.

“I just want him to get better.” I said flatly, but it wasn’t a lie. I was about to ask her but I was about to ask how she did that when she answered for me.

“I hang out with Soundwave, I know how to read people,” she said rolling her optics.

“Yeah, and how do I look?” I asked rhetorically walking past.

“Lost,” Laserbeak said “Ratchet told us about you.”

“Did he?” I asked with a tinge of anger. I love Ratchet but he promised to keep that kind of stuff on the down low-

“Well, Rumble and Frenzy read his diary Drift makes him keep.”

Oh, I’d believe that any day. Bunch of brats...

“Did you really threaten Ratchet back then-“ She started but simple, no.

“Look, thank you for the help but my history isn’t really up for discussion, okay?” I said REALLY not wanting to have this conversation with her. Closelens... Maybe some day but I’m just not ready.

Then when will I be.

“Were you the ones who convinced Ratchet to confess his feeling to Drift.” changing the subject seemed to be the best corse of actions.

“A little bit,” she said slyly. I gave her a look, She vented “It was borderline painful watching the two not be together. Seeing Ratchet being hopeless love struck and being sad about it is only so much fun, especially since he’s a Sweet spark cupcake.”

“Yeah he’s a good mech, they deserve to be happy,” I said feeling a ping of guilt.

Closelens deserves to be happy to. Sure he did some bad stuff in his past but he’s paying for his crimes ... I can’t bring myself to blame him to much. He just wanted to make something for himself, that’s all. He just fell in with the wrong crowd. Closelens never set out to hurt anyone. 

But dose ignorance mean Innocence or was that a different kind of wrong?

The poor thing just got raped, no one deserves that...

“You really care about him,” Laserbeak said following me down stairs. 

“Yeah,” I said thinking about Closelens more then Ratchet but the answer is still the same. Both of them means a lot to me. “Shouldn’t you be off.”

“Ratchet’s worried about you,” she said landing on the back of the couch.

“Good spy you are,” I chuckled sarcastically. She got all huffy.

“Damn right I am, and you best remember it. But I’ll go if you want, there’s always things to do back at the hospital.” She said getting ready to take off, but I thought of something.

“Wait, I have a question,” she looked over to me. “do... do you guys like Ratchet?” I asked genuinely. A stupid question but I was curious non the less.

“Of corse we do, He practically broke the law to keep us together. He brakes his frame to make sure we lack nothing. He saved us, hell it deeper then that, he’s one of the few mechs out there that treat us like people instead of high tech drones.” She said before she gave me a thoughtful look. “Also If you want help with your little guy I think you best treat him the same. It surprisingly goes a long way.”

With that she left throw the open balcony I slowly made my way there to watch her fly of into a speck in the distance. She did indeed give me somethings to think about.

I can’t give him that kind of freedom because it would confuse my Closelens, more then he already is. If I drop my persona now it will make me look like a phoney, which isn’t good if I want to make him believe he could trust me and I’d could ever protect him if I went soft. I can’t be weak like I was in the hospital. I need to do better. 

But I do need to relax him quite a bit. Simple kindness goes a long way, I’ve said it before but Prime has helped me understand that mercy is also a grate weapon and motivational tool. If he can understand that I’m trying to make this easier for him he’ll try harder to aid my ‘kindness’. 

I shook my head, how pompous.

But he knows I get my jolly’s off seeing him scared not so much sad.

If I tell him I want him to be a searton way and I wasn’t- key word here- happy with his current behaviour...

No that’s to cold, even for this performance. He’ll fail to fake his happiness and I’ll have to play along with that scenario. I can’t flip flop to much or he’ll see me as to unpredictable thus untrustworthy.

This was going to be tuff, even more so that I’ve given him a easy out. I should have waited on that now I have a-

No this was good, without the time limit I would be so encouraged to help him. I’ve noticed I do missions a lot better with pressures. I can’t just goof around with him and make him squirm for no reason now. This would no doubt make me a better master, kinder, smarter and a lot less careless.

But... really wasn’t that the reason I got him to begin with. One of the reason anyways...

All a excuse to be sadistic and just mess around. Play with someone, train them. Make them need me so I’d feel more then just another survivor of the war.

Was I really doing all this just to get my toy back?

Suddenly like that I heard a thud sound from up stairs snapping me out of my haze. 

Closelens?

I made my way up stairs just to see the Washrack door close. I simply approached and knocked on the door.

“Hello, are you ok?” I asked but got no answer... after a moment I the sound of running water could be heard. I slowly opened the door to he him stiffly sitting on the ground in the path of the water. He didn’t even so much as looked up. 

I crouched down making sure to avoid touching him in any place that might trigger him.

“Hey it’s ok... why are you in here pet?” I asked gently, he ducked his helm closer in his knees. I brushed his arm lightly making him cringe with whimpering again... oh no.

“I’m not mad, you wanna feel clean don’t ya...” I said in a kind voice. Closelens’s hands meekly touched against his own chest trembling slightly. 

Closelens optics very slowly turned to face me but... It was still so void full, like he was looking past me with pain in his optics. wanting to say something but having no words for it.

His expression was like the dead. His field was so hard to dissect, more then 400 emotions of all different shades ebbed and changed per second it was a mess. 

“I’m not mad, please use your words...” I said

But he just shut back down all over again. I wanted to cuddle him, hold him tell my Closelens that I’d never fail him again. But I already did, what reason did he have to believe I could take take care of him.

“Please, go...” he whispered under his breath.

“Don’t push me away, here I can help you get cleaned up,” I said getting him some of my better soop. The moment I touched him his field went dark and he stood up glaring down at me.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Closelens shouted in pure rage I hadn’t seen before from him. I was shocked at first but I needed to get into master mode to respond to his outburst. I stood up as well to remind him of my height letting him be reminded who I am.

He put his hands over his mouth and rattled with fear, looking up with remorseful optics. 

I got closer to intimidate him further.

“Closelens, I know your hurt, I understand that and am willing to give you time to heal but do not forget your place, do not rase your voice to me again. I’ll let this one slide, but don’t make a habit out of it alright,” I said in a semi serious tone. Closelens said nothing but looked down armour rattling.

Pull back a little...

“Easy pet,” I said slowly reaching for his hands and gently led him back to sitting again.

Closelens’s P.O.V

Was I insane now, Is that what happened?

I couldn’t vent right, I just yelled at Jazz... how am I still alive? 

I just bowed my helm as I sat back down again. Jazz was superior to me in every way, why dose he even tolerate me? 

The best word seemed to be ‘lucky’ but I didn’t feel anything like it but.

I just needed to stop again, resisting him will accomplish nothing.

I let him wash me, I let him do whatever he wanted. I made no more protest I just retreated only occasionally whining about Springers phantom hands on me and if Jazz touched a sensitive places. I didn’t want him to touch me at all. Everything reminded me... the Wrecker left nothing untouched. But I needed to keep my mouth shut so I didn’t make the real dangerous mech think he had to hurt me. 

My spark felt hollow but I just ignored it.

I wanted to say ‘what more could he do’ but I’m not stupid. There was still a lot of things he could do to me really hurt and I’m not talking about the damn Flog.

Jazz was thankfully gentle with me and helped dry myself off. And we retired to the living room In return I drank energy out of his hand like a good broken pet. My gaze was dark and my moves were drone like, stiff and lifeless. I had no energy to expend and nothing to care about. I felt like a husk, dead and empty. Exempt Primus wouldn’t come for me, left in my purgatory forced to live by a cruel puppet master.

His name was Autobot Jazz. Second in command of the Autobot and Gatekeeper to my own personal heaven and hell.

This is what he wanted, absolute obedience... a toy to his whim whatever it may be.

I was destroyed, I was hurt and Jazz’s simple touch only made me crumble more. I don’t want to be here. I want to go home, back to my lab on the lone in the middle of nowhere on the lone moon. 

Bad things happened here.

I had told Springers I wouldn’t fight but I was granted no mercy. It’s hard to tell if I was safe with Jazz. 

He said yesterday that I could go with some other Autobot named Hotshot but... I was barely hanging on with my current master I didn’t want to have to go through everything again. Lean some new masters patterns. I didn’t want to be here but at least I know a ruff idea what to expect.

Did I?

Jazz likes my reactions and I know he raped prisoners.

That made everything different now, this small nugget horrified me. And together held a not so good painting of my future.

I had a lump in my intake trying to shake that thought out of my helm. I didn’t want this...

Primus I needed to make this work. I couldn’t frag up no, I know he could control his field. He could be at the blades edge and I’d be clueless.

After all that Jazz let me go back to the berth. He led me there so I wouldn’t try hiding somewhere. Not that I’d be stupid enough to run from him while he’s sober.

“Remember, you have my Comlink if you need anything, more Energon, electric blanket another cleaning. please don’t hesitate.” 

Why did he want to be nice.

I felt my temperature rise.

He made no sense. 

Primus I’m so lost...

I started leaking lubricants again, I was so lost. I had no idea what to think. Jazz was scary absolutely terrifying, he could destroy me without any effort. This mech could hurt me beyond repair but didn’t. 

Oh my spark, it felt weird.

I haven’t been good or really all that fun for him. He gave me such a hurt expression, he wasn’t happy with me so why put up-

That’s why he’s handing me off like Hammy downs. 

I was failing my job and Jazz wants me gone. Like that I started to sob uncontrollably. 

I should feel lucky he wasn’t terminating me but I just wasn’t sure, I didn’t know what to feel. My molested Spark felt only hurt. I couldn’t feel anything else. I felt the hands on my chest again. The ripping, the pinning of my wrists it all washed back.

“Sweet thing?” He said turning back around worried grabbing my hands making me panic.

Primus what if he wants to make sports out of me, entertain himself. I can’t imagine what he’s like board...

“I fraged up,” I cried “I’m so so sorry. I promise I’ll get better Master!”

“I know you will, I’ll be here every step. I forgive you for yelling at me,” he said but I just shook my head.

“Th-that’s not what I meant, I promise I’ll make you happy. I’ll get better a-and you can do whatever you want to me, I promise I’ll be fun for you again,” I cried harder Jazz got closer concerned, but it felt like the walls were closing me in. 

“Easy your having a panic attack,” He said

I needed to vent but I couldn’t my chest tight my body spastic. Jazz was going through the trouble of helping me heal yet I was a mess. My only job was to keep him happy yet he wasn’t. My spark felt horrible, I wanted to tare it out and clean it again. I wanted another wash. I was still disgusting. Springer was still there, touching me.

I kept messing up, why can’t I do one thing right? But no I kept failing over and over, why? I had to obey, just shut off and listen why do I keep messing up?

“I failed I failed i so sorry!” I said in a flurry. He stroked my helm gently trying to calm me down. I hid behind my hands my temperature kept rising. “My Spark... I want it to stop.”

Jazz’s P.O.V

Closelens was having a episode, I saw him use his other servo to scratch at his chest pathetically. His spark must be tugging at the force bond with Springer, it wasn’t a real bond so there wouldn’t be communication or any of the other perks to a natural bond. It would cling to nothing and hurt because it wasn’t anything to hold on to. Disgusting...

He was barley able to tolerate it before but it only continue to hurt. 

Because he has likely never made so much as a casual bond all this was new to him.

“Shhh it’s ok, it’s going to be fine. I’ll call Ratchet and set up a appointment to get it closed off alright...” I said but he just cried more. Poor thing was shattered. 

“I feel so... empty, please make it go away!” He said sitting up and tackling me with a huge. 

Oh no...

He held himself against my chest desperately his body like a furnace. This was bad... he’d seek out some to complete the Spark bonding presses with. I very gently pushed him back a little. He had no clue what he was doing. My temperature rises a good deal.

“Closelens, listen to me... get back to bed you need to rest.”

It took a bit but he did and I gave him the room to himself.

I closed the door behind me, I covered my face telling my interface system to heel. That was sooooooo far off limits. He’s a cutie but I spasticity put doing that kind a slag so far behind. I’m better now, Never never never again. 

That peace of slag Springer did this to him, Closelens didn’t want me. I was just his owner nothing more. I was better then taking advantage of people in his position. I needed to call Ratchet now!

I know why I chose him. I wanted redemption, I wanted to get what I wanted. The reactions the respect that look of terror I got whenever I enter a interrogation room. I’d just sit in the back until Prowl called me up to make them talk. That look of fear that they knew someone warranting my attention. 

And... what I did to them when I got real alone time, when they were strong enough to resist everything I could throw at them... that’s how it started... It was just another means of torcher I told myself. But.. it because infections.

I’ve always been sadistic but that was just a side I’d mostly leave for the berth and my lovers, never to far of corse. But who cared about prisoners I thought. I became... something else. I lost control seeing it as therapeutic a means to release stress. Mirage’s death was my tipping point.

He begged for mercy best he could. He pleaded me to spare him that he’d get better... kinda like Closelens in there, he couldn’t take care of himself and... I ...

I couldn’t, his mind was gone but his memory intact. He was a liability, Hound begged me to find another way.

There was nothing I could do. 

Being second in command means being a leader, but also doing the hard things Prime wouldn’t do. Everything was always on my shoulders always. I never wanted to hurt Mirage, he was my number 2 my most loyal soldier he’d die for me.

I shot him throw the chest, his eyes... looking big and full of fear. 

Something in me snapped I wanted to make the Cons hurt, feel a fraction of the pain I felt. Soundwave destroyed my best friend.

And I was... soooo wrong. 

Closelens is scared of me... but... so am I.

Closelens needs me, I want to take care of him. I want to feel needed wanted I want responsibility to help for once in my life. I deserve no worse then the smelting pit for my crimes. But if I can get him throw this in one peace I’d be worth it all.

But I already failed him. 

I let him pay for my mistakes.

I pulled strings to keep people quiet keep the prisoners coming to keep my monster house open. When I Revealed what I’d done I had gone to far to turn back.

Ratchet forgave me... 

It still feels unreal, he was in charge of patching up my... work. I ordered him to keep his mouth shut and just fix what I broke. 

He wanted nothing to do with it, results or not but no. I was to selfish to think about how much it was affecting him. 

I came to him on my knees begging for help, that I was sick, something was wrong with me. He said he’d only help if I’d come clean to Prime and I did.

My Prime should have had me executed.

He didn’t say it or show it but... I’ll never forget the look in his optics. The profound disappointment, it hurt more then anything he could have said.

Once again I got away with some of the most horrible things to happen during the war.

I have a lot to make up for and the war ending only made it impossible for me to make amens. I wallowed in my own self pity when suddenly the Cons became up for grabs. I went into the prisons just to look when I saw something small hiding underneath some blankets. I asked Fort Max to hold him for me until I was ready to take him.

Once I felt I was ready I decided to rase a pet instead of a slave. This way I could get my selfish kicks and then they’d depend on me more. I wanted someone who might appreciate that big bad Autobot Jazz asked for so little. Yet I could be happy with there fearful reaction. 

For once in a looooong time I was happy. 

But yet... I was still to selfish to care about Closelens feeling.

I’m still a horrible person, and... now I was really worried about his safety. He needs to recover, he needs to get better.

If not then he’s just another of my poor victims.

I can’t... feel like this. I can’t want him like this... it doesn’t matter how needy he get to spark merge with someone. He was off limits. 

I will not lose control. 

Never again.


	28. Ch 28: Communication

Ch 27

Communication 

Jazz’s P.O.V

Closelens recharged the day away, his body working extra hard to heal. Of corse I didn’t mind.

But the radio silence worried me a good deal. I checked on him often just to make sure he was still okay but what broke my spark was seeing him in uneasy recharge. Kicking slightly shifting and his body shaking.

Poor thing was having a bad dream. I sat down next to him and stroked his help lightly, slowly bringing him back to reality. He sat up slowly, taking one tired look at me before combusting into tears all over again. He snuggled against me despite for comfort, but I couldn’t provide what he was looking for other then letting him nestle on my chest. His temperature was still throw the roof. No amount of rest could fix that. After he calmed down I tried to let him down slowly but he had grabbed me.

“I don’t want you to go, please... don’t go,” he said in his sweet little voice. It was so... child like and helpless. I didn’t like to here it like that, normally if he was scared of me then I’d be able to tell him I wouldn’t hurt him and that would be that. 

Pits I’d even find it fun.

But this wasn’t.

“Closelens please, you need to rest.” I said gently, he looked exhausted when I had a idea, I started to hum to him. No song, just some made up toon that popped into my head. It didn’t take long for Closelens to slowly relaxed let himself drift out. 

“I don’t want to sleep, please,” I ignored his pleas saying nothing but continuing to hum. His mind probably just repeated itself over and over in his helm going over every little thing that horrible Wrecker did to him. He, clearly wanted to be anywhere but his own head. After 10 minutes or so he started to really struggle to stay awake. 

I wish I could let him stay up but... his body needed it. Or else he’d heal slower or worse not at all.

I watched his gorgeous ruby optics close and he was once again down and out. I stayed a bit longer just to be sure waiting until he was in recharge. And before I left I gave him a small kiss on the forehead too keep the bad dreams away. He was so cute while recharging... 

I managed to pull myself away from the mech and I quietly closing the door behind me.

I got to my hub to call Ratchet. He was probably sick of me by now.

Hatchet’s Link:

“What did you do now,” a grumpy voice said flatly.

“Hey Ratchet good to see you too,” I said nicely before I continued “Closelens is having Spark detachment issues could we set up a appointment.”

“Of corse, But you might have to be wait a few days, I have a lot on my plate at the moment and severing a fake bond isn’t easy.”

“Thanks Ratchet, you should see how needy he is,” I said innocently. But the moment the words let me I knew how Ratchet would interrupt it. 

“Keep your servos off him, have a cold shower or whatever you need to do else where,” Ratchet ordered. “He’s going to be confused and fragile the last thing he needs is you taking advantage of him,”

“I won’t,” I said. He had nothing to worry about, Closelens was off limits.

“Good... are, are you doing better. I mean when you were here you had a lot to say,” Ratchet said going back to a more kindly voice. “The night of the party, what got you drinking. That’s normal you’re crutch when your stressed.”

A wave of embarrassment washed over.

“It was nothing, the party just swept me up you know.” I said waving it off.

“Jazz, I don’t give me that slag, I know Optimus came over.” Ratchet said unimpressed I just scowled.

“Well if you know the reason then why ask,” I said aggressively 

“Because I wanted to hear you say it, was it something he wanted, was it Hound-“

“No it... it was just... OP looked nice,” I admitted with a shamefully look. 

“I thought you were over him?” Ratchet asked

“Me too, he was just... Optimus, he hates me,” I said Oh where to start, Yeah I’m failure in almost every way. I let my fellow Autobot down I... fraged up. I let everyone down because I couldn’t keep my feelings in check. Now I was being gift wrapped a second chance and I still blew it.

“Optimus doesn’t hate you, he doesn’t hate anyone. I don’t even think he know how,” Ratchet said in his matter of fact voice. “Do you need me to call him up to ask?”

“I’ll live, but thank you.” They had better things to do then here me sob some more.

“Well, just make sure you don’t brake your little guy anymore more. So don’t be stupid okay?” He said “And if you need anything, absolutely anything, you know where to find me.”

“Thanks Ratch, bye.” I repeated, as he said his goodbyes. How did I ever get so lucky to have a friend like him. I really don’t deserve him.

I did wish he was free to do the operation now, having a needy cutie pie like Closelens like this will be... distracting. 

When my pet was in a better mind set and didn’t look like he had to fight to keep his Optics open, I’d explain everything. But his frame was in bad shape he needed to just rest.

I got a cold cube small of alcohol grade and downed it. No more then that, not gonna repeat that mistake...

Suddenly I got another call. I looked over at my Hub and I saw-

Prime?

I didn’t wait a second before answering. But looking back it, was probably came off more desperate then anything. I kept my tone casual.

“Hey OP,” I said 

This had to be a fluke chance, there’s no way Ratchet set this up that fast.

“Hello Jazz, I just heard some... news about you,” Optimus said making my Energon run cold. Oh no what were people saying. “Ratchet told me you could use some advice.”

Damn it Ratchet... I didn’t want to tell Prime what happened, I... 

No.

Just talk to him.

I took a heavy vent.

“Prime... why dose it fell like I can’t do anything right,” I said in a softer voice.

“Ah yes I was told about the party and what happened, Prowl is trying to find something to pin Springer with. So fare trust passing and distraction of property is the best we have. That is if you want to engage,” 

“Of corse I do, that peace of slag deserves to pay for what he did to Closelens! He was just doing all this to hurt me.” I said letting the irony roll off my glossa. “I know how that must sound, I didn’t want this to happen, I’d never put my Con in danger,” I said almost like a plea. 

“I believe you old friend, is he ok,” Prime asked sounding thoughtful.

I had to stop to swallow my emotions. I felt so jittery I had to sit down.

He was bad, he was really bad... who am I trying to kid, Closelens was ruined and it’s all my fault. The only reason he wanted to be close to me was because of his programming wanting to finish downloading a code. Other then that I’m just a bad master who couldn’t see past my own needs. 

He deserves so much better. 

He was scared of me but had nothing to turn to for support. I’m forcing him to want to be with me. What really makes me so different from Springer.

“He... he’s hurt pretty bad, I don’t know what to do,” I said unable to hold back my emotions. He couldn’t see my field become of contortion of bitter self hate and doubts. “I want to help him but, I’m so lost.” 

I held my helm in my hands pulling my knees up on the couch with me. 

“We all are, especially in such dark times. But if you taught me anything it’s that no task is to big or small to overcome. In all the years we’ve known each other you’ve never quit on me.” Prime said, I could here his smile in his voice. “No matter how many times I said something couldn’t be done or a plan was to dangerous, you proved me wrong time and time again. The out of the box thinker you are. So I’ll tell you the same.” Optimus said “Believe in yourself more, I do.”

“Still, after everything I... did,” I said, I could never tell if Prime was just being nice. Everything he said always felt genuine. It’s why sarcasm never fit him well. I destroyed any good will I had a long time ago. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Jazz, the day I stop believing in redemption is the day I stop being Optimus. The fact that your trying at all, tells me a lot. So of course I believe in you. If you want him better, you will find a way.”

“Prime is it any wonder half your troops head over heels in love with you,” I chuckled to bring some levity to the feels I felt.

“Really, here Sideswipe said it was all in my shoulder,” he joked making me smile. Funny part is I’d believe that. It was rare to hear OP make a joke, that’s how I could really tell he was serious about making me feel better. How could he ever forgive me. 

“Don’t give up, you only fail when you cease trying. And when the both of you are good and ready we’ll go after Springer,” OP was a living inspiration I’d never be worthy of but completely smitten by.

“Prime, I... thank you,” I said feeling better about Closelens but hurt in a different way. 

“Any time old friend.”

Like that I was landed the finishing blow that shattered me. I hated being called that. It hurt in a similar way to how Closelens regressed into calling me Master some times when he’s hit a new realm of self appointed horror. 

Funny thing is I’ve never came clean about my feelings for OP, I don’t know why I just... I wished he’d noticed me on his own. Realize I’d be his number 2 for as long as he wanted. Damnit why do I make this so complicated. 

“Jazz, My counsel would like to meet up in a few days, I’d like you there but if you need more time don’t feel pressured to go. Springer is there representing the Wreckers until Kup returns. I had asked him before any of his... behaviour altered.” Optimus said

“No I’ll be there,” I said before comprehending everything he said. 

Oh boy...

“Alright, if your sure. Well I best be off, I have some work to finish. See you in a few days, I’ll send exact dates and time by the end of today. Goodbye Jazz please feel better,” he said

“Bye OP.” I said as he hung up.

My field was both more organized yet more a mess. I slowly touched my chest as it pinged in pain. Damnit why? Optimus was... a perfect mech, I saw no flaws in him.

I felt stupid. I went back to my Energon refinery and got another small cold cube of alcohol grade. I was about to drink it back without a thought before giving it another look. 

Optimus took the time out of his day just to make sure I was okay. Don’t spoil his kind words by knocking back a bunch reasons why he should mistrust me.

Pits if I can be good for Prime I could be for Closelens to... 

I put it down and layer back down. I heard the Washrack again, Closelens must be up... I decided to give him some privacy. He probably had a lot going on and needed some alone time. 

I decided to put on some music, MJ always makes me feel good.


	29. Ch 29: Gratitude

Ch 29

Gratitude

Closelens’s P.O.V

I got up slowly I looked around with a tired expression. I used my servo to rubbing my tired optics trying to get them to focus. My lower half didn’t feel as busted as before thankfully but that wasn’t my concern 

“Jazz...” I said looking around but he wasn’t there. He left me all alone again. I pulled all the white blanket on the berth into a ball to hug. I whined as I pulled it close and started crying again for no apparent reason. I needed... something. I wasn’t even fully sure what it was but I was a wreck.

My body felt better almost every time I woke up even if they were only 2 hours or so. Jazz only bothered me once fuel me medic grade. He was even nice enough to let me go to the Washrack as many times as I’d like. I felt clean for a while but it just never lasted but still he was so understanding.

It feels like he really dose want me better, he take such tender love and care while I’m healing. Even while I was healing whenI was punished he gentle.

I don’t want to trust him but he just... he puts me in such a comfortable state. I never felt like he’d sneak attack me or randomly do something hurtful. 

He only ever surprised me with kindness or apologizing when he felt like he went to far.

Primus I know it has to be some grand master plan but I don’t want to care or overthink anymore. I just want to feel safe, to believe Jazz will take care of me. That he wouldn’t hurt me beyond repair. That I will make good in serving him better when I’m...

Healed.

Was that so wrong?

I wanted to talk to him, tell him all this. Maybe it will make things easier. I’ll step lightly of corse he is my master and I was lucky he’s giving me time to get better.

When we were coming home after seeing Sunstreaker we had a real talk, I wanted that again.

I nuzzled the pile of blankets I’ve collected.

My hub showed me the link I had to Jazz, he wasn’t on it and maybe talking from a distance... it couldn’t hurt. Right?

Be fore I knew what I was doing my hub chose to call him.

My spark stoped, it felt instant regret. Primus... That was stupid. What if he was busy? Why couldn’t I just left good enough alone and kept to myself. I panicked when I heard Jazz’s voice.

“Closelens, you need something?” He asked. I sat up still holding the blanket with a loss of words. I didn’t want to hang up, that be rude! I tried to muster a word but I suddenly couldn’t remember language.

“Closelens?” He asked again but I still couldn’t make words. That’s when I heard the footsteps from across the house. My vents were set to max as I failed to do anything a rational person might do. Like tell him it was fine or something had startled me or anything other then nothing.

“I-I- uh,” that was the best I could muster before Jazz had barged in throw the door making me squeak in surprise. Like that he was at my side making me strongly flinch back with a yelp. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked thoughtful checking to make sure I wasn’t any eminent distress.

“It-... I umm,” I was a nervous wreck. What was wrong with me? My panic manifested in me pulling my knees under me and bowing my helm against the berth. I simply ignored any soreness or discomfort.

“I’m sorry!” I cried out shivering, I felt my tank turn and sick. How could I have forgotten my place, I can’t just call up to chat, I wasn’t a guest. Primus I’m just lucky he likes enough to keep around let alone take care for me. This mech could bring me Hell. He had carte blanche to do what he pleases with me. A change of spark would destroy me now... “I-I didn’t mean to waste your time,”

Jazz had no anger in his field.

“Pet, calm down and use your words,” he said With a smooth tone.

“I- I was just being stupid, this is a emergency link and and-. I’m so so sorry!”

Jazz’s P.O.V

Awwwwwwwwwww he’s so cute! Yes! This is my normal Closelens and this is the fear I like. I use this to be the benevolent master who could makes problems go away. couldn’t help but let a smirk stretched across my face. I crawled onto the berth with him and like that he latched onto me like a magnet.

No no no stay in character, but don’t go overboard. He needed to trust me again and if he is reaching out I need to take it.

“Relax I’m not going to hurt you even if you have nothing important to say,” I said lightly putting my hand on him. That was a bit to mean, dial it back more. And Yep, he was still rocking a high temperature. “Did something spook you?”

“No I...I just wanted to talk to you,” he said shyly sinking his shoulders up all embarrassed.

Well I don’t know about him but... yeah I’d be nice to just talk.

“Sounds nice,” I said in a more casual tone to ease him out discomfort. In all honesty a good talk seems very much needed.

“Lets start by me explaining why your frame is a billion degrees,” 

I expanded how his frame was seeking another spark to complete a code download. That I’d called Ratchet to get rid of the code in question. Closelens followed easily but got uncomfortable being so close to me.

Aww he was embarrassed...

“So what your saying is... I’m looking to spark merge so that’s why I’ve been latching myself on to you as much as I have been,” he said calmly with a slight edge of horrific realization. I simply nodded, He curled himself up with a ‘kill me now’ expression.

I chuckled, slightly as he hid his face.

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad. In fact I’m very flattered,” I joked, he continued to fall to his side and burrowing under the pile of blankets to hide his shame. 

Closelens was too precious

Closelens’s P.O.V

Primus I was horrified, I was unintentionally feeling up Autobot Jazz. No wonder I feel so gross, what is wrong with me! But that wasn’t the only reason I chose to hide here. 

Springer said he was a rapist. That he abused his power to molest prisoners. If that’s the case then...

Why didn’t he make a move on me. 

I was needy and vulnerable, nothing I could do even if I wasn’t... like this. So why hold back. If interface was all he was after he would have done it... right? 

I was so confused.

He’s right there, sooooo talk to him...

No no no that would be dumb. If I ask he might suspect I know something, I saw how he reacted any other time I mentioned it. There’s no way I could beat him to Ironhide’s in the state I’m in now.

I took a deep long and slow vent...

Jazz slowly lifted the blanket over me like a tent, with a kind expression.

“Didn’t mean to scare you off like that,” he said looking down at me. I was still comfortably in the foetal position. 

His visor lit up the blankets around us. His small smile looked genuine. But I couldn’t lose myself, this mech was someone I must treat with absolute undying respect. 

“sorry master...” I said quietly, I never thought myself capable of being inappropriate, never did I think to hard about me hugging his chest whenever I could. My spark hurt sooooo much, being close just... felt right. 

But with Jazz? Not in this life. Primus I don’t know if I’d be able to just let him have his way with me if he wanted. I think I’d try and fight, beg or try and bargain my way out, kinda like I tried with-

A wave of emotions hit me hard. Springer didn’t listen to me, what are the chances Jazz wouldn’t do the same. Or if he did would I be too frighten to protest. 

Would that be the sort of obedience he would expect.

Primus please don’t let him rape me too. 

I wanted to start crying again. I hated the idea of that scenario. I started to panic at the thought alone. How truly helpless I’d be. My spark and chest tightened in grief as vivid memories of Springers dirty talk sounded in my mind. 

Jazz brought the blanket over himself so we’d share the tent, he must have felt my distress in my field.

“Easy pet,” he said slowly reaching for the side of my face lightly stroking it. I broke...

“Thank you for not rapping me,” I said in tears. It’s true, if he did hurt me like that I don’t know what I would have done. But Jazz has had plenty of time and infinite chances, this has being either the most longest game ever or he really wasn’t looking for... that. 

From expression on his face he seemed not ok with the thought of hurting me like that. Extremely telling was his confused field, like that I felt nothing but gratitude.

“Closelens-“

“You could have been like Springer. You could have torture me to the point of broken sanity but you didn’t, Thank you so much Master thank you,” I sobbed sitting up and holding his hand on the side of my face. 

Jazz’s P.O.V

It elevated my spark to hear him say that, that I’d done something right along the way. I want him to like me... Mercy as a weapon and I had his gratitude as a reward. His affection...

I hate that it took Springers to get him here. This wasn’t how I wanted to do this but his voice, his field felt so genuine so real it was hard not to fall in love with it. This here, was beautiful...

“Closelens, please just call me Jazz. I promised you at the beginning remember, I’ll get you throw all of this and I meant it,” I said. Oh I hope this helps him recover. I want him to be better I want to take all his pains and worry’s away.

This sweet mech deserved better. 

I am willing to be better.

“Thank you,” the microscope said again. I watched his tears of gratitude until he was calm enough to speak again.

 

“Primus, I’m such a crybaby,” he said drying his eyes, But I only smiled.

“I don’t mind,” I said truthfully. 

“Y-your So patient a-and so-“ he tried to say but I interrupted.

“Don’t sell yourself short, I told you if you were obedient I’d reward you,” I said but he insisted.

“You didn’t have to be and that’s my point, it’s why I’m grateful,” he said sitting himself more comfortably under the blanket.

No, I didn’t really deserve this much gratitude, I... I didn’t get to where I am now because I carried myself with mercy. I’m still just doing this for myself.

“I did some-“

My spark froze up, I couldn’t tell him. I can’t say it out loud, I-I’d ruin the moment.

My sparked pinged with guilt, he deserves to know. 

All this praise was hallow without context.

“How are you feeling, anything hurt?” I asked hoping to change the subject. Closelens shook his helm and put his hand on his chest, message received. “We’ll go to Ratchet’s as soon as he opens a spot up for ya. You just have to bare it a bit longer okay.”

“Again I’m sorry I’m so emotional,” he said again.

“It’s fine you’ve been throw a lot, your stronger then you think,” I said, his red optics looked at me with a sense of aww. I suddenly had a idea... “Hey Closelens, think you can stand now,”

I know he could move his legs better then before.

“I-I think so, why?” He asked.

I just smiled deviously...

I helped him get up, Closelens was still shaky and it wasn’t like going to be running anytime soon but he could stand. 

“Okay okay I think I got this,” he said balancing all on his own. “So, where are we- EEK!” 

I tossed the white sheet over him and scooped him up bride style. But just in a way that trapped him in the blanket. He started to struggle a little bit in his panic but just let himself calm down a little. I heard a small whimper from under the sheets. 

“Don’t worry pet your fine,” I said with a chuckle.

I made my way up to the roof, it was almost 10 o’clock so it be starting soon...


	30. Ch 30: Mixing Salts

Ch 28

Mixing Salts

Closelens’s P.O.V

I was feeling a little childish for wanting to cry from Jazz’s spontaneous, but I was more curious then scared. I didn’t hate being carried, my old lab partners said I makes me easily transportable making up for my Altmode. I liked Skipper but she was transferred years ago, I wonder where she is now...

I felt something brush across my plating... wind? 

“Are we outside?” I asked curiously.

“A little bit,” he said playfully.

“Okay,” I said not sure how to respond. 

Suddenly Jazz gently let me find my footing and helped steady me. I didn’t want to take off the blanket without permission, so I kinda just stood there... being a ghost.

That’s when I herd a bang that made me squeak in surprise. 

Are we under attack! Who’s attacking! Why am I a ghost while we’re under attack! White sheets make awful camouflage.

Before I started to panic Jazz then unveiled me too... the roof of the pent house. Cybertron below was lit up with all sorts of odd lights and more loud bangs. The balding on the other apartments hade there roofs filed with other mechs and femmes watching the display.

A explosion of colours exposed in the sky, but not like explosive explosions.

What was happening, what is this?

“Ya know what today is?” Jazz asked I looked around more confused looking for clues. Thankful it was rhetorical. “Its the one year anniversary of the war being over. You never went to earth but those colours there are a human tradition called fireworks. Wheeljack recreated them to be even bigger. ‘Little surprised they didn’t go nuclear...”

I was listening but I was looking more at the Fireworks... they were so... pretty and so simple.

A red one went off making me flinch. Before I stared at it with aww...

Strontium salt, lithium salt, calcium salt, bits of iron and charcoal with a sodium compound. Magnesium copper... 

The scientists was so simple but that’s what gave it its red colours. How has no one thought of this before.

Yes the loud bangs made me jump slightly but this was amazing.

Jazz’s P.O.V

I don’t think Closelens was listening, he was looking at the fireworks. The amazement in his optics, like this was borderline magical to him.

I saw the fireworks in the reflection in his paint, or at least what was left. His lower body got weak so he needed to lean on me for support. He was still running a high temperature so he just might be subconsciously needy but I don’t mind, If felt him next to me, relaxed. Forgetting the rest of the world watching the balls of fire.

A year ago...

I remember that final fight, it felt like centuries ago...

We were on earth-ish, side by side with the human forces trying to stop moon from falling. Shockwave made a sciencewhatamajigit that turned the moon into a world ending bullet. Me, Prime and our Gallery of soldier old and new, flesh and metal fought on Mars. Like always we were out gunned and out numbered, as we always were. But we did it anyways.

When we got to the Machine it turned out there was no off switch.

At least not any we thought.

We had taken the all Cons Prisoner but it turned out Prime still hard one final choice to make...

Megatron, our prisoner and Optimus oldest friend was the off switch. So long as his spark flicker the earth would die. Megatron had only joy in his optics seeing Prime struggle to finish this, called him out for being soft, gentle, weak... that no matter Prime’s choice he’d get the last laugh.

Of corse I offered to do it, me and Ironhide both. 

He insisted on us staying out of it. The pain and hurt in Primes optics never ever looked so, crushed. He begged him to turn it off promising him anything! Peace was here! Hope was in reach, that he could finally rest.

But still Megatron refused.

25 minits with me and I’d have him begging me to let him turn it off. I would have had fun melting his armour onto his protoform... It’s the least he deserves after everything. He didn’t deserve Primes mercy...

I hated him for making Optimus make that choice. Primus that what I’m here for, to my servos dirty cleaning up messes. Primus, I would have done it with a smile on my face. The idea of executing a prisoner killed him inside.

But no, Prime was forced to put a gun to his best oldest best friends spark chamber and-

A fireworks blast went off in the distance getting my attention.

I looked down at Closelens, still leaning on me. It was hard to believe that that this gentle sparked mech looked up to a monster like Megatron. But there he had the Decepticon logo on his shoulder.

That’s when a dark thought entered my mind.

What if past me got ahold of him during the war... no I didn’t want to think about it. I wouldn’t have known how sweet or how determined he is or strong. All I would have saw was another toy to brake.

Closelens was now looking at me feeling my distress from my field and opted to hold my hand. He leaned in more hug my arm a with a glint of graduating.

He truly was helping me save myself from me.

He was going to get me through this just as much as I will for him. I extended a gentle look and gave him gratitude back. It doesn’t mater he doesn’t know what I did, just having someone here...

And he forgave me for my blunder as his master. I didn’t deserve it but...

It meant the world.

It was the perfect moment.

He looked so.... peaceful as more fireworks went off.

One year... he probably spent 90% of it behind bars hiding in blankets. But he’s here now...

Funny, I kinda wanted to tell him about me going to see Springer. I wanted to ask if he wanted to come with me to the meeting or just hang here. But I’ll ask later for not I’d rather not ruin his fun.

Suddenly a flurry of Green fireworks making him chuckle.

I looked down.

“What’s so funny?” I asked

“Nothing it just... Barium and Chloride, I never would have thought of that to make festive explosions let alone green ones. The simplicity of human science, I-I’ve only used it to make weapons to hurt others. I’d never think to make something like this in a billion years,” he said calmly still geeking out.

He said as we saw a few blue ones. He listed in excitement “Copper and Chlorine!” 

Closelens is so cute when he’s all excited like this.

“You sure you don’t like science a little?” I asked jokingly.

“That would be cemeteries and everyone know it only fun when stuff explode,” he said a little less timidly then normal. He was starting to feel comfortable, that’s good.

“Heh, you and Wheeljack should meat, I think you two could agree on that,” I said putting the sheet over his shoulder and the mine so we both could keep warm. He still didn’t take his optics off the lights.

I could see his processor study each light figuring out what made the colours the way they are. He was so smart too, pits my first time seeing them I was all like ‘ooo pretty.’

No, I knew he wasn’t slow. He knew his best chance of survival was to keep me pleased. Closelens swallowed his pride to stay alive and because of that I got to have moments like this. 

Luna 1 was high in the sky with no obstructions in the view. The fireworks were just icing on the cake.

“Jazz... I... Thank you,” he said pulling more of the blankets closer, “Your a good mech.”

A ping of guilt hit.

“Honestly you give me to much credit, but thank you,” I said just taking the compliment this time. I wish I could tell him but... it’s to soon. 

I can’t tell him I’m a serial r-... that I did that.

I felt him huge me a bit tighter and squeaked adoringly, when a very loud boom went off releasing a big finally, white sparkles and explosions of purple mean while a giant red Autobot logo lit up in the sky.

Closelens face was priceless, he never seen anything so beautiful before in his life. A once in a life time show of colour and magic. We watched them glow into a fade As they disappeared into the night I could hear the faint cheering of the city. 

Fantastic job, hope Wheeljack is proud of himself.

Closelens’s P.O.V

I relaxed myself and simply hugged Jazz. I was a little sad to see the lights go. I wish I would have recorded it to watch latter. Primus, I was just happy Jazz let me watched them celebrate there victory. He didn’t have to bring me up here but he did. 

Then something came to mind.

“Jazz, if this is a celebration then why aren’t you at some kind of party?” I asked. Jazz love those kind of social events.

He just waved his hand.

“Naw, Blaster doesn’t need me stealing his spotlight,” Jazz said brushing it off. “Plus I’ve been stuck with them bunch for 4 million years, sick of them really.”

I was shocked.

He ditched his friend to watch the fireworks with me... no he ditched a hole day long party to take care of me.

Primus he dose care, I am more then some toy. Even if not then I’m a valuable toy. That... meant a lot. 

He never had to do a thing for me but he did. All of it...

“Thank you,” I said closing my optics. He didn’t move to touch me but his frame felt light.

“No problem Closelens,” his voice said above. “Now then, let’s go inside.” 

He was about to scoop me when I halted him.

“Wait, can- can I try to walk?” I asked. He nodded, I know I recovered enough to walk. Don’t tell Jazz I was just leaning on him because my spark still In pain. 

My hips and interface hurt but I want to walk on my own. It’s one step I need to help put Springer behind me forever. 

Pun not intended.

I started walking Jazz looked ready to catch me if I fell. Honestly it’s sweet but he was making me nervous. 

But like that I was walking again, nothing fast but more then I thought.

“Look at you, you don’t need me,” Jazz said with a smile walking just behind me. I walked inside as he politely opened the door for me. I moved down the hallway and moved by memory.

“Where are you going?!” I heard my master said startled. It hit me I was standing in front to the wrong room.

The automatic door to Jazz’s bedroom when I opened I saw the berth... a rush of ptsd hit. I meant to go to the guests room... I was... I was just so used to sleeping in Jazz’s room I forgot...

But the berth sent a tsunami of emotions throw me.

My helm suddenly felt like it was being torn in two, I vented for air as flashes of Springer shot throw my mind and phantom pains went throw my spark mind and body. I fell to my knees feeling like being swallowed by darkness. I felt Jazz’s hand but they were distorted his voice different.

Was I glitching? 

He said awful things in a evil voice made up of clips from our previous conversation.

“Y0u H0n3ST- pR0b13m. “

I started to sob hanging on to the door way as my field lashed out at random. I held my chest as my spark felt like it was trying to melt me from the inside. 

I’m not a problem, I’m good... I’ve been nothing but obedient since I got here.

My optics projected mad visions the likes of it had no form or normal colour. I felt myself get sick, my tanks did somersaults I was on my hands and knees purging under me. I then grabbed my helm crushing it in my servos until the world went normal. Soon enough the visions of Springers dissipated. The back of my intake burned like acid rain. 

Jazz’s hand on my back went back to normal and I sat in the doorway sitting in front of a hot puddle of my own purge. 

“Shhh it’s okay,” Jazz whispered “Can you here me?”

I just nodded... I couldn’t make words. My voice didn’t work...

“It’s over, pet... it’s all over. Your safe...” he pulled me close not caring that I was covered in my own Energon splash back. He just held me gently as I cried into his chest.

“I’m so sorry I made a mess,” I cried softly as my voice protested speech.“I saw Springer, he was here!”

“No he’s not, your safe. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let you go in that room,” he said “look at me.”

He lifted my chin so I had to look up to his visor. My body shivering against him making my temperature rise again. I couldn’t help it, I just wanted to be held. I’m disgusting 

“I’m a patient mech, I’ll give you all the time you need. I’m sorry you had to go throw that,” he said hugging me again. I nuzzled him slightly. I had taken out Ratchet’s wrapper out of my sub space to hold.

“Thank you,” he said letting me finish my crying. 

“It okay, it’s okay...”

“I-I made a mess... your all dirty too...” I said quietly forcing myself to stop crying, I dried my face plate.

“It appears you did, but-no look at me. That’s why we have cleaner drones, and it’s why we have Washracks. Okay, it’s fine.” He said helping me to my feet. He made sure to keep my back to his room out of sight.

He took my hand to lead me to the Washrack so we could get clean. 

 

Jazz’s P.O.V

Closelens wasn’t ready to see Springer so soon. I don’t want him to have a episode like this ever again, I’d seen PTSD. Pits I have it and crippling survivors guilt, everyone dose but this was to fresh.

Why did I agree to that dame meeting so soon, I shouldn’t have agreed to it. I don’t want to leave him here all by himself but I can’t take him. He hold the chair for the Wreckers, so they’d likely see each other at some point until he was ready for me to press charges. Hopefully more so then trespassing and destruction of property. No I want that green pile of scrap to really pay.

No, rate now I just need to focus get us clean-

Hatchet online:

Text: Bring him I between 5:00-9:00. Keep hands off, I’ll be able to tell...

How about that, we have a doctors appointment tomorrow...


	31. Ch 31: No Shame

Chapter 31

No Shame

Closelens’s P.O.V

I found myself waking up in a better mood. Jazz had told me we were going to see Ratchet again last night. To see him so soon made me soooo happy. I wasn’t even worried about the surgery, I knew I was completely safe. This is thee Ratchet after all.

At the moment I was just finishing my med grade Energon from Jazz. He had me on my knees in the living room now I could move again. I guess for helping me get back in routine. l haven’t had to do this since before my punishment... was it real that long ago!

“Pet, you okay?” Jazz asked taking the empty cube. I just nodded, I had remembered all on my own I wasn’t allowed to talk during this. I’m sure he would only berate me for forgetting but I wasn’t risking nothing.

“It’s okay, I’ll let you use your words,” he said in a calm voice. He wasn’t circling me like back then ether nor touching my audio fins -which has recovered. But none of his normal intimidation stuff. Did he feel I didn’t need it or was he just being nice for the moment out of pity.

Ether way I was grateful.

Wait No, Jazz stayed home to take care of me and took me to see the fireworks. If he had any other agenda he would have easily have left me and I’d just be grateful he wasn’t forcing me to down alcohol grade. Jazz was going the extra mile, and all for me.

“I’m fine,” I said

“Alright, but do you want another trip to the Washrack before we go.” He offered I surprisingly still felt clean after we cleaned up last night.

“No thank you,” I said honestly. Jazz made a amused chuckle as he walked away washing off the empty Energon cube. It could help but sound mocking even if that wasn’t his intention.

“I love how polite you are,” He said, I could tell he was in a bit playful this morning. If that how I can describe it.

But Jazz didn’t do anything like he did before, keeping his hand to himself. Which was good, last thing I wanted was for him to make me... hot.

I can’t wait tell I won’t have to worry about that.

It was about 7:00 in the morning when we headed out. The city was surprisingly quiet. I guess after a 4 million year long war, people would wanted to sleep in for once. Or all the countless hangovers from the celebration last night. But the streets were still ghostly, and there was a lot of torn down decorations from last night everywhere.

Jazz kept a slow pace so I could walk comfortably beside him. I even gave myself the challenge of not hanging on Jazz arm ever single time a Autobot passed us. I even had my wrapper in hand for extra support.

But this time Jazz chose to mention it when he could help but hear the crinkle.

“Hey Closelens, why do you hang on to that wrapper?” He asked nicely enough, no rude inflictions or subtext.

“Oh- I... uh, Ratchet gave me a peace of candy back when I first met him at the hospital. I thought he was going to dissect me... I’ve just sorta held on to it ever since, t-to play with. I-is that okay?” I asked numerously

“Go nuts mech,” he said making me feel relief. Primus I don’t know what I’d do if he told me to throw it out. I’d really not wanted to revival it as a comfort object. It’s not like I’m lying, Prime I never especially not to Jazz’s face.

It was just to much to explain. And I don’t want to risk offending him over this, or anything like that.

Thankfully Jazz dropped it for the remainder of the walk. 

Once we reached the hospital I couldn’t help but feel a rush, I was excited. It will be nice to talk to Ratchet again in a calmer situation. The moment we entered Ratchet was yelling at Rumber and Frenzy for Primus knows what reason this time.

Jazz had us sit down until they were done. When randomly Jazz asked me a question out of nowhere.

“Closelens, I was kinda wondering, Is there any kind of music you like?” Jazz asked more shyly then normal. On went my skeptacles... what was he up to.

“Polyhex traditional,” I replied. I wasn’t much of a fan of the pop beats and lyrical stuff Iacon had or earths stuff. But I liked atmosphere peace’s, it helps me work. Granted it was before Megatron blew it off the map. 

“Oh well that makes things a bit harder...” Jazz said looking like he was thinking over something. Oh boy...

“Uh, Jazz, what are you planning?” I asked.

“It’s a secret,” he said slyly. 

Okay.

That’s when Ratchet came over to see us, he looked better then ever. Much better rested then before, good to see he was less stressed. 

“What did they do this time?” Jazz asked as looking over to see Rumble and Frenzy standing face first in separate corners looking all huffy.

“Racing down the halls in stretchers shouting ‘Rise and Revolution’ over and over again...” Ratchet said rubbing the bridge of his nose. 

“D-dose that happens often?” I asked.

“8 time...” he said. “Anyways, follow me, Jazz stay here.”

Jazz saluted and sat back down while I followed the doctor behind the big fancy hospital doors. We went to some sort of surgery prep room.

“Ok so lay down, I just want to quickly check to see how everything else is,” he said getting some of his tools ready. I had put the wrapper in my sub space, it would be embarrassed if he saw I hung on to it.

“Tell me, how is everything feeling,” Ratchet asked.

“I’m healing good, just a little stiff,” I said as a red light scanned my frame. I made sure to keep still, Ratchet looked over a data pad.

“That’s good to here, Closelens,” he said reading my name of. Again I don’t mind he has issues with names. “How about your spark.”

“Uh-“ I flushed all embarrassed. I really didn’t want to talk about how hot I was or my needy actions towards Jazz. I guess Ratchet could tell from his mannerisms.

“Relax kid, you’re in a safe space. It’s harder to help without all the information,” he said. I just nodded. I was uncomfortable talking about all that sort of stuff. 

“I’ve been really... hot. I’m... I’m more hands on and touchy then normal-“

“A need for physical contact,” Ratchet said sitting down and typing on his data pad.

I went on to explain everything, and what Jazz told me it was. Ratchet didn’t judge or make comments other then professional. Except for the last one I think...

“Jazz hasn’t attempting to merge with you in promise to ‘make it all better’ has he?” He asked a little hostile. I sat up surprised.

“No sir,” I shook my head. Jazz made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to do any of that stuff. Even with his past... should I tell Ratchet? No, it’s not relevant and if I blab he’ll tell Jazz. Its bet to keep my mouth shut.

“Alright, But I want to make clear that anything you say is strictly between doctor and pshent. Nothing you say leaves this room so if he his hurting you, don’t keep it to your self.” Ratchet said getting ready seriously. I was surprised that rule applied for slaves like me. 

“Thank you, But still No, he’s pushed me off multiple times and made sure I wasn’t in the dark about anything. And he’s been taking care of me,” I said 

“Good to know I won’t have to steal his servos,” Ratchet muttered. I looked up completely horrified.

“You’d take his hands away!” I exclaimed. 

“I made sure to tell Jazz to keep off you. He knows the consequences,” The white and red medic said. I sincerely couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“sides, It wouldn’t be the first,” he mumbled.

“It’s not...”

Ratchet just chuckled and moved on.

Primus, I take it back. Ratchet while not being the scariest mech- that still being Jazz- but the medic made all those war story’s seem more believable. 

Ratchet’s P.O.V

After setting up my tools I texted Buzzsaw to set up the O.R. I looked back over to see the small microscope looking up at me with big ,red ,scared optics.

Opps.

“Relax kid, I like you, and your master will be fine. I’m glad he’s taking care of you,” I said sitting back down, the kids field was more shocked then frightened. “You seem to be good for him too. Besides everything how are you really.”

“I-I don’t understand...” he said getting back to being uncomfortable. Looks like I’d have to spell it out.

“With Springer,” I added. His field shrank against himself. 

“I... I’ll live,” The little Con said looking away. I felt myself vent, my spark felt only sympathy. What harm could he do? What was the point? Springer is a decorated war hero, so why doesn’t he acted like it. 

Yes it goes against my profession, but sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a good medic. That I’d have the hindsight to not save the wrecker. He would have died a hero’s death, and I wouldn’t have to clean up after horrible mechs. 

I would have never imagined Jazz would have been the one to change for the better in this environment. 

“Listen, if you want I can tell Jazz to take you to see a therapist. He’s a nice guy named Rung, he’s the best there is,” I offered.

It was true, Jazz will do pretty much anything I tell him to do out of guilt. But if there’s any master out there who’d make sure there slave was in good help I think it would be Jazz. 

And Optimus but no surprise there.

“... it’s.. to soon,” he said with a hurt look.

I nodded, I’ll tell Jazz to ask him later on if he isn’t seeing improvements as well. I hate of macho some stupid mechs take it. Like there admitting defeat or something. Your not worth anything if you let your mind consumes you and let your self become a shell of your former self.

It’s just a different kind of disease.

I’m one to talk, it took me years to seek out help other then Optimus. Yes medics are trained with ptsd care in mind but that wasn’t real enough.

I still need help with what Jazz put me throw. 

But I can say I’m improving, Springer no mater how ruff and tuff can’t.

“Just know their is no shame in asking for help,” I made sure to make clear. 

I just let it go to get back on topic.

“How about we work on getting this false bond severed,” I said he nodded and went back on the stretcher as I moved him to the O.R which should be ready by now. Lucky his chest should open up easy by now so this might not take as long. I’d hate to have to brake his chest plating again. 

Closelens P.O.V

To say I was nervous was a understatement. I knew the operation would go swinging but I also don’t know how it will affect my perception on Jazz. I’ve only felt gratitude for all he’s done but when I wake up will I be disillusioned as see flats with his behaviour. 

Was my idea of Jazz some how sugar coded?

I don’t want to believe so...

I want to like Jazz, he’s scary, controlling, sadistic, assertive/dominating, mentality unhinged... but he is all I have left... nothing was mine.

I felt oddly emotional, my spark hurt to its core. 

“Primus,” I whispered under my breath as I was being carted along. I was trying to reach throw a bond that wasn’t there for comfort. But once again I was all alone in feeling this. The swell of nothing.

It’s wired how we can feel it. 

The void.

The absence and abundance of nothing. I couldn’t help by feel tears, I’d been able to keep it in check but it hurt. The hole that Springer left in my spark.

Ratchet stoped when he heard me whimper. 

“Closelens?” He asked I quickly wiped my optics.

“I’m sorry, I-I don’t know where all this emotion came from. I said with a weak smile. Ratchet had a thought full look pulled the stretcher to the side. He then reached into his sub space and pulled out another of his Energon treat handing it to me.

“I doubt I will distract but here,” 

I held it in my trembling hands making sure to unwrap it and take the delicious sour treat. I was about to put the now second wrapper into my sub space-

“Here let me toss that out,” Ratchet said and attempt to grab it but I pulled it away. He gave me a confused look.

“This is... going to sound odd but... can I keep it?” I asked feeling like a complete dunce. I felt my temperature continued to rise uncomfortably. My grip tightened on the wrapper. Ratchet blinked but just shrugged.

“Okay,” he said now with a bit of judgement.

I looked stupid but I... needed to keep it. What was wrong with me! He probably thinks I’m a freak. I placed it with the other in my empty sub space with shame. Maybe I do need help...

Ratchet took me into the O.R. A dead silent room filled with horrible tools that if I didn’t know Ratchet better I would have been screaming for mercy at the thought alone. But despite all the tools and quiet I felt perfectly safe...

Ratchet plugged me in to some machines that red my internal readouts. And came back with a needle. I couldn’t help but tense up slightly.

“Relax,” he asked as I forced myself to obey, just lean back as he stuck it in my neck cables, I made a small gasp.

“All right, this is going to put you under. It should work in just a sec-


	32. Ch 32: Misfit Toys

Chapter 32

Misfit Toys

My hub system was the first to online, followed by my optics.

I felt numb, probably because of the drugs still in my system. But slowly everything would wake up too. I looked around to see... others... it must be a O.R recovering room.

Next to me I saw... yellow. I was still in a blurry haze but what I saw... was horrifying. I had to clasp my hand over my mouth. 

A seeker... without wings...

There was hardly a crueler thing to do to a flyer. He sitting up and awake too, purging into a bucket between small quiet sobs. He back to me for me to see the burn and scars on him. His wing looked like they were... surgically removed a while ago.

No.

Ratchet wouldn’t do that. Ratchet was so kind he-he cares about us, was I... Was I wrong? Did this patient get the medic angry? He did say he’d taken hands before. 

Oh Primus, did he collect them? Are they in some horrible display to keep Soundwave in line? No because Rumble and Frenzy were still unruly. I need more information on this...

All I could see was this once big (compared to me) brave fighter was not a trembling a devolution of what he once was. I forced myself to sit up as well.

“H-hello,” my voice shook slightly. He froze completely still and went dead quiet. “My name is Closelens, who are you?”

The mech very slowly, and creepily turned to face me. And-

OH PRIMUS! 

HIS OPTICS!

They weren’t damaged or torn out the were... gone... no a scratch on him, his paint was good as new and nicely waxed. There were no sines of violence other then his back. So I was just looking into big empty voids...

Horror was only the start, he still had purge stains down his mouth. I wanted to cry out, no I wanted to scream. He put his bucket he had down and got to the floor and started to crawl to me like in a demented way. I clenched the blanket and pulled back as he got closer. I felt myself vent slower to try to seas all sound. Perhaps... it will go away. When he reached the side of my berth I stoped venting all together. I wanted it to go away. Why couldn’t leave well enough alone. Now I was forced to stair into its face as it leaned over, smelling for me. His... void optics suddenly darted down on me. I felt like pray being hunted, and I’d been coughing. I panicked and tried kicked him away but he was to big.

I just burst into tears at the deformed scary seeker. It wasn’t a mech anymore it was a beast, everything from mannerisms to look this thing was a living nightmare.

“I don’t recognize you...” it said in a normal voice but with a slight glitch in it. 

“I-I was a scientist, I’m a Con, just like you,” I said trying to calm down with that face...

“You mean slave?” He asked

“Yes,” I said not wanting to make it/him upset. Thankful he slinked off my berth and back to the floor where it crawled up it’s berth as well. “Sorry, I-I didn’t get your name.”

“It’s... uh...” it thought over. It started to scratch at its neck cables and the collar. “Sun... something...”

I couldn’t believe this... he couldn’t remember his own name, who is his master? Who was sick enough to make a mech... this bad.

I know it had been a few months since it was open season for us but I went unnoticed for a lot of the worst of it. And was luck enough to stay clear of the bad masters who wanted a beating pillow.

This, before me was broken. He was still scratched at his neck cables until they started to bleed at the bace of the collar and it’s many rings around the delicate wires. I wanted to stop him but he wasn’t even reacting to it. And I was to frightened to say anything.

“SunSP0tttttttttt,” his voice was loud distorted like in my episode in Jazz’s doorway. 

I forced myself not to panic but remain calm.

His horrific voice was loud enough to wake up on of the others who just hid himself under blankets and cried. Another big guy too..

“H-hello,” I asked again but no response other then crying. Sunspots lurked off my berth to see who it was. “No don’t,” I whispered. If this mech was sad seeing the former seekers hunting face wouldn’t help. But the yellow con just ignored me. When he got to the lump in the berth he gave the mech a poke. 

I stood up, I had to stop this. 

I ran over to the berth one over from where Sunspot was. I didn’t want to touch him but I knocked on his side lightly.

“Please, leave him alone,” I said when a large red optic peaked at me through the sheet and hid when I noticed him.

“It’s okay, non of the Autobots are here. Your safe,” I said reaching up to touch his side when he showed his face.

“Astrotrain?” I said in shock, Springer’s slave. Why was he-

Oh Primus no, the big mech started to cry again. It hurt to see this... I... I can imagine the hell he’s endured. I was... with Springer once... Springer was his master, he did have anything.

I took my hand away, he’s probably wouldn’t like been touched, he’s probably had enough for one lifetime.

“Shhh it’s okay,” I said again in a gentle voice. “Your safe,”

“He-‘ll come back, he always dose,” the large mech said. Sunspot creepily crawled off somewhere else.

“I’m so sorry,” I said in earnest. Primus I was given a reality check... Jazz was a pure angel compared to whoever did... all this to them. I was about to brake down just seeing this huge powerful mech completely shattered. I honestly have no idea how he’s still alive same with Sunspot.

Sunspot was quietly going throw the draws of medical supplies. He was like a mechanimal...

Suddenly I heard the door open, our heads looked over to see a wrecker...

But it wasn’t Springer thankfully. It was...

I don’t remember his name, he was a blueish green and old with the cigar. I shivered regardless, I was scared and staying close to Astrotrain as if he could protect me. I couldn’t help but want to see who his slave was. But with the power of deduction it was easy to tell. I belonged to Jazz, Astrotrain and Springer so that just leaves... he walked toward Sunspot...oh no... the crippled seeker was shivering like a leaf. Unrelenting horror filled his already disturbed field.

Sunspot throw himself at his masters pleds and started to kiss them as if his life depended on it. I felt sick... how could someone do this to another... we’re all children of Primus. 

Why?

“Let me look at you pet,” the old wrecker said grabbing his chin forcing the seeker to stretch his cables in a unnatural way. I didn’t like him using the term ‘Pet’... that was Jazz’s nickname for me, and he never did anything close to being as awful. After taking a good long look into his slaves void face a smile creeped across his his face.

“Beautiful...” the wrecker said clipping on a chain. “Lets go and talk to Ratchet about getting back your optics, I think I want to keep them as lucky charms...”

I couldn’t help but gasp at how twisted this all was but that’s when the the old mech turned to me making my spark stop. He slowly walked over as Sunspot crawled just behind him. I left Astrotrain to push my back into the wall cowering away. 

I-I had no words to describe the dark thoughts eating away at me. I had been alone in the company if one wrecker and Primus know I never asked for. I tensed up and bowed my helm, giving over submission in a vain hopes to appease this monster.

This... optic steeling monster...

All the horror story’s were true, Jazz was scary, Don’t anger the Autobot medic and keep away from Wreckers.

I couldn’t help but rattle in fear I was small and trapped, culminating with the sickness returning.

“Please don’t hurt me sir,” I begged. As if that would help, no doubt hearing better cries for mercy from his own slave. 

“Why are you out of your berth Ladd?” He asked with zero hidden malice. 

I had no response. I was to shaken to answer right.

“I-I w-wanted to se-ee I-if Astrotrain was alright,” I said slowly trying to pick my words carefully. The wrecker shifted his weight still assessing me.

“Fine, but when your done get back to your berth. You’re master is going to want you well rested.” He said as Sunspot nuzzled the back of his masters lag. Whom patted the seeker on the head.

Sunspot’s field was... very needy...

“When we get home pet,” the old mech said leaving Astrotrain and me alone in the room now...

After I managed to peel myself off the wall I went back to the train who had was quietly crying. I stayed close and petted the side of his helm like Jazz did when I am like this. The large train leaned into it more. 

“Astrotrain-“

“It hurts sooooo bad,” he sobbed.

“I know,” I said honestly 

“I fraged up!” He shouted field full of guilt. “I should have just took it!”

“What?” I said confused.

“I did something bad, I fraged up! I failed to entertain master like he wanted, he beats me up but this... this was different. T-then He went out to get what he wanted with some other poor con instead. Master isn’t gentle, master hurt someone because I wasn’t good enough.” He hyperventilated. I looked at him with big optics...

What?

No. 

I-I thought... Springer attached me random. I... I needed to step back.

“What happened?” I asked needing to understand what was going on. He calmed down a bit more to explain.

“The other night Springers was... touching me. He... he ordered me to do things to him. I didn’t want to but I tried. I honestly did but he wasn’t satisfied. I... I don’t really have good stamina. He said if I couldn’t make him overloud then he’d fine somebody else.”

I was gonna gonna go back to my berth. Primus this was... it couldn’t be, when-

“Please do go small com, please come back,” he whimpered. I couldn’t stop the tears this time, that some how Springer would some how blame my rape on Astrotrain. It made no sense... why?

I did as the Train asked and stayed close as he lamented more about his guilt.

“He came back bragging as he beat me that... someone else con did what I never could. One of my brothers or sister in arms suffered because of me...” 

“It’s not your fault, Springer made that choice,” I said feeling sick again. “I’m the one Springer attack, and I’m telling you it’s not your fault!” I said grabbing his hand sobbing. Astrotrain was shocked 

“B-but you’re so small...” he said looking me up and down. Guilt washed over him... “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so so so sorry-“ 

“It’s not your fault, you never asked for this,” I said back watching this mech being eaten alive by his own field. But Astrotrain was too emotionally moved by my words.

“Y-you forgive me?” He asked “How, if I’d just... if I’d just did my job none of that would have happened.”

“I didn’t blame you,” I said without hesitation. Everything was Springers own doing. It’s not Astrotrain’s fault!

“I miss Blitzwing...” He said “Springer hates me anyways. I wish he’d just kill me. All the pain would just stop and I could finally see that old lug again. He’s waiting for me, he promised he would!”

My spark sank. I had no one I cared for on the Deception. I was alway to self focus to form any meaningful relationship. Skipper being a the only one of my old team I bothered remembering. 

If Jazz killed me, no one would be waiting...

“You religious?” I asked “If that’s not to personal.”

Astrotrain shook his helm.

“I believe in the AfterSpark and... I’m not sure I can believe in any god that would let this happen to us. You?”

The answer was yes, absolutely but I understood his point. He didn’t need a preacher rate now, just a friend.

“Same,” I said “what was Blitzwing like?”

“Oh he was best spawn of a glitch you’d ever met. Me and him we tried taking over the Deception once,” he said reminiscing.

“Oh, how did that go,” I asked nicely 

“Ha, about as well as Starscreams,” he chuckled “That was back on earth, did you get to go?”

“No I didn’t,” I said happy to see him not crying

“It a really wet planet and it smells bad but it was a lot of fun when you just wanted to goof off with the natives,” He said “Blitzwing took over a football stadium and ticked off the   
Constructicons. He was a idiot.” 

“What did you to?”

“I’d rather not say,” he said a bit quieter... Astrotrain was nothing more then a well meaning lug. He was harmless. “He and I were on guard during the final day of the war, I... it was my fault... we were sneak attack and they... they shot Blitz... I should have sounded the alarm but. I forgot. I... I didn’t want to let him die alone. He was my bestest bud. I did everything I could to save him but... I lost everything. And because of me we lost the war... I deserve everything Springers dose to me... this was always all my fault.”

“...” I... I felt sorry for the guy but... if that’s true then maybe it is. I felt horrible for thinking that, I really did.

“It’s been eating at me every single day since... what would have happened if I did my fraging job for once in my life.” He asked wiping his optics “I’m sorry I unloaded all that on you, I... I don’t talk to people much. Except for Ratchet.” 

He pulled out a hand full of candy wrappers.

I blinked a few times before I pulled out my two from sub space.

“Heh, you too?” He said “I feel a little less crazy. So who is your master?” 

“Autobot Jazz,” I said as his optics widened in fear.

“Jazz... like... number 2 Jazz, the Torture?” He asked in shock

“Yes, he’s-“

The door opened again.


	33. Ch 33: Under the skin

Ch 33

Under the skin

Closelens’s P.O.V

I ran to my berth just in case I wasn’t supposed to be up. 

A lot a nose came throw as Rumble was struggling dragging Sunspot with his chain leash back into this room. I just went still pretend to be in recharge. 

“Frenzy, get your lazy aft in here!” He shouted. I don’t think he cared to much if he us woke up... the blew and red mechs worked together to strap Sunspot down into the berth. The yellow mech thrashed and growled to escape.

“Calm down buddy,” Rumble said sticking him with a needle to put him into a forced recharge. Sunspot’s body slowly stoped fight and was left unconscious. The twins left as they enter closing the door and leaving us alone once again.

Why was the former seeker back? 

Ratchet’s P.O.V

After I promptly kicked Kup out of my hospital, the nerve of him stealing my pasint. How the frag did he even find the recovery room, honestly I’ve relocated it about half a dozen times.

I’ll ask Soundwave to beef up security, he’ll have some fun with that. 

I needed to grab Jazz, not only to reunite him with... Uh... damnit, Closelens that it. 

But also need to go easy on him, maybe not expect the worst out of him

It’s just...

I know it was the past but when you get to be my age you see a lot of grate people rise and fall. Unfortunately with the war gone, no one seems to want to do anything but fall. But I am pleasantly surprised to see He was doing a lot better then most of the other masters that took a Con ‘for fun’.

It made me sick, how much of a game they treated this. Kup especially, he didn’t like how Sunspot stairs at people. So he had the poor kid put here to get them removed. 

After he was sent here for having his wings removed I’d had Prowl looked into finding a legal way to stop him. But none so far...

But I felt used, how dare he use me like this. I didn’t real know Kup but... to say I expect more was a understatement.

I’m a doctor, these servos were meant to heal the sick and injured. I’ve saved countless lives, millions! Yes I’m not going to pretend I didn’t fight when needed and I know yell a lot. I throw thing, I brake thing, I NEVER filter my real thoughts, I’m stubborn but... if I wasn’t I’d be... a push over.

Am I?

No I kicked that expired tin can out of my domain. I have alway told Jazz what I think. Yes I’m more emotional but when you see as many sparks cry out in pain as I have it eats at ya. Drift gets that. He always has.

The hardest thing to do is to forgive ourselves for our own failure. 

You can’t save everyone, that’s the first thing I teach my students. Because if you let your mistakes consume you. Then who can you expect to save...

Drift almost made that mistake, going on foolhardy missions that he secretly hope would get himself killed. That if he died a hero maybe his Primus would forgive him for everything he did as a Con. 

Running from his past kept him jogging in place until he except that he couldn’t undo the past only resolve to make a better future.

Jazz has the right idea.

That’s what I’d like to do.

I just want to heal people, but what good am I if they just get broken again. Arguably that makes me a worse doctor then Pharma...

I’m not sending Mechs back on the field into the line of fire. I’m just tossing them into the smelting pit.

Kup thinks he can fool me with the clean paint job that he isn’t fraging that seeker. Maybe not like Springers but that didn’t make it any better. It was just another evil, highly doubting the yellow mech had the mind left to resist. 

What was next, his voice, his hearing why stop there why not take the spark! 

The way they look at me, the fear in there optics. I do my best to soothe it all away is because nobody should fear a doctor. all the Cons in my care only see basic respect and pity yet they treat me like a god. Like they weren’t expecting me -a doctor- to take care of them.

Drift pointed some out to me. The look of aww should inspire me. That if they saw me as someone of comfort I was doing my job right, I was a hero. And said I did that for him every day...

I smiled at his cheesiness, I’m lucky to have him.

I saw Jazz sitting back in a chair with his visors normal blue light turned off, that meant he was asleep. I walked over and gave him a light pat.

“Jazz.” I said making him stir slightly before looking up at me.

“Is the baby mine doctor?” He joked with a tired light in his visor. I didn’t find earth humour amusing.

“Shut up,” I said flatly as he stood up. Then it hit me, was... was Jazz here the hole time?

“So what’s the story Ratch?” He asked

“He’s fine, thankfully the new chest had healed enough to open. so I didn’t need to brake it again. But his spark looked healthy, though it has a greenish colour from all the medical grade you’ve been force feeding him. The fake bond codes were a bit difficult seeing as it was his first time. It started download into his basic CNA. After some rooting around I got all out. Now there’s a slight chance that I didn’t get all of it, so if you see any your issues bring him back,” I explained. Jazz was still dopey as he brushed his hand under his visor to rub his optics.

It would be a good change of pace for once to see him without the damn thing

“Thanks I’ll keep that in mind, is it okay if I go see him,” Jazz asked politely.

“Be my guest,” I said watching him disappear behind the doors.

The it hit me, I knew how people crept finding the room there slave’s were in. I don’t think I ever face palmed so hard.

Rumble and Frenzy approached.

“What’s the mater Med boss?” They asked.

I forgot the collar had trackers on them. I felt like a complete idiot...

Closelens’s P.O.V

I played with my wrappers in my hand, twisting them and looking throw the shimmering clear plastic. At both ends there was tiny white lines that bent along the plastics imperfections.

Astrotrain was fast asleep and the yellow demented seeker was more gone then it normally would be. Lost to the sweet isolation of sleep.

But I was to tired to sleep, it’s all I’ve done for the past few days. I want to move I wanted to do something. I was so sick of being sick. I needed something to happen.

I wanted to hug Jazz, thank him again for not being overly cruel. I’ll play his games forever if I had too.

Suddenly I heard the door open.

 

 

It wasn’t Jazz,

 

It wasn’t Ratchet,

 

And it wasn’t the twins.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was Springer...


	34. Ch 34: ICU Brawl

Ch 34

ICU Brawl

Oh Primus oh Primus oh Primus-

I looked into the same blue optics, the same green mech with the same spark who violated me.

I didn’t stop myself this time, I was looking into a hole new void. Unlike Sunspot’s these where ware scrams lived and I would only add to it. I screamed as loud as it could, vibrating against the walls and ceiling. I felt every pond of my spark that banged against my chest promptly covering it with my hand. I felt it in my adios and felt it’s claws in my mind.

I panicked as nothing stoped me from doing so.

His first step with a smile had me screaming into my Commlink for Jazz to run and find me, NOW!

“Oh come on don’t bother, I already had my fill of you. Unless you want a repeat visit?” He slowly walked closer.

Primus no I just erupted into a sobbing fit. I grabbed all of the blankets and got off the berth. I charged to a corner pressed my hole body as close as I could to the wall. I Couldn’t be in a berth at the moment. It wasn’t safe, I wasn’t safe.

I slumped to the floor and sobbed into a the pile of blankets. 

I watched a smile creep across his face but he slowly moved right to me and knelt down so we were face to face. I fought to push myself further into the corner, wishing it to simple myself escape the evil intentions of this monster.

Bu no, I couldn’t stop this mech from doing anything he wished but he didn’t move to touch me.

“Is... is that a yes?” He asked I couldn’t stop shaking my helm no. Primus no... pits no- whatever! Just no.

“Please,“ it was all I was able to say. My trembling frame was at a lost. I didn’t want this, not again. Never again. 

The past merged with the president, something inside me prayed it was just a figment in my mind. But no, I knew it was really. And he wanted to hurt me all over again.

Being trapped, helpless and alone.

Jazz’s P.O.V

After this I was thinking of taking him to Sunstreaker’s place to repaint him. I didn’t want him to think of what happened ever time he looks down at himself. No doubt he’s been traumatized enough.

It’s not fare.

I felt a stab of guilt... I know I promised him a better life. I’d swear I’d be better but I need to tell him what I did in my past, that way he can really chose to stay with me or not. No hidden truth, no lies nothing,

Now the fake bond was severed I could move him past this. 

Even if I did kinda like his needy cuddling, or his insistence on thanking me for not being a complete peace of slag. At least not to him.

I smiled to myself.

He makes me want to be a better mech. Closelens is walking the tight rope keeping himself in check. Like even after me telling him that he was looking for someone to bond with he kept his distance. He suppressed his egress as to not come off as a creep.

That takes some real self discipline, yet he kept off me.

But I kinda wish he didn’t... I mean, I know I won’t do anything with him but... he was so cute. I loved whenever he gets all startled and he makes that tiny squeak sound. Or how he kind like hugs or being carried, little thing like that. 

I could feel it in his field, he wasn’t living in cold fear like before. Frightened still but he’d be crazy if he wasn’t at least a little scared. But no he was...

My hub got a ping suddenly got a ping.

Lens’s Link:

“JAZZ PLEASE, RUN, FIND ME!!!” He is voice cried, echoed in my head. I never freeze up, it’s my job to not. This was no exception ether. I ran as fast as my pleds could go, stoping short of actively shoving people out of the way. 

He sounded scared.

This wasn’t a nervous plea for attention like before. And if my Closelens is in trouble, I wouldn’t fail him again.

I followed my Hub’s collar tracking controls to the recovery room and barged throw the doors with all my momentum I had carried, never slowly once. Until I came to a halt.

I looked into the far corner where Closelens was cowering form...

And like that, I snapped. 

My Hub updates...

Combat mode on line.

Closelens’s P.O.V

The door had barged open with enough force to crack the wall it slammed into. There in the doorway was my Jazz.

...

My Jazz?-

“Springers, get away from him now...” Jazz said in a tone that in any other moment would have been the caws of a visceral reaction. No, I was to happy for his intimidating presence. Jazz actually came to save me. 

Springer stood up and I ran past him to hug as tightly as I could. This time my quaking frame sobbed in relief. The fact I dived into him despite his white hot in raged field. I was soooo happy, he came to save me. 

I was completely safe from harm.

But Springer.

Oh Springer was in trouble now...

I couldn’t help think with a smile, I had possibly one of the most deadliest mechs in the Autobot army at my side. One we Cons talked about to scare one another like camp fire story’s. Our boogiemech.

My boogiemech.

I didn’t care he wasn’t giving me his attention, his glare on that other monster was better. I want Springer to hurt, I want Jazz to hurt him like he would in the story’s. For me and Astrotrain to feel a semblance of revenge. Justice... 

No, this was spite... but I didn’t care.

“I think it’s about time I taught you a lesson in manners...” Jazz said not braking eye contact with the wrecker and brushed me away. Jazz marched on over to Springer with nothing but hate in his field. The green mech towered over him but it didn’t seem to bother Jazz in the slightest.

Springer smiled bracing himself pulling out his Sword from his back.

Jazz servo was replaced with a grapple hook. Odd choice but if anyone could find a way to make it painful, Jazz could.

Springer lunged at Jazz with a battle cry. I saw a big evil smile slide across my masters face plate shooting just in between Springer’s legs mid jump and pulled him frame forward tripping Springer mid jump. With a thud the blade missed and Springer landed face first with a loud thud. 

The crash woke up Astrotrain making the big guy cry. 

I was about to run to him when I discovered I had a big smile on my face, I cleared it off to run to the big grey and purple mech.

He looked up at me scared, I just gently petted him telling him it was alright.

Jazz was firmly behind him but Springer throw his body back up with a tuck and roll with his sword read and already in full swing. Jazz dodged with such grace, every swipe every lunge. Jazz’s footing moved with purpose. Like a rehearsed dance, he knew Springers movement.

“You want to know why you were never cut out for special ops?” Jazz said sliding behind Springers heavy steps and took a smart strike to his back. Jazz hit him hard in the shoulder joint and elbowed him in the side. He moved like lightning’s using his small size to his advantage keeping behind him.

The wrecker made no shout and in a sharp movement he slashed the sword horizontally but Jazz had back flipped without it even grazing his mid section.

“Your were alway to big,” he said punching the green mech in the jaw, hard. His dental cracked making him shout in pain throwing his helm back. 

But suddenly skull bashed Jazz with all his weight. Jazz was sent straight into the ground visor shattered to peace’s from the massive hard hit. 

I gasped covering my mouth in shock.

Springer backed off, leaning on the wall behind him. He needed a moment to recover, Energon dripping down this face. He glanced back over to me making me cringe but swiftly back to Jazz.

“And Jazz, you were just small enough to let the world brake you,” Springer said venting heavily. “Me, I never stopped fighting.”

Jazz’s optics opened, a solid...

Glowing red. 

What?

Springer didn’t react to it.

“You deserve con eyes,” 

Jazz squinted touching his face for his visor only to be horrified that he didn’t have it. He stood himself back up shaken but that nasty blow. Before getting his equilibrium balance he glared at the green mech looking over at me, there was worry in Jazz’s optics...

“Not a word, not a damn word you hear!” Jazz hissed, he didn’t know... my chest tightened slightly and I felt sick and I prayed he wouldn’t say it... please don’t say it.

“Oh,“ Springer looked at me and him smugly “heh, What, didn’t he tell you? Your slave knows what you did, I told him everything...”

Jazz didn’t stop himself he shot the grapple to the ceiling and hosted himself in the air and shot Springer with a powerful kick. 

Springer took this as a opportunity.

He grabbed Jazz and slammed him into the ground with the wreckers full waite to keep my master pinned. Jazz chopped just between his shoulder and neck cables making Springer shot up with pain.

He used the grapple behind him, blowing past me. And using it to pull himself out from under Springer. He landed on his feet giving me a brief glance.

I could see his optics... I could see the emotions and madness. And the look said ominously 

“we’ll discuss this later” 

There was real pain in them, I could feel a wave of guilt and fear consume him. But he brushed it off as he moved towards Springer.

“What right did you have? He is mine, not your, not the counsels not the senate, mine,” Jazz growled. 

Springer was on his knees when he slashed again hitting Jazz in the chest. He cried out in pain and stumbled back. The green busted mech wasting not time getting to his pleds to try again.

I needed to stop this, I saw the emergency buzzer on Astrotrain’s berth. This would alert the staff of a problem and hopefully someone could help stop this. 

It made no nose but someone would show up soon.

I want Springer to bleed for this but I don’t want Jazz hurting himself in the proses.

Jazz continue to dodge but with much less speed. Jazz used the grapple to fend off what he couldn’t avoid. The hooks attached itself to the weapon, The two were locked together.

Springer kicked Jazz in the chest letting go of the sword. Jazz rolled across the floor but managed to recover himself back on his feet. His chest plating was cracked in its supports another hard blow would make them dangerously shifty.

Jazz discarded the hook and sword to the floor. His stance was still strong but his optics blinked distractedly.

Springer and Jazz were ready to lunge...

Jazz jumped and dropped kick Springers chest so hard the big green mech was brought down, chest shattered in one solid hit. Jazz jumped on top of him resting his knees on the wreckers shoulder joints. Jazz with all his might repeatedly punched Springer over and over and over and never once relenting.

Springer did everything to move but Jazz had all him pinned. Jazz’s fists became bloodied in Energon and still he didn’t stop. Springer had half his faceplate dented and a optic shattered.

The wrecker was forced to plea.

“S-sToP...” he struggled to say but Jazz wasn’t listening. I was paralyzed, I didn’t want to interrupt. This wasn’t cathartic anymore... it was scary...

“Oh what’s that? Say it loud enough so my pet can hear,” Jazz said with a... tariffing chuckle

“P-please stop!” The wrecker cried as Jazz smile got big and wide.

“Funny, I bet my pet ask the same thing. Didn’t he? Tell me Springers...” He cupped the wreckers face. “Did you listen?”

The green mech whimpered.

“Thought so,” Jazz said getting ready to punch him again.

Suddenly a blast of sonic noses reverberated throw the room and in my helm. It made me feel sick, colours distorted, the sound immediately disengage bace setting making the three of us collapsed to our knees.

The sound was horribly loud and so powerful it was glitching my basic hub controls.

And like that the sound cut off. 

My adios we’re still ringing when Suddenly Soundwave and Ratchet charged through the door. If flinched back Soundwave grabbed Springer holding him back. Ratchet pulled Jazz off and had him pinned as well. But I wasn’t over Jazz fought to get out of The doctors hold but it was no good.

I don’t even know how they still had the straight to fight I could barely stand back up again.

“Enough both of you!” The old medic shouted. To me he still sounded muffled but the effects quickly faded.

Springer kicked slightly fighting but still crying. Soundwave’s size kept the wrecker on the ground.

“Springer: Prowl will be commed If you continued to resist,” Soundwave said coldly. The two got a grip on themselves and were released. The wrecker forced himself up, turned his back retrieving his sword and Jazz was let up by Ratchet. 

He put away his grapple, he still blinked more rapidly then most... his field was still primed to fight. His vents still running high. I slowly made my way back to his side in hopes to calm him down. 

As frightened as I was of Jazz, he still might need me.

I gently went to hold his had.

Soundwave was tending to Springers, ordering him to open his mouth to see some of the damage.

Ratchet stomped over and grabbed Jazz, blood lust in his optics making me flinch back. 

“You two, Follow me. Now...” the tone sent chills down my frame, and the look of the medic was dead serious... My clutch on Jazz tightened. 

His frame was more calm but he was also frightened. 

We were in trouble.

We followed Ratchet down the hall without resistance. I couldn’t help feel Jazz tightened his grip on my servo, I looked up at him and his ruby optics looked down on me thoughtfully.

“You alright,” It was so unreal. His was always a very handsome mech before but... he had such gentle optics, they were beautiful. But what was he asking? 

If I was ok? I couldn’t help but get a little emotional. I was fine physically but... Springer had taken something from me, something I’d never get back. My spark, it still hurt. I don’t know if it will ever heal the way I want it to But Jazz came to protect me. Jazz was there this time and here I was safe. 

A overwhelming sense of gratitude overwhelmed me. I was safe and Springer was the one who needed medical care. Jazz kept his promise and I couldn’t be more relieved.

“Yes, Thank you! Thank you so much,” I said full meaning it with a side hug. Primus knows what would have happened if he didn’t come to get me or how far he would have gone without the intervention from Ratchet. 

Jazz protected me and I am grateful.


	35. Ch 35: Please listen this time.

Ch 35

Please listen this time.

Closelens’s P.O.V

Ratchet took us in a more private check up room making sure to slam the door as hard as possible to make us both flinch. He then stomped off to his tools inspecting them aggressively. Jazz reached out slightly with his field.

“Ratchet-“

“Shut It Jazz, get on the berth,” The medic said sharply. Jazz had a devious look in his optics. 

Primus he looked so... wired with out his visor.

“Oh, Shouldn’t you take me out to dinner first?” Jazz said. I didn’t real understand but a sharp glare from Ratchet had Jazz zip it and toss himself onto the berth when he suddenly clutched his side hissing in pain. 

I flew to his side.

“Jazz?” I said worried.

“He’ll live,” Ratchet said grabbing a welder. I stepped aside to let the doctor do his work.

It was amazing how fast his hands could move, precision and dexterity was something I wish I had back when I was doing science. 

But I wasn’t happy with how angry Ratchet is. Jazz saved me, I wanted to tell him what happened but I dare not interrupt a master at work. 

Simply humbled to observe.

Jazz’s plating was back to gather in no time leaving me speechless. It was like when Sunstreaker painted me, but this was... different.

I noticed Jazz rubbed he optics more often then not. The colour was still odd. Autobot normally had blue filters on them. Sure I saw mechs like Fortress Maximus, another Autobot with Red optics but I understand that for intimidation. It’s why Deceptions wanted there troops or otherwise to have it, to strike fear and what not.

But Jazz went out of the way to have a blue visor. It made no sense?

“Uh- Closelens, mind turning down the lights slightly,” Ratchet turned to me politely.

“Yes sir,” I said going to the light switch’s and Turing them down to 45%.

“Thanks,” Jazz said as I sliding over and tapping beside him. “My optics are sensitive.” He expected clearly wanting to sit together, I didn’t hesitate to pull myself next to him. I gave Jazz a brief once over to make sure Ratchet got everything, and that he did.

Ratchet looked at me.

“Are you hurt at all kid?” He asked. I shook my head. “Good, now I can yell at you!” He pointed over at Jazz. “What the Frag were you thinking?”

“He was going to hurt Closelens, what was I supposed do!”

“Have a fist fight and punch him to death, of corse, why didn’t I think of that,” Ratchet said sarcastically. Then he let out a sighed “Listen, I’m not saying he didn’t deserve the beat down you gave him. But once Closelens was out of harms way you should call up literally any of the trained medic professional to deal with him. Your lucky he hit the emergency button before you got locked up for murder.”

“Yeah well- how did you know it was Closelens?” He asked.

“Because the moment someone presses it, the staff get the live feed of whatever is going on in the room it was pushed. The whole staff knows about the fight,” Ratchet said. “Speaking of, I need to go see the damage you did to Springer, Firstaid should be here shortly.”

Ratchet moved to leave when he looked over at Jazz.

“Don’t tell anyone I said this but... I’m proud of you,” Ratchet said disappearing behind the door leaving me and Jazz all alone.

That was sweet of Ratchet, wile I do think Jazz went a little overboard, I was proud too. I looked over at him as he rubbed his optics again. 

“Do you want me to turn down lights more?” I asked worried the light was still bothering him. Jazz looked over at me shacking his helm. 

“Im I’m fine,” He said played with his knuckles. They were still covered in Springers Energon, I shifted closer.

I wanted to talk about what Springer said... we need to have this conversation now...

“J-Jazz, I wanted to tell you-“ I started but he interrupted.

“We’ll discuss this at home, am I clear?” Jazz said coldly, he made no eye contact, choosing to keep looking forward.

“Please-“

“Am I clear?” He shot a glare down at me making me flinch.

“Yes sir,” I said dropping it before he got upset.

A long silent moment extended painfully long. 

“Did you know?” Jazz asked simply, it took another moment to answer.

“Yes,” I said nervously.

“Why, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked trying to sound cold but he could mask all the emotions he felt. He sounded... so hurt.

I looked up at him tearfully.

No, this mech just saved me. He shouldn’t feel bad, least of all from me. 

“I... I was scared...” I said honestly, “for both of us...”

Jazz’s P.O.V

I wasn’t ready, it didn’t want him to know... this was going to be my chance at a fresh start. Sure I’d play with him but he would never up in any real danger. That was the plan...

Now he knows I was some horrible monster. 

Now it all made sense... why he was so thankful.

I wasn’t the monster I used to be. He knows how far I’ve come.

It’s also why he backed off so hard after he found out why he was so clingy. Was it out of fear, that I’d take advantage of him.

My spark sank like a rock in water, the last few days suddenly had to be looked at with retrospect. I needed to study his actions all over again. But from memory he didn’t seem more frightened then...

How many panic covered his fear of me? Was I mistaking his fear of me... for Springer.

Primus...

“Closelens, are you scared I’d hurt you like I did my prisoners?” I needed answers. I couldn’t do my normal analysis with the Springer factor in mind. I needed to hear it straight...

“A-a little... at first but I figured. If you really wanted to hurt me, what would have stoped you?” Closelens said looking up at me. “You’re soooo strong a-and fast.” 

“It would have be easy.” 

I looked in his optics for a trace of a lie but there was nothing like that. He was still afraid, but he was wrong.

“No, it wouldn’t,” I answer honestly. It would probably be the hardest thing since mercy killing Mirage. It broke my spark to think about... Violating Closelens... his cries for help, his frame struggling against mine... optics starting up at me, crying...

I felt myself heat up at the thought...

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no-

Never... I’d never hurt another person like that again.

“That’s not what I-“ Closelens tried to say but I wasn’t interested in hearing it.

“I know...” I simply said. 

A moment past before I saw Closelens closed his optics and gently leaned against me making sure he didn’t use his weight. Making sure not to aggravate my wounds.

“You’re all I have, and I didn’t mean to hurt you. Not with Springer and not by keeping secrets, I’m so sorry Jazz,” He said softly. 

And Holy scrap that was sweet. My spark pinged with gratitude...  
It’s true, I wasn’t ready to talk about this but I’m glad the ball was rolling. I... I really believe he didn’t mean to make it hurt as much as it did.

He was going throw a lot. I can’t imagine how living with a... rapist, was affecting him on top of everything. 

My poor sweet little Closelens.

“It ok, we have a lot to talk about... ya know...” I said 

“Hey, do... do you mind if I ask a out of no ware, stupid question?” He asked 

“I’d love a stupid question,” I said with a nod

“Why do you have red optics?” He continue.

I smiled, I liked this question. Nothing traumatizing about it at all.

“UV rays and blue bight bothers my optics, the red filters help me with that,” I said, I was born with optic deformities. The visor helps me see better, otherwise my optics don’t have the right focus.”

Like high tech glasses.

“So you went a Con?”

“No and yes” Jazz said “When it was just a concept, absolutely. But once old Megs started talking about kill innocent organic, I was out. I went back with Orion and never even thought for a moment about turning back.”

Every living creature had its own style to share and story to tell, what right did we have to tell the rest of the universe we were better. It was just something I couldn’t look past, I couldn’t tolerate.

“Would you have stayed a Decepticon if we didn’t want to kill organics?” Closelens asked 

...

I’d probably asked myself about that a thousand times. The closest thing I came to conclusion was the fact that they would have wanted to subjugate the rest of the universe regardless. I would have changed to the Autobot side eventually.

‘Sides, OP wouldn’t have let me fall into the bad crowd that easily.

“I don’t think so Pet, all I know is that if I was... you guys would have totally have won this war,” I joked giving him a wink. Closelens just chuckled cutely.

“Heh, I’d believe that,” he said “I seeing it now, you as second in command after Starscream ‘mysteriously’ disappeared,” he added quotations with his digits making me laugh.

“Yep, they’d never suspected a thing,” I added with a evil smile making Closelens laugh more.

“All part of your master plan to take over the Decepticons.”

“Gross, don’t make me sound like him,” I pushed him slightly 

“What would you do?” He asked.

“It would be part of my plan to save the world from the spawn of Unicron himself... Rumble and Frenzy,” I said, truly I’d be hero to all.

Closelens just laughed really hard.

Oh it was refreshing to see him like this, like when we were at the rooftop.

He was so pure...

Primus... I was happy...

He makes me happy.

I don’t deserve him, but I want this more then anything. I was guilty of some real horrible stuff that I can possibly atone for. But... this was a start, I could feel the semblance of closure.

A promise is a promise, Closelens will be free no matter what it takes. Even if I have to fight a million Springers.

It would be worth it.

He deserved to be happy.

Tomorrow, I think we need a day to ourselves. I’ve wanted to go to the race track, I miss my beautiful Altmode and I’m sure Closelens wouldn’t mind having the apartment all to himself, or who knows maybe he would want to tag along... 

Who know, I could happen.


	36. Ch 36: A Good Day

Ch 36

A good day

After a long and exhausting day at the hospital we got home to clean up and I needed got my spare visor then headed to Sunstreaker’s to get some fresh paint, The both of us. We fuelled up and practically fell into recharge at the couch together. 

What a day...

Closelens had tucked himself against my chest, he was really tired so I don’t think he noticed. I wanted to give him the space to recover but if he wants to be close I’d give him anything he needs. I’d try and keep my arms to myself, I don’t want him to get spooked and pull away. 

I was exhausted too, I practically crashed into recharge.

It was Probably the easiest sleep I ever had...

When I online when I felt Closelens was still with me, I didn’t want to wake him up... he probably hasn’t had a hard recharge like this for a while, he had been relegated to naps because of his nightmares. 

His face plate was peaceful... engine purring softly and his vented slowly.

Primus he was beautiful, Sunstreaker’s did a Great job,Yes it was the same colour but Closelens wore it well. This time he’d actually get a chance to enjoy it. The sparkling paint, while unorthodox for a Microscopic looked really good. Very showoffish without coming off as tacky. he was just attractive.

My temperature rose slightly at a random thought.

I wonder if he found me attractive?

I gave my frame and new paint a once over sudden feeling a little self conscious.

It was a innocent question that was all and nothing more, just curious.

Whatever.

I looked out the window wall to see the sun was rising over Iacon, making it about 6:00ish. While early, I was eager to get to the track. It wasn’t anything special, it was just a place to let your t-cog spin and go in laps as fast as you want. Sometimes it will get rented out for real races but it was public today.

I felt him move more, starting to wake up. He probably felt in my field. 

I froze when He hugged my chest and opened his optics. 

Nawww my god he’s soooooo fraging cute!

I yelled at myself to cool down, don’t make it weird and put on my confident master face.

“Morning Pet,” I said softly. Making extra sure to not have my hands on him.

I sat up to give him more room.

“Morning Jazz,” he said rubbing his optics and stretching his joints.

The morning preceded as usual but this time I payed close attention to how he acted while I hand feed him. No issues no strain in his field. I even did the helm stroking thing and called him a good mech. but no frightened or stressful reaction he kept quiet. It was all very normal to him. My training was working...

He wasn’t afraid.

That was good. No pet should be afraid of there owner. This little mech didn’t deserve to be in any more distress.

Something inside me called me a liar, Closelens would turn into a cowering frightened mess of apologies at my pleds if I raised voice. 

But isn’t that what I wanted? This perfect blend of delicious horror and need.

Right?

“Hey Closelens, I wanted to ask you something,” I asked getting my mind out of my head. He blinked up at me. “I’m going to the racetrack today, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.”

“Yes Jazz,” he said

“You can stay home, I can’t imagine how bored you might get-“

“No, I’ll go. I... I don’t want to be too far away from you or... alone in the house,” Closelens explained best he could, clearly having issues. I gave him a thoughtful look and smile...

I’m not going to push him, but I don’t want him to be scared of his own home. I gave him a helping hand off the floor.

“You Don’t have to worry. The locks on the doors are simple and you have access to them, remember? If you ever got scared you could hide with Ironhide, he’d protect you. Here, I’ll send you the code again in case you forgot.”

I did texting Closelens the code.

Lens: 

5942

I never wanted him to be without it just incase I felt I’d hurt him. Springer was a push over compared too Ironhide. He could and has kicked my sparkly aft no problem. 

Closelens still had a fearful look. Likely of Ironhide, which I could see... He was big and strong and sometimes forgot his own strength.

“Oh, you shouldn’t be scared of ‘Hide. He wouldn’t ever hurt a little mech like you,” I said but he rushed me with a hug. “

“Please, please don’t leave me.”

My spark shattered into splinters, he was so quiet. My servos wrapped around him gently, he flinched slightly from the touch but nothing further.

“It’s ok, you can come I won’t force you to stay... But we will hang out more with ‘Hide so you can get used to him. I don’t want you to be afraid.”

Closelens P.O.V

That was fine... I’d hang out with Prime so long as Jazz was there. I just... I don’t know if Autobot Ironhide has the pin to get in here. I... I’d likely just die on the spot if I saw him in the house.

The only thing keeping me from freaking out last time was my fear of Jazz punishing me.

Even if he did seem nice. Even if I was wrong about others like Ratchet, I couldn’t let my guard down.

Never again.

“Thank you,” I was luck Jazz gets it. I nuzzled his chest slightly to show my affection. Jazz was very kind.

 

Jazz got fuelled up and we headed out. It was a long walk, the entertainment district was ways away but Jazz’s engine were humming with excitement the closer we got. He was trying to play it cool but he couldn’t help it. 

It was kinda sweet. I felt him smile down at me a few times. No doubt noticing I wasn’t velcroed onto him. Sure we held hands but I... I didn’t really feel like... I didn’t know- being scared of the world today.

It was a bit of a walk until we finally got there, the track looked to be just about new with the smoothies track I’d ever seen. There were two separate grand stands. Jazz eagerly showed me to the one for Slaves. We were locked in and guarded. Other then that they were regular stands.

“Ok, I’m going to drop you off here. You have my comm on at all times so if you need to talk to me for any reason, don’t hesitate too ask,” Jazz said making sure I understood. I just nodded telling him to go have fun.

It wasn’t as intimidating as I thought it would. There was hardly any crowd. It was loud with conversations from a few small groups of 3-7. Likely friends meaning up again. 

I recognized a few faces in here including seeing... that Slave that was learning to paint at Sunstreaker’s. He looked like he was freaking out, someone else was hugging him. A hot pinkish purple mech keeping his scared friends face hidden petting his back. He was with a small blue femme. 

I got closer.

“Shhh, it ok ya big lug. Their not gonna hurt you...” I heard the blue femme said gently. The other supportive mech looked over at me. 

I was trying to remember his name... Spinister I think.

“I want to kill him, I hate him...” a deep booming voice sobbed. I made sure to sit far enough away as to not disturb them. 

“I know,” his friend said.

“He makes me paint... And beats me up if I don’t listen,” The large mech said like a sparkling.

“Sideswiped doesn’t stop him?” The small boxy blue femme asked. Spinister shook his helm.

“He only hits me when He’s gone or I won’t paint strangers,” he said. The pinkish mech offerings a Energon chip from a small bag of goodies. Spinister expected, removing his battle mask to eat one. 

The big mech seemed so harmless, heck in Sunstreaker workshop he seemed scared of me for crying out loud. It was sick what Autobot were aloud to do to us. 

Well at least he seemed to have some good friends looking out for him. That must be nice...

I have Jazz but I-I don’t know if I’d consider him to be a friend or not, it was kinda... complicated. I was still just a piece of property, a slave... but...

I clutched my chest with shaky hands. I was still afraid... 

Even if he wasn’t rape me he still probably had that horrible flog in his subspace. If I ever told him ‘no’ he’d hit me with it 10 times. That-

I vented.

That was something I never wanted to go through again.

To get out of my mind, my optics darted to the track.

I just watched for Jazz.

I hadn’t seen his Altmode and I won’t lie i’ve been really look in forward to it. Jazz was a very good looking mech no doubt about it... I bet he had a beautiful Altmode.

It was a innocent thought that was all and nothing more, just curious.

Whatever.

I brushed it off feeling myself flush slightly.

That’s when I found him! He was....

Damnit, even his Altmode was pretty as he was scary. He was small but sleek, forged for speed. Jazz was so beautiful. Primus the new paint made him stand out like nothing else.

I could tell by the way he was driving Jazz was having fun and I couldn’t help but smile.

Jazz took care of me, I still should be Grateful. Maybe he... maybe I mean more to him then I think... Jazz was scary, no doubt there, but he... likes me. As in he enjoyed my company. 

I guess I kinda liked him too.

It’s still surreal to think about. At least with that perspective...

Autobot Jazz, liked me...

Suddenly the guards opened the door to the bleachers and throw in some. He was a blue seeker. I was surprised I recognized him... Thundercracker, one of Starscream’s brothers.

He had on as blank expression, no emotion, no field nothing. 

I continue to watching him find a seat all by himself. I blinked a few time kinda surprised he became a slave. Last time I had heard he had gone neutral on earth. Got into some sort of movie writing Job. 

I wish I saw who his master was, maybe a rival or something. I decided to not go snooping. I looked back at the track to see Jazz with a red mech closing in on him.

Jazz’s P.O.V

Yay!!!

It was hard too lie but Primus I needed this. The track was just perfect and felt good against my tires. And just... going fast for the sake of going fast was a thrill all to itself. The lack of people here was awesome, it only meant I didn’t have to share a much. 

I didn’t miss my earth mode, the humans were Great at making some sexy cars but my Cybertronian felt more... home like. 

I tried to just forget everything and just enjoy the motion of the track bend to a slight curve so turning could’t be more comfortable.

I heard a horn beep behind me makings me slow slightly as Sideswipe could get beside me.

“Hay Jazz! Good too see you out here!” He said in a chipper voice.

“Hey Sides, should have expected ya,” I said. 

“Yep, though I will say it’s nice to see some real competition on my track,” Sideswipe challenged.

“Oh, you’re track is it? We’ll see about that now won’t we...” I said speeding things up.

I really liked Sideswipe. He was a good kid, if not a little trouble maker. Like his brother, I’m glad they stuck together. Sunstreaker kept Side from losing it.

Damn he was really giving it... alright no more mister nice guy.

I blew past him in a rush, him struggling to keep up.

Closelens’s P.O.V

I sat quietly listening to Mech and femme talk to Spinister, I discovered there names being Misfire and Nickel. Spinister panicked every time someone new showed up. I noticed the more it happened the more angry Thundercracker, in front of them- got.

“It’s ok big guy, your fine,” Misfire said petting him... Nickel was there for support as well.

“People are staring at me,” Spinister said.

“No th-“

“Primus, shut him up!” Thundercracker shouted standing up, “Or I’ll do it myself.”

Misfire just ignored the seeker and turned aback to the sad Deception. “Sorry, he’s just being big and stupid,” He whispered to Spinister. But it was plenty loud enough for everyone too hear. 

I saw the look in the seekers optics glow... he wanted a fight.

He didn’t even say anything else he just rushed Misfire tackling the him into the empty rows behind him. Spinister started to freak out and wasn’t sure what to do. Nickel couldn’t do anything so she did her best to talk to him. 

Suddenly I was now close enough to get involved in the fight. The seeker randomly lunged at me He smacked me away making me fall down two rows falling hard on my back.

I yelped in pain but it wasn’t too bad. I slowly got up and just got back. I didn’t understand, what did I do?

Thundercracker meanwhile was smashing Misfire into the seats over and over. 

Misfire kicked him in the torso having the blue jet topple backwards down 2 rows just like me. I smirked a little, Karma.

Everyone else just watched as the two throttle each other, and were cheering. Not for anyone in particular, just for them to continue fighting.

I noticed the back of Misfire’s wings...

They had markings on them, no more like brands. 

likely from his master.

It said a whole slew of things like-

I Will not disobey  
I Will not hit  
I Will not shout  
I Will not run  
I Will not fight  
I Will not hide

And others...

I got chills. Everyone knew flyers had sensitive wings so to burn them like that must have been painful.

On the other hand Thundercracker had beautiful paint and a beautifully waxed... he looked about as pampered as I did.

I watched the two hit etch other around. Misfire spit out some Energon in the seekers face making him throw his head back wiping his face plate before going at him again.

I just felt sad watching it as 4 guards barged in grabbing the two like wild mechanicals and forced them to back off and taking them away.

“He started it!” Misfire yelled as Prowl barged in making me jump. He glared down at me... cold blue optics. And pushed me out of the way.

“Move.” 

I squeaked slightly, feeling my spark pound in my chest.

I knew Prowl had worked with Jazz and thus had a reputation... 

The black and white enforcer approached the pinned down Misfire. The innocent con looked up at the mech letting off a field of fear. Prowl didn’t say anything but just put on stasis cuffs on the pinkish purple Con. My tank turned, it was discussing how much they have demechanized us... we were mechanimals...

“H-HEY!” Misfire shouted. 

Thundercracker went with the other guards quietly. He had back on the cold expression like before...

He wasn’t upset with Spinister, he just looking for a fight! why? Why would you hurt a fellow Con in a time like this. 

Sure, normal cons have a sense of toxic masculinity but now of all times?

I heard a collar charger before Misfire cried out in pain. After a moment of trying to get away, He stopped struggling and just stayed quiet.

How? Only a Master had the power to shock a slave!

“We’ll discuss this when we get home...” Prowl growled before pulling him up to walking him out of there. 

That explained it...

I wish I could help him. 

Spinister looked around confused and upset, but that’s when I noticed him glaring at Prowl. As he pulled Misfire along. Spinister looked ready to charge the black and white mech...

My spark stopped. Sweet Solus Prime, Don’t!

Thankfully Nickel noticed and grabbed his hand desperately.

“No,” she whispered.

Primus, please listen to her and just don’t... Prowl didn’t seem have the same sort of playful nature Jazz dose, Prowl might kill him. 

Spinister gave her a thoughtful look before sitting back down with a sad expression. She got closer and patted his back. He just covered up his face.

“It’s okay,” Nickel said “Your okay...”

Jazz’s P.O.V

I was impressed Sideswipe kept up as long as he did before he gave up. He offered me a Energon brake and we got off the track. There was a brake pit areas around the edge where we could hang out in the shade.

Side pulling two cubes out of sub space. He presented it with a joking low bow making me chuckle before taking it from the red mech.

“Well at least you know you’re place,” I said spitting down taking a sip. Sideswipe plopped next to me. 

“Yeah well, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”

“What, you weren’t there when I tried killing Springer,” I said remembering him at my party.

“No I mean outside your fancy apartment,” He said putting his arms above his helm and leaning back.

“Yeah, I really like my pet,” I hummed. I knew that was a lie even after the war I became a bit of a hermit. I... not a whole lot of people knew about... what I did. Those who do aren’t allowed to talk about it outside of those involved. 

I... I didn’t have a lot of friends left. 

I couldn’t blame them...

“He was the one who answered the door at the party right?” He said and I just nodded. “Its Good you like you’re Con, I really like Spinister, he’s so sweet.”

“It’s good that you’re taking care of him,” I said. 

“Sunstreaker doesn’t really have the pashints for him,” Sides said. “The big guy needs me, and it’s nice too be needed, heh, not like I’m good for much else these days...” 

I gave him a thoughtful look as he looked over at the track. His field gave off a ping of pain.

It was hard watching mechs like Sideswipe who were created during war time. The war was all they ever knew. Sunstreaker had the advantage of having other hobbies like his art but Side had nothing...

Before I could say something he sat up and looked intensely on the other side of the track.

“I spy a Skyfire” He said. I sat up confused and tried to spot the space shuttle. Yeah, he was near the bleachers... I was shocked to see him here of all places. He could fly whenever he wanted.

“Wanna go say hi?” I asked looking up to the red speedster. He eagerly nodded and got up, we quickly finished up our cubes and got back on the race track and looped around to the other side. By the time we got there he was getting closer to the Slaves’s bleachers. 

“Skyfire!” ‘Sides said running up to the big shuttle. I just walked after him. Skyfire looked over with a smile.

“Hi guys!” He said getting lower to talk to us.

“Hey Sky, fancy meeting you here,” I said crossing my arms and shifting my Waite to one side casually.

“Indeed, I like watching the races but I got my days all mixed up,” He said “But I already promised my con that I’d take him today to socialize. It’s very important to his health.” 

I couldn’t help but smile, Skyfire was the textbook definition of a gentle giant. I was trying to remember who his slave was again... all I remember was that he had grabbed him off death row.

I’d been a while since I’d seen him, most of the science division were all cooped up, more then me. Sometimes you could feel the ground tremble from a failed Whealjack test. You could tell they were having fun inventing things and doing science.

I wanted to pay them a visit, Preceptor in particular. Closelens could talk too him and maybe get the ego boost he needs. A Cybertronian shouldn’t hate their Altmode. I was going too ask him after the meeting with Prime. Whenever that is...

“So what were you doing?” ‘Side asked

“I was just trying to find a place too read my data pad,” he said sweetly. “Oh, But don’t let that stop you if you’re here to drive.” 

Side waved his hand. 

“Meh, been their done that. Actually I was wondering if you completely the thing I asked for,” He said in a hushed tone. 

I cocked my head slightly.

“For the last time, I’m not building you a jet pack,” Skyfire rolled his optics.

“BOO,” Sides protested.

I saw Skyfire’s face changed as his comm went off. “Hold on a second,” He said answering. “This is Skyfire,” I watched his expression turn to worry. He kinda reminded me of Closelens, they both were very expressive.

“What’s wrong?” Sides asked

“I-lt’s my Con, a fight broke out on the bleachers. I gotta go!” Skyfire said in a bit of a panic.

My vents stoped for a moment. 

Was Closelens ok? 

No the guards would have contacted me or at the very least he would have.

I just nodded, “let’s go,”

We got there to see the guards holding onto two of the Slaves, Prowl yelling at his. On the other hand Thundercracker stood there quietly shooting everyone with a death glare...

“Thundercracker!” Skyfire shouted shaking the ground as he ran over yanking him from the guards and into a big hug then holding him back too look at him. “Are you ok?” 

Thundercracker all the meanwhile had a discussed look.

“Get off,” he hissed bitterly.

I knew why... on earth he had become largely neutral. He’d even help us on occasion... it wasn’t fare that he’d be collared like the rest.

Skyfire ignored him grabbing his hands looking at his fists seeing damaged paint.

“Why must you start fights, you could have gotten hurt,” The shuttle said upset. The worry in his voice didn’t even bother to hide.

Meanwhile Prowl was dragging his Con over ruthlessly. He threw him at Skyfire’s pleads.

“I don’t start it!” The pinkish mech cried out all beaten up. Clearly losing agents the seeker. Prowl wasn’t having it smashing his peld into the Cons back keeping him on the ground. The Con shivered slightly.

“Now apologies!” Prowl spat his ordered.

Skyfire blinked a few times before waving him off.

“No-no it’s ok,” Skyfire said with a smile “No real harm done.”

“No, Misfire needs to learn,” Prowl said grinding in his heel.

“I’m sorry,” Misfire said softly. 

“Not to me!” Prowl shouted.

He had always been a all serious mech. Sure we got along and he respected me and we did fool around on occasion... but nothing to serious. Honesty all the better for it, he was one of the mechs who couldn’t stand the war being over. 

I watched the Con keel his neck back, struggling to look up at Skyfire.

“S-so sorry sir...” He said without a hint of sarcasm. 

In one forceful move Prowl grabbed him and forced him up. I heard him whisper-

“This isn’t finished...” 

The Con just bowed his helm not wanting to make it worse. 

Thundercracker kept his cold hateful expression glancing up at the shuttle. As Skyfire went too put on the leash. He didn’t try and fight. Sky’ ignored the look of hate and took his Cons hands gently.

“I’m glad you ok,” Skyfire smiles sweetly. “Please stop getting in fights, you have no idea how worried you make me...”

“Don’t lie too me. I mean nothing to you and I’ll never be him no matter how nice you pretend too be,” He hissed tugging away slightly.

Rumour has it that Thundercracker was undyingly Grateful for for his masters love, care and understanding. Tragically Sky’s reasons for taking care of him wasn’t out of pure kindness... he let it slip at a meeting. 

Skyfire axedently called him ‘Star’.

Everyone had guest but it was when Thundercracker really snapped.

I wasn’t there I heard from Bee, they had a big fight. 

Skyfire just looked down sadly...

“I know...”

I went up too the guards for Closelens back, he was covered in... Energon chips?

Eh, I’ll ask about that later. I’d just brush off what I could at the moment. But I wanted to make sure he was ok.

Closelens kept quiet and his helm low, clearly intimidated but Sideswipe and definitely by Skyfire. 

Thundercracker kept his hateful optics on him...

Closelens wasn’t on a leash like him and was perhaps jealous? I don’t know, but my pet kept his arm locked with mine.

Suddenly I remembered that Skyfire was on Primes comity, I wanted to ask about that meeting we were supposed to have and why it was delayed. I was... really hoping to see Prime again.

Skyfire unfortunately had no answers. But Thundercracker...

“Why don’t you just ask him, he’s here at the track. Or his slave was very lost,” He said bitterly.

My spark stopped in my chest, butterfly in my tank. 

Prime was here? At the track... I-I... I didn’t even have time too prepared myself. Why did Prime have to make a habit of surprising me?

“Jazz?” Closelens’s voice asked likely feeling field go wonky and my temperature. I ignored him and looked at Thundercracker.

“Did she say where he was?” I asked nervously.

“We didn’t talk,” He just shrugged. “But he’s a big mech, maybe he’s at the Energon stand?”

That was a idea, it’s out of view of the track...

“Welp, I’m gonna go back to the track Good luck finding Prime, tell the big bot I said “hi”,” Sideswipe said turning into his Altmode and going back. I knew why, He had been avoiding anything that reminded him of the war... 

“I think we’re going to head out too, I need to give Thundercracker a stern talking too,” Skyfire said. 

Sure he would, right after I confess my love to Springer. I thought sarcastically. He was too sweet to even tell Wheeljack not to do something that might cost both there lives. For Primus’s sake he saw the “good” in Starscream! The most he’ll do to his Con is nicely ask him not to do it again. 

Even Thundercracker scoffed at the idea. ”Right~”

It was no wonder Skyfire had to save him off death row, Fortress Maximus wouldn’t tolerate his attitude. I personally thought he had a wright to be upset. On earth he was a asset, and practically the G.I Joe’s mascots. I just wish he was nicer to Skyfire, the shuttle was trying soooo hard to give him the best life he could...

We watched them both walked away, Skyfire tugging his Con along...

I felt my pet pull himself to my more, “Thundercracker started the fight...” Closelens whispered to me.

“I’m not surprised,” I said honestly. Give it a moment... “Right, let’s go find Prime,”


	37. Ch 37: Ghost of the past

Ch 37

Ghost of the Past

Closelens P.O.V

The closer we got to the Energon stands the more nervous Jazz got. His field ignored mine for the most part and Jazz hardly said a word. Perhaps   
Optimus knew what his second in command had done to his prisoner and Jazz was fearing his Primes wrath?

Last time they talk Jazz felt he needed to overenergize to Cope. Not to mention taking his anger out on me...

Starscream was second in command and he alway got beat up by our leader... maybe the Autobot did the same.

But Jazz was... afraid afraid, it was more- nervous afraid.

What if the Prime was angry about Jazz beating up Springer. I don't want him to get hurt because of me!

I held him closer. I doubt Jazz would stand a chance. I remembered his height from the part, his towering presence and broad frame. He could snap Jazz like a twig...

I shivered at the thought.

Jazz was so into his own thoughts he didn't notice my worry. Primus he must have been scared out of his mind. His vents were shaky and his normal expression was gone. Replace with a serious one.

"Jazz?" I whispered looking up at him. Jazz came out of his thoughts and glanced down at me. "Are you okay?"

He chuckled and gave me a pat on the head. He field instantly went back to 

normal and his posture sharpened.

H-he really thought that plastic smile could fool me?

I have built in magnetic sensors so accurate I can read between emotional waves. Now I wasn't so consumed by my own self safety I could worry about Jazz. I didn't want Prime to hurt him. Not after everything he's done for me.

"Whats wrong?" I asked as we kept moving. He still didn't answer. I tugged on him putting me feet down forcing him to stop. The suddenly stop made   
Him fumble a bit but his visor quickly darted to me.

"Closelens," he spat annoyed.

"What are you so scared of," I demanded.

"You're being ridiculous-"

"Am I? The last time you talked to Lord Prime you got all weird-"

"Let's go," Jazz tried to pull me along but I fought back.

"No." I said firmly.  
Jazz stoped for a moment before turning back to me. His expression darkened...

"Excuse me?"

He pulled me closer, I could help get a sudden chill.

"I-I said No," I said trying to stand my ground. My voice wasn't up to it though, fear shook my voice. "A-and I won't move, if he's hurting you?"

I pulled my wrist closer to me actively giving the illusion that had pulled him closer. I gave him my deadest serious glare I could.

It was clearly not the response he thought I'd give.

"You think Optimus is... hurting me?" He asked confused. All his master anger was lost his visor brightened in surprise.

"Megatron always hurt starscream, he alway took it out on those in his command. The war is over, Lord Prime can't tell you what to do. And if he is abusing you-you shouldn't see him. I-I forbid it!"

Jazz gave me a big smile, and snickered in delight. I know he probably thought I was cute or something but I'm serious!  
He scooped up my chin.

"Pet, it's sweet your worried for your masters safety. But I assure you Optimus hasn't raised a servo to me or his underlings. He isn't like Megatron. We're perfectly safe, I'm just behind in some work I have to do for him, that's all," He said. Jazz was still lying but at least not about getting abused.

I don't know how my protection came out of left field for him. Jazz's has done everything for me.

I owe him.

"Satisfied?" Jazz asked, I nodded and followed him to the Energon stations set up for the racers. With hindsight being 20/20 I definitely should have worded it differently... that was razor edge close to a act of defiance. Thankfully Jazz didn't seem to be holding it as punishment worthy, so I didn't need to worry about that.

But yes Thundercracker was right. Lord Prime was in a shaded area with a data pad, looking hard at work.

Why wasn't he at home if he was working?

We approached the the large mech, my gaze hit the floor and I got closer to Jazz.

Something I noticed was Jazz's field was so tight to him he rendered himself unreadable... likely to avoid further protest by me. I wouldn't, especially in front of Lord Prime. Jazz would have to likely punish me just to save face in front of his boss.

"Hey OP," Jazz said casually. Primus looked away from his data pad and too his SIC.

"Good morning Jazz, how are you," He asked kindly.

"Meh, same-old-same-old," Jazz wave off. "You?"

"I guess, frustrated is the right word," Prime said making me swiftly try and catch a glance.

"Consul issues?" Jazz asked

"Yes, we were suppose to get place for the meeting but the consul has been ignoring my request to let us rent a holding space..." Prime said looking back to his data pad.

The consul were idiots to denying the request of Primus's chosen! I mean it's definitely weird because They are all deeply religious. Sooo why would they ignore him?

Jazz shifted himself.

"Want me to talk to them? You know I'm good at dig'n for dirt, it helps make problems go away..." Jazz said with a big smirk.

Right, Jazz was head of espionage. He would know how to get black mail to strong arm the Consul.

Lord Prime shook his head, "No no, I'd like to keep these things civil."  
Oh please, the Consul clearly want to undermine him. They must only like Prime's they can control.

"Sure thing, We could always ask Magnus to help us find a place. If anyone knows where to hold big boring board meetings he'd know," Jazz said   
friendly. But I could hear the Irritation in him his voice.

He could see the consul's scrap too.

"Yes or I was thinking at holding it at my place..." Optimus said.

Jazz froze on the spot.

Jazz's P.O.V  
Sweet Primus... I know it had nothing to do with me or how I felt but just the thought of Optimus asking me to his place made me stall out.

"Even better, Magnus is probably too Busy listening to Rodimus while simultaneously banging his head against the wall," I joked. Prime smiled at that.

"I'm sure Ultra Magnus is doing well with him," he said. But that smile... I kept my field tighter and virtually invisible. I needed to stay in control.

"If you say so, do you have a ruff estimate for when perhaps we're meeting up?" I asked

"Tomorrow perhaps, I'll notify you a clearer time," He said with the same sweet expression.

"Sure thing, U- Uh if you need help with set up or anything just give me a ring," I said trying not to sound weird.

"Of corse old friend,"  
A small wave of hurt ebbed from my field. I wasn't able to stop it...

I hated it when he called me that soooo much... Closelens was the only one who noticed giving me a brief glance before looking back down. Thankfully he kept quiet. But I'd have some explaining to do later...

Also thankfully Prime wasn't as field sensitive as others.

That I found kinda ironic considering how emotionally concussions he was. I   
guess romantic cues just went over the big guys head.

"I just might take you up on that offer, you and you're Con may help."  
I felt Closelens flinch slightly at the mention darting his optics up blinking in confusion.

"C-corse my lord, thank you," Closelens bowed slight.  
Good mech, he's definitely getting a treat for that...  
Prime nodded.

"If I may ask, how did you know I was here?" Optimus asked.

"We spotted Nickel, did she telling you to get out more?" I asked. Optimus just sighed at the reminder. My smiled widened...

"She doesn't think I get out enough," Prime confessed. I nodded smuggling.

"That why your locked her in the stands and hid?" I said half lid. Prime shifted a little embarrassed. "She just wants too take care of you."

Nickel was one of the last "free" member of the DJD. The rest were in spark bound prison with no body, awaiting execution. Prime saved her form joining them.

"I know," Prime said turning off his data pad putting it in his sub space. Prime brushed his helm with his servos. "I've been struggling to keep my patience with the Consul. But I don't want to just quit..."

"Then don't, taking a brake and quitting are two very different things," I said in a moment of improv reached out my servo, my spark beating against my plating. "Let's go racing, Prime."

He always had a bad habit of not knowing when to relax. It's a good thing he alway had me here to show him the ropes. The big guy wouldn't stop at 

nothing but the world could survive a morning without Prime.

The consul was just playing mind games and they were getting to him...   
Primus, Maybe he did need me back again.

He graced me a small smile...

"I'd like that," OP then took my hand nearly causing me to glitch. I needed to yell at my hub controls to not do anything embarrassing. My tank turned and my field wanted to escape my hold with a burst of joy.

I'd- I'd get to hang out with him. I haven't done that since... before.

I had a ping of hope in me, another chance to prove myself.

I had practically forgotten about Closelens on my other arm as I noticed I   
had pulled away from him.

He hadn't lacked back on and made sure to keep himself quiet. He kept his helm bowed waiting for instructions.

I'd take him back to the bleachers. Me and Prime could hangout and talk on   
the track. Yeah I could drive circles around him but of course I wouldn't. 

That is... unsettling he was open to a little friendly competition.

Closelens's P.O.V  
What it happening?

I only ask this in part because I don't feel comfortable moving my helm. But I could feel Jazz pull away more and more and it felt inappropriate to move without request. His field while nicely hidden I could feel perfectly.

It was hazy with layers of emotions, collapsing in on one another. Waning under pressure but not necessarily in a bad way... that was the part that was lost on me. His forced chill behaviour became flawless in act but it wasn't   
how he was feeling.

But it wasn't a lie.  
Jazz was loyal but... what was this? Friendship?

Granted, I'm not the best judge for that sort of thing. Skipper the only one I considered a 'friend' and that's only because she did exude a constant need to rule over me through intimidation. Like most others.

Jazz's suppression of his field was exuding a lot of static, I doubt even I would have noticed if I wasn't already focusing on his emotions.

Maybe that's why he drifted from me. He had let me go in favour of his Prime. I wasn't jealous or anything but I'd be lying to say I felt nothing of it.

We were standing in front of the leader of the Autobot, chosen one of Primus and a absolutely power house that could tare me limb from limb if he wanted. Needless to say I kinda wanted some form of physical reassurance that I was safe.

Jazz had brought me back to the bleachers when suddenly a tiny blue femme smooshed herself against the bars. It was the femme that was looking after Spinister.

"Optimus! What in the pits are you doing, You're suppose to be out there in the track having yourself a good old time. How are you suppose to stick-it too the Consul if you're in low spirits!" The tiny femme spat.

All I could do was shot her a bewildered look.

How?  
How was that ok? What was going through her processor to think it was ok to scold the Prime!

"Sorry, Nickel it was my fault. We kinda bumped into each other and had a lot to catch up on," Jazz lied. Nickel gave him a sceptical look.

Why was Jazz humouring her? She's a slave like me, how isn't she afraid.

"Oh fine, so long as his hasn't got his servos on a data pad, I'll be happy,"   
the blocky femme said crossing her small arms.

The guards escorted me into the bleacher while Jazz waved me off.

"Now be good, pet," Jazz said.

"Yes, Jazz," I nodded as he walked off with his wired field so I couldn't pick at it anymore. I sat myself down letting my frame relax...  
the tiny femme rolled up to me...

"Pet, Eh? I hope you have a better name then that," she said jokingly.

"My name is Closelens, your Nickel right?" I asked

"Yes," she said shaking my hand. "Come up and sit with me and Spinister, he could use some new friends."

Jazz's P.O.V

Me and Prime did get to race, and yes, I absolutely destroyed him! Prime has always been a good sport about these sort of things.

"You reminded me of Nickel, I'm not sure where you two get all your energy," OP said.

"Heh, same fuel as anyone else, we just know how to use it better," I said. 

"Plus I know you would give her anything short of the best."

"With Cybertron come back to life and Energon reserves restored, we have plenty of good Energon to go around. Besides I doubt you fuel you're Con any less then yourself," He said.

"True, expect my Con isn't bossy like Nickel. Wellll except of today. It was really cute, I was coming to find you when he put his foot down demanding I don't see you. He was worried that you would treated me like Megatron treated Starscream," I chuckled at the thought He's cute when he's serious.

"What gave him that idea?" Prime asked.

"You're guess is as good as mine," I surged internally. A moment of silence passed.

"I've been meaning to ask you, why did you take a Con?" Prime asked gently, opening the can of worms...

"..." I was stuck for a answer but it didn't stop there...

"When I heard about what happened after I left you're place and the hospital. Ratchet's been helping me keep a eye on things."  
I shifted nervously. Of course he was reporting to Prime...

"I... I'm not hurting him," I said feeling a ping of pain in my spark. Prime didn't trust me, I mean how could he, after everything I've done. I hurt... so many...

I remember when it had finally sank in, just how far my progression got... the first few times... I never did it myself... I used tools to... -get what I wanted to know. It was just a more affective way of torturing. It was just a job, it was war. Prime would thank me of getting this kind of information, he'd never had too know.

I'd tell myself as a excuse to keep going bigger.

Back then I thought What did it matter, they only show us the same.  
Mirage, Cliffjumper and myself were captured, a mission went south. We were brought to Soundwave... at first it was fine, I was no stranger to withstanding torcher and Soundwave didn't do anything new.  
But his soldiers...

Soundwave was a very busy mech, probably had things to do so his soldiers thought it might be fun to play with us while there boss was out.

They never touched me.

But they made me watch.

They took turns with my mechs demands answers to questions that I   
couldn't tell them. Or just doing it for fun.

After so long Mirage couldn't make it... when Soundwave did come back he sliced pieces of his frail mind, axedently braking something that was already broken.

Me and Cliff knew he wouldn't survive.

He could do anything by himself anymore and needed to be taken care of. He's mind lost... we could only help so much. When Soundwave went away again I knew he wouldn't make it. He'd cave and surrender. I managed to get ahold of a guards gun letting me kill Mirage. His expressionless optics... haunt me... in my disparity to just end it I moved to Cliffjumper.

I'd never seen horror until I pointed a blaster at him. he begged me not to shoot. He cried that he wouldn't brake, pleading me for his life.

I must have looked like a mad mech. My visor had been gone and my red optics must have been frightening.

Lucky for me I was tackled by a guard and the gun was taken from me...  
4 long weeks past before we were rescued. We survived 2 months but something in me was gone, and a new anger born...

I wanted to brake every last one of them, Mentally physically in every way imaginable. All so they might feel a semblance of the pain they caused.  
I became a torturer...

Cliffjumper ever recovered, he was in a mental institution ran with Rung.  
It became cathartic... a way I could blow of steam. I never imagined just how much of me was consumed.

Oh I got answers... I got war turned answers.

I used a system like now of give and take, but there was no mercy. Closelens hadn't been my first Pet. Except the ones I created were far worse, abomination.

And I loved every one of them... out of hate.

I'd ravage them daily... took what I wanted even if they had nothing left to give. And when they became exactly what I wanted they bored me.

I put them down like mechanimals.

Until one day...

One who's name I didn't even bother to learn looked up at me with a blank stair, looking up into oblivion. The same look the same expression as 

Mirage... I'd done it...

I was a monster.

So detached from who I was I'd successfully lived a seamless double life. The only one who knew were my prisoners and Ratchet who I'd forced to clean up the messes I'd made.

When I returned to being Jazz I was disgusted for what I let myself turn into...

I cried for a whole day holding my dead pet in my arms. I came to Ratchet spark broken and more confused then ever before in my life. Covered in old Energon I was shacking so much I dropped to my knees. In my incoherent ramblings of crying sobs, I pleaded for help. Something was wrong and I was to dangerous to be aloud to go unchecked.

Ratchet... didn't yell at me or lecture me. All he said was I needed to confess to Prime.

That I did...

I practically threw my wrists at him begging him to arrest me. To have me executed or something...

I'll argue that Prime gave me the worst punishment of all...  
Nothing.

I was given a short privet trial. But nothing came of it other then a investigation. I wasn't a reliable witness because I was in shock. I was suffer horrific ptsd, hallucinations, mood shifts, and and sporadic memory lost. My memories became cloudy as I fought to forget.

My health hit a critical low, and I almost died.

Drinking became my only hope for escape. But got in a accident while drinking and driving, I got into a head on collision with a rail side beam. I needed 2 surgeries. Once again Ratchet saved me and was willing to help me get through this. He took me to talk to Rung and I could really start to let go. I was relearning control and picking up the peace's of my life.

And then...

Closelens...

”I know you’re trying, but like I said before. Have a little more faith in yourself. Stay determined...”

Me and Optimus continue to talk, I managed to give him a simple answer that made him move on. We talked less about heavy stuff. We made a fun day out of it... he seemed so happy or at the very least more relaxed.

Nickel was also pleased with the results as well.

We bid farewells and went our separate way.

Me and Closelens walked home together. In high spirits, he told me all about Nickel and Spinister. some new fiends really made his day. He also talked about how he'd never had any before.

He thanked me for such a wonderful day hugging my arm as we walked home. I made sure to fuel him up, and I hadn't forgot to reward him for such excellent behaviour.

But I'd been racing all day so I had excused myself to clean myself off in the washrack. I was really just looking for some alone time...

I turned on the hot water and got myself all soaped up and just stood there in the steam and water letting rinse today off my frame and between my armour.

I couldn't help but smile, OP needed me today... I made him happy.  
I got to be is second again, Primus, I'd do anything for him.

He brakes himself to help everyone yet what does he get? A broken planet and a billion more problems and a good for nothing second in command.  
Why do I still want him? Why should I be so worthy of being with such a beautiful mech?

Optimus

I couldn't help but imagined his blue servos touching me, moving between my plating. I closed my optics letting my hands move, shadowing how I'd imagined Prime.

Slow and absolutely Gentle...

Everything about him was, from his spark from his voice his field. The way he'd command, the look in his eyes... any pain He'd just soothe it all away. 

No matter who, or what they've done.

My temperature skyrocketed through my armour and my spark pulsed in my chest. I felt my vents huffed as my hands travelled lower.  
The heat of the washroom forbid me from cooling.

It hadn't been the first time I thought about Prime like this, doing this. It hurt that he'd never want me this way, Not ever.

But the picture in my head was to much to pass off. him looking down at me, removing his mouth guard. Letting me see despite how much he hates his own face, for not being Orion's.

I wanted to tell him how beautiful he was, how much he really meant to me... I didn't care if he was my prime, he was my Optimus.

I leaned back against the wall and stroked my inner thighs. Imagine him pinning me to the wall. Letting him take whatever he wanted... he could 

have anything he desired... my valve, aft, mouth, sprite... anything and anyway he wanted it.

Squeezing my optics shut harder to help trick my mind into thinking it was OP's.

I clicked open my interface equipment and released my spike. Starting at the bace and gently caressing to the tip.

I let out a heavy vent taking in the steamy air. It was so hot, and the water felt nice...

My other hand slid to my valve putting two fingers in.

"Mmm," I moaned.

Optimus would take his time preparing me. He'd make absolute sure he wouldn't damage anything... I pumped my servo slowly around my spike. 

Optimus would be so gentle I'd have to sob for him to take me. Too not prolong my suffering. Still he wouldn't listen. He'd let me beg in his arms and against his chest for more until he thought I was ready. Not out of malice but for my own protection.

At that point I'd doubt I'd be able to speak coherently. My need driving me over the edge, that's when he'd have me.

I scissored my fingers making me gasp, pretending it was Prime.

All the things I'd do to satisfy him. Anything just to hear him say, just to tell me I wasn't just his second in command or even his "old friend". That I was safe and he'd keep me forever in his strong safe loving arms.

Prime wouldn't ever be unsatisfied ever again. I'd let him frag me raw and bleeding if it made him happy. All for him to just pin me down and have me again and again... I'd thank him each time.  
No

He'd never hurt me. Even if I'd deserve it, if my Prime chose to punish me I'd kiss his pleds with gratitude. I'd be his slave if he'd command it so.

My strokes became faster, I needed the wall to keep me from falling. Trying to catch my breath with a moan.

I'd worship him, making sure he knew how much he meant to me. How much I longed for his approval and praise.

He'd take me slow so his spike wouldn't hurt me... I'd moan like it was my first and beg like shareware.

I'd overload as many times as he'd like or as many time as it takes. And I'd take it, I'd take it all!

Suddenly I imagined his hands on me just as gentle but smaller... laying in bed letting him take care of me. The smaller hands able to get better between my kibble making me squirm with pleasure.

"Primus," I muttered feeling a charge build up.

I used my forearm to hold the wall as I thrusted into my own hand. My vents gasped for air. I didn't want to cry out, Closelens might be close and I didn't want him to hear me.

My mind had replaced Prime with Closelens. Him taking me on the berth, his optics lost in bliss. His breathless paint and seamlessly groans of pleasure.  
I could hear him well...

When he'd overload he'd fall against my chest trembling from the experience. When he got a grip on himself he'd look up at me flush and tired. But with nothing but love in his optics and a smile...

No fear... but real love...

My optics snapped open and I opened my mouth in silent scream as I   
crashed to the ground and drenched. Transfluid painted my lap and servo. My audio glitched in and out with static charge.

My frame trembling as my climax slowly dissipated. I just stayed there venting, letting the water clean me again.

"Closelens?" I whispered. I drew in a out a big breath slowly as guilt washed me over.

how dare I...

Using Prime to blow my lode is one thing but with Closelens... I hade built a line. He was off limits by every stretch of the imagination.

I felt my tank turn in horror at the implications, I-I own him but I'd never   
make him do that! For Primus's sake, he was just raped how could I even think of something like that!

My frame continued to tremble.

I brought my clean hand to my mouth still in shock.

"Dammit!" I cursed. I gave myself a moment to think it over.  
He was attractive, thinking about him probably just accidentally roped him into my fantasies...

 

 

That's was probably it...

 

I


	38. Ch 38:

Closelens’s P.O.V

I had such a nice day! 

I loved that I could say that, I’d shout it from the rooftop if I could, I had friends!

I learned all about them and what life was like. Nickel told me how Optimus spared her and that he was a big sweetie. I wasn’t so sure about that, but it was nice to hear that she is being taken care of v.s other mechs I’ve met. Spinister took a while to talk too, but when I did he talked about his old team members and how much he missed them. And His master, Sideswipe and how he was all around a good master, just his brother he took real issues with. 

I was so caught up in how I was feeling I was oblivious to how Jazz was acting. Primus, it wasn’t until after he got out from the washrack that I noticed something was... off. Jazz looked flushed and he was burning to the touch. Was he like this the whole time! How couldn’t I have noticed?

His sat down sitting farther from me then usual. His field looked almost, sick. But his frame looked practically glowing.

“Jazz, are you feeling ok?” I asked. He didn’t look sick, his colours were a vibrant as ever.

“Yeah I-I’m fine, I’m just overheating I think. Shower messing with my cooling systems,” Jazz said nonchalantly.

That was fine but when I went to snuggle on the couch with him, he told me to go recharge in the guest room. 

Not gonna lie, that kinda hurt a little...

Maybe he was mad about me accusing his Lord Prime as being abusing. I just... I wanted to do something to protect him for once. 

But he couldn’t be upset or he wouldn’t have given me a treat. 

Why on earth was Jazz was soooo weird today. Dose he always act this way around other friends or just Prime... 

Or maybe he was coming down with something and didn’t want me to catch it? It was really hard to tell and his field was all embarrassed and guilty.

Jazz’s P.O.V

I felt awful about telling him to go away.

He was so happy and wanted to snuggle with me. Not just me force him to stay until he relaxed. I didn’t need a evil plan to trick him or anything like that. He wanted to be close to me. He chose it and I just sent him away.

Part of me was calling myself a idiot while the other half told me I did the right thing. I’d get the wrong kind of thrill from it. And he didn’t need to deal with me sorting out my feeling. Granted I wouldn’t go as bad like at the party but I wouldn’t forgive myself. 

Closelens, He thinks I’m a good master, that should be good enough.

Pits considering all the slag I put him through, I should be Grateful!

I needed to recharge this over. Focus on tomorrow, I’d get to see Prime. And he’d even let me and my pet help set up and get organized.

Primus.

I had such difficulty getting back in contact with Prime ever since the war ended. Sure I gave him invites to my parties but even I knew he wasn’t much of a party person, so no chance for that.

I had been welcomed back onto the Prime’s Consul but I didn’t feel like I was worthy to be in a leader position ever again.

But... Prime had come to see me directly... he wanted me back.

I’d prove myself.

I could be more responsible, pits I sent Closelens away because I’m scared I’d do some that might shatter his trust.

I felt a smile tug my lip...

It’s nice to be wanted again.

Closelens’s P.O.V

I fell back on the berth I grabbed all the blankets and made myself a little net so I could curl up in it. A thin sheet for over top and I hugged a pillow.

I was determined to make myself as comfy as possible. 

I’d get to see Nickel again tomorrow. 

I won’t lie, Prime see seemed nice. Nickel and Jazz really like him but I didn’t want to take any chances. He was still a Prime and must be shown absolute respect. The mech despite the Consuls grievances, he was still in pursuit of our freedom.

I hadn’t forgotten that. 

Primus what would even happen?

Well, I’d like to start that apprenticeship with Sunstreaker as soon as possible. Sure I wasn’t much interested interested in Painting people but it was a start. Then maybe I could ask for private art lessons.

Maybe earn enough to open my own gallery, I could even rent it for other artists to display their work... maybe if it gets big enough make it a art Hall along the way. Maybe in a couple thousand years make it big enough to be considered a important artifact of the post war era... The war destroyed a lot of art... but some day I could become a curator, give tours to the younger generations.

And just... let it grow...

For now I just needed to live long enough to see it...

I remember the first day here. I hade a meltdown and Jazz promise me he’d get me through this. That this-

I touched the collar.

-wasn’t forever.

I needed to hold on to that.

If Prime could get us out of these chains, I’d be honoured to be a part of it.

With all that out in the air, I wasn’t really that scared to see Prime again. I could be respectful, keep my head down and help file data pads. Serve Energon to guests if he’d like... I wouldn’t do anything to embarrass Jazz. 

I was even, a little excited.

Nickel could help give me some pointers if the pressure dose get to me. 

And I assume we get to stay during the meeting, maybe we’ll get the run of the place while the Autobot discuss this. But who know, maybe other slaves might be there with there Masters. I really hope we don’t have to sit at our Masters feet in silences. That would be awfully boring...

Then a terrible thought hit me... my optics darted open.

Springer, he’s the Leader of the Wreckers.... he’s going to be there, isn’t he?

Oh sweet Solus Prime.


	39. Ch 39: Ego and Place part 1

Chapter 39

Ego and Place part 1

Closelens’s P.O.V

It was impossible to recharge that night. The next day I found the questions from last night still sat with me. I didn’t know if jazz knew about Springer or not but it didn’t matter. I’ll ask him later but...

It made me frustrated... 

Jazz nearly killed the mech, this really should be over and done. I shouldn’t have to see him again! It wasn’t fare!

I was nervous enough by the thought of seeing Optimus and the other Autobots let alone that horrible fowl monster. 

I curled in on my self. 

I shuttered my optics and held on to my chest.

He had torn it open like tissue paper and took a gift that wasn’t meant to be his. My spark, was forced to bond with that beast. He felt no guilt or shame, otherwise he wouldn’t have come after me in the hospital.

I fought of tears.

With Jazz I didn’t bother hide them, the worst it could do was make my master feel more sympathetic towards me. 

But... I didn’t want to cry over Springer. I’ve done it to much already. He didn’t deserve any more attention.

I slowly sat up, even if it was four in the morning I figured I do something a bit more useful then wallow on a berth. I needed t get my mind of him.

I tiredly walked through the halls and into the washrack to take away my sleepiness. I quickly checked my hub and all my level were fine, I’d survive sleepless nights before, this would be no different.

A ping of regret took me as I realized just how poor of a decision this was...

“Uhh,” I sighed. This was going to be a looooong day.

I turned on the hot water and started to clean myself. My hope was to be completely ready to go before Jazz gets up. Polished and everything.

I smiled a little thinking of him complementing me, maybe telling me how pretty I look.

A treat maybe...

I felt my core temperature rises.

I noticed my servos were scrubbing my helm, just behind my audio fin letting out a purr...

Like Jazz does ... 

Flushing in embarrassed I got back to reality. Primus what has he turned me into! I don’t even like the candies! They’re way to sweet for me!

Why am I so hopeless.

No, it doesn’t have to be weird, I obviously like him happy and those are my signs I was doing something right. 

But I... I really like when he complements me. 

 

The cleaning didn’t help even when I was applying wax I felt myself nod off.

I also overestimated my time as well, I had so much time I started to tidy up around the house. Not that it meant anything, it just meant les for the cleaning drones. 

And when Jazz did wake up he mind was elsewhere. He barely said a word since he got up and by the time we had left he still hadn’t given me to ok to talk. 

That frustrated me, I really really really wanted to ask about Springer. 

A bold move on my part but I needed to ask. 

I opened my mouth to talk when Jazz finally said something.

“Hey I just remembered something, our treat bag is getting low. How’s about we go to this nice little Candy store after we’re done at Prime’s. And if you’re really good- which I know you are.- I’ll let you pick out the ones you want.”

“Ok,” I said with a nod. “T-Thank you.”

Well that was nice of him... I would like to pick out my own candy. I don’t really like the other stuff all to much.

Maybe if I work up some courage down the line then I might ask for different fuel. But I... 

No, what am I scared of? Jazz won’t hurt me for asking for a different fuel type! It’s not like I’m going to be rude about it!

I didn’t want to come off as being unGrateful or anything...

I’ll just keep quiet on the issue. I’m well fuelled on good Energon, most other Cons can’t even dream about having it that good.

Speaking of bad masters, I really should ask about Springer, that’s what my first priority should be.

He hadn’t mentioned him so I don’t think he’ll be there. But I don’t even know if Jazz knows who’s even going to be there. After all if he was going to be there, Jazz would have told me of course.

That logic didn’t sit well with me.

I felt myself shutter slightly at the thought of ever seeing that green mech ever again.

“J-Jazz, do you think... Springer will be there?” I asked. His face got stony and serious.

“I’m sorry Closelens,” he said quietly.

I felt a ping of betrayal.

“Why didn’t you tell me!” I said upset, unable to stop the emotion. Why on the face of Cybertron would he think it was a good idea!

“I... I don’t want to tell you that until before the others started to show up,” Jazz said innocently. I couldn’t help but shoot him a rotten glare in disbelief.

“Oh, so you wanted to surprise me!?” I said rightfully so. Did he want me to blow my processor and have a hysterical meltdown in front of everyone! Surly damaging his reputation and ending with me likely getting punished as one of his rule told me to specifically NOT do that.

Or was this a ploy to make me need his comfort like I know he enjoys. So what, I can only get close to him so long as I’m emotionally fraged. Sadist glitch... I was so riled up I didn’t bother hide my Field. 

I was tired and fraged off!

Jazz grabbed my shoulders making me look at him.

“Listen to me, I didn’t mean it like that, I figured you were nervous enough seeing Prime again. I didn’t want you also dreading seeing Springer on top of that,” Jazz sighed “I was going to tell you, just, later today.” 

Jazz suddenly took a closer look at me.

“Closelens? You... you look exhausted, how much sleep did you get last night?” He asked all worried.

“...” I let the shame tell him...

“Pet, did- were you worried about this all night?”

“...” I didn’t want to talk.

“I’m so sorry,” I heard the real guilt in his voice. 

I kept looking at the ground cursing myself for snapping like that. I shouldn’t have snap at my Master, other slaves don’t get that luxury. I just- that wasn’t ok. Jazz should have told me before. 

That’s when Jazz pulled me in for a hug.

“You’re right, if you want to go back to the apartment and just hang there for the day, I will completely get it, Prime will too.”

I did... I didn’t think he’d let me talk to him that way. 

I felt a ping of regret.

Jazz didn’t mean to hurt me, he just didn’t want me to worry... 

I hugged him back.

“I’m sorry...” I whispered into his chest.

“Me more,” he said. I just enjoyed the moment. Primus, this mech cares about me so much...

“I’ll go, b-but I don’t want to be separated at any point when he shows up. Ok?” I said.

He gave me another sad look.

“During the meaning all Cons need stay in a separate room, Don’t worry, Optimus has already put protective security’s in place to keep all you safe. Though if it were up to me you’d be right where you are now,” Jazz said sweetly holding me closer.

I couldn’t help but smile and lean in more. He was right, I felt safe...

Jazz was such a good Master.

After that point Jazz became more lively, He chatted my audios off as we walked. It was a LONG ways to get to Primes place, we took one of the trains to get to the other side of Iacon faster.

Something I noticed was there seems weird, the train carts we got on was “Autobots only” (slaves aloud). Our cart was much nicer with bigger comfy seats, free Energon, nicely decorated, soft music. While the neutrals had to crowed together in a normal train cart. 

Pits, we got the place to ourselves.

It was a long ride, but not at all boring. I got to see so much more of Iacon, it was astonishing to see how fast it was being rebuilt. I remember when I first came here as a prisoner and it was still practically a waste land.

Well with the war over I guess that would leave plenty of time for reviving cybertron to its former glory. 

But I doubt the rest of the planet looks this good. 

‘Sides, I know a lot of my fellow Cons were likely breaking themselves just trying to keep up with the brutal demands. 

I felt a ping of guilt, I shouldn’t be enjoying this view.

Even if I wouldn’t be much useful for building or mining why should I be so lucky to get such a comfy life? I didn’t fight. I’m just a lap dog to someone who’s important while REAL Deception heroes who earned there stripes are forced into harsh labor. 

I felt myself shrink. 

“Closelens? You ok?” Jazz asked putting a servo on my shoulder. 

I just vented.

I’m fine, too fine... I’m well fuelled, I’m well taken care of.

And Safe. 

How many out there were stuck out there without anybody to care. 

I really needed to ask Jazz a question. I thought of it last night, but it’s been on my mind for a while... at least since the party. 

It was a weird serous question that I don’t want him to joke about. 

“Hey Jazz... in your opinion... W-What is the difference between a Pet and a Slave,” I asked keeping my optics locked on my hands. 

“A Slave is a tool to be used-“

“How a I different, aren’t I just a toy?” I asked daring to glance at him.

“No, A master takes care of a Pet.” Jazz said grabbing my chin. “Slaves take care of the master.”

“Oh...” I said small.

I... I still don’t really get it. I mean, I sort of do but... why? Why bother make that distinction in the first place. Doesn’t a Slave serve the same purpose as a pet to please a master. When I disobeyed I was punished like any other slave would. 

Well, not exactly. 

I guess Jazz was a lenient Master but-

I have a new question.

“How would it be different if you did see me as a slave?” I asked, Jazz, with a stoic and slightly annoyed expression. He slowly stroked the side of my face. 

I shivered slightly.

“Closelens, Slaves don’t get treated as people. There barely even though of as people. If I did think you weren’t a person, I’d see no point in not taking everything I wanted from you. I wouldn’t care for your safety and wouldn’t care to even try to make you happy. I’d see you as a tool to us as I please with little regard,”

Jazz’s voice was cold and I felt my tank sink. I dropped my optics and helm feeling intimidated.

Primus... Jazz had such a presents making me feel small enough to be step on.

Jazz’s P.O.V

Closelens was still having problems making sense of this. It makes sense that it confused him. however I didn’t blow his ego out (or what little he has) for nothing, I know what I’m doing.

I let him sit in that scenario for a moment longer before my next step.

I very slowly took both his hands in his lap.

He still didn’t want to look at me, he was lost in that horrible reality likely in a dark place of mine. 

But don’t worry...

I’ll rescue him...

This time I didn’t force him to look at me, it wouldn’t help his mind set. He did have choices even if it was something small.

“I don’t believe in slavery.” 

It was simple answer be completely true. 

Inwardly I smiled when his sweet beautiful optics darted up at me. 

“You’re a Cybertronian mech, I won’t ever forget that. You have thoughts and wishes for a future without me and I respect that. I want you safe and if I can make you happy, I will. Yes, I expect obedience but this-“ I tapped his collar. “This isn’t a excuse to hurt you.”

I watched him snake his hands to his collar. He hands were shaking as he carefully touched the ugly hunk of metal.

Good, I think he gets is. I could almost see him shifting throw his mind analyzing my answer. He was deep in thought.

“Do you... think you understand?” I asked leaning forward.

He nodded slowly. But I could feel him worried.

“Pet, there’s nothing you need to be scared of.”

Closelens P.O.V

I wasn’t worried about him hurting me, I’m good, or at least I try to be. I didn’t do anything to upset him. But he did answer my question. He said I was still a Cybertronian. That’s all I really needed to hear to put me at ease. 

He still thought of me as being more then some plaything. 

That’s all the real talk I needed for today. I can already imagine how hectic and stressful it’s going to get.

Uhh, why did I think staying up all night was a good idea.

But I’m sure Jazz won’t hesitate to help me.

Jazz was... kind.

Last night I thought about how disturbing it might be to see the other Cons. Ones like that abomination Sunspot or poor Astrotrain. Pits even seeing someone as nice as Misfire in hands like Prowl was unnerving.

Frag, I’m only alive because of how lax Jazz is but what happens when you take that away?

I remember the hot writing on Misfire’s back explaining his “place”. 

It’s hard to believe how lucky I am. I doubt I could have survived with their masters. I cry way to often and extremely over emotional. They’d tire of me fast and would be too annoyed to care. 

They’d sell me. Or at least try new and horrible ways to brake me. 

That last thought made me shiver. 

And I’d have to see them today. That part didn’t worry me to much now. All I had to do was stay close to Jazz bow my helm and keep my mouth shut. That can’t be to hard. 

The train started to slow down as we made it to our stop, when we got out we were in a neighbourhood for the super rich and powerful. It wasn’t to far a walk to get to the Prime’s Palace.

It was gigantic... 

It was a palace...

beautifully built and ornate... long columns in the front extending into a courtyard guarded. Blue stained glass trimmed the windows and the building towered over casting a enormous shadow over us.

And despite it’s size... it was welcoming.

Jazz was about to rang the doorbell before I spotted the Prime and Nickel working just out of sight in the guardian. I immediately stop him before pointing them out.

That’s when Prime noticed us. 

I quickly drew my hand back as if hadn’t just pointing at the Matrix bearer. I shuffled behind Jazz with flush humiliation. 

That was rude of me to point... I shouldn’t have...

I...

I tighten my field making me as small as I could wishing I could disappear, I honestly meant not disrespect. I bowed my head and kept my gaze as low as I could. 

Both Optimus and Jazz said nothing of the matter and ignored it.

I found that odd, if I did that in the Decepticon ranks I’d have lost my arm at best. And that would only be with normal soldiers, not at someone with real command.

Another thing I found odd, He and Nickel were both carrying a bunch of garden tools. I don’t get Why would the Prime waste his time on something meant for drones. Or even for Nickel to do.

The autobots greeted each other like old friends.

And just like at the track, nickel didn’t act like me, she was casually and relaxed. She spoke to Jazz normally and he had no negative reaction. Like she wasn’t a slave- or is she a pet? Yesterday she went off telling me how much she liked Optimus so he was likely training her like a pet. Slaves don’t like their masters I’d think. 

The fore of us went inside.

Nickel slinked behind with me as I still kept behind Jazz. 

“Are you ok?” The small femme whispered on the down low. I was Grateful. I don’t want the attention. I gave her a small node.

I was nervous but I’d survive, I think. The prospect of standing in company with Jazz and Optimus Prime was never something I’d ever thought possible. Sure, during war times they probably fought thousands of no names nothing Cons. They were warriors... the thought of being here was a sure fire death sentence. But my presence was tolerated, asked for, and in the case of Jazz; even wanted. 

Prime was a enormous figure I doubt I’d ever get used too. 

I’m not sure how Nickel ever adapted. 

The inside of the building was just as beautiful as the outside, the influence of golden age architecture was woven perfectly with more modern design. The plenty of windows to lit up beautifully with natural light. 

Still it’s size didn’t feel intimidating. The Prime made this to be a home first and a show of power second.

“I can’t thank you enough for your help,” Lord Prime said kindly.

Nickel offered to take the gardening tools and sped off to put them away.

“Anything for ya OP,” Jazz said casually. Or at least tried to. Seriously? Why did he insist on hiding his field so tight. I did it to be less noticed, Prime doesn’t need to be distracted with my cowering. But why was Jazz hiding? 

I wasn’t going to say anything, it didn’t matter in the long run. I was probably right yesterday. It just might be a Autobot culture thing I didn’t understand. Perhaps to do with the higher ranks. I don’t know.

Nickel wheeled herself back with us.

“Where should we start,” Jazz added.

“If you could help Nickel set up the meeting room that would be perfect. You’re Decepticon can assist me in my office if you’d please,” Lord Prime said making my spark stop cold.

What!?

Jazz must have noticed my horror as he passed me a glance. 

“Of course,” Jazz said. My spark felt a ping of betrayal... I shouldn’t, of course the Prime’s needs come light years before mine. Jazz can’t say “no”. But, Primus I wish he did...

Jazz’s P.O.V

I wanted to bang my helm into the nearest wall over and over. I didn’t think OP would separate us like that. 

I know what he was trying to do... 

But Poor Closelens, he looked on edge only one good push away from purging. He looked to me for help which didn’t make me feel any better. I couldn’t help him. Even if there is nothing to help him with. 

I went straight to my hub to comm him. 

Lens’s Comm:

“You’ll be fine, Optimus won’t hurt you,” I said.

But Closelens didn’t respond...

Looking him over at him and he seems to have went completely still. Honestly he’s probably safer with Prime then he ever has been with me. 

Plus I also know Optimus is Optimus and could deal with him if he dose brake. But I don’t want Prime to think I trained him to be so scared with my stupid mind games. 

Guilt crushed my spark. 

I should have told him more about Prime, that way he wouldn’t feel like he was a unknown evil. I should have told him about Springer probably showing up. This is completely my fault, now he’s going to be scared out of his mind. 

Optimus is going to rightfully blame me for Closelens sense of self worth and unease. And farther his perception of me will fall. 

Look at the way Nickel was compared to Closelens. Prime made sure she felt safe...

Closelens felt safe around me and me alone. I made him overly dependent for my own selfish desires. 

I cursed myself as I saw Closelens walk of with Prime scared out of his processor. I should have talked to him more on the train. 

My spark sank a little and sadness took over.

I should’ve guessed OP didn’t completely believe I wasn’t abusing him. 

To be fare, even last night I rewarded him for behaving like a beaten slave rather then encourage him to be more confident.

I’m still bad Master. 

When today is over I’ll fix this.

I’ll have to work on his ego... 

Nickel directed me to meeting room to set up the Energon and chairs first.

Closelens’s P.O.V

I felt a touch guilty for not responding to Jazz but I physically couldn’t. My mind was blank with panic. My mind clenched my field as tight as I could as I followed the slayer of Megatron. I didn’t wish to disturb the Lord Prime with my cowering presence. I kept my armour tight so my shivering remained dead silent.

Stiff, unmoving, I was to frightened to do anything without the large red and blue mechs blessing. Walking behind him was frightening.

I was the enemy.

I was a dirty nothing Con, the farthest thing from worthy to be in such a presence.

I was granted amnesty by him. He was the only reason I was aloud to continue to exist. I didn’t deserve to be here.

True, I had seen the Prime. But this... 

I was alone with him, I had no Jazz.

When we arrived in his office I made absolute sure to keep my mouth shut and my head as low as I could. 

When he turned around I almost bolted the other way.

But I kept still. 

I vented silently.

I wanted to disappear but I felt his optics. 

It was a blessing in disguise to keep my helm bowed like this, I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if I was forced to look up at the enormous figure. I’d just die on the spot, if I wasn’t already. I couldn’t tell anymore.

That was when He asked to look through a file cabinet with information. He had misplaced 2 data pads on population and Cybertronian colony refugees for this year. This wasn’t too bad, Optimus was doing the same but on the opposite side of his office. 

The office was small but had gorgeous furniture. Thankfully all that furniture was between me and him.

Another Plus, was this job was simple... I don’t get to show off this skills often but I’m a really fast reader.

I kept myself distracted with work to help me calm down. Even if I found most the data Pad to be boring. 

I’m not sure why I’m especially freaked out over Prime now. All things considering... I just...

I don’t want him to be mad at me. Primus, I’d rather jump head first into a smelting pit then face a Primes wrath. 

That’s when I noticed something. Across the room Prime was looking at me. I didn’t see it but I felt it. 

I made extra sure to keep from shifting to much. But then... one of the worst things happened.

That’s when I found a folder for: Population 

I didn’t vent as I skimmed its findings and it looked to be exactly what he were looking for. As I read my hands gripped tighter. I found what Lord Prime wants... I’ll have to give this to him... I’ll have to go over and talk to him...

I needed another moment to prepare myself, to figure out what to say. 

My spark swirled with panic.

I shut my optics tight.

Primus, I needed Jazz.

He could talk to Lord Prime, I could hand him any documents and everything would be perfect. 

I was a lonely slave about to approach a stranger kin to godly royalty. By the shadow underbace, why am I even here?

How do I even hand this to him? I don’t know enough about Autobot slave culture! I can’t screw up now! 

What i-if he wants to hurt me like Springer did.

What if that’s why he pulled me away from Jazz blanket of protection.

I really really really need Jazz!

I took a deep vent of air to cool myself.

I’m panicking over nothing...

I’ve heard nothing but fantastic things about the Lord Prime. He seems kind... I just need to compose myself and relax.

It’s just... 

He’s so big...

I still felt his optics on me, now probably Wondering why I was just standing around.

Now was the time, with the data pad in hand I approached the leader of the Autobot. I kept my field tight, not only to hide my fear but to also to mimic Jazz. If it was a Autobot culture thing I’d best respect it. 

“Lord Prime,... Sir,” I said quietly. I ducked my helm back down and handed him the data pad. “For your notes.”

“Thank you,” The Prime said taking it from me. “And please, You can just call me Optimus.”

I froze a second longer then I should have.

“Yes, O-Optimus,” I repeated back feeling unsettled. Jazz asked me to do the same when we first met, but I figured the Prime was owed more but just like with Jazz I’d listen of course.

Primus, I-I do anything this mech tells to to do. 

This still wasn’t a safe place to make mistakes.

Primus, I was trapped silently cowering. I-I sincerely hoped it wasn’t annoying him.

Nickel was fearless, then again she was a member of the DJD.

“Have you finished looking through the files?” He asked unfreeze me.

“No Optimus, but I’ll finish s-shortly,” I said practical jumping at the chance to escape. I felt a rush of urgency. I ran away to get back to my task when one foot fell wrong over the other making me trip. However I was close enough the file cabinet to catch myself. 

I felt myself flush in embarrassment.

Did I really just-

Can I just not be a screw up for once in my life. 

I cursed myself as I got back to work immediately. Flying through data pad to data pad. I still felt the Prime’s optics on me. I did my best to ignore them.

Soon enough the feeling began to fade and I felt safe again. I know, It was hardly safe. Or at least not far removed form danger. Pits, why did he even ask me to help him with this. Setting up snacks and organizing note pads evenly seems more of a Slave job then one for the head of espionage. 

It’s his leader-

No.

I’m not aloud to think that anymore.

He is my leader, Even if by force. He’s my Prime too, whether I wanted it or not.

I. Have. No. Rights.

The only things I’m allowed to do, is serve Jazz. I’ve made peace with that sure enough but... 

Suddenly I found the other document. 

I cringed to myself. I didn’t want to do this again. 

Grabbing the document.

Prime won’t hurt me, I’m obeying his orders and thus has no reason to see me as a threat. In fact, no one in the universe sees me as a threat. I’m harmless. So I’m just gonna do it...

I turned around and marched over to the blue and red convoy. When a burst of fear washed over me as he turned around to meet me.

I stoped venting and held up the data pads trying to keep myself from shaking.

“H-here.” I said, I wasn’t brave enough for optic contact but it was a start. Once again, he took the pad. Primus, I didn’t want to imagine but how many mech had he killed with those hands? 

“I can’t watch this anymore,” The Lord Prime said making me flinch and my field Ebbed fear beyond my control.

“What?” I asked

The Prime put his servo on my shoulder making me gasp.

Pits No! I wanted to take off in the other defection as fast as I could. I felt my spark pounding again my chassis. This was not ok, this was very bad.

Lubricants built up in my optics but I needed not to cry. I needed to keep silent. I needed to keep still and let The Prime do whatever he wants. 

Even if I ran I’d never be able to outrun him, Primus, 65 different fight scenarios flashed through my Processor all of which end disastrously.

Whatever I did, I needed to fix immediately! Oh sweet Primus! 

I was about snap, about to drop to my knees to beg forgiveness for whatever I’d done to offend this living legend. 

But Optimus spoke first.

“Closelens, it’s ok, relax. I’m not going to harm you,” The Prime said with his powerful voice. His hand stroked my shoulder gently. I want to believe him but I couldn’t. This mech... was leader of the Autobots, Primus’s chosen, Slayer of Megatron. 

He... knows my name...h-how? I-I didn’t know how to feel about that. But it’s ok, This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, Jazz probably just mentioned me in conversation yesterday. 

See, no big deal.

Unless...

Unless Jazz told him that I accused the Prime of abusing him.

My frame trembled as panic rushed me again, when my mouth started moving for me.

“Please...” 

I don’t know why I said that. I just couldn’t fathom a proper sentence that didn’t betray my frame. I can’t imagine how pathetic I looked. 

“Look at me,” his voice boomed like thunder. It was a order but... it was delivered in the way a creator might with their sparkling. Calm and gentle.

It took a moment but I listened and brought my helm to meet his glowing blew optics. 

“Listen, the war is over, There is no fight. If I had grievances with you, I wouldn’t have invited you to my home,” The Prime said slowly so I could follow a bit easier. 

That’s true. 

But... why?

Why was the Prime suffering to Sooth a cowered like me. I was a waste of his time. I felt shame wash over me.

“So sorry,” I said in a small voice.

“Don’t be, I’m very used to that reaction,” Prime said warmly, “Please sit down.”

I sat down at a side table as he brought over two cubes of alcohol grade, handing one to me.

“Thank you,” I said taking a small sip cautiously. It... wasn’t disgusting sweet as Jazz’s from the party and didn’t burn the back of my intake. 

Probably helps that I’m not being force-fuelled, Thank Primus.

Prime retracted his mask to take a drink as well. I... I couldn’t help but watch. I never seen him without the battle mask. Wow, he was handsome. 

I quickly shot my optics away before he noticed.

He pulled out a folder of notes from his sub space to put the data pads away. I also watched him reorganize it was well.

Once I calmed down he asked me to help separate them by date. A nice simple task. 

With a small nod I expected.

I did my best not to snoop but tides tended to jump at me like:

DFF: Decepticon Freedom Fighters, terrorist activities.

But again I wasn’t here to snoop through the Prime’s paper work.

But that’s when the Prime spoke.

“Jazz told me you stood up to him at the track.”

I looked back up. Jazz... told him about that, why? 

Wait, then... Lord Prime did know about me accusing him for beating Jazz. But the Convoy didn’t seem upset.

“I know what He’s like, That was very brave if you,” He continued.

I didn’t know how to respond. Do I say “thank you” or “I’m sorry”...

“I apologize, Jazz was behaving weird yesterday and I’d mistake it for fear. Jazz is... important to me. I’m sorry, I jumped to a conclusion,” I said sincerely. I took another sip of my cube.

Optimus gave me a curious look.

A moment passed.

“Important to you,” Optimus said “Curios word choice...”

I flinched, Lord Prime was analyzing me? 

“I-.”

I was going to say that if he were to die then I’d be sold again and likely for cheep considering my rank. But that was a lie. I didn’t want Jazz to get hurt. It really was as simple as that, but how to word it...

I let myself think of a better answer when Prime closed his folder hard making me jump. I nearly spilled my drink. 

“I think I have everything I need here,” he said standing up. I quickly drank the rest of The Primes gift; not wanting to waste it. I stood up ready to go. 

When we got back to the nicely set up meeting room.

There was a try’s of Energon goodies set up nicely. Organized notes of folders. Datapads with different writing utensils all perfectly placed. A cart of High grade alcohol. And at the end very end of the table Jazz turned around in a swivel chair all dramatic.

“We’ve been expecting you...”

They did a Great job, it looked super professional.

Jazz came strolling up and crossed his arms.

“Welcome back OP,” he looked toward me. “I expect he was good for you.”

“Indeed,” The Prime nodded. 

“I didn’t doubt it for a second,” Jazz said giving me a good pet on the helm. I wrapped my arms around his arm just glad to be in familiar company. I could feel in Jazz’s field (that he was still trying to hide) he was glad I was back. Not just in a smug property owner but genuinely.

We still had a lot of time let, Optimus wanted to speak with Jazz so Nickel dragged me with her.

Jazz’s P.O.V

I could tell from his voice my pet hadn’t been crying. Which was really good, maybe Prime believes me now...

I felt bitter.

What, Prime needed to drag him away to get the truth? I turned my back to OP.

He knows how hard I’ve been trying to fix myself. Did he really take everything I said to him yesterday with a grain of salt.

I accidentally let my field crack lose letting him feel my disappointment.

But his had no reaction... 

That’s not possible, he had to felt that!

Closelens’s P.O.V

Me and Nickel we’re running down the halls with one of the leftover fancy Spinney chairs. Once we gain enough speed we’d both jump on and see how far we’d get. 

It was awesome! Nickel had these little boosters and with my height we could get almost halfway down the hall. 

It was ridiculous, I felt like a Sparkling but I don’t really care. It was a lot of fun and after my alone time with The Prime I needed this. I don’t even know how she came up with this.

“I can’t believe you’re Master let you do this,” I said as we sailed down the hall.

“Oh Please, As long as we don’t brake anything he won’t care. He has really problems to worry about,” She waved off as we slowed down. “Jazz doesn’t let you do fun things?”

“No, well... I... don’t really ask to do things, Jazz is more the spontaneous one,” I said but I gave it a little more thought. “I didn’t like asking for things. I’m already extremely Grateful for- w-ell his... mercy...I never want to come off as unGrateful, Jazz... he’s scary when he’s not... pleased,” I said quietly. “I didn’t ever want to be a burden.”

Nickel sighed.

“You told me yesterday that he beat up Springer to protect you, right?” She asked

“Yes-“ I started but she wasn’t done.

“Did you ask him too?” She asked leading me somewhere.

“No,” I responded.

“Do you think Jazz would waste his time beat up one of his old buddies for a stupid slave?” She asked sternly.

“...” I knew for a fact it wasn’t just a settling old scores thing. He only did it to protect me.

“Then you probably mean something to him. also a word of advice, never be Grateful someone treats you the way you should,” she added.

But like that she used her rockets to push us off before I could respond. My spark stoped when somebody came out of one of the side entrances. I tried to yell out but it was to late and we crashed into the person.

But they didn’t budge.

In fact they had caught the chair with a single large servo...

Uh oh...

I looked up to see a face I thought I’d never see again...

I froze in place chilled to the core. 

I gasped.

It was Fortress Maximus.


	40. Ch 40: Ego and Place Part 2

Chapter 40

Ego and Place Part 2 

Jazz’s P.O.V

 

Optimus ran though his notes out loud. It was all facts about current events and reports given to him by Ratchet regarding some of the Cons deteriorating mental and physical health. But I could tell just by looking at him his gears were turning to form them into a grand speech for later either here or in front of the Council.

Optimus is second to nun, he could hold a audience. 

Rodimus is good speech to but they’d have to be improvised or written by Drift. But I don’t think you could ever teach someone “how to be Optimus.” It just couldn’t be done. OP could turn this stiff, meaningless numbers and stats into something unbelievably compelling and thought provoking. It never ceases to amaze me.

The soulful look in his optics, the calm yet emotional blue. Primus his voice... I don’t even bother describing. Just listen, His majesty was truly unchallenged. 

I felt my spark swoon for him. I’ve never been ashamed-

...

...

Maybe... maybe a little...

But that was only because I was far from good enough and he was perfect...

“Jazz?” Primes voice said bring me out of my head. “You seem distracted,”

My optics darted up at him and I froze. 

“Sorry Prime, my mind just kinda... wondered,” 

Prime’s look became unreadable.

“You know, if there’s anything you want to talk about-“

“No no, I’m fine OP,” I said with a winning smile, lying through my teeth. 

I pulled my fields extra tight.

Optimus must have noticed as he gave me a sympathetic look. I glanced away, I didn’t like him feeling sorry for me. I don’t want him to think anything’s wrong.

“If you ever choose to talk about anything,” Prime said slightly pushing away his data pads as if to tell me he’d give me his undivided attention. “You know I’ll always be here, right?

I kept my optics low.

I’m sure he means that...

But I just want my sweet lens and I to go home. heh, it’s only been about a hour and I’m already feeling home sick. 

“I know I took a lot to get you out here, ever since you choose to run and... lock yourself away... I’ve missed you dearly.” Prime said kindly. “I don’t want you to feel you need to hide again. I’ve always felt guilt for not doing more to help,” Prime confidence.

I... I looked at him confused. 

No no, he can’t seriously blame himself!? He did nothing wrong. I was the one who was to weak or stupid to cope with the things I did. I was the one who stopped seeing Rung, I was the one who got myself into... trouble. I was too blinded by rage and Grif to even recognize the danger I was a-

I am a...

...

“Never blame yourself Prime, I knew good and well what I was doing. I just wish you’d punish me,” I wasn’t trying to be cute. I wasn’t joking. 

“I had figured you’d do that to yourself.”

I kept eerily still. My body shivered slightly.

OP never said it out loud, I always figured but... I turned away, I felt my emotions about to break. I didn’t want to look at Prime. It hurt to much to hear out loud. One thing Prime definitely taught me, mercy could always be a weapon. But sweet Primus, it was hard to take...

I shut my optics when I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders behind me.

“And it was wrong to do so. didn’t realize just how much It... I would hurt you... I failed you Jazz. I failed to recognize that one of my closest friends was unwell and clearly traumatized by what happened with Mirage and Cliffjumper, even after you confused I... I had trouble forgiving you. I left you to your own devices and that became my biggest regret. It was petty of me. Jazz... I beg you’re forgiveness.”

I cringed tugged on my hurt field with all my straight. 

I’m so sorry...” Optimus said with full sincerity. But it didn’t make the pain ebb any less. Of corse Id forgive him, he is still my Prime. Nothing changed, I still think I deserve it. I just... I just wanted to go home. Get under some warm blankets and cuddle with Closelens...

Pits I’m still using people to help me deal. My little distraction. What is wrong with me? Prime’s better off without me. I’d probably find a way to use him as well.

“So, can I go... you said what you wanted me to hear,” I said.

“Jazz, I won’t make you do anything you want to. But, I would love it if you stayed. I wouldn’t have offered you a place if I didn’t think your option valid,” Optimus said.

I couldn’t go now. Not if he thinks he needs me. I vented myself.

“Of course I want to stay, I just didn’t want it out of pity,” I turned to him with a fake smile. Prime shook his helm.

“Of course not old friend.”

I didn’t flinch like last time.

But I noticed something I’m my peripherals.

I just looked over to the door which was open a crack. I saw a red optic visor that were watching us but fled the moment we made contact. I didn’t say anything about it to Prime I’m not in the mood for any more drama...

 

Closelens P.O.V

I don’t have a moment to freeze up. I leapt off the chair as Fortress Maximus pushed it aside, with another look up into his glowing red optics I dropped to the floor. 

I was on my knees with my hands out flat. Back in the prison he would have us lined up like this if we were receiving group punishment. Like cleaning the floor with our glossa or being forced to drink lubricants or water. Thank Primus I never learned what he did to us individually.

“Forgive us Warden sir!” I shouted like back at the prison as well. I hade no idea how to face other Autobots, Jazz still never told me what they were aloud to do to us when we were without our masters. But Primus I know what happened last time a Autobot wanted to punish me for running into him...

I shivered. 

I doubt Fortress Maximus wouldn’t do anything like that, not with Nickel around. Primus I hope not! He was double the size of Springer and only just shorter then Prime. 

I felt a large hand grabbed my arm and pull me back up.

“Get up Closelens, you’re fine,” He said without malice but slightly annoyed. 

The large mech looked over to Nickel.

“Do you know where Optimus is?” Fortress Maximus asked politely.

Nickel was about to speak when a large helicopter barged in from behind us making me jump. 

“I FOUND HIM!” He shouted while darting straight into Fortress Maximus, “He’s in the west wing with Jazz. I was such a good mech I didn’t even interrupt their conversation, very seriously.” 

The helicopter nuzzled his master playfully. 

I knew who he was, ...he was a member of the Combaticons, Vortex.

With a small smile the Warden gave the helicopter a pet on the helm making him purr lovingly in response.

It was so bizarre. If anyone was ever going to be a abusive I’d would have thought Fortress Maximus definitely. The Warden was always punishingly strict and had a lot of mental problems, like PTSD. Just seeing his little smile was unreal. I-I didn’t think he could!

Vortex had absolutely no dents or scratches he’s been freshly painted and, he even had a custom collar. Well, it was still the same but it was painted nicely to mach him.

“This way,” Vortex sang rushing past us.

“Thanks anyways,” Fortress Maximus waved politely before following Vortex. 

Me and Nickel stood there a moment.

“Why do you think he’s here. It’s too early for the meeting,” I finally said.

“Na, Optimus asked him to send someone to keep a eye on us Cons while the big bots are talk shop. Looks like Max sent himself,” She said starting to push the chair down the hallway. 

“Yeah It’s so weird, he acted so... different.” I said still blown away, That wasn’t even close to the Fortress Maximus who ruled with the will of a tyrant. He seemed so... pleasant... wonder what’s changed? 

Nickel just ignored me. 

“Sooo, where are we taking the chair?” I asked as we left the hallway. 

“We’re putting it back, I thought of something else we could do... I know there was a extra basket of those Energon goodies me and Jazz laid out. The others might like em. I can show you where you’ll be staying,” the little blue femme said.

She’s not gonna be with us?

And I wouldn’t this she’d be allowed to take any form of Energon without explicit permission from her master. 

I’d never say it out loud but... I wonder how Optimus trained her? She was a very independent pet.

I don’t even think Jazz would let me steal Energon. I don’t think I’m allowed to fuel myself. 

That was kinda a uncomfortable thought to look back on...

Regardless we went on our way and found two baskets in the Energon storage area and brought them to a room Nickel had already set up before we got here. There was board game, puzzles, data pads, music and a really really old karaoke box.

Heh, wonder if it’s Primes. That was a amusing mental image.

We sat the goodies down on a side table.

The room was just as nice as the rest of them. This looked like a smaller meeting room with its stretched out shape high ceiling and chandelier. No table just lots of matching furniture all over the place, ready to be moved to a desired location. Electric torches lined the walls. I also noticed that the there were no windows. And only one door that looked custom reinforced, much like a vault and ready to lock. 

It was like a large comfy prison cell. 

Jazz’s P.O.V

“Jazz, I never meant to insult you,” Prime said.

“Then why did you want me here?” I darted a look at him. “If you hate me so much then why didn’t you leave me alone. I was just starting getting over you-... what you did!” I swiftly correct. 

Prime was taken aback with a hurt expression making my spark shatter. I didn’t want to hurt him but I needed to be honest. Still, I could have worded that a little better.

“I’m sorry sir, t-this wasn’t your fault,” I corrected. looking at the floor.

“No, you’re right. If I did something, then maybe you wouldn’t have drank yourself into a head on collision. Then maybe you would have made the effort to get better before you turned into a ghost only seen at party’s...” OP said

“I... I always sent you a invitation...” I whispered, “You never came.”

“No Jazz I did go. once,” 

I looked at him in disbelief, As If I wouldn’t noticed.

“You were so over energized I couldn’t even hold a conversation with you. You... you yelled nonsense at me and stormed off for the rest of the night,” Optimus said “You said you hated me, you said if I was a real leader I would have executed you...”

Prime took to looking anywhere else but me. His field torn with guilt.

Oh Pits, I... I said that? No... 

“I was to much of a cowered to face you ever again... but soon enough I heard about your speedy descent into your own psychosis and I couldn’t watch. I had to ask Ratchet to keep a optic out for you. You... seemed to spend enough time in the hospital as your own home...”

“This isn’t helping Prime, I’m sorry okay, I’m sorry I got slagged faced and yelled at you, I’m sorry that me giving up on life was sooo hard on you. I’m sorry you have a stupid Second in command who can’t do anything right!” I shouted feeling my self shiver with rage. “I hurt so many people, I’ve done so many wrong thing... The only thing that held me back from driving off the steepest edge I can fine is because I’m terrified of what will happen after. I don’t believe in Primus but I believe I deserve to melt in a smelting pit forever. I wanted to go to the Well, I wasn’t to finally be at peace. Prime, I’m so tired... I just wanted to rest. I want this horrible splinter in my spark to finally... Finally be gone.”

I was panting fighting of tears.

My cooling fans were on full blast. Their it was. All in the air for everything within audio shot. 

Happy?

Was he finally satisfied? Have I’ve suffered enough? Could my punishment ever be over?

I closed my optics and quickly took off my visor to rub my eyes then put it back on.

Prime took a step closer getting to his knees, he brought his arms around me in a loving in embrace. I was flush agent my Primes chest, I could hear his beautiful spark humming... his field engulfed me full of love. A Soothing and powerful his hands on my back. I closed my optics unable to stop myself from crying.

I wasn’t mad at him... not really.

I felt small but less alone, Prime field... spoke to me... he was here. He cared about me or at least felt pity. He... he didn’t want me to die. That in some way I was... loved.

Prime would do this for anyone...

But I didn’t care at the moment. I just wanted to enjoy his attention, for a little while at least...

I was so relaxed in his arms I was afraid I’d accidentally fall asleep. Primus I wish I could stay here. I wish he could keep me. Never needing feel my pain again. He could protect me from myself and the rest of the world.

...

...

There was suddenly a knock at the door. Making me open my optics with a momentary spark of anger. Prime let me go and got up.

“Come in,” Optimus said.

I didn’t even notice how flushed I was. I crunched my field up embarrassed as Fort Max and his Con came in and started greeting Op. 

Pits, there was no way Optimus didn’t notice my ridiculously high temperature. 

I couldn’t help but turn on my cooling fans which hummed to life. I felt embarrassed as The warden gave me a side glance, hearing them. I couldn’t shut them down, I’d only get hotter. My spark pounded against my chassis and my vision was slightly blurry. I felt sick, my tanks turned violently. 

Meanwhile Optimus poured us fore a drink. I leaned back against a nearby wall just so I wouldn’t fall over. 

Prime gave me a worried sideways glance.

“You alright Jazz?” 

“Sorry, I’m feel a bit faint. Mind, if I pop outside for a click?” I said with a weak smile. Making for the door.

“Oh, I have some Med grade if-“

“Oh no-no sir, it’s fine. I just need some fresh air,” I said trying to get away. I couldn’t be in this room anymore. Thankfully Prime didn’t press the issue or ask me to stay. I don’t think I could ever refuse him...

I slipped pass the door and leaned on it shut. I made my way down the brightly lit halls and fond a place I could just sit down and calm down. I couldn’t wait to get outside, I needed to use my cooling fans now or I’d be sick. 

“Why can’t I just get over you,” I muttered putting my helm in my hands.

Everyone know he’s a big softy, he’d never hurt anyone if he didn’t have too. This... has probably been eating him alive for a while.

He even tried to help me before? Pit why was I such a idiot.

I was suddenly I got a bad craving a drink of alcohol grade. Which made me cringe a little. I haven’t been dependent on that for a while. Thankfully it was far from my reach at the moment otherwise I doubt I could ignore the temptation.

I shut my optics and got back up once I collected myself. I knew what I was a little hazy on what to do next, but a good idea sparing to mind. I popped up Closelens collar controls and tracker on my hub... 

Closelens P.O.V

Me and Nickel were both upside down on one of the sofas, we both had little players from some of the board games we had set up and were trying to toss them into a garbage can across the room. 

Nickel was beating me.

“Can I ask you about something?”

“Shoot,”

“Do... do other bots hide their field in front of Prime?” I asked. 

“Huh?” she looked at me.

“W-well it’s just that every time Jazz sees his Prime he closes himself off. I just wanted to know if other people do that,” I asked but due to Nickel expression I doubt it normal.

“No, That’s just a Jazz thing I guess. Huh, I guess he dose do that! Heh, I never noticed,” She said siting herself up properly. I stayed upside down and threw another player at the garbage can again but it just bounced off the side.

“Ya gonna ask him?” She asked.

“I guess,” 

Not that I haven’t tried before... Maybe him and Prime had a fight. Optimus is well regarded for his benevolent’s, perhaps he didn’t take to kindly Jazz abusing Prisoners...

Perhaps.

Well it’s the only thing I can think of that might cause friction between them. Then again I don’t really know that much about Prime. 

I shot another little playable character into the trash, once again bouncing off of it. 

“Uh, I’m sorry if this is boring,” the tiny blew femme apologized.

“No no, this is fun,” I said without any hit of sarcasm.

“K, well I’m bored,” She said “what do you and Jazz do for fun.”

“We tend to cuddle up and watch movies. Or I do small chose around the house. But as of late I’ve been mostly sleeping a lot,” I said, “You?”

“Oh, I Most stick with prime and work as his assistant. Political stuff,” She waved off pretending as if it was nothing. I found that... odd... she was a DJD member. She worked beside Tarn, one of the most dangerous Decepticons to ever live. How the leader of the Autobot could ever trust her defies Commonsense.

“That’s kinda a big deal right?” I said... 

“Not really, what am I gonna do with that sort of information? Revolt? Get real, I’m thankful for the big guy, ya know?” 

“Yeah, I’m thankful for Jazz too...” Primus knows where I’d be now. “Better to be with someone who wants you then not.”

Nickel gave me a look. 

“Well, that doesn’t sound depressing at all,” she said sarcastically. “But lucky me, Optimus said that I was only a slave on paper. As far as he’s concerned I’m just a assistant. I even have a salary.” 

“Prime... pays you?” I said confused. Why would he? He could have anything he wants. “I thought you were a pet?”

The blue minicon laughed.

Really really hard.

“What? Of course not!” She needed to dry her tears. “Besides I just told you he doesn’t think of me as a Slave.”

“But... Pets are different then slaves,” I said with Jazz in mind and what he said on the train.

“Oh really? Pet are supposed to obey they’re master every whim. Beaten if they misbehave. They get domesticated until they are less then people-“

That drew a line. Jazz just got though telling me that I was a person.

“No!” I interrupted defensively.

“Yeah they do, tell me. When you see a turbo hound on a leash do you think of them as Cybertronians?” She said sure of herself.

“... no,” I said

“And when a cybertronian is running low, do we do tricks for our meals or get hand fuelled?” She asked.

Of course not, Jazz hasn’t ever asked me to do tricks... but that last bit got to me... Jazz cares about me. He’s always there when I need him. He’s helping me, pits he’s even going to help me after this is over. Jazz is isn’t like the others, Prowl, Kup or... Springer...

“If they think you’re a pet, then they don’t think you’re a person. Ergo, a slave,” Nickel said firmly.

“I’m telling Yeah it’s not true. if a our masters take care of us, we’re pets and if they expected us to take care of then we were slaves,” I tried to explain what Jazz had told me. But Nickel’s expression... her field disgusted.

“Where on cybertron did you get that lode of scrap? You kidding right? I am telling you, I’m nobody’s pet. I help out Prime to because he treats me well. He’s nice, certainly not because I’m some- obedient lap dog heeling to my masters whim for treats! I have two much self respect for that. I’m still a DJD member and I have my Decepticon pride.”

Again, the last part hurt. I felt myself get a little defensive with a ridge of anger. I- I still have pride! I’m still a decepticon too. Sure, not much of one but damnit Jazz never took my badge away. Not in any sense. I’ve never been forced to kiss a Autobot badge, pledge loyalty to The Prime, denounces Megatron or my faction. I still have my purple insignia. And I plan on keeping it forever.

My faction may not have treated me right but my loyalty is for the original Decepticon Ideals.

Nickel must have noticed my field and looked with a apologetic face.

“Oh... you weren’t talking about me and Prime were you? D-did Jazz... make you a pet?” She asked clutching her chest.

...

...

...

I was too angry to talk. I couldn’t trust my words. 

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I-I understand that you can’t control who your given too-“

She continued to try and fine the right words too. 

She was right on some level. I did let my Autobot Master brake me down. 

I was at a lost what to say to her. The answer was yes, I am a pet. Yes, I get on knees and let Jazz hand fuel me. Yes, He puts me on a leash if I misbehave. Yes, He doesn’t let me sit on the furniture when guests are over. Yes, He pets me to make me feel better. And yes he... 

He gives me treats.

I guess I rebelled a little a first but that was more internally. But it was true, I never even gave Jazz a fight. He’s... much stronger then me, and honestly he still scares me. His past... if he’d ever found my Lab during the war... I could have been r... raped by him... Primus know what else he’d do to them. A board and angry master torturer was never good company.

Primus couldn’t help me if Jazz changed his mind now. I’d think I’d just try and brake a window and hope the fall finished me. Honestly that’s probably why he gave me the codes. So Ironhide might protect me.

But with all that in mind I really don’t hate being a pet. It was True Marcy compared to what could have happened.

“I... I was... so scared,” I whispered. I remember how I felt when I first got to his place. I honestly thought he’d torture me to death. On some levels I still believe he will if I step out of line. I’m still scared at least a little bit.

“So Sorry,” she said.

Honestly was I even that? Yes I strongly still believe in all the thing I joined for. I still believe in peace through tyranny, But not so much in slavery sense... I still believe in the equality within our race. Everything Megatron preached too us, wrote about...

But Jazz broke me like glass the second I set optics on him and he used that.

“Heh, I’ve always been a cowered. I can’t blame you for thinking little of me...” I said honestly.

“That’s not what I meant. I didn’t mean to shame ya, I know Jazz was some sort of interrogator. And a really high ranking officer. I know how I felt when I first got picked up by Prime.”

I’d do anything to change the topic, this was my chance.

“Were you scared,” I asked innocently.

“Pits right I was! I never saw him in the war, only heard the story’s. I figured he’d just crush me like a tin can! So I’d at least fight him for the privilege!” She said waving her tiny fists in the air.

Honestly made me feel worse about how I reacted to Jazz.

“But after a few dozen punches to the shins and half a cube of high grade later, I released I wasn’t in immediate danger,”

It took me a lot longer to feel that...

“Nickel, how do I... stick up for myself,” I asked shyly.

She blinked at me.

“Listen, I’m sorry with what I said before. If you can put up with being a Autobot pet until Optimus frees us then that’s fantastic. Your more flexible then me. I don’t want to give you any advice that might get you hurt. I don’t know Jazz that well. Again so sorry for being insensitive. I personally don’t like the idea of domestication. It... freaks me out. Tarn reserved that kind of thing for traders within the DJD it... was the only thing I’ve ever seen him do that once and it kinda freaked me out.”

I was about to ask when the door opened. Expecting to see Vortex or some other Con come join us, it was Jazz. I thought he’d be with the Prime longer? I sat up on the couch.

“Closelens, come here.” He said in a semi serious voice. 

“We’re going home.” 

What? I... I was tired, yes. But I wanted to make sure I was hearing this right.

“You’re done already?” I asked confused. Did Prime only wish us to help set up or something? I don’t get it.

“In a way... I guess,” 

“But, you guys just got here?” Nickel said confused.

“I’m not staying for the meeting. Nickel, please tell OP that I’m sorry,” 

Jazz was doing that thing again. Trying to hide his field except this time he was really having a hard time with it. Even Nickel probably felt him.

“Jazz what happened?” I asked. He seemed happy about seeing Optimus today, what is wrong? I got up nervously, Jazz’s field was wild and sensitive. Jazz suddenly grabbed my arm.

“Come on, let’s just go,” he said with a week smile.

I... wanted to ask again what happened between him and Prime. Jazz felt so... sad. I waved to Nickel as Jazz dragged me out into the hall.

There was a good chance he would tell me once we were in private.

I couldn’t believe it, I honestly thought he liked the Prime. Jazz only seemed to have good things to say about the mech. I wonder if they fought. 

Jazz led me through the castle back to the main area.

“Jazz, Please, tell me what happened,” I asked.

“Don’t worry about it Pet, it wasn’t important,” He said with a fake smile. I gave him a sharp look.

My afterburner it wasn’t, I hated that he was doing this why was he lying, he’s been doing that a lot lately and that needed to stop.

“It must be, why do you keep hiding your field from people, from me!” I said with a glare.

“It’s fine-“

“No, you have been acting really weird lately and I’ve had enough tugging around. You told me it’s my job to keep you happy. How am I supposed to do that with you keeping secrets,” I demanded. Jazz shot me a annoyed look.

“Listen, I’ve decided we were leaving now. Why? because I said so,” 

“No, I want a real answer,” I tore my arm away from him and crossed them. I wasn’t budging until he talked. Just like back a the race track. “You can’t just-“ 

I let out a short yelp when a short painful shock came through the collar.

I looked up at him and looked at his blank cold expression. Jazz’s messy field suddenly turned intense. My optics got bigger as a something else hit me. The last time he shocked me... I was because I disobeyed Jazz...

Oh, Primus. 

“Closelens...” he said like ice. “I’m not amused.”

My tank turned. As my expression of horror crept from my internal. 

“J-Jazz...” I half pleaded, my words lost in a trail of shivers.

“Not a word until we get home,” Jazz said hostile and annoyed.

It sounded familiar.

Oh Primus please no. Not again. Not ever again. Oh, and It would be 10 hits this time. Jazz grabbed my arm and pulled me along.

I would have started pleading had my fear blocked my voice. 

Jazz was angry at me. Oh pit, please no. No no no no no.

I knew what path I was heading. I... I’ve gotten to friendly and forgot who he was. He was still Jazz, the Primes torturer. And with new knowledge I now know he’s a revenge driven sadist. I keep trusting him. stood my ground in hopes to help him and I would pay dearly for it. Something I’d prefer not experiencing again. I couldn’t believe he’d still do that even after everything.

I guess their wasn’t little difference between a pet and a slave...

This wasn’t something I’m ever going to win at. Jazz can still decide my fate at a whim.

We made our way through the court yard gardens and to the drive way lined with gates. I noticed Jazz’s field slowly becoming sad. Whatever it is I need to figure out how to use it.

It sounds manipulative and sparkless but for pits sake I could hardly survive 5 let alone 10, I’d Die! I-I blacked out at 5! 

Jazz and I have made brake throughs, changed! Or at least I thought he did! He stopped enjoying making me fear for my life. This morning, I noticed he doesn’t treat fuelling me like a self victory. Or literally everything after Springer! He nearly killed a Mech to defend my honour. 

I felt myself tear up.

I couldn’t do this again. I felt myself relive the horrors from last time. The pleading, The ungodly pain, the horrible horrible gashes it left behind and the pain of everything afterwards. The overly turned on Jazz, the shower to clean my back. And even when he apologized for going over what he thought was the line. Primus he took care to make sure I recovered right...

That made this harder. Jazz is kind to me. So I can’t fathom why he wants to hurt me again. It broke my mind and spark to think about. 

I decided that this was it. I can’t go home with him. I can’t take anymore of this. This time I’d lent my fight or flight mode Gide me. If I went home I’d die.

But can I? Jazz doesn’t have a death grip and his mind is elsewhere. But... he... he captured me again... what would he do to me? 

I let out a whimper at the thought.

Should I take Nickel’s words to heart. 

Make him fight for the privilege. 

Which would is less worse. Being flogged to death or being killed trying to run.

For me at least the choice was simple.

“Jazz I’m sorry!” I blurted out sharply ripping myself free from him. And bolting as fast as my pleds could go. 

I fled from My Master.

I fled from Autobot Jazz.

This was single handedly the bravest thing I ever done And very possibly my stupidest.

I darted back into Primes In a rush of fear struck stupidity. I didn’t dare look back fearing what I would see. My limbs were no longer in my control. 

Left 

Right

Left 

Right

It echoed in my mind like a drumbeat. 

Each step my mind more regretful then the last. The situation sank in deeper and deeper into my mind just how stupid this was.

I, a scientist, am trying to outrun a special ops soldier who happens to be also the head of espionage and torture. 

I my be a scientist bit I was far from smart. 

But my feet didn’t care, I needed to run. I could lose him in there. I could hide o-or do something! I can’t let him get me! Oh Primus this was such a bad idea! I ran through the gorgeous main entrance as if Unicron’s spawn was at my heel. 

The tears didn’t stop as my fears came to the surface. Too afraid to look back. I dashed down a few random halls. I won’t get lost, internally I was drawing my own map. As I was dashing up a flight of stairs I gave a quick glance behind me and saw no one, that was good. If he was chasing me, at least lost him. 

But that didn’t mean I could stop, I needed a place to hid. I’m small I can find hiding spaces. After a few more twisting hallways I darted past a window that showed the courtyard I backed up to see Jazz wasn’t out there. He at least followed me inside. 

Oh Primus!

The feeling of being hunted only skyrocketed. My anxiety tripled. 

I peeked in a few room to find most of them empty, without any good spots. I darted back down stairs and peeked around finding a small laundry room. It had a lot of nice fabrics all folded up nicely. It also had a very pleasing sent. There was a large hamper that would be perfect for-

...

...

...

I was a HUGE idiot...

Jazz... the collar has a fraging tracker in it. 

My fuel tank twisted in horror as I suddenly felt compelled to be sick. A whole new level of hopelessness. I got in the room and bursted into tears. Openly sobbing, my vents working twice as hard. 

My spark swooned with regret as no doubt all Jazz needed to know was what floor I was on. 10 lashes would have looked like a dream compared to what no doubt my... inspired master would choose.

I let out a whimper clucking my servos. 

Now the question was do I keep running and pray he never catches me or I get out of the house and brake for Freedom...

I touched my collar and closed my optics.

Wait... 

Why hasn’t he shocked me? Like... REALLY shocked me. He could render me unconscious or even dead if he holds down the charge long enough. Dose he not want to risk killing me? 

Maybe if I drop to my knees and wait for him I can apologize and beg his forgiveness. Reminds him how submissive I can be. Tell him I-I don’t know what came over me. That I was over exhausted and jumpy.

But if he’s anger is still fresh... he might... hurt me worse.

And there’s no Ironhide’s to run too.

It’s far to late to go back now. 

The irony didn’t fail to dawn on me that had Jazz reminded to put me on a leash like last time this whole ordeal could have been avoided. I would have been by his side as a good pet. I maybe could have kissed his pleds on the ride home for forgiveness.

For pits sake, I only wanted to help.

I opened the door and looked around before bricking into a run. I was more doing it to create my internal map for fleeing the building later. I needed to find another path out. There was no point. I was a dead mech anyway. What could I possibly do to make this suggestion any worse.

I turned a sharp corner to run into someone with such force I landed on my back side. He was much bigger then Jazz. Much more blue and red then Jazz. 

Lord Optimus Prime.

I slowly looked up at him. I didn’t even hold back a full scream. I crawled backwards in horror. Before gods chosen had even time to respond. 

Why? Why do I have a to bodyslam EVERY important mech in Jazz circles of friends. And why did it have to be Lord Prime!?

This was it for me.

This kind, merciful warrior had a reason to smite my pathetic excuse of existence off the face of cybertron. I’m now a run away POW slave, a traitor. This wasn’t a cute run in was a mech I once knew. This was The Matrix bearer.

I was frozen to the floor sobbing like a pathetic Impudent cowered who forgot the pecking order.

Prime had knelt down and reached for me Making me panic I-II kicked him in the face with everything I had and took off running back the way I came. 

My Energon flowed with the use of my adrenaline reserves running high. I fled back to the laundry room as fast as I could this time I could hear the heavy pleds of The Prime.

“Closelens wait!” He called out.

That pushed my fear to 11 making me run a whole lot faster. But the Prime was fast and had much larger strides and was behind me fast. With all my effort, I dashed back to the laundry room slamming the door shut and pressing the lock button. 

My body collapsed in a trembling ball of temporary relief. I had just ran for my life after kicking the Prime in the face. I may be safe- 

I heard a knock on the door that made me cringe myself into a hug.

-But I won’t be for very long...


	41. Chapter 41 Ego and Place part 3

Chapter 41

Ego and Place part 3

Note: sorry not sorry for that evil as hell cliffhanger! I’m not gonna make you wait 2 months like last time, dick move on my end. Especially cuz this and a few more chapters are on Fanfiction.net I uploaded their first in chase anyone was wonder. Please enjoy! Reviews are appreciated. Now, back to the small Con having a panic attack The Novel! 

There was another knock at the door.

I was to hyperventilating. My vents had stalled out so I needed to use my intake as a manual fan but it wasn’t working. I wasn’t getting any cool air. The room felt tight around me. By body was in semi recharge as I used up my adrenaline reserves and my body was gone and left a me drained and weak. And that was before taking into consideration no night of sleep.

Primus above I’m stupid. So. Incredibly. Stupid.

The Prime is gonna to rip that door apart and... I have no idea what punishment he would have in store. Jazz was his second in command, maybe he’d make him do it... or he’d beat me himself.

Call me ungrateful for his kindness.

I heard another knock and I heard the Prime murmur from the other side. I couldn’t make it out but I dragged myself back to my feet and looked around for any means of defending myself.

During the war, Some people had there last stand on the front lines. Some had it during the initial uprising. While people like the Wreckers made a job out of it. I was going to make mine cowering in a Landry room.

Honestly I couldn’t think of anything more fitting for me.

I made a mess of the place looking for something, anything. But nothing but hangers and blankets. 

I heard a heavier knock on the door that scared the daylights out of me.

A different voice called out this time, Another that I reconsider as Fortress Maximus along with Vortex. 

My spark sank. I... I wasn’t important enough for this much attention. I was still nothing.

I shut my optics that’s when I head them try opening the door. 

My spark was pounding in my chest. I was on borrowed time. I’m sure the Prime had some sort of master controls to overwrite the lock. I whimpered at the thought of them seeing me cowering in front of a washer and drier. I tossed as many blankets as I could into the large hamper and dove it. It wouldn’t protect me but I couldn’t just stand there. A pathetic mess.

I buried myself. My optics lit up the darkness and I went into my hub. I saw my Inter Comm options seeing Jazz’s name. 

Do I dare?

I saw Ratchets name as well. The medical officer was always so kind to me. I think if I was ever going to make a last call I think it would be him. 

I took out my wrappers twisting them in my servos.

Do I dare call him, I did just kick his prime...

Frag it, it’s not like it could get much worse.

 

Ratchet’s P.O.V

I had my arms around Drift, he was in hard recharge after our last... session. It was his way of... encouraging me to stay home today and relax. 

Gotta say, it really worked.

I was about to go into recharge as well when my Comm went off.

I growled in anguish, I shifted in my blankets. I was expecting to see the Hospital calling but I was completely wrong.

But this brought on a new level of worry. 

It was uh... the kid, Jazz’s Con. 

Primus what did Jazz do this time I ponder. 

Closelens’s Comm”

Well at least I got his name.

“Hello?” 

“R-Ratch3t... I-I... I fraged up,” He sounded terrible, his voice was tired and filled with static.

“What happened? Are you ok, did Jazz hurt you?” I asked sitting up and getting out of the berth. 

“N-not yet. B-but I j-just wanted to Comm you. Thank you so much for picking up, I-I’m sure you’re busy s-so I’ll keep it shot,” the kid’s voice rattled like he had a gun to his head. “If I die, I want what’s still works of me to be recycled. But I want to be a Donor for Cons only, no Autobots. If any of my Kibble is left I want it melted with the exception of my 4 big lenses. I want those to go to anyone who needs them. I’m sure they will make better use of them then I ever did.”

I was fuming as I listened to him fight back sobs. It’s not the first time someone gave me a dying will, testimony and burial methods but during peace time and not on a death bed? No fraging way I’ll stand for that. I got on another Comm to have a little chat with Jazz.

“Closelens just vent, I’m calling Jazz right now-“

“Please Don’t, lord Prime and Fortress Maximus are gonna kill me long before Jazz has a chance to take a shot at me,” he said making me more confused.

“Wait slow down, Prime’s trying to kill you?” No way that was true. But that did paint a different image. He was probably just spooked, like how he reacted when he first saw me. 

“Yes,” 

Oh boy.

“Where are you?” I said rubbing the side of my face. Jazz still hadn’t answered.

“I-I’m trapped in the Landry room, both of them are just outside trying to get in,” Closelens whispered. 

Oh goodie, but I can solve this.

“Closelens, I’m gonna keep you on the line but I have to make other call, I need you to slow down and work your vents slowly. Alright, can you do that?” Ratchet asked.

“I’ll do that sir, but please don’t go,”

“Don’t worry, I’m not leaving you,” I said calmly.

After a failed third attempt to contact Jazz, I hissed. Standing up I left the room for my refinery taking a quick shot before my gave up and tried Primes Comm. Someone I know won’t ignore me and with a little more sense in the head.

Optimus’s P.O.V

I touched the side of my right optics where I had a small pled shaped dent. I wasn’t sure what made the little Con so frighten. Perhaps I just really startled him. Or he thinks I would be upset about him running in to me the halls. 

“Want me to take out the door?” Fortress Maximus offered. 

“No no, I can unlock it but I think that might scare him. I’d like to inform Jazz before we do anything more. Only thing is he’s not picking up.”

My Comm went off, I wasn’t who I had been expecting.

Ratchet’s Comm:

“Ratchet, I don’t think this is the best time-“

“Open that door and I will hunt you,” Ratchet threatened with a growl. I don’t understand.

“How did-“

“The kid‘s on the other line. He just got done blathering about his burial wishes,” Ratchet explained. I... I couldn’t tell if ratchet was joking or not. “So, What spooked him?”

“I’m not sure,” I said still wonder why he was running. I folded my arms and leaned to one side. “Could you ask him what I did?”

“Don’t take it too spark prime, he’s a little jumpy.”

I think I’ve had a dozen or so hits from Cons in a panic. Most of which from Nickel when I first brought her home.   
I couldn’t help but smile, I liked how protective Ratchet is, he has a good spark.

When Ratchet was satisfied he left giving me the chance to Comm Jazz again but still no answer.

What is he doing?

Ratchet’s P.O.V

I switched back to Closelens’s line where I heard him praying out loud. Something I’d normally roll my optics at be not this time. I can’t imagine what the poor kid is feeling. Cornered, weaponless, without anyone out there to help. surrounded by big scary mechs.

On the plus side was I know who he “angered.” Prime wouldn’t even so much as scratch his paint. 

“Kid, I’m back, see like I told you I would,” 

“T-thank you,” he whispered. 

“Alright listen to me, I just contacted him and he’s confused, what happened?” I asked in a calm voice. 

“I-I fraged up. Jazz is mad at me. We had a argument and I disobeyed him. And-and I ran away, it was so stupid. Primus I wish I hadn’t. I don’t know what came over me. I-I just- I just panicked-“

“Slow down, back on topic. So you think Jazz is upset. How dose Prime fit in all this?” I asked trying to get him back on track.

“R-right, s-sorry. I-I bumped into Lord Prime. I panicked, I hit him,”

I blinked. “Bumping into” and “hitting” were two very different things 

“You hit Optimus?”

“Twice.”

Closelens’s P.O.V

My spark sank when I heard Ratchet suddenly bursted out into laughing. 

Did he... did he think this was funny? I felt myself glare as I snugged in more with the blankets. This was absolutely no laughing matter. His leader, chosen one of god and slayer of Megatron was no doubt furious with me. And Primus knows what when he gets he servos on me. 

I felt the tears come back. I was a joke, this wasn’t lost to me but this! I would have hung up if the thought of being alone didn’t make me terrified.

So I sat there listening to the medic recollect himself.

“Sorry Closelens, I’ll be back,” 

“No wait!” I shouted but he already put me on hold. 

I really didn’t want to be alone, I was already on borrowed time. Talking to him made me forget from the horrors awaiting me on the other side of that door. 

He was so... big. So powerful. Just like with Jazz, mythic in scale. Monsters from fables was all they were to me during the war. 

I always counted myself luck I never had to witness it first hand. No matter how much I secretly wanted to be a front liner. 

It was almost pitch black in here, other then the light from my optics lighting the blankets around me with a red hue. 

Jazz, has a friend that was interested in keeping me... maybe he was going to sell me to him, or Primus forbid, into the slave auction. Before I had been lucky to avoid that step in the past. I wouldn’t sell for much. I was a small frail mech, not much of a prize. More a collectable really... 

I clutched the blankets around me. I couldn’t stand being forced to listen to the inaudible sounds coming from outside. The Prime likely discussing me and what should be done. It made me sink deeper making sure I was completely covered. Nothing was showing.

I offlined my audios.

I don’t want to be here. 

I was such a idiot.

Suddenly I felt my head and the room became very very quiet. Very dark, very quiet...

Ratchet’s P.O.V

I had a stupid smile on my face, a swell of semi pride. I’m glad the little microscope had a burst of bearings. Even if it was likely out of pure terror. Prime probably figured out that one all on his own. 

Optimus picked up.

“And?” He said with a slight edge to his voice. 

“Did he hit you?” I asked. 

“Twice,” Prime said making me smile again. “The first one wasn’t intentional.”

“Uh Huh...” I said getting a clearer idea what happened. “He and Jazz had a fight. Apparently the kid ran away scared but ended up bumping into you.” I explained, I head Optimus sigh. 

“Can you send me his Comm frequency?” Optimus asked. I know he probably wanted to tell the little guy that he was safe but I wasn’t so sure how’d he respond to hearing Prime in his head. He’d probably have a spark attack and think I betrayed him.

“I better ask him first if he’s ok to talk to you first,” I responded.m

“Of course,” Prime said calmly. 

Closelens’s P.O.V

I hear my hub turn back on to notify me about my Comm.

Nap over. But I’m sure I’ll be recharging permanently after today. I wasn’t sure what to feel.

“Hello?” I said

“Closelens, Prime would like your Comm frequency. Do you mind if I share?” 

I froze.

He-he wanted to talk to me? Oh Primus...

No, this doesn’t have to be horrible. m-maybe h-he’s giving me a chance to explain myself. I felt a small spark of hope. Lord Prime is known for being for being a merciful leader, perhaps... perhaps he might let me live. 

But if Prime won’t tolerate me I wouldn’t except Jazz fight for me. I imagine Jazz won’t want me after all the trouble.

Sadly this was best case scenario.

My hysteria had died down into a deep sad dread. 

I relived I kept Ratchet waiting.

“Yes, I’ll do anything he asks of me,” I wanted both of them to hear that. 

Ratchet said something else but I couldn’t hear, or I wasn’t listening. I was way to busy thinking about what to say to Lord Prime. 

Ratchet left me to talk to Prime.

I felt nervous, I felt sick. My tanks did somersaults. I wasn’t really to talk to him. I have no idea what to expect.

That’s when someone else called on my Comm. A unfamiliar frequently. Very hesitantly I answered it.

I stayed silent.

“Closelens?” Asked a deep powerful voice.

Still I couldn’t find my voice.

Ratchet’s P.O.V

I still kept Closelens on another line in case he still needed me. Speaking of I still wasn’t getting anything from Jazz. 

I heard a noise behind me and I got a hug from behind. 

Drift had gotten up it seemed.

“Sorry did I wake you?” I said tired.

“I thought we agreed no hospital stuff today,” Drift said. 

“It’s not, but Optimus needed some help,” I said partly lying. But I wasn’t in the mood to go over the whole story. Maybe later.

Drifts hands became firmer as he started to stroke me, bringing them a bit lower.

“Good, I’d hate to have to take back all the things I did for you...” he purred. “In fact I think you earned another one.”

I couldn’t help but growl in response. Drift was in a very good mood...

I’m still gonna keep my hub open just in case I’m needed again. But I’m very sure Prime has this covered. For now, someone else needs my attention...

Closelens P.O.V

I still couldn’t speak. 

I had no idea what to say, I had no idea how to respond. If I did, I’d just be a tangled sobbing sap begging for mercy. But for pity’s sake I couldn’t just lay here playing dead over the phone!

“It’s alright you don’t have to talk if you don’t want. But I hope you listen. You are safe. I know you were frightened and that is why you kicked me.”

I cringed.

“I bare no ill will towards you, I swear to Primus himself and give you my word as a Prime, when you feel ready to open the door, you will come to no harm.” 

H-he forgives me? Just like that. No, there has to be something, maybe it was just a ploy to trick me into handing myself over. But he sounded so... calm And he swore to Primus. I don’t think the Prime would lie on his Gods name. He didn’t sound fake in the least. Could I really expect to be that lucky? No, I should go along with this. Regardless I won’t get anywhere if I resist. I shouldn’t look to annoy. I managed to think of something to say.

“Thank you my Lord,” I whispered “I’m so so sorry,” I wasn’t just saying it. I really shouldn’t have left Jazz. 

“Jazz isn’t here yet. so if you’d feel more comfortable and would like to wait for him, you may,” Prime said.

“I’m sorry my Lord,” I repeat.

“It’s alright Closelens, and Please, you can just call me by name. Remember?” Primus he has such a lovely voice. And his tone... it was the same as back in his studies. Not a hit of anger.

I sighed to myself and let myself calm down. I was so on edge my joints hurt. 

It was time to get out of my comfy resting place. I should just get this over with...

I got up best I could and tried flip back out of the large hamper but I ended up jumping with to much force and not high enough. Taking out the basket with me. both of us hit the floor at full speed.

Optimus’s P.O.V

WHAM!

I heard a large crash noise from inside the Landry room. Fortress Maximus gave me a worried look before approaching the door pulling out 2 wires for hacking. I eminently grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Fortress Maximus, what are you doing?” I asked. I had promised the little Con that I wouldn’t open it until he was ready.

“Sorry Prime, But I know Cons do some messed up stuff when cornered,” He said. I knew exactly what he meant. I’ve see mech on the front line use whatever possible to use on us or themselves... I allowed him to continue. The door flew open to reveal startled Big red optics looked at me from the floor. The little Con had a Scuffed up face plate with a little Energon pooling at the corner on his mouth. He was also covered in blankets. Still inside the flipped Landry hamper.

The Con didn’t move.

“My apologies, I heard a commotion and wanted to see that you were alright. Might I ask what you are doing,” I said lifting both my hand to show that I was unarmed. I knelt down slowly as to not frighten him.

“I-I fell, sorry...” He said quite 

“Do you have any serious injuries?” I asked. He didn’t look seriously hurt but I just wanted to be sure. 

“No, O-Optimus, please forgive me. I-I- me and Jazz had a disagreement a-and I-” He started to ramble. He pulled himself up and hastily cleaned up the mess. He never stopped shivering and he kept shifting his optics away from me. 

“As I said before, There is nothing to forgive.” I stoped him.

“I-I will except any punishment you choose for me,” He said clearly not listening. He dropped to his knees and giving me a low bow.

“Closelens, look at me. It is fine. What I said in my office, what I said on the Comm, it’s all in affect. With me, you will come to no harm.”

He gave a uneasy nod. I expanded my field in a effort to ease him calm him but when I did he just ended up flinching. 

I was about to say something again when Jazz came into view.

Closelens’s P.O.V

My spark was pounding agent my chest. 

My vents just stopped.

I wasn’t sure to run to him or run away. Thankfully my body stalled keeping me right where I was. As he got closer my dread only grew. He had that... awful unreliable neutral expression.

As he approached Prime slightly stood in the path between us.

“Jazz, why weren’t you picking up your Comm?” Prime said with more authority.

Jazz said nothing. Which was, in my opinion, worst then saying nothing. I couldn’t see his optics but I knew damn well he was looking at me. And when he brushed past Prime I gasped slightly and shut my optics. I held my arms up defensively. 

But no pain came.

Jazz hugged me instead.

He rested his helm on top of mine and had me in a warm field of worry and understanding. My optics opened in shock before I was compelled to hug back.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered giving my audio fin a soft cress.

Something broke a little in me. I couldn’t believe it. Maybe it was the emotion in his voice. Or me continuing to refuse that it was true. This couldn’t be true, why? Jazz was gonna hurt me, I was so sure of it. Or even sell me off to whoever. I felt a dam of build up washed with pure relief. I bursted into tears. He wasn’t mad, oh that was so good to here. Unbelievable but Amazing! I still couldn’t believe it in full.

“Y-you st-still want me? E-even after I ran away???” I sobbed. Primus, I know Jazz had a friend that was interested o-or something. I don’t want to go with anyone else. My spark couldn’t take it. 

I liked Jazz. He kept me safe, he wanted me happy. I wanted him to keep me.

“Shhh, of course I do. I overreacted, I’m so so sorry I didn’t mean scared you like that...” Jazz said letting me relax. His other servo stroked my back and brushed along my kibble, trying to calm me down. Oh, this felt amazing. I was so happy I don’t even care about Optimus, Jazz wants me, Jazz would protect me. 

I was right about him. 

Speaking of, he turned too look at the Prime.

“Thank you, for finding him,” Jazz said.

Prime gave a short nod.

“Are you alright?” Prime asked.

“Yes OP,” he said giving me another squeeze. “We’ll be fine...”

“Good, I hope this conflict will now be over. The others should be arriving soon. I felt Jazz stiffen slightly, but not move. 

“Sounds good,” Jazz said, but I could here a twinges of anger, just the microscopic amount that made me nervous. I tired to move but Jazz just squeezed tighter. It kept me from saying anything.

Now I was very very nervous...


End file.
